Wicked Angel
by DevilishPleasures
Summary: I am Edward Cullen and I have a deadly secret: I am a hit man. My new target: Isabella Newton. With the help of my friends, we plan the crime of the century. What the hell am I going to do when she becomes more than my target and becomes my life...?
1. Prologue

**Wicked Angel**

Prologue

"_Now the dark begins to rise"—_Breaking Benjamin

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I was innocent once. I would like to think that at one point in my life I was normal. But if that were the case how could I enjoy the rush I got from ending life?

"Normal" was just never in the cards for me. I can see things before they happen, but I could have never predicted how drastically my life would change that fateful night in June nine years ago.

June 20th, 2000

"Jake!" I yelled as one of my best friends tried to splash me with the frigid ocean water. We were celebrating the beginning of summer, the end of innocence.

"It's just a little water _Ally_," Jake teased me. I fucking hated when people called me Ally. Who the hell names their kid Mary Alice? I dropped that Mary shit like a bad habit. It just didn't fit me, at all. Jake's arm found my shoulder and we walked in silence for a while, just enjoying the nice summer night.

"I told you it wouldn't rain tonight, didn't I?" I reminded Jake when he said we shouldn't be going, that it was gonna fucking "rain on our parade" if we went to the La Push beach. Jake accepted me. Edward and Emmett, my other best friends, they also accepted me. They loved my gift; they never made me feel like a freak or an outsider. I was one of them.

It was so calm, too calm. I should have known a storm was brewing.

I really can't even tell you how it all started; it was like a huge cluster fuck. Jake's father, Billy came out of nowhere. Slurring his words, waving a gun, telling Jake what a no-good-loser he was. Ranting about how pissed he was that Jake hung-out with the "Pale Faces," and not just any pale faces, but a skanky-mind-reading-devil-worshipper. Why couldn't people just accept my gift without bringing the devil into it? Without fucking making fun of me over it? Like I could control that it and turn it off. I acted like the comments muttered under people's breaths, or the innuendos didn't bother me. Like I could give two shits, but in truth, I did.

I shook with fear as the gun pointed in my direction. Jake immediately stood in front of me, pushing me behind him. Out of nowhere, Billy charged at Jake. Jake grabbed his father's hand that held the gun. I screamed out in fear, I couldn't make out whose hand was whose. When the gun fired, I dropped to my knees, sank inches into the sand, and yelled in sheer terror. "JAKE!" My eyes darted between the two, unaware of who had been shot.

Relief flooded through me when Billy fell and Jake emerged holding the gun pointed at his father, who was screaming in pain. Billy clutched to his leg, blood pouring through his fingers over his kneecap. I looked up at Jake, who didn't look scared, he looked _proud_. Mother-fucking proud! He stared at his father and fucking smiled before he pulled the trigger again, hitting his other knee cap. This time, the gunfire didn't startle me, it ignited me.

Billy cried out again, and I was flooded with all the memories of being called a freak from everyone in town. Residual pain from being mocked for years boiled up inside me. I wanted to fucking kill them all.

"AGAIN!! Shoot him again!" I yelled as the third gunshot rang out over the deserted beach. Jake looked back at me with a wide grin on his face. I grinned back at him and listened to a fourth gunshot. I watched the blood spray across the white sand, chunks of flesh flying. I jumped with fucking joy while I clapped my hands like a five year old.

Jake dropped the gun to his side. "What a fucking rush!" Jake said with enthusiasm.

"I know, right? That was fucking crazy! Did you see his brain fucking explode with that last shot?!" It was like we were high, but it was better than coke, or meth, or even fucking ecstasy. I just saw Billy Black bite the bullet; kick the bucket; push up fucking daisies.

"What the hell are we going to do with the body, Pixie?" Jake asked me, like I could see the fucking future. Wait, I could! I could tell he was starting to get worried about the consequences of this.

"We have to call Edward and Emmett, they will help us. Don't worry … we just got away with murder." I told him, being one hundred percent certain, that if we did everything perfect, like my vision, no one would ever know the truth. Except us—the freaks.

We needed Emmett for his strength, and Edward for his photographic memory and abundant knowledge of death. I knew he was meant to be adopted by Carlisle Cullen, proprietor of Cullen Funeral Home. I already knew Edward would breeze through medical school. Knew he would complete it in half the time of the above average person. He was beyond smart, he was a genius. Edward already knew more about the human body than his adoptive father—who was also fucking smart as hell.

I paced the beach in excitement as we awaited Emmett and Edward. "Holy shit!!" Emmett exclaimed upon the sight of the bloody body of Billy Black. I thought Edward prepared him…. A wicked, deviant smile spread across his face. Yup, even the all-fucking-American quarter back was a fucked-up freak like the rest of us.

Edward was silent. Awe struck. I watched him pick up a chunk that landed several feet away from Billy Black. "Brain matter," I heard him mumble to himself in fascination. "What I wouldn't give to cut him open and explore," he said. Really, I thought there was no need, there were plenty of parts to Billy Black that were already wide-open. I almost felt sorry for Edward, though, as I watched him. He lived in a house full of toys he wasn't able to touch. The human body fascinated him, yet Carlisle never let him play. Really, Carlisle was a respectful man; he wouldn't even entertain the idea of his son experimenting with the corpses. If Edward was lucky, he was allowed to observe, which only furthered his frustration. I could see him through my visions sometimes; watching, aching to be involved, dying to cut, remove organs, and examine the diseased liver of an alcoholic or black lungs of a smoker.

"Let's get this mess cleaned up … the tide from the ocean will wash away all the bloody sand, but we gotta find a place for this body, and a damn good story to tell people," Edward said as he grabbed a black body bag from the back of his pickup truck. "I don't want any fucking blood in my truck," Edward told us, making sure his green eyes made eye contact with each and every one of us. Edward was meticulous. So much so that he would prefer not a hair was out of place on his head, but that just wasn't the case. His hair always looked like he just rolled out of bed. Fuck, for all I knew, he worked for that messy look.

I watched Edward grasp the legs of Billy Black, and Emmett grasp his arms, they swiftly moved the body into the bag and zipped it up. It wasn't until then that I noticed the splatters of blood that covered Jake's body, his white wife beater soiled, his brow smeared with blood and sweat. I knew he'd be cleaning it off in the ocean before Edward let him inside his vehicle.

We drove to the edge of the forest. Emmett and Edward unloaded the body roughly, letting it hit the ground with a thud before they picked it back up. I led them deep into the Olympia forest, carrying two shovels, to an abandoned stone shack I had seen several days ago in one of my visions. I just didn't know why, until tonight.

Edward dropped his end of the corpse immediately and took the shovels from me. He tossed one to Jake and one to Emmett. "Start diggin' boys. We need a grave."

I sat on a chunk of the stone house that had fallen out, exhausted. My adrenaline rush was gone and I was left feeling sluggish, tired, and just worn-the-fuck-out.

"You okay?" Edward asked, sitting next to me. I looked up at him and smiled weakly.

"Edward … I don't know … I think something might be … wrong with me after all," I confided in him. "I liked it—watching him die. It was like retribution for all the times everyone called me a freak, or a devil-worshipper. I felt this rush, high even … Maybe I am a freak after all."

"Don't say shit like that, you are not a freak. _They_ did this to you! To us! Jake didn't have a choice; no one should ever make someone else feel like a freak, you are not a freak, Mary Alice Brandon. That drunk, racist, piece-of-shit deserves to be six feet under."

I watched Jake bury his father. I watched him care less. I think the only stress any of us felt over it was getting caught, but I didn't see that happening. My boys always believed in my visions—ever since I saved Emmett from dying in a fatal car crash.

Jake had told everyone that Billy left, abandoned him. Vanished without a trace. It was believable; Billy Black was a notorious bitter drunk, after the death of his wife to natural causes.

The police put out a missing persons report, had an investigation—days turned into weeks, months, and it was clear we had succeeded. We got away with murder. The case went cold, unsolved. I was sure now it was probably in a box somewhere, stored, and dust-covered with time.

Once the case was filed away, it was like we started to withdraw from the kill. From the unknown of whether or not we would be caught (which I knew better), from the surge of adrenaline that took over when we held the power over someone's life … whatever it was, we all wanted the feeling back. We knew what we had to do—what we would do. We would kill again.

"Alice Brandon is such a freak," I heard Jessica Stanley say as Edward and I walked past her in the hallway at school one day. Edward looked back at her, a wicked smile spread across his face.

One week later, Jessica Stanley thought she was the shit, dating Edward Cullen. Little did she know, Edward had begun his first hunt.

We planned it, we made jokes about it. At the end—the result was fucking beautiful.

Edward took Jessica out to lookout point, fucked her hard, and killed her. He told her he had to "take a piss," exited the car, and scared her shitless making scratching noises on the top of the car. She drove right off the fucking cliff trying to get away. That was how the urban legends became one of our favorite games. Edward, the stellar actor he was, called the police in a frenzy.

They ruled the death a suicide. He had told police she was very upset that he broke-up with her, he stepped out of the car to take a few deep breathes over the upsetting situation, and she drove right off the cliff.

We all saw it happen, from a distance. We even brought refreshments.

That was how it all happened.

That was how it all started.

We were murders, killers—we _loved_ it, we thrived on it, we thirsted for it.

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_"It is foolish to think that by fleeing one can trick the dread god of death. Let us treat him as a beneficent angel rather than a dread god. We must face and welcome him whenever he comes."—_Mohandas Gandhi

**A/N:** This is a collaboration between six fan fiction authors (see profile). We'd like to thank you all for reading the Prologue. We promise a twisted love story that you'll love to hate! The whole of the story will be in Edward's POV, though the Prologue was in Alice's to establish the background. **We beg you to review**--we'd love to hear what you think of our new story!

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	2. 1 Sinful Pleasure

**Wicked Angel**

1. Sinful Pleasure

_Save your breath it's far from over__  
__Leave the lost and dead behind_—Breaking Benjamin

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Nine years later …

The road had curves that killed. Night had fallen on the state of Washington, and I was ready for a new hunt. I drove for hours, waiting for a phone call. Headlights from other cars continued to illuminate my face as I passed them. It had become a sick obsession of mine to turn those urban legends into the real deal whenever Miss Psychic called me in for a "job." I smiled at my plan and as another car passed. I could see in the mirror the glint in my eye; the one that said "you're an evil bastard, Edward."

"I know." I laughed to myself.

My Dodge Ram was tall, with huge, thirty-six inch super-swamper tires and a lift that just happened to help this plan out more than anyone could wish for. The road straightened from the wet noodle it was. I had been driving on it for days now to make sure I knew exactly where each curve was. You see, I was blessed with a stupid fucking photographic memory, but it worked for me. I remembered everything. _Everything_.

I smirked to no one but myself and switched my lights off. There were no street lights or buildings. Only farm land stretched out for miles around me. The moon was bright in the sky, the silvery light bathing the land in a ghostly reflection of daylight. In seconds a curve was going to shift to the left, and I turned my steering wheel accordingly.

My phone rang. "Excellent," I said to the air. Fumbling with my right hand, I found my phone in the cup holder and answered immediately. "What's my crystal ball going to predict for me this evening?"

Alice tinkled a wicked little laugh into the phone. "Edward, give it about a minute. That bitch is going down. She fucked with the wrong carnies!"

"You know, this is the first time you have asked me to murder so close to home in a long time." I quirked an eyebrow, not like Alice could see me anyway.

"Fifteen seconds. Don't disappoint me, Edward." There was a beep and I knew she had hung up.

Just like Alice had predicted, a car came around a corner and the first thing they did was flash their lights at me, reminding me I'm an idiot and need to turn my headlights on. There was only one idiot on the road tonight, and it wasn't me. I flipped my headlights on, shoved the brake down, put the clutch in, and switched to second gear, all while swinging my monster truck around. Okay, so the urban legend I picked wasn't that fucking original. So sue me.

My foot slammed on the gas, and then I punched the clutch again, switching gears. The tires hummed merrily as I barreled down the road. My deer guard rammed into the back of the car, the girlie pink license plate that said "JaneV09" was now bent. Bitch (Jane) didn't seem to want to die today. She was fighting back. Her car moved back and forth and I could tell she was hitting the gas hard. But there was a curve ahead, and I knew I had her. Behind the small littering of trees was a cliff. I lowered the gears of the truck and slammed my foot down against the gas and the truck groaned and jumped forward. The curve came into sight and I hit her car, hard enough that I knew she wouldn't be able to correct herself. Through the guard rail, slamming past trees … and her goddamned car fucking stopped.

"Dammit! Dammit!! Holy fucking shit, you stupid bitch! Why won't you die already?" I growled.

I put the clutch in, slammed the gearshift into reverse and backed up. Then I put the truck in first gear and followed the path of destruction. Trees were bent at funny angles and scrap metal seemed to dot the area. Jane must have been unconscious because she wasn't moving inside the twisted metal of the vehicle.

"This fucking blows, now she won't be conscious when she is flying off the cliff."

For a brief moment, I considered trying to rouse her from unconsciousness so she could enjoy the cliff-diving her car was about to do. But I knew better. No mistakes. Angry at myself, I slammed into her car, giving it one last jolt that sent her car just over the edge. It teetered for a second and then stopped.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I shouted. Then I heard the screaming. She had come to. Perfect.

Giving her car one last, final bump, it tumbled through the air and a blast of fire rose up for a second before smoke billowed overhead.

"Thank you," I said snippety to the scene before me.

My phone rang again after only a minute and I picked it up, a smile spreading across my face.

"Hey Son," my adoptive father said to me over the phone.

"Carlisle."

"Someone just phoned the police," Carlisle continued sleepily. It was three in the morning. "Whoever called in said they saw an explosion. Can you take this? From what I was told, no one could have survived that blast."

After he gave me directions to the crash site—not like I didn't know where that was at—and a grumpy good night, I sped down the road to get the coroner van and then back down the curvy road returning to the scene of the crime. I was leaning against the van as I took in the devastatingly beautiful scene.

"Why are you smirking, Edward Cullen," a sassy voice said only feet away. My eyes darted to the left to catch Tanya staring at me. She had those damn blue eyes that seemed to stare holes into my crotch and legs for days. She pushed some of her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, purposefully leaned her elbows against the hood of the van and smirked.

"It's nothing," I said. God, she was fucking hot as shit tonight. When I checked to make sure no one was looking, I strode toward her and slapped her ass.

She made an O face and looked over her shoulder at me. "I haven't heard from you in a while. Maybe after this …" she trailed off suggestively and waggled her eyebrows.

"Definitely," I whispered in her ear.

"Cullen!" someone shouted from afar. "We found a body."

I couldn't tell it was Jane, but I knew it was. Alice was never wrong. She and Emmett had been working with a moving carnival for a couple of years now. Alice was a psychic, and Emmett was the Strong Man. They were both my best friends, and they were just as sick and twisted as me. They begged me to go along with them, but what the hell was a doctor—the coroner and a part-time mortician—going to be able to bring to the life of the carnival? Nothing. But, I couldn't help but offer my services when needed. Jacob Black and those two evil carnies were the only ones in my life that knew my true love, my true passion, and my true job—a hit man. Except I don't do it the normal way. I'm flamboyant, and insane. I make it a sport, a game. I'm a hunter.

"Man, that is awful," Sheriff Swan said disgustedly over the charcoaled body. Parts of the skin were sliding off the bone, making small splats on the ground. He patted my shoulder as his face turned a little green. "I'm just glad you are the coroner and not me." He turned and walked away. Seconds later I swore I could hear him get sick behind his cruiser. Marshmallow.

I snapped on my white latex gloves and situated the god awful blue jump-suit I had to wear to clean up these messy deaths. I crouched down to get to work collecting the body, trying to be respectful to the remains all while remaining professional. It was a façade I was good at. Actors had nothing on me. I listened to Tanya and Sheriff Swan talk about how unfortunate the accident was, and couldn't help but smile to myself at my handy work. This one was a freebee for Alice. I loved that little, fucking insane, pixie.

"The roads are just so wet. Looks like she lost control here on the curve up there," I heard Sheriff Swan explain as he pointed seventy-five feet above his head, where a tree was dangling by the roots.

"Hey Cullen, how hard is it going to be to ID that body?" Tanya asked me. I looked up the length of her body, admiring her long slender legs, and smiled devilishly at her in that uniform, with the gun tucked into its holster. So fucking naughty!

"Looks like the only way this body is going to be identified are by dental records. Her fingertips are completely gone," I told her, even though I knew I had all the information they needed about the young woman.

Tanya bent down next to me, leaving her breasts eye level, perfect for staring. Her tits filled out her top nicely. I finally met her eyes and pictures of her tied to her bed flashed in mind. I loved that she could handle pain.

"I really need your 'services' tonight," Tanya said. She lowered her voice to a seductive breath. "It's been way too long."

"As soon as I get this mess cleaned up I will call you." I watched her raise from her knees slowly. It was such a turn on for me when a strong, beautiful woman lets me be in control. And Tanya, she loved me to take it to extremes.

Don't misunderstand, I am not some sort of dominate who likes to degrade his submissive. I do like to be in control, be kinky, rough, and I do like to slap asses while I fuck them. I have nothing against that lifestyle; I just don't have the patience for it. With my temper I may end up killing my sub if she misbehaved. It happened once, and I knew from previous experiences that you do _not_—never, ever—kill someone you personally know.

Cleaning up a body was monotonous; it was second nature to me—both from my official job, and my very _unofficial_, off the records, job. I couldn't help but think of Tanya and our relationship; nonexistent to everyone but us. She didn't cling; she didn't expect anything from me but sex.

I was going to ask Sheriff Swan to help move the body into the black bag that I had unzipped, but didn't want to end up with puke all over it. I could handle burnt flesh, open gashes, and spurts of blood. What I couldn't handle was vomit. Choosing to work with the dead had that one perk: there was no chance they will ever throw-up on me. Actually, working with the dead—and with the police—helped to cover my tracks. I'm not messy when it comes to one of my hits, but it was better when I know what the fuck I am doing.

It took no strength to maneuver her body into the bag. She was a small girl, but malevolent from the description Alice gave of her. Alice said that she came across as this innocent little girl, but she was "pure evil." I didn't care; tell me who to kill, pay me, and I will get the job done. Any time Emmett or Alice call, though, I do it for free. We bonded when we were younger, and my life would be like a black hole if it weren't for those fuckers.

Once I did manage to move all of the pieces of the body, I thought Sheriff Swan would be able to handle helping me to load the body into my van. At least I hoped so.

"How old do you suppose she was Edward?" Sheriff Swan asked me as he lowered to help lift the body bag.

"I don't know … early twenties is my best guess, why do you ask Sheriff Swan?"

"I have a little girl you know … just got married. Twenty four years old. I can't imagine this happening to her. You can call me Charlie, Edward. Seems I see you enough with all these accidents," he said as he helped me lift the fragile body; it was almost like she could crumble to dust. She was at the minimum melting.

Yes, I had been working very closely with Charlie. I gave him a reason to work. It's not like there was much crime in this small town. I try not to kill in Forks—or even near Forks—but when the money's right, I won't turn it down.

We gently placed the charred body in the back of the coroner van. I dropped out of that ridiculous blue jump-suit like it was on fire. I couldn't wait to get home, take a shower, and call Tanya. A release was coming. My pants strained under my instant boner. I shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, I will call you as soon as I have ID on our Jane Doe here," I told Charlie as I got into the van. Jane Doe, Jane Volturi; what was the difference?

The van rumbled down the twisty road, when suddenly my cell phone vibrated against my thigh, arousing my erection. I pulled the device from my pocket to see the familiar text from Jacob Black. Jake was my "boss" for all intents and purposes. He told me who to kill, when to kill them, and then paid me generously. Sometimes our clients, who ordered hits, were fucked-up enough to pay extra for me to go above and beyond, make them suffer. They particularly liked it when I terrorized their target with "urban legends." That was my specialty.

Jacob was part of my _other _family, along with my best friends. My adoptive parents were good, wholesome, people who were part of the charade I used to protect myself. I read Jacob's text message, which to anyone else, looked like two guys talking sports. "Seahawks need a better running back" always meant I got a new job for you. He always left the information about my next target at a rundown house we found in the woods.

That house contained its own wicked, twisted tale. Billy Black, Jacob's father, had too much to drink one night. Alice and Jacob had always been good buddies in high school. One night they went down to La Push to "shoot the shit" and ran into a very drunk and belligerent old man—Billy. Billy had pulled a gun and began waving it around. Jacob, being the noble man he once was, struggled with his father and accidently shot him in the leg. That was when the blood lust started. Jacob shot him a few more times just for fun, and Alice had such a rush of adrenaline that she kept asking him to shoot again.

Sick fucks.

That was when they called Emmett and me. We disposed of the body outside that rundown house, several feet underground. We were all changed that night. Months passed and we realized that we were going to get away with murder (or being accomplices to it). We liked it, we missed the rush. We needed it like a junkie needed another hit of meth.

To this day, the body of Billy Black still lies outside that shabby piece-of-shit in the woods. Jacob had become one ruthless mother-fucker. We all had.

"Shit, I could run faster than that tool," I texted back to let Jake know I was on it. Another code phrase. We were smart. We covered out trail. We mixed these kinds of messages up, though. We had to keep on the alert.

Alice and Emmett had joined the traveling carnival when they were twenty-two. We're all the same age: twenty-five. They seemed to enjoy all of the sick things they could do while traveling. When Alice has a vendetta, she calls me up. I take care of her; she was like my baby sister. Emmett was not one for the killing, but he loved to help plan. He always came up with some of the stupidest ideas ever. And they worked. Together, we made a devil squad of assassins. Each of us has our role to play—a pretense to keep up. From the outside we all looked weird, but not the crazy murderers we actually were.

Dammit, I couldn't get this body dropped off fast enough so I could get inside Tanya's fucking pussy. She wasn't quit tight, but she made up for it in stamina. My hard-on continued to grow and protest against my jeans as I drove through the small town to drop the body off at the morgue. Every time I killed someone, it made me horny as fuck. At this point, I didn't know if I was going to get to Tanya quick enough and I put the gas down to the floor.

As I pulled in to the mortuary, another text buzzed in my pocket. It was Tanya. "I'll be at my place when you are done." Good. She hadn't forgotten that I didn't want to have her over to my place. I avoided having women over, ever. Made it easier to get what I wanted and get the fuck out.

I texted her back. "Will be there in thirty … be ready and don't text me again or I'll just stay home and take care of business myself."

No response. Good girl. Tanya wasn't dumb. She benefitted as much as I did from our arrangement. At the mortuary, I quickly unloaded the body and put it in the cooler. The smell of burning flesh permeated the back of the van. I knew the cooler would be the same way in the morning when I came back to tend to Jane. I smirked to myself and the fact that every time I had barbecue, I would think of my victims like Jane.

I showered to rid myself of the film of death that clung to me. I pulled on some sweats because Tanya didn't care what I wore, only what was under it. Might as well be comfortable since I still was as hard as a rock.

Tanya's house was dark when I pulled in behind back. I always came late, left early, and parked where no one could see me. Her bedroom light was on. I wondered if she would be posed like she should. It had been a while. Maybe she would intentionally ignore my instruction, if she wanted a good spanking. My cock jumped at that thought.

The back door was unlocked. I took my shoes off and walked back to her bedroom. As I entered, I pulled my T-shirt off and took in the sight before me. Tanya was kneeling in the center of the bed, naked. She heard me come in and her eyes flicked up to meet mine. There was a flash of wickedness there and I knew that even if she looked sweet now, that wasn't what she wanted.

"Are you ready Tanya? I hope you are because there will be no fucking foreplay." I dropped my sweats and saw her look automatically at my erection. I knew she was ready. I just liked to see her body tremble when I said things like that to her.

"Yes, Edward."

"Then get the fuck over here." I had moved to the end of the bed. Tanya crawled over and made like she was going to put me in her mouth. I pulled back. "No, turn around." I wasn't in the mood to drag this out. Tanya looked up at me and whimpered.

"Please let me?"

"No bitch. Turn around." The moment she did I smacked her ass hard. Tanya moaned and leaned back towards me. I grabbed her hips and thrust into her in one move. As I had suspected, she was wet already.

My pace was fast and hard from the start. That was how I liked it. I spanked Tanya again and she dropped her head down as she cried out my name. I saw her hand move underneath herself. No doubt to play with her clit. She knew me well enough to know I wasn't in the mood to make sure she got off tonight.

Some nights I was feeling generous, and pleasured Tanya until she came so hard her eyes rolled back. But after a kill, it was all about me. I reached forward and wrapped my hand in her strawberry blond curls, pulling her head back towards me. My other hand grasped her breast and pulled hard on her nipple.

"Fuck, yes." Tanya was moaning and panting as her eyes met me over her shoulder. "Harder."

I pinched her nipple as I drove into her. The only sounds in the room were Tanya's voice and the slapping sound of our bodies colliding. My release was close, I could feel it. I leaned down and grunted in her ear. "I'm fucking going to come."

Tanya's body started to stiffen and spasm beneath me. She screamed, "God, Edward … shit." I held tight to her hips as her upper body collapsed onto the mattress as her climax took her. The feeling of her walls clamping down brought me to the edge. It was the thought of sending Jane's car over the cliff that took me over it.

"Fucking hell," I groaned as I came, my load pulsed from me and sent heat throughout every inch of my body. Fuck, I needed that. My body relaxed and pressed down into Tanya's. We lay there, breathing hard for a moment. I pulled out and stood up slowly.

Tanya rolled over and stretched. "Mmm. Thanks. What's the hurry? Don't you want to stay for another round?"

I shook my head. "Not tonight. Thanks for the offer babe. It's been a long day and I have an early start tomorrow."

Tanya frowned but knew better than to try and change my mind. "Well, don't be a stranger. I hope to see you sooner next time."

I shrugged. "We'll see. You aren't the only one on my speed dial, you know?" That hit the mark I wanted. Tanya glared at me. I smirked at her and chucked her under the chin. "Don't pout. It's not attractive. I'll see you soon enough."

I paused in the doorway and looked back at her again. "Oh, and wax before I see you next, doll."

As I left, I heard an angry growl of frustration from Tanya's room. But I knew that she would be back begging for more. They always did.

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_"The angel of death has been abroad throughout the land; you may almost hear the beating of his wings."—_John Bright

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**A/N:** Thanks for continuing our Hitward tale. We were so tickled by the responses from the prologue. Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews. We hope to hear from you-all again. Everyone who reviews will be sent a small preview of what's to come in the coming chapter. So, **PLEASE REVIEW! **(If you review w/o a FF account, we are sorry; there is no option for us to reply to your review. We still appreciate it.)

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended


	3. 2 Devil in Disguise

**Wicked Angel**

**2. Devil in Disguise**

_Now's your chance to run for cover._—Breaking Benjamin

* * *

"Fuck!" I muttered to myself. After letting myself in our run-down house in the woods, I immediately made my way into what was left of the bathroom. The sink was still intact, and Jake usually left any pertinent information regarding my next assignment taped in the cabinet underneath it. This time was different, though. Jake had informed me that I needed to go over things at his place, which meant this was a big-ass target that needed to be taken care of.

I was fucking tired and not in the mood for this shit. I mean, I had just successfully pulled off killing Jane for Alice, was the coroner for said death, then fucked Tanya's brains out. All I wanted to do was take a scalding hot shower and pass out in my bed. I wasn't in the mood to mince words with my boss, even though I knew this job would pay big, so there was nothing I could do. I had to suck it up and fucking deal with it.

I made it to Jake's in no time. He let me in after one knock.

"What the fuck took you so long, Cullen?" Jake barked, his face looking all constipated and shit. This must be some job for him to be pacing the floor waiting for me. _Impatient cocksucker_.

"I was dealing with Alice's shit. Then I had to clean it up…literally," I deadpanned, making myself comfortable on his black leather sofa. I leaned my head back threading my hand through my unruly hair.

"Yeah, and I know how long that takes, which means you must have stopped somewhere else afterwards," he paused as a creepy smile splayed on his face. "Tanya must have been on the case, huh? You little devil! You tapped that ass didn't you?" He asked, plopping down next to me, punching me in my shoulder and laughing. If he wasn't one of my closest friends, I would have killed him a long time ago.

"Of course I hit that. She was begging for my cock … they all do. How could I let her down?" I chuckled.

"Well, all I have to say is when the fuck are you going to let me in on some Leah action? I know you still hit that and she is one fine motherfucking piece of ass. I would tear her apart and enjoy every minute of it."

I gave him a pointed look that screamed, "_Watch it_." I don't fucking share my toys. However, if the price was right….

"Fine. At least let me just watch you fuck her one time?" Jake begged me, practically bouncing with anticipation at the idea.

"Dude, you are one sick puppy, you know that? I'll think about it. Now why don't we move on to more pressing matters, like why the fuck I am here instead of at home looking over my new assignment?" I grumbled, sitting up, waiting for him to hand the damn information over already.

He reached over to the side table, and pulled a manila envelope at least two inches thick. _Who the fuck was this person that needed to be brutally murdered?_

"Everything's in here," Jake said and tossed the file, which landed in my hands with a _thump_.

I unfastened the envelope and took out the papers for my perusal. Since I was gifted with a photographic memory, I only had to read the portfolio once for the information to be fused to my brain. I flipped through the mass of papers and photos, each new tidbit instantly being stored in my mental filing system, waiting to be pulled out at the right time.

The target in question was a woman named, Isabella Newton, age twenty-four. She had an impressive workup: graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Arizona, where she majored in Child Psychology, with a minor in Special Education. It was apparent that she loved working with kids, considering she volunteered her time during high school and college working as a candy striper in the children's cancer ward at Phoenix General Hospital. She grew up in Phoenix with her mom, Renée, and her step-father, Phil, who was some hot shot minor league ball player, awaiting his chance to be drafted into the majors. The target's parents had divorced when she was a baby; her mom took her to Arizona and never looked back.

She'd been married for a handful of months to a Mike Newton from right here in Forks. They met in Arizona, but moved to Forks shortly after the wedding, so that she could be close to her father, considering her mother was busy traveling on the road with her step-father. Seems the target was currently working part-time as an adolescent mental health counselor for a doctor's practice in Port Angeles, as well as being a teacher for emotionally disturbed children. Working with kids in a private school, where this was their last stop before juvie, took some balls and a hell of a lot of patience. I could only imagine if my friends and I were in her class. We would have definitely pushed her buttons until she split in two, quitting her job, or better yet, committing suicide. I surmised quickly that either this chick was a fierce bobcat, or was some weakling who had a death wish. I chuckled at my last thought. She shouldn't worry about the death wish … it was certainly going to be fulfilled.

Flipping to the end of the pile, I noticed there were a couple of photos attached. The target was pretty cute to look at, nothing overly sexy about her. I could tell she wasn't my usual type—she looked way too innocent, but there was something about her eyes that made me stare at her face in the photo a little too long for my liking and I didn't appreciate the way it was making me feel. Abruptly, shuffling the photo under the others, I stole a glance at the next picture. It was one of her wedding day and she was standing next to her father who was dressed in a tux. He looked oddly familiar. Upon further observation, I realized that I knew this fucker … rather well. _What the…_

My head shot up, making eye contact with Jake. The look splashed on my face must have given me away because he appeared to be a little nervous, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck and his one knee jerking up and down, which was very uncharacteristic of him.

"Now you see why I had to give you the assignment in person?" he questioned, sounding apologetic.

"Why the fuck does this Mike guy want to kill her for? I mean, does this dipshit know _who_ her father is?" I spat, throwing the contents of the file on the coffee table, splaying the papers about. "This is way too close to home, Jake."

"Yeah, I know, but you've killed people with these connections before. Why are you so angry and reluctant this time?"

"Uh, I realize that, asshole. But those particular jobs were out of state … and way out of my jurisdiction." I shook my head and rested my elbows on my knees before I spoke again. "Listen, _dude_, it's not the killing of this chick that bothers me, it's the fact that one tiny slip-up, and I'm done … finished. You do realize all the press and scrutiny this will generate, right? All eyes will be on this case with a fucking fine-toothed comb. I have busted my ass way too hard to get where I am today and I'm not about to sacrifice that all because some dildo wants to off his wife and doesn't have the nuts to do it himself."

"Hmm, when you put it like that, I guess we're all in jeopardy if you fuck up. So, here's some sound advice: don't fuck this one up and it'll be all good." Jake grinned.

God, I really wanted to take a bat to that fat head of his and smash it until there were nothing left but mangled chunks of brain with white shards from his skull mixed in. He was such a fucking idiot sometimes; it was a wonder that he was in charge of this whole operation the four of us had going. What was he thinking when he accepted Mike's request to meet with him? Jake's turned down offers before, so why not now? Why this particular job?

"Jake, why did you accept this job? Why didn't you tell Mike 'no' because it was way too risky?" I had to ask him, the curiosity was eating away at my insides. I didn't like this one bit.

"Because, my dear friend," he started, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Think of the intense rush you are going to get from killing the Sheriff's daughter and getting away with it. Shit, I'm kinda jealous that you get to do the killing. Alice and Emmett are going to flip, too. Just imagine all the awesome planning and surveillance we are in for. The psychic and the strong man are going to have to leave the circus for a while and come home for this one. We need our entire brain-power close by for this job."

The thought of having the four of us back together in the same town got my blood pumping again. I missed Alice and Emmett, and I wanted them to feel the rush of planning to kill Isabella Newton. This was going to be biggest murder we had ever planned and executed. If I wasn't sitting next to Jake, that thought would have made me hard. However, I certainly did not want my friend to get any ideas, so I kept my feelings in check. It was odd enough that he wanted to watch me fuck some girl in his presence.

A knock at the door brought me out of my reverie as Jake bolted toward it, thrusting the door open. _He was so god damned dramatic_. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

Jake arranged for Mike to have a chat with us about his wife. I was always a little curious as to why our clients wanted to kill the person they hired us to murder, but in this instance, I really wanted to understand why Mike wanted his wife, Sheriff Swan's daughter, to disappear from the earth.

Mike trudged in behind Sam, Seth, and Paul, who happened to play the side role of henchmen to Jake. They grew up with Jake on the reservation and were like brothers to him. They went underground and helped spread the word to the right people about Jake's little side business. Sam, Seth, and Paul generated a lot of business for me, Jake, Alice, and Emmett. The four of them owned a motorcycle shop in town and were fiercely loyal to one another, which was why I was able to trust them with my life.

One glimpse at Mike Newton and I deduced that he was a complete and utter tool. He was so unkempt looking; he was trying to go for the scruffy bad boy look, but his stubble just looked straggly and shit, not even filling his face properly. He was completely disheveled, and I wondered where on earth he got the funds to pay for this job. Normally, our clientele was more put together. This guy was a joke.

Feeling a little too concerned, I cornered Sam in the kitchen as we got some beers out of Jake's fridge. I wanted to know more about Mike Newton before I spoke to him myself. It was imperative to always have the upper hand in this line of business. They needed to fear and question us, not the other way around. Sam proceeded to inform me about Mike and how he was fucking some girl on the side and fell in love with her in a matter of a couple of months. He knew it was a mistake to marry his current wife because he's never been faithful to her, even when they were just dating. He thought that marriage would make him quit his cheating ways, but it only fueled him further; he'd fuck anything that had a pussy. That is, until he met his current whore. He'd been with her for four months and wanted to marry her and get her far away from Forks.

Paul and Seth sauntered into the kitchen, both leaning against the granite countertop. I had asked where they met Mike. They told me through a buddy of theirs, Jared, who works with Mike at the _Super A_ grocery store in town. Mike works in the produce section as an assistant manager and has been trying to work his way up the supermarket ladder, but to no avail. He keeps getting passed over for various managerial positions he's applied for. Jared felt sorry for him one night and asked Mike if he wanted to play some cards with his friends.

Mike accepted the offer not realizing he was being taken to an underground gambling ring which Sam, Seth, and Paul ran on the side. Mike ended up getting addicted to gambling, pissing his shit paycheck away while his wife made all the money. He was trying to win a ton of money so he could run off and leave his wife, but according to Paul, this guy was a real loser in every way. Poor sucker never won a game. After a couple of months, he added booze to the mix and started airing his dirty laundry at these games, speaking about how he wished he could leave his wife, but needed her money. Two weeks ago, Mike won big in his first game. By the time the night was over, Seth had said Mike had amassed roughly around fifty thousand dollars. He was still bitching about his wife and had added that he wished she were dead. So, Paul had suggested our services and Mike jumped at the chance.

That's how I was sitting across from him now, assessing his situation. Mike was so nervous being in our presence that I saw how badly his hands shook as he reached in his jacket pocket for a cigarette. Once he plopped the filter in his mouth, I spoke up.

"Don't even think about lighting up in here. I don't want to fucking smell like you."

"Oh, sorry man. Yeah I-I'll put it away," Mike cowered, shoving the cigarette back into the box.

"So, let's just cut to the bullshit and tell me why you want me to kill Sheriff Swan's daughter." I wanted this meeting over with already so I could start planning this shit out. I was getting bored and impatient sitting here.

"Right. Well, as you know, I am in love with someone else and we want to get the fuck out of this town and start our life together," Mike began.

"Why not just divorce her and be done with her?" I asked, rather irritated over his reason. Don't get me wrong, I got off from the opportunity to kill, but Mike's excuse was so flimsy. It was probably because he was a pussy.

"Well, Lauren and I need money to leave, and since we both have shitty jobs, we don't have the funds needed to make a fresh start."

"You don't have enough money to flee the state, but you have enough money to hire a team to kill your wife? You make absolutely no sense, dude. You do understand that your father-in-law is the police chief and a very well revered man of this town, right? I'm gonna need a little more from you here."

Mike started to fidget. _Ah, seems I struck a nerve with the douchebag._

"Jesus, I know that! That asshole Swan has never liked me. Even tried to convince Bella not to marry me, but he can't say 'no' to his baby girl. She is very close to her father and it makes me sick! He's always trying to butt into our business, making sure Bella is provided for … blah, blah, blah ... I wish I had enough money to have him killed, too! Are you gonna take this job or what?" Mike spat at me, with a little too much attitude for my liking. I started inching up from my seat, ready to pounce on this motherfucker. I'd kill this fucker for free.

Sensing my rising anger, Jake stepped in. "Whoa, hold on there, Mike! Watch it! You do not give us orders, you hear me, asshole? You have no fucking clue who you are dealing with here!" he yelled, pointing in my direction. The scared little puppy look on Mike's face was priceless; all I could do was smirk at him. Fuck killing his wife; I was going to kill him … maybe both.

Clearing his throat, Mike decided to speak again adding more information this time, "Listen, Sheriff Swan made Bella take out a two million dollar life insurance policy about a year ago. I think he wanted Bella to plan ahead for any future children she would have, making sure they were properly taken care of after she was gone, since he doesn't have much faith in me. Anyway, I am obviously the beneficiary, so I get the money when she dies. Two million dollars is a nice chunk of change to start a new life with Lauren."

"Well, now we're getting somewhere, Mikey," I taunted the fucker, practically willing him to say something stupid again so I could lay him out. I got up from my seat and grabbed the manila envelope. "Okay, I'm in. From here on out, you never contact me, got it? I'm sure you are aware of what my day job is and who I work closely with, which makes this assignment risky enough as it is. Don't go showing up at my place of work, don't even try calling there. And don't question how long this is going to take, because this job is going to take a while in order for it to be executed efficiently and effortlessly. So, we're talking months here. Any pertinent information gets relayed through Jake and only Jake. He'll tell you how to get a hold of him. In the meantime, I'm going to go the fuck home."

Grasping the doorknob and turning it slightly, I looked over my shoulder to ask Mike one final question. "Say, Mike, your little chick on the side, Lauren. Her last name isn't Mallory by any chance, is it?" I knew where I was going with this.

A look of surprise took over Mike's features as he answered me. "Yeah, it is. She works over at Leah's salon as the receptionist. Why?"

"Oh, no reason," I said cryptically. "Do me a favor. Tell Lauren I said, 'Hi.'" I finished and winked at him, chuckling as I opened Jake's front door to leave. As I stepped into the hallway, I heard Mike question what I meant by what I had just said. Visions of Leah and Lauren sucking me off at the same time danced around in my head. Ah, what a night that was. Lauren was a pretty good lay, too. I was surprised that she would want to be with someone like Mike when she had been with me. Whatever. She wasn't my problem anymore. Thank god I cut that bitch lose … whiny, needy little thing.

*~*~

It took two days to immerse myself in this new assignment and to get my head into the game. Since Alice had a vision of receiving the new target information from Jake, she informed him when he called that she and Emmett had already requested some much needed time off. They were due to come home for a while anyway. Travel arrangements were being made and I couldn't be more excited for my friends to come home. I needed Emmett's input on the target's pending demise. He usually came up with the appropriate urban legend to reenact while Alice supplied us with the knowledge of whether or not we were going to be able to pull it off.

In the meantime, I was beginning the surveillance part of the job. It was imperative, especially in assignments as big as this. I got to know the ins and outs of my target, and I wanted to know everything about them without actually having to come into contact with them. It was my cardinal rule: never, ever speak with the target. Sure, I've made my little blunders in the past, but I have had years to perfect my performance. There was no margin for error in killing Sheriff Swan's daughter. None. We were fucked if any of us made a single mistake.

So here I was, waiting in my car, parked in the corner of the _Port Angeles Medical Center _waiting to catch a glimpse of the target in the flesh for the first time. I knew her daily schedule and was pleased to learn that she belonged to the same gym as I did. She went there to work out every morning. This could get very interesting.

I had been waiting here for over an hour for her to come out the damn door. Her last patient was at eight fifteen. I had called, disguising my voice, asking if there was room for my son to see Mrs. Newton as a new patient. The receptionist then gave me the days and hours in which she worked. Perfect.

The target's car was parked two rows ahead of me. I made sure that there were some cars parked between us, so I wouldn't be noticed. I leaned over to retrieve some gum from my glove compartment when I spotted the target. She had exited the building, walked toward her car with a purpose, a swagger about her, which made her wavy brown hair sway from side to side with each step she took. It was when she stopped in front of her vehicle, coming into my clear line of vision that my breathing stopped altogether. The parking lot light shone like a spotlight casting down on her, creating a halo of light around her. I still couldn't get a clear visual on her face, but I could tell her body was hot and tight, and I was most certainly enjoying the view from where I was sitting. Those jeans she was wearing hugged her curves in the most delicious ways. That black leather jacket looked so fucking sexy on her. She was all buttoned up, looking as though she were ready to ride on a motorcycle instead of driving in a car. I loved women who wore black leather. My dick felt the same way as it began to sprout to life. She was rummaging around in her purse, no doubt looking for her keys. After she fished them out, she walked to the driver's side door and stopped, looked down and shook her head. She looked pissed. She yanked her cell phone out of her jacket pocket and dialed a number.

I cracked my window down a little so I could hear what she was saying. The front left tire of her car was flat and she was calling Mike for some assistance. From the way she was speaking, it seemed as though her husband wasn't going to come help her out. I knew that guy was a pussy.

"What do you mean you can't come now? What the hell are you doing?" she snipped into the phone, pacing in front of the car. I liked her for talking to Mike the way she was.

"What … no, I can't call Jasper or Rosalie! They are in Texas visiting their parents. You would have known that if you came out to dinner with us the night before they left," she sneered to her husband. Oh, yes, she was a bobcat and she wasn't going to deal with Mike's bullshit excuses. It's a shame I couldn't fuck her before I killed her. Hmm … maybe….

"Seriously, Mike. You're really going to leave me to fend for myself in a dark parking lot with a flat tire? You are such an asshole for not renewing our _AAA _Membership!"

She paused listening to that fucker.

"Please, Mike," she seemed to calm down, possibly trying a different approach. "I have no clue how to change a tire and the gas stations are closed by now."

Her voice was so soft and pleading, it caused my stomach to clench. I felt sort of bad for her. How could Mike resist this woman? Shit, even I felt compelled to help his wife, but that would mean I would have to speak with her, Isabella, and I shouldn't do that. I couldn't do that … could I?

Jesus, what was it about this woman that had me contemplating making a terrible blunder that could cost my friends and me everything? The draw to her was hypnotic.

"Fine … okay. I'll wait in the car until you call … an hour? Yeah, I'll try Angela … yup … bye."

The look on her face was so pained, my body actually ached to be near her and comfort her. What the fuck? Why was I so affected?

Before I could answer my own questions, or even stop myself, I was getting out of my car, sauntering over to where Isabella was crouching, assessing the damage of the tire.

"Excuse me," I started in a soft, tentative voice. I didn't want to frighten her. _What the fuck? I didn't want to frighten her? What was I…some pansy? _I mentally chastised myself and was about to turn and walk away when Isabella's eyes captured mine, firmly planting my feet to the ground. All I could do was stare into those soulful brown eyes … the same eyes I observed in the picture that had stunned me into a strange trance a few days ago. Except this time, I let my eyes roam and soak up her features. She was so beautiful and fragile-looking, like some expensive porcelain doll. She was absolutely breathtaking and I had no idea why I had ever thought this woman was merely cute and not overtly sexy.

"That looks pretty bad," I said, pointing to the flat. Do you have a spare?" I asked Isabella, smiling down at her.

"Um, yeah. It's in the trunk." Isabella was sizing me up, no doubt wondering if I was some crazy attacker. _Oh, if she only knew…._

"Well, I would be more than happy to offer some assistance. Changing a tire can be a real bitch."

She chuckled. "Really? I wouldn't know. Never changed a tire before. I would love the help. No one was able to come and help me."

She shot up too quickly, causing her to lose her equilibrium and wobble, almost falling backwards. I reached out and grabbed her forearms, immediately feeling some type of electric charge course through my body. Pulling Isabella in my direction, she seemed to be just as transfixed with me as I was with her. _Could she have felt it too? _Yeah, I was fucked. I had already broken my one cardinal rule. What the fuck else was next?

"Thanks," she offered simply. "You're like my savior tonight, like some angel who just appeared out of nowhere ready to help those in need." Then Isabella flashed a big toothy smile and I was a goner. I felt like the Grinch—my heart growing three sizes too big and shit, threatening to explode out of my chest.

Like I said … I was fucked. I never wanted to be the kind of angel she just described. But for Isabella, maybe I wanted to be.

* * *

_"...but we all are men, in our own natures frail, and capable of our flesh; few are angels..."__  
_William Shakespeare, King Henry VIII

* * *

**A/N**: Wow! We are excited that so many have already become hooked on our Hitward tale. Thank you to those who review. Always, we appreciate your opinions and kind words. Of course, those who review will receive another preview or snippet of the coming chapter. So, **PLEASE REVIEW! **(If you review w/o a FF account, we are sorry; there is no option for us to reply to your review. We still appreciate it.)

Thank you BreezyBri for her wonderful help in Beta-ing this chapter.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	4. 3 Fallen Angel

**Wicked Angel**

3. Fallen Angel

_I don't want to change the world__  
__I just want to leave it colder_—Breaking Benjamin

* * *

It hadn't rained in two days, a goddamned miracle for this rainy state. The streets were bathed in fog. The night pressed in all around me, but it didn't bother me. I liked the languid nightfall—it was where I belonged, really. There were a few bugs zipping and zinging around the light overhead like psychotic hummingbirds. Isabella was sitting cross-legged on the faded grey pavement, her back against the driver's side door, with a look of concentration on her face as she absorbed the scene before her. Though her face was cast in shadow, her eyes reflected the dim light in the parking lot. Her gaze was steady and unfaltering. I felt amazingly self-conscious, a feeling I was not used to.

_You're a fucking idiot_, I chided myself. _You should have just stayed in your truck. _

She had called me an angel. A word I had never heard—and would probably never hear again—to describe me. I was more like a fallen angel, here to cause chaos and destruction. Just like Lucifer, the ultimate fallen angel, the one who was considered a "light-bearer" and a "Morning Star." A star gone wrong, a light diminished. That was me.

As I assembled the tools necessary to change Isabella's tire, my mouth continued to open and close, like a goldfish out of water. Questions continued to bubble their way up and I just had to keep swallowing them back down. I probably looked like the fucking idiot I felt like.

I crouched next to her. "I'm Edward, by the way." That was simple enough, courteous. I stood to grab one more thing from her trunk.

"Thanks for your help, Edward. I'm Bella."

_Bella_ … I liked it.

I "liked" her name? I briefly hid behind the door to her trunk so she wouldn't see the stupid grin on my face.

"Are you married?" I asked before my mouth-to-brain filter could stop me. Of course she was married—I knew she was married. And for two seconds, a pang of jealousy hit me that Mike Newton, prick of the century, and not me, could have his hands all over Bella. Like I was so deserving myself. _Fucktard._ My hand automatically came up to smack myself in the head, and in the attempt, I tried to wipe the "you have a cute name" look off my face. It might have been mixed with the "you are the stupidest human alive" look that I was internally giving myself.

I returned to her side and began to jack the car up, my back to her. She didn't say anything for several lengthy seconds. As the car lifted off the ground, she finally sighed and said, "Yeah." She sounded … exhausted? Unhappy? _Lonely_?

I froze for a moment, trying to understand the tone of her answer. And really, why the fuck should I care? Maybe I should just kill her now before I fuck this up anymore. Hit her with the wrench, shove her in my truck, and bury her next to Billy. I mean, she hadn't told anyone we'd met, and surely no one had seen us together. But they might have, and that stopped me short. Or maybe it was the smell of vanilla wafting off her skin as the wind shifted directions.

_No mistakes,_ I ordered to myself. _Too late now, I've already made too many mistakes. _

Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed a frightened kitten stare on her face; her bottom lip was tucked under her upper teeth, almost as if she were scared she did something wrong. For some reason, my eyes couldn't move from her bitten lip. She must have noticed my staring because she let it go and blushed. She fucking blushed. I was fucked, so royally and irrevocably fucked.

"You don't sound too happy about that," I noted dryly and turned back to her flat tire. I got back to work, though I was thoroughly distracted now. Bella was quiet next me, and it was driving me insane not knowing what was going on in that head of hers. The monster inside me growled at my idiocy. It's best if she doesn't talk to me anymore than she has. I'm already breaking rule number-fucking-one.

Then, she fucking sniffled. I tensed, unsure what to do with a crying girl. Was she crying? Did _I_ make her cry? _What the fuck, Cullen? Get your act together!_ I snapped at myself.

Being the gentleman that I am, I ignored it and continued to work, taking off each lug nut. On the last one, I heard Bella shift beside me and her shoe scraped across the asphalt. I shot her a sideways glance, a move I never should have done.

She was beautiful, even with the single, glittering tear that had escaped her shining brown eyes. The depths widened when I honed in on her face and she wiped away the evidence swiftly. "I-I'm sorry. You're a total stranger just being helpful; you don't need any of my drama."

Helpful? If she only fucking knew.

"It's all right, Bella," I tried to reassure her. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm just here to fix your tire." _What the fuck was that?_ "_I'm just here to fix your tire?" _She fucking sniffled again. Why did that bother me so much? Well, of course, normally it would bother me and I would snap "get the fuck over it, bitch." But I wanted to … comfort her. Say something supportive. Instead, the inner dumbass in me said, "Was that who you were on the phone with, your husband?"

Oh shit. That was a mistake. A big one.

_GODDAMMIT!_ I was such a fucking idiot. Now she was going to know that I was listening to her conversation … watching her … _stalking_ her. Oh fuck. I was afraid to turn around to see what her reaction was to that question.

"I saw you in your truck," she admitted. "Did you hear that whole conversation?" She sniffed again, seemingly unfazed.

She fucking saw me watching her. When Jacob finds out about this….

"Oh, uh," I stumbled on my words; that was a first. "I wasn't trying to pry, I was just …" _stalking you?_ "I noticed your car had a flat tire, so I stayed to make sure whoever owned the car wasn't stuck here. Then I saw you leave the building and the rest is history."

_Smooth, Cullen_.

Slowly, I turned to gauge her reaction. A tiny smile had graced her lips. "That was really kind of you."

"Oh, yeah, no problem." I frowned and turned back to what I was doing. I pulled her tire off and put the spare on and started tightening the bolts in a star pattern. Her gaze was just as steady as before, watching my every move like she was waiting for me to do something exciting, perhaps start juggling the tools? Or maybe sprout wings and fly away. I kind of wished that would happen right about now.

"So what are you doing outside of the medical center?" she asked before she gasped and put her hands over her mouth. "I'm sorry, that really is none of my business." Her voice was muffled. "I should have known better than to ask a question like that. What was I thinking and …" she rambled on quickly.

I tightened the last bolt, dropped the car back on the ground, stood, and walked over to her, offering my hand to her. She stopped her million-mile-an-hour speaking. The "Cullen Finesse" was back. "Actually, I've been sitting outside here for part of the day considering going inside to get counseling."

"Counseling?"

_You are not about to say what I think you are about to say, are you, Cullen, seriously?_

"Yeah. You see, I'm the coroner for Forks, and I also work in a funeral home part-time. Family business." _Just give her your fucking address, her time of death, and your GPS tracking device and call it a day._ "I think my jobs are getting to me, ya know, with all of the dead bodies?" But in a good way.

She hadn't let go of my hand, and I noticed a pleasant sensation coursing through my body at her touch. Such a simple hand-to-hand contact and she had me begging for more. "Well," she paused for a second, thoughts clouding behind her eyes, "_I'm_ a counselor. I usually just work with troubled teens, but if you are interested in speaking with someone …" she stopped. "I'm sorry, I've crossed a line. I shouldn't have said anything." How many times has she apologized to me?

"No, it's okay Bella. Do you have a card or something?" Shit, shit, shit.

She gave me a full-blown smile and let go of my hand. I considered keeping it for a second but let go. She rummaged through her purse to hand me a dog-eared business card. "Call _anytime_." And though she was married, I could hear the longing in her voice. Did she want me as badly as I wanted to bend her over the hood of her car? What the fuck? I'm screwed.

"Thanks," I said softly. I was turning into a fucking pussy. I whirled around, picked up her flat tire, threw it in her trunk with more force than necessary, and slammed it shut. "You're all set. Have a safe trip home." _Go away, please. _I'm never going to hear the end of this from Alice. _Just go and forget this ever happened. _

A smile was playing on her lips and I couldn't help it, I returned her smile with my own. She already had me by the balls.

She slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. Too soon, she was off and down the road, leaving me standing in the parking lot with the cheesiest fucking grin on my face. Just me and the street light with the demented fucking moths.

I had become completely unhinged.

Realizing I was now alone, I jogged back to my truck and hopped in, hesitant to start it up. If I left, I could probably forget this whole transaction … which was why I was debating starting the truck. I sighed and quickly got the fuck out of there before I was spotted and this mission turned to dust.

I'd already fucked up with this project more than I'd ever done before, and that's saying something. Edward Cullen doesn't fuck up … in fact, I'm so good at my job, I'd never, ever been close to being caught. Come to think of it, it's probably why we kept doing this shit. Besides the rush that came out of planning and executing, knowing that we were fucking smarter than the police force out there, was what gave us the incentive to keep going.

_It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt…._

I shook my head to try to clear it as I parked my truck and made my way inside my house. I hadn't thought of what Esme used to say to us as kids in such a long while … I really needed some sleep. A good night's rest, some coffee in the morning, and I could put this whole incident behind me.

I crashed as soon as I walked into my bedroom, not even bothering to change or shower. I figured I had time to do it in the morning.

The sound of my cell phone ringing woke me up just as I had closed my eyes. _What the fuck?! I swear, unless someone is goddamn bleeding on the fucking floor and there's a bucket of popcorn, there will be hell to pay…._

"What."

"Well, good morning to you too, sleepy head."

"Morning?" I glanced over at my alarm and it was indeed morning … eight a.m., to be exact. "Fuck, it feels like I just fell asleep."

"Eh, surveillance will do that to you," Alice quipped.

The night before came back to me then, Bella and her beautiful chocolate hair and eyes … her brilliant smile … her soft voice … that one lonely tear…

"Edward? Hello, are you there?"

"Yeah. I told you, I just woke up. I'm still a bit out of it."

"Hmm … that's dangerous in our line of work buddy. Snap out of it."

"Why the hell are you calling me anyway? Don't you have someone's future you should be seeing? Predicting their time of death and all? Scaring the living shit out of them?"

Her tinkling laughter made me smile in spite of myself. I could never stay mad at her for long, and she knew that.

"No, I finally made it home. Well, Emmett and I did. We're here and we want to see you."

I rubbed my face and yawned. "Sure, come on over. If I don't answer the door, let yourself in. I'll probably be getting ready."

"Will do. Oh Edward, I can't wait to see you! It's been way too long!"

I laughed. "It's only been a couple of weeks, Alice."

"No, it's been months, dickhead. Nice to see how time flies without me."

I literally heard her pout over the phone and had to smile to myself. Alice and I had always been close, and hearing her now, I missed her more than ever. This was a good kill for us to be together again; the dream-team, the death-squad, the kill and chill.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," I snapped. "Stop trying to start a fuckin' fight with me. You know I'd just win and make you get down on all fours so I can ram your tight ass."

I heard her make some kind of sick, vomiting noises and she replied, "Please, I wouldn't ride that train if it were the last one leaving the station. I'd just as soon become a lesbian." She paused. "Or please myself."

"Lesbianism. Now there's a thought…" I chuckled as I heard her yell some more obscenities at me. I knew I had to cut her off … my bladder couldn't hold out much longer. "Look, are you coming or not? Get off the fucking phone, grab Emmett, and bring your asses over here."

"Fine. I'll be there in fifteen. Love you."

I sighed. "Love you back."

I hung up and realized the toilet and shower were calling my name. After peeing for what felt like an hour, my feet dragged me over to the shower and I turned on the hot water, undressed quickly, and jumped in. If Alice said she'd be here in fifteen, then she'd be here in fifteen. She would know.

The hot shower felt unbelievably good and helped wake me up. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only fucking thing to wake up. My dick was throbbing, needing another release, which I knew wouldn't be any fucking time soon. I grabbed my dick and started stroking a bit, touching the head as it strained under the water. The feeling intensified as I pictured Bella, in her leather jacket, kneeling down in front of me, taking me in her hot mouth. I imagined my hand circling into her hair, pounding my dick into her, as she sucked me off….

"Stop fucking jacking off in there, moron. It's rude when you have guests!"

My hand stilled as I groaned, realizing that my fantasy was over … for now.

"Fuck Alice, can't you let a guy jack off in peace?"

"No, now get out here before I send in Emmett after you."

Just the thought of Emmett being in the same room with me while I was naked sent my dick into deflation mode.

"You know, you could be a good friend and lend a hand…"

"Sick, perverted fuck. Get your ass in the living room."

I threw open the shower curtain and saluted her. "Yes ma'am."

Her eyes darted down to my cock and she smirked. "Wow, I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off yet." She left before I could respond.

Alice and I joked around with one another a lot. In fact, out of the three of them, Alice was the one I trusted the most. I'd do anything for her, and she for me. At one point, our feelings started feeling fuzzy … like we should've been something more, but that turned out horribly wrong. One night, we tried to have sex, to see where it could go … and it went nowhere fast. My dick wasn't cooperating and she was as fucking dry as the desert. Needless to say, the relationship was over after that fiasco, but our friendship remained intact.

I walked out into the room, fully dressed, and grabbed for the file on Isabella that I'd left on my desk … which was no longer there. _Damn Alice._

Emmett sat on my couch and Alice sat on the loveseat, perusing the pictures and info she had on Isabella.

"You shouldn't leave this lying around, asshole. Coffee is right next to you."

I smirked as I made my way over to Emmett. "Hey man, how's the carnie life treating you?"

We low-fived and then he shrugged. "Eh, same old, same old, you know? Still getting plenty of bitches to come see Emmett the Strong Arm in my trailer after the shows."

"Yeah, he had three in there with him the other night, bunch of whores…."

I smiled at Alice as I lifted her up and gave her a hug, kissing her on the forehead in the process. "Nice to see you too, munchkin."

She smiled back, sat down, and continued going over the documents. I knew why they were here, but I wasn't ready to talk about Isabella yet. Or should I say, Bella?

"What the hell could you be doing with three bitches in your trailer?"

Emmett's smile broadened. "Oh dude, it was FANTASTIC! You should've been there!"

I rose up an eyebrow wondering what the fuck was up with these guys and wanting me to join them in their fuck fests….

"Not like that, fucker. I meant that I would've shared one with you. It was amazing though. Two of them were eating each other out, really getting into it, while the other one was busy swallowing up my cock. I wasn't mean though, I let them all switch out with each other so they could each have a turn on this amazing carnival ride."

I heard Alice make a noise that made it seem like she was disgusted and I whistled low. "Wow, sounds like a great time. Wish I could've had me some of that…"

"Well, don't. I'm just glad you haven't gotten as bad as Emmett. At least you haven't had more than one girl at a time."

"How do you know … fuck, never mind. Stupid, all-knowing pixie."

"You couldn't lie to me even if you wanted to."

"So, have you two thought about leaving the carnival yet?"

They both shook their heads.

"Of course not. Well, I wish you'd come back. Jake has a couple of his buddies giving us fucking assignments. That was how we ended up with that one." I pointed to the folder in Alice's hands. "When it was just the four of us, and you used to tell us who wanted to hire a hit man, life was simpler. I'm not sure if I can trust these douches Jake's got around. You'll see once you read the information in that folder."

Alice nodded. "Well, tell me about her." Her finger pointed to that same picture of Isabella that I had been entranced with before. Again, I stared at it for a bit too long and as my eyes made their way back to Alice, hers narrowed a bit.

I knew, for a fact, that I couldn't hide things from Alice for long—which was one of the reasons why I was dreading this encounter with her. Not only did she know me too well, but she could see the fucking future. As soon as I made up my mind to do something, she knew … and because of how close we were, she was even more in tune with me than with anyone else.

It fucking sucked ass.

"There's not much to tell. All the info is in the pack and I'm sure that Jacob has let you in on why he wants you guys here. It's a big job."

"Yeah, it is. I can see why he called us … one fucking screw up and this whole plan can go up in smoke." She eyed me as she said it, and I made sure to look her dead on. I didn't want her to think I'd pussied out or that I wasn't sure. It was my job to be sure.

Emmett's voice brought us out of our stare down. "Did you meet him? This Mike Newton? What's he like?"

"He's a fucked up asshole who wants his wife dead for money. One of the biggest pussies I've ever met."

He nodded. "Is she a bitch?"

"Who?"

"Isabella. Did she do something…"

I let out a disgusted sigh. Of course not; bitch and Isabella were two things that didn't go together. "No, no more than just marrying the wrong man. She's worth two million if she's dead."

He nodded. "Hell, I'd kill her too, for two mil. I can always buy me another whore."

I felt anger surge inside of me out of nowhere and before I could stop myself I snapped back. "She isn't a whore; in fact, she's a pretty decent human being. She works with troubled teens at the medical building downtown … has a degree in counseling and shit."

Emmett's eyes widened at my outburst. "Okay, damn, calm the fuck down. I didn't mean it like that. I meant that it's what I would personally do … nothing against her. But Edward, you do realize you're going to kill her, right?"

I took a deep breath as the blood drained from my face. I needed to reign myself in if I wanted to pass for being "normal" … whatever the fuck that means.

"Yes, of course. I'm not stupid. It's just that, usually, the people I kill had it coming in one way or another … Isabella just married the wrong man."

"Regardless," Alice jumped in, "Jacob agreed to it and Mike's willing to pay. We have to see it through. All our minds must be focused for this to work. It's a huge job, the biggest kill we've ever done. No mistakes." Alice's tone was final. She was giving me no leeway on this job. I shouldn't expect her to; I wouldn't if it were the other way around.

I nodded as we talked a bit more. Bella had no children, which made it a shitload easier for us, as there would be no messy ties left. She didn't have any brothers or sisters … her mom and dad was the only family she had left.

"Okay, let's talk about the kill." Emmett's mind was already working to generate plausible executions. I ran my hand through my hair, hoping we could've saved this for later. "What are your thoughts? Car accident? Fire? Burglary victim?"

I closed my eyes as I thought about those. All of them were horrific … all of them would be painful. If she had to die, I could make it so she felt no pain….

"No. There are stipulations with her life insurance. It can't be a suicide, so that's out of the question. So is murder."

"What? There are actual policies out there that will prohibit the money for murder?! That's outrageous!" Emmett's frustration was not lost on me. I knew he was hoping to have this one be bloody.

"No, that's smart." Alice absentmindedly tapped the picture in front of her. "And Edward's right. We can't go about this in our usual way. The kill needs to be successful _and_ we need to make sure Mike gets his insurance money. Her father, Sheriff Swan, examined the policy himself. He knows how people can be twisted when it comes to money … he made sure the policy would only pay out if the death was purely accidental. In other words, no foul play can be suspected."

"So, a car accident. We make it so she gets hit head-on by a drunk driver."

I sighed as I walked around. This was beyond frustrating. "And where the hell are we going to get a fucking drunk driver, Emmett? We can't pay someone off; it's too risky. And I'm not willing to put our lives on the line either. We only have one shot at this."

"Then what do you suggest?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Poison maybe? We can put in tainted fish with her food or something. Something that makes her deadly sick."

Alice smiled. "Not bad … but we don't know anything about poisons. We'd have to research…"

"I can do it." Hell, I'd probably be the only one of us to have enough patience to sit in a library to read. I'd been doing it for as long as I remembered. Books had always been a constant in my life, something I enjoyed doing. If anyone could do this, it would be me.

"What about cyanide poisoning? That would be so cool!"

I rolled my eyes. "Em, cyanide poisoning burns the throat as it's ingested, causing an excruciating death. The person would be suffocating and burning to death."

"Exactly!"

"And what part of 'no foul play' didn't you understand?"

"Okay, okay. Fuck! This is the crime of the fucking century and we're not going to be able to do it with style. It fucking sucks! Such a waste."

I quickly put away all the items dealing with Bella. I didn't want to spend the day talking about killing her, plotting away at her death, so carefree. We spent the remainder of the afternoon watching TV and eating pizza. When the time hit seven thirty, Alice got up.

"We should go before Em falls asleep on your couch. It was a long way to get here and I'm still pretty tired. Come on Em."

He got up and they made their way to the door. "So, you going to look into the poisons and shit?"

"Yeah, I'll go tonight. Might as well start somewhere."

He nodded and made his way out to the street. Alice followed but stopped, turning to me.

"Edward … do you remember when we started this all those years ago … what we said to each other?"

My eyes tightened as I replied. "Yeah, we said that we'd all better know what we're doing."

She nodded. "And do you? Do you know what you're doing?"

"I'm not a child, Alice. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"I'm just making sure. After all, you've already broken cardinal rule number one."

My eyes widened as she stared back at me. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. She nodded and whispered, "No mistakes." She turned to walk toward Emmett, leaving me floundering behind her.

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. What the fuck was I doing? Alice was right, I didn't know. Was I seriously going to throw away years worth of work for someone I thought was hot? Sure, she was fuckable, someone I could see having a good time with, but she wasn't worth going to jail for; she wasn't worth dying for….

I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, what I had to do. Isabella Marie Newton would die by my hands. I swore it under my breath. Even if it was the last thing I ever did on this earth, she was going down.

I got up with renewed vigor and grabbed my keys and jacket. There was no time like the present to head over to the library and start some research. Maybe, just maybe, it would help clear my mind … from complications, from doubt, from Bella.

* * *

_I'm an __angel __in the courtroom and a whore in the bedroom_—Abi Titmuss (Sums up Hitward pretty damn well.)

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**A/N**: We have some amazing things in store for our wonderful fans in the coming chapters. Thank you to all of you who blogged, facebooked, tweeted, and recommended our story. WE LOVE YOU!

Again, if you review we will send you a preview of the coming chapter. We promise this one to be a bit longer than before. So, **PLEASE REVIEW! **(If you review w/o a FF account, we are sorry; there is no option for us to reply to your review. We still appreciate it.)

Once again, thank you BreezyBri for your wonderful help in Beta-ing this chapter. Bri is lolafalana's editor on her novels, the first to be hitting stores in a month (see her profile)! Bri is who you need to go to for all your editing needs. ;-)

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	5. 4 Phantom Desire

**Wicked Angel**

**4. Phantom Desire**

_Like a touch from hell to feel how hot  
that it can get if you get caught  
Like a strike from heaven turns that key  
And brings you straight down to your knees  
~_Metallica

* * *

I drove to the Forks Public Library after my visit with Alice and Emmett with a renewed resolve. I felt fully motivated to get my mind back on track. I had a job to do and I took that shit seriously. I didn't get where I was because I made fucking stupid-ass mistakes. I was good at what I did and I took pride in providing that service to our clients.

It was hard to accept that I made the first mistake of my career by having personal contact with Bella, but that was behind me now. There was no going back, so I just had to move forward. It wasn't my business if I thought her husband was a douchebag for wanting her dead. That was why I had the rule to never make personal contact with the victim; it made it too personal. I had a job to do and that was it. Period. The end.

I pulled into the library parking lot and parked my truck. It wasn't uncommon for me to come here to do research since I was the town's Medical Examiner. That definitely made it easy on me when I had to do research on anything to do with death. If I had any other career it would have probably raised red flags, but thankfully for me it just looked work-related. And it was, but not in the way people probably thought.

I made it a point to never check any books out. That way no one knew exactly what type of things I was researching. I never even made photocopies. Having a photographic memory served me well. And, of course, most of my hits weren't anywhere near Forks. This job had to be done with finesse. Obviously, I had ruined that, so from here on out I had to be nothing but perfect.

I made my way into the library and up to the third floor where all the medical research books were located. Today's research topic: types of poison, but more specifically, ones that could kill someone in a way that would look like a natural death. Since I was the M.E. and did all the toxicology tests, I could certainly say that nothing showed up in a victim's system, but there could be no obvious sign of an unnatural death to the eyes of an outsider. Plus, knowing Charlie Swan, he'd demand a second opinion...and a third. Whatever I told him had to be correct.

I knew several well-known researchers who had written books on the topic so I knew where I had to look without even using the library's computer system to search. I always came prepared, because the less I had to do on a computer, the less anything could ever be tied back to me later. Everything I did from now until her death had to be meticulously watched and controlled.

I scanned the aisles where the books I needed were located. After I found what I was looking for, I headed to a private table towards the back of the research section and sat. I scanned pages and pages of useless information until I came across a few articles that might be just what I was looking for. As usual, I made mental notes in my head, making sure to never write anything down. Paper led to trails and trails led to people, so I made sure to keep as much as I could off paper.

I didn't even like it when Jacob fucking insisted on giving me files on new victims, but he said I needed to see pictures and get background bios so I could put together my plans in the best way. Usually, I would read them over one time and then burn them right away. Alice had made a point to remind me that I had left the file for Bella out. That was something I never did, but I found myself having a hard time getting rid of her pictures. I liked looking at her.

_Fuck! That was two mistakes I have made now. Note to self: Burn that fucking file as soon as you get home._

I shook off the uneasy feeling I was having. I was just going to have to be more careful.

After reading through several books I went to re-shelf them. It was another rule of mine to never leave them for the librarian to put away.

I was standing in the aisle, putting the last one back, when I heard my name being called.

The voice was soft and sounded unsure. "Edward?"

I looked over and nearly fucking shit myself when I saw Bella Newton standing at the end of the aisle looking at me. Her face lit with a smile when I looked at her. God, she was beautiful.

I must have stood there too long without saying anything because her smile eventually fell from her face and she looked kind of embarrassed. "I'm sorry, you must not remember me. You helped change my tire the other night. I'm Bella Newton," she said as she walked forward with her hand extended to me.

_Back away. Act like you don't know her. If she is uncertain, maybe she should just continue to be._

I didn't back away, though. All I did was blink back my shock and shut my mouth that was hanging slightly ajar. For a few seconds, I tried to compose myself. Without taking her hand, I responded back, "Of course, Bella, I remember." My voice was hard and cold. I felt bad about it. _Stupid emotions_.

When she realized I wasn't going to shake her hand, she pulled it back hesitantly with almost a … hurt look on her face?

"So, what brings you to the research section of the library today?" she asked, trying to make small talk.

_Well actually, Bella, I'm here researching different types of poison to kill you so that your husband can collect on your life insurance policy and run off with some whore he is fucking on the side. _Yeah, that conversation wouldn't go well.

"I'm just here doing some research for work. Just like a doctor, a medical examiner's education never ends," I answered in all honesty.

She just nodded at me in understanding. "I'm here doing some research for work too. I have an exceptionally tough case with a young, disturbed kid that I am finding very trying. I am looking through medical journals to find different methods of therapy but so far everything I have tried has been unsuccessful." She looked down and started playing with a loose thread on the hem of her shirt. She looked fucking bashful and cute as hell. "What kills me is that most of these kids had a rough start, and because of that the world around them treats them like outcasts, and the only way they know how to deal is to act out. It truly breaks my heart. I wish I could just love them enough to show them that they aren't freaks and that their childhoods weren't their fault."

My heart clenched in my chest and I thought of Alice. I thought about all of us. We all had our own issues growing up. We fought back by trying to get rid of those who had hurt us, those who had made us feel like freaks. Bella was one of the good guys. She was one of the ones who wanted to understand people like us. She wanted to help. She wanted to love.

I needed to get out of there. This was becoming too much.

"Well good luck with your research, Bella. I will leave you to your studies. I have finished up here for the day." I started to move past her but she put her hand on the book that I had just put on the bookshelf and stroked the binding before taking it down.

_Oh shit...this isn't good_.

"Hm." Her eyebrows came together. "Toxicology: The Basic Science of Poisons. That is an interesting topic to be researching. What is this for?"

_Keep your fucking cool, Cullen._ "I really can't talk about this outside of work."

She raised her eyebrows. "Cross my heart, I won't tell a soul."

I shifted my weight, uneasy.

I fucking believed her. Dammit. "I'm researching poisons that could kill you and make it look natural." That was truer than she would ever know; kill _her_, specifically. "There is a family that is suspicious of their grandfather's death." It could be true, but it wasn't.

"Maybe I could help you?" she offered, completely baffling me.

"No!" I said too loud, practically shouting at her. The picture of her helping me find this poison that I would use against her made me sick. Again, Bella's eyebrows shot up in surprise. I lowered my voice. "No, I mean, I already found what I needed to finish my blood work." God, I was sweating.

"Oh, okay," she whispered. Her eyes shifted nervously across my chest until she looked back up to my eyes. They were a liquid brown, with golden flecks around her irises. Her look was smoldering and I almost melted into a pile of goo on the floor.

I had to get out of there, fast! "Have a good evening, Bella."

My first stride to pass her was again intercepted. She put her hand on my arm as I passed and stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Could I buy you a cup of coffee downstairs at the café? It is the least I can do after you helped change my tire the other night. Without your help, I would have had to sit around waiting for Mike and who knows how long that would have been."

I immediately felt anger. I wanted to fucking kill Mike. Which is not an unusual feeling—considering I wanted to kill people all the time—but this time I wanted to do it for another reason. A reason I tried not to think about. Murdering for passion always ends badly.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. "I appreciate it Bella, but really, you don't need to do that. It was my pleasure. I'm sure anyone who was there at the time would have done the same thing. I'm just glad I could help." Again, I tried to continue walking because I knew this was getting slippery and I had to get out of there before I fell down the slope and right on my ass.

But again, before I could walk away, she put her hand out, this time touching my hand…skin-to-skin contact. I felt zapped. Like a fucking bolt of lightning came out of the sky and hit me head on. Bella seemed startled as well. Had she felt it too? God, why did it fucking matter if she did? This was getting ridiculous.

She pulled her hand back slowly but looked up at my eyes. "Please, just one cup of coffee. I would really like it if you let me buy you one cup of coffee."

I looked down into her eyes and could tell she was pleading with me. Did she need something from me? Was something wrong? Why did I even care? I wanted to say yes, but I knew I had to say no. I should say no, but when I opened my mouth my words had a mind of their own.

"Okay."

"Great," she said immediately and a smile came over her face. "I just have to go and grab my coat from where I was sitting. Just wait here and I'll be right back."

I should have bolted. I knew I should have run right out of that library. But I didn't.

As soon as she walked away I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at who the caller was. _Alice._ Shit, that wasn't good. She clearly knew what was going on. She had warned me before I left not to make any more mistakes. She didn't have to say it directly, but I knew she meant to not let things get personal with Bella. There was no doubt in my mind that Alice had now seen this whole interaction with Bella in a vision and was calling me to yell some sense into me. I fingered the phone in my hand deciding what to do.

"You ready?" Bella said as she walked towards me with her coat over her arm and purse over her shoulder.

I took one more look at my phone and then without a second thought, I hit the power button, shutting it off completely. "Ready if you are," I said, and followed Bella to the elevator.

I was going to be in so much shit.

~*~

We ordered our coffee and found a little table in the corner of the café where we could sit and drink.

"So, Edward, what made you decide to get into your line of work?" she asked me.

I really didn't like to talk about myself, but now that I had decided to have coffee with her, I had to act like any other normal person having a conversation with someone they just met. "My father, Carlisle, owns the funeral home here in town so I have grown up around death in one sense or the other my whole life. I thought of just going to medical school to become a doctor but decided that dealing with the dead was much easier than dealing with the living, so I found the middle ground and became a medical examiner."

"You really find dealing with the dead to be better?" she asked, rather unfazed.

"Let's just say the dead don't talk back, they don't complain, and I don't need to put a suggestion box in my waiting room," I said to her.

She contemplated what I said and then nodded her head in understanding. "I suppose you are right on all counts," she said and took a sip of her coffee.

"So tell me about yourself, Bella."

She sighed, set down her coffee cup on the table, and looked over my shoulder out the window. "What is it that you would like to know?" she asked me without looking at me.

"What made you decide to move to Forks from Arizona?"

She drew her gaze from out the window back over to me. "How did you know I lived in Arizona before I moved here?"

_Fuck!_ Should I run? I felt like running. Oh shit. _Think, think, think, Cullen_.

"This is a small town, Bella. Everyone knows everyone's business. Don't think that it wasn't big news when the Police Chief's daughter moved into town."

_Shit that was a close call._

"Well, I was actually born here. My mother left and took me to Phoenix after she and my father divorced. I lived in Phoenix my whole life. It was in college that I met Michael and we married shortly after graduation. I always dreamed of having a family right away and I thought it would be nice to raise my children in a small town. When my mother and her new husband moved to Jacksonville, I didn't have any ties to stay in Phoenix any longer. So I talked Michael into moving here to Forks so I could be closer to my father, to try and build my relationship with him again. I had fond memories of visiting my father here when I would visit growing up. I just knew Michael and I could be happy here, raising a family."

When she finished talking, she looked back out the window. She had such sadness in her eyes—maybe she was trying to hide it.

"Did it not turn out quite as you planned?" I asked, genuinely interested in her answer.

Her eyes darted to me instantly and she sat up straight and composed herself. "Oh no, it's great, I'm really happy here in Forks." Her words said one thing but her eyes clearly said another.

I just sat there in silence staring at her, not sure what to say next.

She sighed. "I just thought I would have had children already, but when we got here we decided to hold off until we were both settled. Once I felt like we had planted our roots here, I broached the subject again with Michael, but by then he seemed to have changed his mind about wanting children right away. He kept telling me that there was time, we were young, and we should wait a while. Well a while has turned into a few years and now…it just seems like we are both on totally different pages where everything is concerned." As soon as she finished talking a single tear fell down her cheek.

It took all my self control to not reach out and wipe it from her face. "Bella are you okay?" I asked.

I wanted to wipe away her tears and…what? Murder her? What the fuck had she done to me?

"Oh God, look at me," she said with a forced laugh, as she swiped the tear from her face. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm not normally so…emotional. I think I just had a stressful day at work. I really do apologize for my behavior."

I knew she was covering up. I knew there were issues within her marriage. Fuck, I was sure of it. She married that piece-of-shit and wanted a family, and now he was making excuses to her about waiting and shit so that he could bang some local whore, who would probably leave him the second he gave her some of his _winnings_ from offing his wife. I was furious. I felt my fists clench under the table. If only that motherfucker was sitting right in front of me now; I would snap his fucking neck with my bare hands. I'd kill him for free.

"Edward, there you are! I've been looking all over for you."

My head snapped up in the same direction as Bella's did and I saw Alice walking across the café towards us.

_Oh shit. _

Alice glided up to our table, looking cool, calm, and collected. She had a big smile plastered across her face and she was laying on the sweetness like fucking molasses.

"Hi, Edward," she said as she smiled a big toothy grin. "I'm so glad I found you. I've been trying to call you but something must be wrong with your phone." She looked over at me and, when she was sure Bella couldn't see her face, shot me the meanest fucking look ever. She was basically telling me with her eyes that she was going to hang me by my balls as soon as she got me alone.

She turned to Bella and instantly had her smile back. "I'm sorry, I don't think we have met. I'm Alice, a close family friend of Edward's. I'm in town visiting and Edward here was supposed to meet me for dinner and never showed."

"Hi, I'm Bella. I apologize, that would be my fault. I sort of forced him to let me buy him coffee since he helped change a flat tire on my car the other day. I had no idea he had plans." Bella looked over at me and gave me an apologetic look. "Well I should be going anyway. It was nice to meet you Alice, and thanks for the company Edward. I'll see you around."

She stood and gathered her things, giving both of us smiles, and then turned and walked out.

I put my head down because I wasn't prepared for the wrath of Alice that I knew was coming.

"Are you a fucking idiot?" she said in a harsh whisper. "I take that back, I _know_ you are a fucking idiot."

"What the fuck was I supposed to do? I came here to do research for our 'job' and she approached me and started talking to me. I tried to turn her down when she asked if she could buy me coffee, but when I said no she asked again. I didn't know what to say."

"How about 'I have fucking plans, I can't!' Edward, you are _smarter_ than this. This is already a tricky job and you have already broken several of our cardinal rules. This isn't like you, and quite frankly, it is making me quite concerned. You are lucky that Emmett and Jacob are none-the-wiser about all this, but this is a small town and it only takes one person to say something before the whole fucking town knows."

"I know! I fucking know, Alice! God, get off my fucking dick. I'll take care of this. I will be more careful. I'll just start avoiding public places."

"Edward, this isn't just about you running into Bella. I mean that part I get because this is such a small town, but there is something else I am feeling here. Something much more personal. You haven't even burned her file folder, and I know you could recite every written document in there from memory, so you would have absolutely no need for those documents. It's the pictures. That's what you can't get rid of."

We both knew she was right about the photos, so I didn't address it. "Alice, do you know what she does for a living? She helps kids. Kids like we were. We are planning on killing someone who helps kids like us. Her husband is the kind of asshole who would have made our lives hell as kids. This is fucking backwards, Alice."

Alice took a deep breath, sat down, and put her hands over mine. "Edward, our job is not to make moral decisions when it comes to the jobs we do for others. You have let yourself become too emotionally involved in this case. This is exactly why we don't, under any circumstances, talk to our targets."

"Well, maybe we should!" I shouted at her. It was wrong; I shouldn't be mad at Alice, or anyone, really. This girl, Bella, had me wrapped around her fucking finger already.

"Maybe we should talk to Jacob and we'll have Emmett handle this one," Alice said, after composing herself from my outburst. "You've never had a problem like this before."

My anger flared inside of me. I felt my face get red from the rage that was bubbling beneath the surface. Alice knew to back off when I got this way. There was no way I was going to let someone else handle this. I looked at her and leaned in very closely, so she would hear me and there would be no misunderstandings. "No Jacob, no Emmett. This is mine. Bella is mine."

I just wasn't sure if I knew exactly what that meant. Did I mean the job or did I mean something else? It was like a stupid phantom desire.

* * *

_We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us._—Francois Rabelais

* * *

**A/N:** _Wicked Angel_ has spread like wildfire through several media outlets, and we all want to thank you for help in spreading the word. We really appreciate it!

Those who review this chapter will receive a preview for the next! So, **PLEASE REVIEW! **(If you review w/o a FF account, we are sorry; there is no option for us to reply to your review. We still appreciate it.)

Once again, thank you BreezyBri for your wonderful help in Beta-ing this chapter. Bri is lolafalana's editor on her novels, the first to be hitting stores in a month (see her profile)!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	6. 5 Death By

**Wicked Angel**

**5. Death By…**

_A drink for the horror that I'm in,  
For the good guys, and the bad guys,  
For the monsters that I've been._

—My Chemical Romance: Sleep

* * *

Well, the encounter with Alice had been as enjoyable as an anal reaming with a giant zucchini. Her last words were still ringing in my ears. Worse—_my_ words were repeating in my head. _Mine? Seriously Edward? You better think long and hard about what you mean by that. And you better get your shit together. I'm not going to jail because you suddenly grew a conscience. _The farther I drove, the angrier I became with myself. Alice was right. What the fuck was I thinking? Had I lost my ability to be cold and ruthless?

My body felt like it was going to explode and I saw only one solution. I text messaged Leah to see if she was home. Her reply was yes and to hurry over. Good. Then I text messaged Jake. If I was going to be a heartless prick, I was going all the way.

_Now's the only chance I will ever give you. Going to Leah's. Will leave back door open. Don't let her hear or see you are there until she's too far into it to care._

Jake's eager reply made me shudder a little. Why the fuck was he so intent on seeing me screw Leah. There were few people in the world more twisted than me; Jake was one of them.

Leah was like Tanya, only not quite as kinky. Tanya would let the whole town watch if I asked her. Leah was a little more subdued, but the things she could do with her mouth were legendary. Plus, if she was feeling generous, she'd let me fuck her ass. I never had any complaints after a visit to her house.

I pulled up behind her place. Normally by now, I was harder than a rock, but today not so much. I sat there for a few moments and ran through my greatest hits of the past. That got me going without fail. The mere thought of the control I had over my victims nearly made the zipper break on my pants.

I found Leah in her living room waiting for me on the couch. "Hard day?" She smiled and stood up while she took her shirt off. Braless, thank you Lord. Her breasts were exceptionally nice, and natural, unlike Tanya. For all my use of artifice in my day-to-day life, I liked an all-natural girl. And she was all-natural, and all stunning.

"Yes, and the less talking you do, the better. There are better uses for your mouth." I undid my jeans and dropped them to the floor. Leah gestured to the couch, so I sat down. I watched as she licked her lips appreciatively before she licked the tip of my cock. I wrapped my hand in her hair. "Get to it." Leah moaned and took me completely in her mouth. Her dark hair fell down around my hand and gave me the briefest mental image of Bella. What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? I shook my head and mentally kicked myself. I closed my eyes and focused on the feel of Leah's tongue swirling around my cock. I gripped her hair tighter as she took me deeper. Leah was one of the few girls I knew who actually liked it when I fucked her mouth. If she didn't really enjoy it she faked it well.

Her fingernails gripped the back of my thigh, encouraging my thrusts. I groaned at the sensation. Leah hummed around me and I groaned again. Fuck, she was good. I opened my eyes in time to see Jake take a seat in the corner where the doorway was. He could see everything, but Leah couldn't see him easily. I ignored his arrival. I gave her hair a little tug. "Enough." Leah pulled off me with a grin. "Drop your pants." Leah did as I asked. I stood, leaned down, pulled a condom out of my pocket, and put it on. I sat and pulled her over to straddle me. She situated herself above me before she slid down with a little moan.

"Ride me hard, now," I commanded. Leah closed her eyes and grabbed onto my shoulders. She started to rise and fall on me at a quick pace. I reached out and rubbed my hands over her breasts, pinching her nipples.

"Fuck, Edward." Her head fell back and she ground down into me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jake stroking himself through his jeans. Sick fuck. Leah was moaning every time her hips slammed down into mine. She was always quick to come.

"Leah, turn around." She paused and resituated herself facing away from me. As she sank back down she gasped. She had seen Jake. I gripped her hips and kept her on me. Leaning forward, I whispered in her ear, "Come on…you know you want him to see you get fucked." Leah moaned and her head fell back against my shoulder. "You like to be watched, don't you?"

Leah gasped. "Yes."

"Then give him something to see." I sat back again but kept my hands on her hips. Leah began moving again. Quickly, she was slamming her body down into mine, her cries getting louder each time our bodies met. I was still feeling a little distracted. Was it because Jake was there? With only Leah's dark hair to see, I found myself thinking of Bella again. The onslaught of images in my brain of what it would be like to fuck Bella couldn't be stopped. I felt the familiar burning knot start in my stomach. Leah reached down between her legs and started fondling my balls. "Fuck, I'm going to come," I growled. I bit my lip to fight the sudden urge to say Bella's name.

Leah's orgasm hit her and pulled me into mine. Her voice calling my name sounded wrong somehow. I came hard, groaning through my release. Leah fell back against me. After a few seconds I pushed her off me somewhat gently. I still felt unsatisfied somehow. I knew the reason why. I also knew I was in deep shit.

I pulled my clothes back on rapidly. Jake was giving Leah a predatory look as she lay panting on the couch. I watched him step forward and saw Leah give him a challenging gaze. I wanted out. I had no interest in seeing this. As I left the room, I called over my shoulder. "Oh, and if your good to her Jake, maybe she'll let you tap her ass. She likes that." I heard Jake chuckle as I got the hell out of there.

I sat in my truck for several seconds before I started it. More than ever I felt like I had something to prove to myself. This wasn't me. I wasn't going to be this person. I had to find a way to get my edge back. Bella was not allowed to mentally fuck me over. I knew that when I got home, I needed to burn the file, pictures and all. She was my target, my mark, my prey. I could not afford to forget that. Tomorrow, I hunt.

Still, there was a little voice in the back of my head. Bella looked like the kind of woman who had never been properly fucked. That douche of a husband sure as hell couldn't have been the one to give it to her. He looked like the type that couldn't tell a clitoris apart from a big toe. He probably also had a dick the size of a baby carrot. Briefly, I pondered the notion of fucking Bella once before I killed her. A few minutes later my cell rang with a text from Alice.

_Don't even fucking think about it assbite._

Cockblocked by the all-seeing pixie. Still, she was right. Just talking to Bella broke one of the rules. Fucking Bella...well, that destroyed the entire rule book.

At home, I was perched at the edge of my bed, the thick manila folder in my hand. It was open, and in my other hand was the picture of Bella. I was giving myself this one last opportunity to look over the information, or that's what I told myself. I rifled through the papers, looking at her bank records, pharmacy receipts, bills, movie stubs, and a list of her best friends. It was amazing that you could put someone's whole life into a few pieces of paper. Regardless, each little thing I learned only intrigued me more.

Fuck. I stood and walked toward the back door of my house. Outside, there was a large fire-pit. It had been a while since I had a party. My friends had all been busy with their own lives. Jacob had started hanging out with his "posse" after Alice and Emmett had left. I still felt some anger toward them for leaving me without the outlet of murder-for-hire, but Jacob took up that slack. Of all of us, he was the most twisted. Yeah, Alice was dark in her own way, and Emmett was pretty sick himself, but Jacob, he took the golden straight jacket.

I threw the manila folder into the fire pit and began gathering cut wood that was already next to the house. Alice and Emmett materialized out of the darkness. It didn't scare me. I figured Alice would know I was going to barbeque the contents of that folder, and I was sure she had called Jacob too. Or maybe they all wanted to make sure it was burned. Either way, Emmett had hotdogs and buns, and Alice was carrying marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers. Looked like it was going to be a party after all.

The fire spread quickly over the paper and caught the first of the wood as it started to lick at the air.

They dropped the food on the table near the fire and unfolded the chairs. "I miss days like these," Emmett said as he sat and flung his feet up on the table.

Alice flicked the bottom of one of his feet. "Manners, Em." Emmett stuck out his tongue but followed the pixie's orders. She held out three wire hangers and we each started to untangle the metal where it was coiled. "I thought you might want the company."

I nodded. "You could say that. I missed you fuckers, you know that?"

"Hey, we offered you a spot on the road with us," Emmett said.

"As what? The carnies' personal coroner? Hah!"

"Point taken," he replied.

"Did you have yourself a nap? You don't look so tired anymore," I wondered, remembering that Emmett was about to fall asleep on my couch earlier today.

"You bet your ass I did." He grinned. "Did I tell you about the Siamese twins that recently joined the carnival?"

That took me off guard. I started to laugh. "I can only imagine…let's hear it."

"Joined at the hip." Emmett chuckled and put a hotdog at the end of his wire hanger. "Two heads, which obviously means two mouths." He waggled his eyebrows. "And…two pussies! _Two_ of them! There were so many holes, I wish I had another me attached to my hip so I could fill them all."

Alice slapped him in the back of the head. "Irina and Kate are very sweet girls. Did you seriously already violate them?"

Emmett frowned but it was in an attempt to stop his laughter. "They are sweet all right. Yum, yum." Alice smacked him in the back of the head again. "What?" he asked, trying to look politely stunned and failing miserably.

"That is one vision I am glad I didn't see!" Alice exclaimed and then looked me in the eye, her eyebrow raised in challenge. Fuck, what now? "Speaking of visions, I haven't been able to pin down a single detail to this murder, Edward. I need you to make up your mind about whatever it is you are having issues with so I can see the future."

Before I could speak, I heard a booming voice. "Who wants beer?" It was Jacob to the rescue. I guess he finished his fuckfest, though I didn't ask.

I raised my hand and he tossed me a can. It was cold and I opened it and started to chug it down. This was going to be a long night; I already knew it.

Conversation flowed freely most of the early hours of the evening, and surprisingly, most of it wasn't even about death. But, the more we drank, the more belligerent we all became. That was when things started to turn interesting…

"I say we play the 'Death By…' game." Emmett raised his beer high in the air. "I'll go first." His words were slightly slurred but I knew he was still pretty sober compared to some nights I'd seen him drink. "Bella will die by bear attack deep in the woods."

"Wolf attack," Jacob corrected.

"No, definitely not!" Alice looked at them in mock horror. "Bunny rabbits. Oh yes…it will most definitely be bunny rabbits."

We all put our drinks down at the same time and just stared at Alice, her face cast in dark shadows, only part of the fire lighting her features.

"Rabbits?" we all asked at once.

Her lips lifted into a smile. "Don't make me pull out the dusty video tape of _The Holy Grail_."

We all laughed in unison.

"Okay," I said, "my turn!" They all waited anxiously for what I had to say. I wondered if Alice had said something to them about my…transgressions with this case. "Death by cliff-diving!"

"Lame," Emmett said.

"Oh, come on, dude," Jacob chimed in.

"Bo-or-ing." Alice.

"Fine, fuckers. Death by jousting." I smiled widely at their stunned faces. "What? Not original enough?"

"Oookay," Alice said, and even in the dim light, I could see her rolling her eyes. "Bella will die by asphyxiation."

"Seriously?" I asked. "And you thought my idea was lame?"

"By a cock in her throat," she added and started chuckling so much she was snorting. Emmett and Jacob gazed at each other with wide eyes before they hit their beer cans together and started to laugh, their eyebrows waggling up and down. Out of all of us, I was the only one that wasn't laughing, because dammit, if she was going to die of something like that, it would at least be my cock! Then, I felt sick for even thinking about it.

They were all oblivious to my internal struggle.

"Death by syphilis."

"Death by drowning." There were boos all around.

"Death by weed." Emmett laughed so hard that he fell sideways out of his chair.

"Idiot," Jacob said through his laughter.

"Death by hang glider."

I took a long swig of my beer, emptying the can. "All right, I got one for you all. Death by meat grinder."

"Yummy, Bella burgers," Emmett said while rubbing his stomach.

"Sick fucker," Alice chided and tripped him when he stood. Emmett fell down again and we all started laughing at him lying in the damp grass, beer spilled down his shirt.

"Okay, I got one," Alice chirped. "Death by tanning bed."

"You've seen Bella, she's pale as a ghost. No one will believe that." I put my head in my hands. Talking about death so freely used to be just a fun way to vent, to get shit off your chest…but I knew tonight was all about Bella, and her potential death, even if we were just fucking around.

"Fine, death by Christmas lights."

I shook my head. "No, how about death by an elephant stampede."

"Now we're on track." Jacob raised his beer and it sloshed down his arm. "Death by fireworks."

"Death by spasmodic colon."

"Death by infomercial re-runs." Emmett stared at Alice and she smacked him in the back of the head. Again.

"I love infomercials. Sometimes they have amazing deals," Alice pursed her lips defensively.

"Sure they do." Jacob patted her on the head like she was a doll. She was practically the size of one.

"Death by toothpaste," Alice said, sticking her tongue out at Jacob.

He smiled down at her. "Now that has potential, Edward." His eyes shot up to mine, serious for two seconds. "Keep that one in mind."

I nodded at him and he let it go. The night was turning into morning, but we continued to pop open beers and down them, adding more wood to our fire. Bella's folder was long gone, just ashes and smoke in the air. The "Death By…" game started to turn utterly insane.

"Death by soap bubbles."

"Death by constipation."

"Death by being a slut." Alice pointed to Emmett. Alice one, Emmett zero.

"Death by being short." Emmett smirked back at her.

Tied.

"Death by steroids," Alice said cockily. We all started laughing. Alice two, Emmett one.

"Death by sexual frustration." Emmett laughed insanely and his big hand landed on Alice's shoulder. Her chair sunk an inch into the soggy ground.

"Hey," she said defensively, "Just because I don't fuck everything that moves doesn't mean I'm sexually frustrated. Sparkly is my best friend when I am in need."

My eyebrows must have rose to hair level at this bit of information. "Sparkly?"

"Yeah, my vibrator."

A wicked smiled spread across Jacob's face. "Death by Sparkly."

"Death by cock is still my favorite, but I can settle for vibrator," Emmett said and chugged the rest of his beer.

"All right, fuckers. I'm going to bed and you-all are going home." I pointed toward the road. "And don't be stupid, call one of your buddies, Jacob, to take you-all home."

"Yes, sir."

"I mean it. No fucking mistakes. We need to stay off of the police radar." I should be listening to my own advice.

My drunken dreams consisted of Bella, in my bed, doing very naughty things below my belt. She was sucking hard on my cock and I was holding her head against my body as she moved up and down, taking all of me. She must not have had a gag reflex, but it was my dream, so of course she didn't. But what woke me from this dream was not my alarm, but the fact that when she looked up at me, blood was trailing down her face from a massive head wound. I scrambled back from her, hitting my head hard against the headboard and my eyes flew open.

Just a dream…just a fucking dream.

Damn, what the hell was this woman doing to me?

Work was slow at the funeral home. There were no funerals today, and Carlisle had decided to take Esme on a cruise for the week. _Bon voyage_.

I was sitting in my office when I heard Alice. "Edward? Hey, come out of your office."

I sighed and circled around my desk to peek my head out the door and down the hallway. Alice was standing in the doorway, her eyes wide.

"Good," she whispered, relief obvious in her voice. "Bella isn't here yet."

"Um…no? Why would she be?"

"I had a vision. Go downstairs and hide." We heard a car door shut outside. "Now, Edward. Don't make me tell you twice. This is getting ridiculous. She doesn't need to be stopping by to see you." She glared at me and I rolled my eyes and moved toward the door that led to the basement.

Of course, I didn't listen to her and I stayed at the top step to listen in on their conversation with the door slightly ajar. The front door slowly opened and made a creaking noise. I made a mental note to oil that door. This place was creepy enough for people without the sound-effects.

"Hi!" Alice chirped, a little too loud and a little too friendly.

"Um, hi? Alice, right?" Bella's voice was like soft velvet wrapping around my body. Dammit.

"Yes. Hi, Bella. So good to see you…unless you are here for business. Oh no, did someone die, Bella?" Alice's voice was so sincere she almost had me fooled.

Bella coughed a laugh and said, "Oh, no. I wish." There was silence for a moment. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

I could imagine Alice rolling her eyes, being all sweetness and pie. "Don't worry, Bella. We all have thoughts like that sometimes."

I peeked through the door and saw Bella's blush from where I was standing. I wanted to lick her neck and feel the pulse there. God, she was so fucking beautiful.

"I saw Edward's truck parked outside and wanted to come by to say hello."

That caught me off guard and I accidently hit the door a little and it swung open. _I am a moron._ A complete and utter idiot. Death by embarrassment.

Nope, I was still alive.

"Oh, hey Bella," I tried to say nonchalantly. Alice wasn't fooled, and the look she shot me could have smoldered me to ashes.

"Hi, Edward," Bella responded bashfully.

I strode over to both of them, trying to send covert glances at Alice that I could handle this. Of course, she continued to give me a look of disbelief.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I wondered, honestly curious about her answer.

"Well, um…" She fucking blushed again and then looked down at her shoes in embarrassment, it seemed.

And before my brain-to-mouth filter could kick in—obviously, it went away on vacation whenever I was around Bella—I asked, "Alice and I are about to go to lunch. Did you want to come with?"

Alice jerked her head in my direction, her jaw practically dislocating at my words. I shrugged, unable to fix the situation now.

"Sure, I'd love that," Bella said, smiling from ear-to-ear.

"Great." I grinned back at her and her eyes bore into mine, almost melting me into a puddle on the ground. She had me. And that was too bad, because I was going to kill her. "Let me go grab my coat…" I pointed toward my office. Alice, of course, followed behind me.

As soon as we were in my office, Alice went off. "What the fuck are you doing?" Her voice was a low, furious whisper. "No mistakes, you jackass. We are supposed to be killing her, not making friends with our target. What the fuck are we going to tell Jacob…what if he finds out before we can tell him…this could go all different kinds of wrong…"

I pushed past Alice and began walking toward Bella. I could hear Alice huff in my office and I gave Bella a reassuring smile when she looked over my shoulder, her eyebrows knitted together. I hope she didn't hear any of that conversation, but she wasn't running, so that was a good sign.

"You can ride with me. I was just going to go to my house and cook something. Is that all right?" I hoped that would appease Alice. No public places, all private. Also, I was secretly hoping that getting close to Bella might also help me kill her more easily. I'd made too many mistakes and I had to make this work for me now. Though rule number one had always been to keep them at a distance—never talk to our targets—I distinctly remembered Alice asking me to kill Jane even though we knew her, and there were others. But, as we grew older, we made these rules.

Well, I say screw the rules. Alice would just have to understand.

I opened the door for Bella and motioned for her to go before me. I grinned down at her bashful smile. Alice stomped down the hall and glared at me, the look equaling a thousand daggers stabbing my forehead. Her eyes narrowed at me as she exited the door and under her breath she said, "You better know what the fuck you are doing, Cullen."

Death by Alice.

* * *

_Every man dies—Not every man really lives._

—William Ross Wallace

* * *

**A/N:** For those following us on the twilighted forums, we promised to tell you about the little bit we actually took out of this chapter because we found it too creeptastic and disgusting. Initially, we were going to make Leah Jake's cousin. Well…that idea got tossed quickly—even we can't stomach some things. Also, it has been asked if necrophilia would be a part of this story…again, we can't stomach something that sick, so no. You have our word that there will be NO necrophilia.

Those who review this chapter will receive a preview for the next! So, **PLEASE REVIEW! **(If you review w/o a FF account, we are sorry; there is no option for us to reply to your review. We still appreciate it.)

Once again, thank you BreezyBri for your wonderful help in Beta-ing this chapter. Bri is lolafalana's editor on her novels, the first to be hitting stores in a month (see her profile)!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended. 


	7. 6 Angel of Death

**Wicked Angel**

**6. Angel of Death**

_Monarch to the kingdom of the dead_

_Infamous butcher, Angel of Death_—Slayer

* * *

I was digging a hole. How soon would it be before I was six feet under? Maybe I should ask Alice to go ahead and shoot me. She'd probably say yes, considering the look she was giving me—the one that said "traitor"—as I helped Bella into my Dodge Ram. Sometimes I wondered if Alice had other hidden talents besides the ability to see the future. I could literally feel her eyes boring into me like poisonous darts as I shut the truck door. In the side mirror, I watched Alice stand at her car, huff angrily, climb into her small coupe, and slam the door behind her. I shook my head with a small smile. She was pissed, I could understand that. But this was happening whether she liked it or not. Bella knew me now, and there was no reason to deny the inevitable. Now, I just had to learn to make it work for me.

I climbed in next to Bella and smiled at her as I started the engine. Trying to be sly, I watched her; she was nervous, shaking slightly, fidgeting, scared even—but not for the right reasons. She should be scared of me because I was planning her death. But…_she wasn't_. She was oblivious to my thoughts of how I would seduce her, and take her somewhere secluded where she would meet her untimely demise. I'd only seduced one victim before and that was Jessica. Bella was different. She was observant, smart. It felt like I was playing basketball with a baseball bat. I was way out of my element. But I had drawn these cards and now I had to play with them. Was she the queen in my hand, or the deadly ace of spades?

The image of Bella losing her life while in my arms was…turning me on. It felt intimate—not at all like my other murders. I shifted uncomfortably in the seat. I saw Bella twist her hands in her lap and I wanted to…_comfort_ her. There it was again, the need to do something I had never had the urge to do before. Sure, I've been there for Alice…but this was different. Of course, I would be the first to admit I was no fucking good at making friends, or keeping friends for that matter, but I knew how to read someone. And her body language screamed for me to _help_ her. Maybe she knew about the sordid affair after all? Or was it something else? Was there a part of Bella that she kept hidden—something papers in a manila folder would never tell me?

_What does that matter? How is comforting her or getting to know her going to help? Comfort her; help her right before you what? Murder her? _The thought "I'm screwed" had passed through my mind so many times, but as the heat radiated through the truck, her scent hit me. And she smelled _so_ sweet, _so_ delicious that I didn't care anymore. I knew this situation wasn't good (fucked up would be a better way to put it). I knew I'd never hear the end of it, and I knew it put me at risk of being caught. But, I also knew that there was no going back. _Please, let this work out._

Bella smiled at me and tucked a piece of her chestnut hair behind her ear. A quick peek in the rearview mirror showed the stupidest shit-eatin' grin splashed across my face. How long had that been there? I tried to frown, but my face refused to budge. I decided to distract myself instead. "So, Bella, you never answered my question: what brings you by?"

"Honestly? I…ah…needed to get out of my house, and I thought of you. I hope I'm not intruding or being a bother," she said as she looked down into her lap.

"No!" I said too quickly. _Moron._ "Of course not. I was surprised, that's all. Do you want to talk about why you had to get out of your house?" I asked her, god fucking knows why. I did, however, notice that she said "house" and not "home."

_Oh, I know why, because I am a pussy whipped psycho when it comes to Bella. _Might as well admit to this now.

"Really, you don't want to hear about it," she said as she shook her head.

Part of me yearned to just kill her, because who the fuck did she think she was? She had me upside down hanging from my nut sack. If I just killed her already, I could get on with shit. Get back to normal. But when I looked at her again, my fucking heart ached, and I wanted nothing more than to just be with her. Hug her. Tell her she deserved better than that ass Mike. I felt sorry for her. _Compassion_—it was not an emotion I felt for many people, if I felt it at all.

_Once she is dead, I won't have to feel so fucked up anymore._

"You can tell me Bella." I chanced a glance at her as I stopped at one of four red lights in town.

I expected her to tell me she didn't know me well enough to answer that, or to mind my own fucking business, or to ask why the fuck she should trust me (in which I didn't have a truthful answer)…but she didn't.

"I don't know why I married Mike," she blurted out, completely shocking me. Honestly, I wondered the same thing. She seemed to have all her duckies in a row…so why Mike? It was the million dollar question. "I'm not even sure I like him anymore. I don't know why I came to you…maybe to see if I was crazy."

I pulled into my driveway and looked at her for second. "Crazy?" I questioned, cocking my head to the side. "Why do you think you're crazy?" Bella was the sanest person I knew.

Bella's mouth began to open to speak but she quickly closed it when Alice's abrupt knock on my window startled her.

"Alice," I sighed, annoyed. "She can be a bit impatient," I explained while opening my door. That was the understatement of the year. She could see the future some of the time, which made her a tad impatient all of the time when it came to the actual events. One time, she had shown up at my house two days before I was actually aware I was supposed to kill someone, just because what she saw excited her to the point of restlessness and giddiness.

I jogged around the truck and opened the passenger side door. I offered Bella my hand, wanting nothing more than to feel her touch and the electricity that I had felt before. Was it static-electricity or was it something more? It was becoming more than a want—it was a need. It made me feel human…she made me feel alive. All I could think about was death, though. Specifically, her death by my hands.

Her small hand rested in mine, and she looked at me. I could see she trusted me—I could see the certainty deep inside her eyes. For someone so intelligent, she sure didn't seem to be able to pick her men well. Mike wanted her dead, and I was the one who was going to do it. Maybe she knew all along and wanted me to kill her? There goes my wild imagination….

Once her feet were planted steadily on the ground, she looked up at me and whispered apprehensively, "Did you feel that?" Her eyebrows knitted together, and I wanted to say I felt it too. I fucking couldn't because it felt like I was admitting a weakness to her insatiable touch.

"What?" I questioned, pretending to be oblivious to the obvious spark between us. If it was dark out, I bet the electricity between us would've been a visible glow.

"Huh…guess I _am_ crazy," she mumbled as I led her to my front door.

What choice did I have? I didn't deserve her. Maybe I could go along with the theme…make her feel like she is losing her mind. It could be the edge I needed to get this done. She was fucking with my head, making me question everything, and I just wanted to prove that I could do this. End her life.

What would else could I do?

_Kill Mike. Have Bella._

I shook those thoughts out of my head with a chuckle.

_Yeah, in my dreams._

"Bella! I hope you didn't want anything fancy to eat!" Alice said sweetly when we met her at my door. I tried to ignore the tension I felt radiating off Alice like a huge heat wave as I unlocked my door. I pushed it open and stepped aside. "Ladies first." I gestured inside. Bella brushed passed me and my eyes immediately went to her ass.

_Damn, her ass is sexy. _

I helped Bella out of her leather jacket, and placed it gingerly on the coat rack by my door.

"Wow, your place is amazing," Bella said as she looked around in awe. What could I say? I made a lot of money. Cullen Funeral Home was not a rich business, but if you added in Medical Examiner and Hit Man, you had three salaries coming in at once. I wondered what I would do with the money I made from Bella's hit. Maybe new hardwood floors?

"It serves its purpose," I responded dryly. It was all part of the game I played. Nice house, car, job, respectable bachelor. One of the biggest mistakes I could make would be to become some recluse, I needed to be insidious.

"Bella, come chat with me while Edward makes us lunch." Alice didn't really ask, she told; and people never said no to her. I always thought the first man to ever tell Alice no would have her heart forever.

Alice offered Bella a bottle of water that Bella accepted.

I advanced into the kitchen in hopes I had something edible to feed us. Ham and cheese would have to do. I tried to be as quite as possible so I could hear Alice and Bella. God only knows what that crazy Pixie had up her sleeve.

"I didn't realize you and Edward were so friendly." Alice wasn't the best at being sly when she wanted information; she went after what she wanted, and she got it.

"Actually, I'm surprised he invited me…I don't know, can I tell you something?" Bella's voice got lower as she spoke.

"Anything," Alice said. She was amazing, acting like Bella was her best friend and shit. Alice was good at making people feel like they had been friends forever.

"I feel…drawn to him, and maybe I am crazy, no I probably am nuts, but I have been really lonely since moving here. I don't have many friends, and honestly I have no idea what I am doing married to my husband…and Edward…I just feel happier around him, like the world is spinning and when he comes into view…I feel like I can stand. He touches me…and I feel _something, _like a spark.I never felt anything like it before with Mike. I know, I must sound like a crazy person, right? I mean, god, you don't even know me! And he's like your best friend." It was so fucking cute to listen to her ramble.

_Fuck! There I go again with the cute shit._

Killing Mike was looking better and better. If I off him, there would be no need to kill Bella. But could I live a lie with her? It's not as if I could say, "Honey, I like to kill people, I hope that doesn't freak you out." I tossed the idea before the thoughts could come to any more fruition. If Jake knew that I had thought about killing our million dollar client, I'd be on his hit list.

"No Bella, really it's fine, Edward has that effect on woman. Edward said you work with troubled kids? What sparked that interest?" Alice didn't really need to fucking ask.

"I think the system is screwed up," Bella said bluntly. "I hate to see kids locked up over problems society created. I mean, most of them don't know how to handle the anger and frustration they have built up from being bullied as kids. All they know is how to fight back, which we tell them to do, 'stand up for yourself,'" she said in a mock tone. "Then we lock them up for it, which only makes them more screwed up. We put them in jail with murders and rapists were they _learn_ how to murder and rape, get all these ideas. I just want to get to them before that happens. If I can save one kid, I will be happy."

It would certainly freak her out if she knew I was a cold blooded killer.

_Just do your job._

As I piled the meat on the bread, I finally began to really think about my actions. Yup, it was time for a new plan. The seducing thing didn't sound so bad anymore….

"I hope ham and cheese is okay," I said as I walked towards Bella; it was more like being pulled. I gestured for Bella to walk ahead of me, back towards the kitchen. I figured the kitchen island was suitable to eat at.

"I'm really impressed with how clean your place is Edward." Bella smirked at me.

"Edward is a clean freak!" Alice chimed in. "He is a meticulous-perfectionist-genius, and as of lately he seems to have gotten a bit masochistic."

"Genius?" Bella questioned. I should be grateful she didn't want to know why I was becoming a masochist. Because the answer would be "because I am hanging out with you and falling in deeper even though I know I will ultimately have to kill you." Yeah, I didn't think that would go over too well.

"Edward doesn't like to talk about it. He was subject to a lot of torture from nasty kids because of it. Always teasing him for being blessed with a great mind." Alice stated tapping her head. She was lying. Sure, I was the smartest kid in school, but the women…well, they adored me. The men worshiped the ground I walked on. I didn't know why she lied, but I had a feeling that she might have "seen" my response, and it was probably…not good.

"I'm sorry, kids can be so cruel," Bella said as I pulled out the stool for her to sit in.

"It's fine, I survived…" _although many others didn't._ I was so bored in high school, Carlisle thought it would be good if I started to take college courses two days a week, I agreed.

"Sometimes, I wish I could have five minutes alone with the parents of these kids who make fun of other kids. We need to stop tearing people down all the time, what's the point of making someone feel bad? I don't get it," Bella said passionately.

"What kind of person is your husband?" Alice asked in her no bullshit tone.

"I used to think he was great…but now…lately…I am starting to wonder about him. I don't feel like he is genuine, like maybe he had me fooled, and now I see how fake he is. Almost like the type of person I hate. Someone that has to be popular, and cool, and worrying about what everyone thinks all the time. Honestly, something is off with him, I just can't figure it out. We are together, but I have never felt more alone."

"What made you fall in love with him?" I couldn't stop from asking.

"He promised me the world, at one point he worshipped the ground I walked on. Now, I am just alone."

"What about your friends?"

"Rosalie and Jasper are great. They just aren't around for another week. Plus, Rose loves to remind me what an ass Mike is, how she 'told me so,' or whatever," Bella said while shaking her head. "I'm sorry, like you two want to hear about my crappy life." I couldn't take my eyes off her mouth. She constantly brought her bottom lip between her teeth, and I loved it when girls used their teeth to gently scrap against my cock.

_God damn I wanted her mouth around my cock._

"It's okay Bella, it helps to talk about things, like you said, have friends to help you through tough times," Alice said sweetly. She gently placed her hand on Bella's arm to offer reassurance. I looked at her quizzically not sure if she was acting or not. I would like to think I knew Alice well enough to know when she was being sincere, and she sure as hell had me fooled if she wasn't.

"Is that who you wish was dead, Bella? Your husband?" I asked her. I knew I had made a mistake, because I was not in the room when she admitted she wished she were at the funeral home for an actual funeral arrangement.

She raised an eyebrow, but let my mistake slide. "Sometimes…does that make me an awful person?"

"No, I think everyone at some point wishes someone would just die. Can I ask you what he does to make you feel that way?" Her eyes locked with mine, I couldn't look away from her. The need to touch her burned my insides. My breathing was becoming shallow. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing because I had never had such strong reactions to anyone before.

"My dad saw it long before I did. Mike is insecure about everything. I think he resents the fact that I am more successful than he is. Which I could care less about, I never thought less of him…not until I felt like he was _trying_ to bring me down. It's like he wants me to fail."

I felt an overwhelming desire to make Bella mine. She was so close, yet so far away, so unattainable. I tore my eyes from hers and I was fairly sure, in that moment, that I chose to have her for myself. I finally understood what I meant. "Bella is mine" was more true than was professionally acceptable. There was a line, and I had crossed it. Not only had I crossed it, I completely erased it. No line, just a blur.

"Alice, you're going to be late for that thing," I said, wanting her out of my fucking hair. I didn't need her fucking babysitting me. I quickly got up, practically pushing Alice towards the door. Bella attempted to wave bye, but I wasn't giving Alice a chance to weasel her way into staying. She gapped at me as I shoved her jacket towards her when I opened the front door.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" She hissed at me outside.

"I don't fucking know, okay? But I don't need a fucking babysitter." I shut the door in Alice's pissed off face.

I planned on fucking Bella, finishing the job, and maybe showing Mike the sex tape to rub in his disgusting face. I figured I was breaking all the rules anyway, and as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.

I ran my fingers through my hair and began to compose myself before going back to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that…Alice, she loses track of time a lot." I offered Bella my hand to help her. "Want a tour?" I asked as she placed her hand in mine.

_Spark_. Dammit. Just…fuck.

"I'd love one," Bella said as she smiled at me.

I didn't let go of her hand as we began to ascend the stairs. Honestly, I didn't know what I had planned on doing once I got her up there. She stopped to admire a painting. I turned to face her. I was a step above her.

The painting showed a woman, slack in the arms of an angel with huge black wings. She was bleeding from her torso where the angel had plunged a knife into her.

"That is the Angel of Death," I told her. "I acquired it from a private collection."

"She looks…relieved. The angel…he is beautiful," she said while looking up at me. She climbed up another step, inches from me. I could feel her breath warm and sweet against my neck. "Almost as beautiful as you," she spoke softly. I reached for her face and gently caressed her cheek.

"You aren't crazy," I said inching closer to her. I watched her eyes flutter behind her lids. She swallowed back thickly placing her hand on my chest, her lips so close to mine. I parted my lips slightly. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins, aching to taste her. Kissing was not my specialty. But all I wanted was to pull her bottom lip into my mouth. I smiled slightly, trying to be patient. When I was confident I would get to taste her, I felt her tense. Her hand pushed hard against my chest, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"I can't," she said as she stepped back and broke all contact with me. "I should go." She turned away from me.

I wanted to grab her, stop her from leaving. I shouldn't have, but I reached out and seized her arm, turning her toward me. "Don't go," I pleaded with her. I didn't know where the words were coming from. They just sprang from my mouth like a dam had burst. Fuck, I wanted her. Now. I could take her, if I wished. But I wanted her to want me too. God dammit! I was so fucked!

"Edward, I can't do this…I am married, happy or not I _am_ married. I'm not going to cheat on my husband."

I hesitantly let go of her arm. "I'll take you back to your car," I barely whispered. I might have sounded a little choked.

I wasn't fucking used to being turned down. And more than that, I wasn't used to caring _if_ I was turned down. This time I cared. It actually sent a horrible jolt through my stomach and into my heart. This girl had me by the balls, and I was royally screwed. Maybe I would make sure she wasn't married for much longer, if that was what it took to have her.

She backed down the stairs slowly, still facing me. Her hand gripped tightly on the hand rail. Tears swam in her eyes. What was I doing? What was she doing? Fuck, what were _we _doing? This stupid little dance of cat and mouse was new and different this time.

We were still several stairs up when Bella suddenly lost her footing and began to fall backwards. Everything was in slow motion. Her eyes grew wide with alarm and I took two steps at a time to reach her. She was sliding down at an awkward angle, and I reached out and slid my arm around her waist, holding her to me. She was so warm. Instead of that being the end of her tumble, we both fell down the stairs, though I tried to make sure I got the brunt of the fall. In which I failed miserably. We both landed at the foot of the stairs, limbs tangled. I tried to untangle myself as quickly as possible to check her for any wounds.

I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Her hair was wrapped wildly around her face, and matted with blood near her temple.

"Bella?" My voice was frantic. She didn't move. I gently moved her hair from her face. Her eyes were closed, blood running in rivers down her temple, wrapping around her ear and dropping onto the carpet. Tears poured from her eyes and mixed with the blood. Her chest was moving up and down slowly. It was automatic as I checked her pulse. "Bella?" I whispered as I ran my fingers down her face.

She frowned, her eyes still closed. She pushed her head into the palm of my hand and whimpered. _She fucking whimpered._ My heart broke right then. I didn't even know I had a fucking heart to break. "Edward?" she mumbled.

"Don't sit up," I ordered immediately. "You hit your head pretty hard."

Her eyes flew open and she did the exact opposite of what I told her to do. Her hand flew up to her head as I gently pushed her back down. When she saw the blood on her hand she obliged and moaned. "Ouch."

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked.

"Only my pride."

I caressed her cheek again. "You scared me for a minute."

Her eyes found mine and she sighed. "It was my fault, I should have known better than to walk backwards down a flight of stairs."

"Then I tried to be the hero…."

"Yeah, you seem to do that a lot."

We both chuckled. "Listen…I…I'm sorry for trying to kiss you. That was completely out of line and I will never—" Bella cut me off by raising her lips to mine. I froze for a heart beat before I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her towards me. Her lips were warm, and soft and moist. She didn't taste like ham and cheese like I did, she tasted like vanilla.

Her lips parted and she sighed, moving away from me. She stayed in my arms as I sat there, shocked. I had to get her back to her car, I had to get away from her. That kiss…it was beyond amazing and I wanted to do that with her for the rest of my life. I wanted those lips for my own…and not for a play toy, or for fun, but because I was staring to _care_. My heart tattooed against my chest. "I should…take…you…" The words died as I looked down at her bleeding forehead. "You need to go to the hospital. You need stitches."

"No hospitals!" she said immediately. She didn't elaborate why.

"Okay…well, I have the tools necessary to do it myself at my office. Carlisle always keeps medical supplies at the funeral home." You'd be surprised how many people needed stitches after seeing their loved one in their casket. More people faint than you'd realize.

Bella's head rested on my chest and her head bobbed up and down. "All right."

I hugged her tight against me for a moment and then stood, holding a hand out to help her up. She took it and I pulled her to her feet.

The drive back to the funeral home was quiet. But one thing was different on this ride than previously. We held hands like we were in sixth grade…and I liked it. I fucking loved it, actually. Pussy whipped wasn't accurate enough. I was fucking lip whipped! I hadn't even gone beyond a simple kiss and she had me. In that second, I realized it wasn't by the balls she had me…not at all. It was by my fucking heart. I was glad Alice could only see the future based on actions, not the feelings behind those actions. Could she see me killing Mike? Because I had seriously considered it at that point.

Inside the funeral home, I grabbed Carlisle's medical bag out of his office and took her downstairs where we embalmed the bodies. I didn't have to take her down there, but I wanted to see how tolerant she was with the dead.

She didn't say a word about the body lying on the embalming table. I had covered him with a sheet earlier that day. She hopped up on one of the counters and I pulled a medical light over to her face and shown it on her injury. It wasn't that bad, head wounds just bleed more. I cleaned around her head, and she winced a few times, but she was silent.

"I'm going to numb the area, okay?"

She nodded. "I hate needles. Please be gentle."

I was very careful to pick spots that wouldn't cause her much pain. I shot the fluid in more than one area around her temple before I capped it and threw it away in the biomedical trash.

"You're done?" she wondered. "I didn't feel a thing."

I smiled at her. "Good, then I accomplished my job."

I got to work on her head, being very careful and trying to make it look as nice as possible. I didn't want her to have any ghastly scars after this; her face was too beautiful to be marred by something as trivial as falling down the stairs.

"I'm sorry that I kissed you," she blurted.

I paused and looked at her between my arms that were raised to her head. "I'm not," I replied firmly.

"It wasn't fair to either of us," she continued, oblivious to my words. "I can't give you any kind of relationship. I'm married." Her voice sounded resentful. She didn't like being married to Mike. That made me happy.

"Listen, Bella…I…like you. A lot, actually." I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, but they were genuine. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but I would like to see you again." I cut the last stitch and wiped around the area one more time before I gathered my tools.

She placed a hand on my forearm. "Edward." Her eyes darted down to the ground. "I want to see you again, too."

We didn't say anything else as we ascended the stairs. I opened the creaking front door for her and she pivoted in the doorway, planted a kiss on my cheek, turned, and walked away.

As I watched her leave, a barrage of thoughts assaulted my mind. But the image that continued to pop into my head more than the rest, was me with black wings, and Bella in my arms, her blood coated down my arm as I plunged a knife in deeper. Was that what I would be to her? Her Angel of Death? I really didn't know, and being uncertain scared me more than anything else had.

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_For the __Angel of Death __spread his wings on the blast_.—Lord Byron

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**A/N:** Wow! The responses to this story have been fantastic. By the way, we are writing an extra for this chapter. It will be a lemon, where instead of Bella and Edward leaving before the tour even begins, they go do other things… *waggles eyebrows* To read it, you must donate $5 to the Haiti fund. Check out the link on our profile.

Those who review this chapter will receive a preview for the next! So, PLEASE REVIEW! (If you review w/o a FF account, we are sorry; there is no option for us to reply to your review. We still appreciate it.)

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	8. 7 Passion and Fury

**Wicked Angel**

**7. Passion and Fury**

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_It all was so simple then_

_When it all began and I was your smile_

_And now you're just words in stone_

_You're dust and bones_

_And I'll join you there in time—Saliva_

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After Bella left, I needed something to distract my mind. All of these emotions that I was feeling were so new to me, and they were making me feel so out of control. I was always a person who controlled every aspect of my life. Alice called it OCD, but whatever the fuck it was, it always worked for me. Bella was pulling the rug out from under my completely composed world and I wasn't sure how to handle it. Normally, I would have hated that shit, but when it came to Bella, dare I say…_I liked it?_

So in an attempt to try and clear my head and not think about what happened this afternoon, I engulfed myself in work. I headed back downstairs to where I had stitched Bella's head up. I cleaned up the counter where the bandage packages and numbing medication bottles were. After that was straightened out, I turned and made my way over to the table where I had the body waiting for me to embalm.

When I removed the sheet, I stared down at old Mr. Brown. He was the uncle of a guy I went to school with. He was pretty much always known as the town drunk, so it didn't surprise me during his autopsy to find he died of cirrhosis of the liver. Normally I wouldn't conduct an autopsy for someone his age who had the reputation he had with alcohol, but his family had insisted…so I had no choice. His funeral was to be held in two days, so I went to work prepping his body for the wake being held the next day.

When the embalming process was complete, I walked into the room adjacent to my work space and opened the door to the closet that held the clothes the family members had provided me to dress their loved ones for wakes and funerals. I pushed aside the one that was wrapped in plastic, wondering to myself when the hell Jacob was going to get back to me on that. I hated when he had me start a job but didn't tell me when the hell we were going to execute it.

I finally found the suit that Mr. Brown's sister had dropped off to me the day before. I grabbed it and headed back into the other room to dress him. When I was done, I left a note for Charlotte, the woman who owned the local beauty salon in town. She did work for me on the side; she came in to do the hair and makeup for anyone who was going to be displayed at a viewing or funeral. I wrote instructions of how I wanted it done and posted it to the bulletin board where I always left my notes for her.

Charlotte was a fine piece of ass. I had hit that shit for years. She would normally come and work after hours since that was when she was done working at her salon, so I didn't always see her. But there were a few times that I was still there when she came in and…well, let's just say I fucked her more than once in the embalming room. Some people might think that is sick as hell, but when you work around that shit, it feels just the same as it would if I were a lawyer fucking my secretary over the desk in my office.

About a year ago, Charlotte got involved with—and later engaged to—some local hometown boy who had graduated a few years after I did. She told me that she really needed the extra money and wanted to keep her job working for me, but she couldn't continue our sexual relationship. I'd be lying if I had said I wasn't a little disappointed. I mean, I had no feelings for her, but she was a good fuck. She was probably one of my top three…but I would live, unlike some people I knew…. I had more than enough pussy to satisfy me. However, ever since then I made sure I wasn't around when she was there working because it just made it easier not to be tempted.

After I left my note for Charlotte, I closed all the lights, headed upstairs to grab my coat and keys, and started toward my car to go home. I still had so much pent up anxiety and frustration from my afternoon with Bella that I needed something to distract me and give me an outlet. As if someone was reading my mind, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket right before I was able to pull out of the lot at work. When I saw that it was a text from Jacob, I put the car back into park so I could read it. "Seahawks need a better quarterback." This was a twist on our other cryptic talk…"Seahawks need a better running back." Changing it to "quarterback" meant it wasn't a new job; it was a job he had already told me about that he was finally giving me the green light to proceed and complete.

I wrote back, "I concur," to let him know I received his message. I jumped out of my car and quickly ran back into my office. I ran down the stairs, opened the closet with the clothes again, and removed the mechanic coveralls that were wrapped in plastic. When I got back to my car, I hung the garment in the back, and made my way into town towards _Jerry's Garage._

When I hit Main Street, about three blocks away from where the garage was, my phone started to buzz again. I didn't even need to look at the screen to know who it was. "So what's the game plan, Alice?"

"Well, the garage is closed but I see Jerry staying there a little bit late tonight. He is supposed to be meeting with Paul, who owes money for the football game he bet on—and lost—last week. I see him leaving in approximately a half hour. There is a window towards the back that will be unlocked. You can easily slip through it, swap the coveralls, and be out of there in less than two minutes."

"Sounds easy enough," I muttered into the phone. "Thanks Alice."

"Don't mention it," she said before hanging up. Always short and to the point; that was what I loved about her.

Jerry was the local mechanic. He also worked for Jacob as a bookie. It had come to Jacob's attention several months ago that Jerry may have been skimming off the top of the money he was collecting from losing bets. Jacob paid off a few of Jerry's employees to keep a close eye on what was going on. Jacob soon found out that Jerry would say people weren't paying him back on bets, when they really were, and he was keeping the money.

That was when Jacob came to me and told me to prepare things on my end because Jerry's days were numbered. I knew just the way I was going to off this guy. I had read about it in one of my urban legend books years ago and had anxiously wanted to use it, but it would be tricky because I needed an article of clothing from the person that I was sure they would wear.

The plan called for me soaking an article of their clothes in the solution I used for embalming. Once the person put the clothes on, their normal body heat would start to draw the chemical into their system. They would begin to feel sick, and eventually the poison would start to shut down their organs…ultimately killing them. Using this on a mechanic was almost too easy because they always wore their coveralls when working. So I had an exact duplicate of the set Jerry wore. Now I just had to wait until he left so I could slip in and swap the ones he normally wore—that were in his locker—with the ones I had soaked in the solution. I would hold on to the ones I took out of his locker, so when they brought his body in to me, I could give the coveralls that were not soaked in poison to the family. I would then have Emmett burn the evidence.

I parked my car up the street. I was far enough away that Jerry wouldn't see me when he walked out, but close enough that I could see when he left. After a half hour—just like Alice predicted—the lights switched off and Jerry walked through the front of the garage. He stopped to lock the door behind him and then made his way into his truck. Even though it was dark, I saw him pull a pint bottle out of his glove compartment, taking a gulp before pulling out of the lot. I hoped he wouldn't die in a drunk-driving accident before I had the chance to kill him. That would just be a shame.

When I saw his taillights disappear around the corner, I waited an additional five minutes just to be safe, grabbed the coveralls from the back, and after removing the plastic covering, I slid out of my car. I made my way towards the garage being overly cautious. I had rubber surgical gloves on—to ensure I left no finger prints—as I slipped around back to try each of the four windows to see which one was unlocked like Alice had said. The third one I tried easily rose up and I climbed through with ease.

Even though I knew I was alone, I made as little fucking nose as possible as I made my way towards the room I knew held their lockers. I quickly scanned the names on the outside of them and found Jerry's. I opened it and swiftly made the swap. Without any hesitation or lingering, I filed my way back to the window I had come in through, slipped out, and advanced toward my car.

Now all we could do was wait.

I texted Jacob and Alice to ask what the weather was supposed to be like tomorrow...code for "job executed." It didn't escape my mind that the normal rush I would feel from pulling off something like this was missing. I chalked it up to be being exhausted from all the events that occurred today. I decided that the best thing I could do was call it an early night and head home to sleep.

When I pulled into my driveway my cell phone buzzed. I looked down and saw a text from Tanya.

"_I'm on my way home from work. I could leave the back door unlocked."_

Normally after a job, I was so turned on from the adrenaline rush that a call from Tanya was just the invitation I wanted—if I hadn't initiated contact with her first—but for some reason I found no appeal in going to her house tonight…_or at all_. What the hell was happening to me? I just needed to go home and rest. Tomorrow would be a new day and I had to keep on my game so when Jerry's body was brought in, I could take care of that situation with no mistakes.

"_Not tonight," _I wrote back, and shut my phone off.

~*~

I woke the next morning feeling refreshed and invigorated. I knew that Jerry would die today and the thought excited me. I always loved when a murder was carried through, and the excitement of waiting to get word was enough to make me almost fucking giddy like a little kid.

Around noon, Alice stopped by my office with lunch to let me know that an ambulance had been sent to Jerry's Garage about a half hour before and he was rushed to the hospital.

It was only a matter of time now.

We sat down at the table across from each other to eat. She looked up at me and I knew she was going to start her bitching.

I was right.

"Edward, don't think I am letting you off the hook for the stunt you pulled yesterday," she snapped at me. "What the fuck were you thinking inviting her over for lunch? And not only that, but you are lucky I didn't bash you in the skull with a blunt object for the way you basically threw me out of the house."

I took a deep breath before responding to her. I knew that no matter what I said at this point, she would either know I was lying, or be pissed at the truth. So I decided to go with the truth…well the semi-truth…because I couldn't win either way.

"Alice, I know I have fucked up. I am well aware of this fact without you having to bring it up and throw it in my face every fucking chance you get. It's too late to go back and do things differently, so I just have to adjust my plan and try this from a different angle. She knows me now, and I know I have always been careful to not have any type of personal relationship with someone we are doing a job on, but this is a small town. So, if there is one victim out of hundreds that I do know, would it really be that unusual in a town this size? I don't think it would raise any more flags than if I didn't know her at all."

Alice looked at me, contemplating what I said. "I see your point Edward, but what you are not considering is that you are getting _too_ close to her. This is not about you just passing her in town or running into her in the library and chatting. This is about her showing up at your work and you inviting her to your home for lunch. It only takes one person in this town to see you two in a much more compromising position than a casual 'hi', to get all the nosey-ass housewives talking."

"Look!" I snapped. "I know what I'm doing, so just get off my fucking back. Seriously Alice, I've had just about enough of you where this is concerned. I can't take a shit without you breathing down my neck. Just back the fuck off!"

But she was right. I had to be careful.

Regardless, I was steaming mad. Alice had always been my confidante. She'd always helped me out in our little side business, but I was sick of feeling constantly watched by her. I know I had messed up…_a lot_…with this job, but I needed her to just trust that I would follow through and take care of this in the end.

Alice got up from the table and walked around so she was standing in front of me. Her eyes were almost black as she narrowed in on me and clenched her fists at her side. "This is _not_ just about you," she said through clenched teeth. "We are all in this together, and if you go down, we _all_ go down." I watched her body clench with rage, so I stayed quiet, knowing this wasn't the right time to fight back with her.

After a moment, she started to relax. She bent down in front of me and looked up into my eyes. Her expression softened and she reached out and grabbed my hands from my lap. "Edward, I'm just scared. You are making such careless mistakes. I have never seen you like this before. I have never seen a girl have this kind of effect on you. It makes me worry that when push comes to shove, you won't be able to go through with it."

I started to open my mouth in response but she lifted her hand and covered my mouth to stop my words.

"I know that her husband is a real asshole, and that he deserves to die more than her, but unfortunately that is not the job we were hired for. We were hired to kill her, we accepted, and now we need to follow through.

She looked down at her feet for a moment but then looked back up again at my face.

"I'm going to trust you. You have never let me down once in our entire lives. You have always been the person I have trusted more than anyone else in the entire world, and I have no reason to believe that you will let me down now. So, if you tell me that you know what you are doing and can handle this…I will trust you; I will back off."

She smiled at me slightly and I smiled back at her. I kissed the top of her head while giving her hands a gentle squeeze. She stood up, grabbed her coat and keys, and started walking towards the front door. When she got to the door, she opened it and turned back towards me. "Get the phone would ya? It's for you," she told me before walking out and closing the door behind her. And just like that, the phone started to ring and I just shook my head laughing, because she never ceased to amaze me with her abilities. When I answered the phone, it was the hospital notifying me that I was to come down and pick up the body of Jerry the Mechanic. Well…I guess he wasn't a mechanic anymore, was he?

~*~

The rest of the day went by quickly. I picked up Jerry and brought him to my office where I quickly discarded the coveralls that he had on. Emmett came over to take them from me and he left to go and "get rid of them."

I performed an autopsy and came to the conclusion that he died of cardiac arrest. I filled out all the necessary paper work that would be needed to file his death certificate. I covered his body, closed up the office, and made my way out to my car. It had been another long day and I should have been exhausted, but instead I was feeling the rush again. I knew all I needed was to carry out a job successfully to get my blood flowing again. I was feeling exuberant.

I decided that instead of heading home, I was going to drive to Port Angeles and do a little shopping, perhaps have a bite to eat and a few drinks.

As I drove, I received a text from Alice. _"Congrats on a successful day. Which hooch are you going to 'celebrate' with tonight?"_

I had to laugh. Alice knew me so well. She knew that whenever we pulled off a successful job, I would usually call up one of my "girls" to help celebrate since my body got turned on from the rush of what we accomplished. I texted her back with one hand while steering with the other. _"Actually, no one. I'm on my way into P.A. Gonna treat myself to dinner and perhaps a new Rolex."_

It took a few minutes for Alice to return my text. I knew she was confused at the fact that I wasn't already over at Tanya or Leah's house by now, but I just wasn't in the mood for them at the moment. Plus, after Jacob had my left-overs, I wasn't sure I wanted to ever fuck Leah again.

I heard my phone buzz again, finally. _"P.A. you say, huh? I'm not going to bust your balls. The only thing I am going to say is…just use your head. Talk to you later."_

I had no idea what she was talking about, so I shook my head and tossed my phone into the glove compartment. I didn't want to be bothered by anyone else tonight. I just wanted to treat myself to the Rolex I had been admiring in the window of a jewelry store in Port Angeles for some time now, and to have a nice relaxing dinner.

When I pulled into the city, I found a sweet parking spot on the street. I jumped out and started to walk towards the jewelry store. I was fucking starving, but I figured if I ate first, I would risk the chance of the store being closed. When I arrived in front of the store, I stood outside and looked at the display window, making sure that the one I wanted was in fact the best one they had.

"Will you just shut up about it," I heard a man say.

"We are right here. What's the harm in just taking a look in the store?" a woman replied back. I knew that voice.

"What's the point in looking at fucking baby furniture when we are not having kids any time soon," he spat back. Rude fucker.

Now I was curious, so I looked up from where I had been gazing at watches and immediately I stiffened, partly from shock and partly from anger. There, standing at the other end of the block, was Mike and Bella.

"I just thought…that maybe…well…if you looked around the store and saw all the cute stuff they have, that maybe it would inspire you again to want kids now rather than later." Bella looked at him, almost pleading at him with her eyes. It broke my heart.

Again with the heart-breaking…

"Well, it won't," he said dismissively as he started to walk again.

Bella's head dropped forward and she looked down at the ground. I saw her bring her hands up and wipe under her eyes. She was no doubt wiping away tears. She then composed herself, stood up straight, and started following after Mike in the direction he was heading.

In my direction.

Before I could even think twice about what I was doing, I stepped away from the window I had been looking in, and stood to face the direction of the two of them. "Well hello there," I said as calmly and smoothly as I could.

When Mike looked up and saw it was me, he stopped short in his tracks like a deer in headlights. Bella skidded to a stop right behind him as well; her eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

"You two are from Forks, aren't you?" I asked. "I'm Edward Cullen. I recognized you both from seeing you around town. I work quite closely with your father, seeing that I am the Medical Examiner," I said to Bella.

When they both realized I was playing dumb, they seemed to relax. Each one of them thought I was pretending not to know who they were for the sake of the other.

Bella relaxed much more so than Mike seemed to. _Prick. _It would be so easy for me to make that son-of-a-bitch shit his pants right now if I really wanted to. I'm sure he probably at least pissed himself a little when he saw it was me.

"Why yes, Edward, I have heard about you from my father. He knows your dad quite well, too." She smiled sweetly at me. She was standing behind Mike who was unable to notice our exchange. I looked at Bella without smiling, but she understood why I couldn't. She gave me a little wink. Something weird surged through my stomach at the gesture. I'd never felt it before. Maybe I was hungrier than I realized…except this was pleasant.

"Uh…Bella," Mike stuttered out, "we should really get going. I'm really hungry and we have reservations at 6:30. It was nice to see you Mr. Cullen," he said, obviously shaken. He walked passed me and Bella started to follow. As she made her way past me, I reached out and grabbed her hand. We both held on until she was far enough away so our fingers just slipped from each other's.

Bella looked back at me from over her shoulder and smiled…holding my gaze until she turned the corner to follow Mike.

I gulped. I was in too deep, but all I could think about doing was digging deeper.

~*~

After I left the jewelry store wearing my new watch, I headed around the corner and into the local pub. They had the best hamburgers in town, and quite frankly, I was fucking starving. Since I was alone, I chose to sit at the bar and eat. I placed my food order and asked for a scotch on the rocks while I waited. The back of the bar was a mirror, so as I looked at it, I took in all of my surroundings behind me in the restaurant.

I recognized some people from Forks, but most of the people there looked like locals of Port Angeles. As I scanned the last rows of booths in the back, I saw that Mike and Bella were seated there eating dinner. Bella looked miserable and Mike just sat there, shoveling food into his fucking pie hole. _God, what did she ever see in that fucking loser?_

Bella didn't seem to be eating. She was just pushing her food around on her plate. All of a sudden, her eyes snapped up, meeting mine in the mirror. She sat up straight and held her gaze to mine. A soft, slight smile crept across her lips. Mike finally said something to her and before he had a chance to look up at her, the smile and her gaze fell away from me as she looked at him.

Whatever he said to her made her nod her head and reach for her purse. He snapped his fingers, calling the waitress over to their table. He must have asked for the check because the waitress dug through her apron and pulled it out before she placed it down on the table closest to Mike.

What happened next had me seeing red. He got up, grabbed his coat, and told Bella he would wait outside for her while he had a smoke. Bella nodded and said she would be right out; she just needed to use the ladies room. When Mike walked away, she leaned over the table and grabbed the bill. She looked at it, pulled money out of her wallet, and placed it on the table. She stood and made her way into the ladies room.

That little fucker! Not only was he going to ring her dry by having her killed for her money, but he was also going to take her for what she had while she was still alive. He couldn't even pay for fucking dinner?

That was it; I couldn't take anymore. I pushed my chair back away from the bar and stood up, turning to face the tables. I was standing in the middle of the room looking back and forth from one end of the pub to the other. One direction was the restrooms; the other was the front door. Each direction held a different option as to what I was going to do. Now I just needed to choose which option I was going to take tonight.

I made my decision and I was off. I got to the door, but it opened before I had a chance to push it myself. Bella was shocked as I pushed her carefully back into the ladies room. When we were inside, I kicked the door closed behind me and reached back and locked it. I put my hands on either side of her face and crashed my lips to hers. Her hands were immediately in my hair and we were kissing each other with passion and fury.

After several minutes, I pulled my lips away from hers and rested my forehead against hers, keeping my eyes closed. We were both panting heavily, trying to steady ourselves and our breaths. I had never kissed a woman so passionately.

Without removing my forehead from hers, I opened my eyes and looked straight into hers.

"You deserve so much better than him," I said to her before bringing my lips down and gently kissing her.

With that, I dropped my hands and stepped back. Bella and I gazed at each other for a few seconds before I turned, unlocked the door, and walked out.

I left out the back door because I knew in that moment…if I saw Mike Newton…he would be leaving in a body bag.

* * *

_I must tell you that I was always afraid of the __fury__ with which I loved you. It overwhelmed me. I thought it beyond comprehension, therefore my silence_.—Henry Rollins

* * *

**A/N:** MsKathy's Twi FanFic Haiti Relief Fund is still going on! Please, make a $5 donation and receive an alternate ending to the previous chapter, "Angel of Death." We promise lemony goodness! Please check out our profile, where a link to her blog is set up. Thank you to all who have already donated. As of 01/22/10 we are at $36,000. Haiti is in shambles, and even a little bit helps.

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	9. 8 Soulful Brown Eyes

**Wicked Angel**

**8. Soulful Brown Eyes**

_Every day a new deception__  
Pick your scene and take direction  
And on and on I search to connect  
But I don't wear a mask and I have no regrets_

—Shinedown

* * *

The stench of old cigarettes and ashes lingered in the air so thick inside the Volturi's Nest that I could have sliced through it and served it on a platter. _"Here you go, sir. Stale cigarettes with a bit of lung cancer on the side."_ The place was absolutely disgusting.

I tried to maneuver around the nutshells that had been carelessly thrown to ground. The task proved impossible. It certainly wasn't my favorite place to hang out, but it was where a lot of shady business took place, from drug deals to death contracts. And I was one to fulfill those contracts. It all depended on who you knew and how much they trusted you. There were occasions when people found out too much information, information that they couldn't fucking handle. And, well, let's just say I had to "handle" them.

Normally this was Jacob's realm, but from time to time, I felt the need to interact with the type of people we were doing business with. I needed to know I could trust that my shady deals wouldn't go South due to a loose-lipped moron.

I glanced around the smoked-engulfed room for Alice. She insisted we come here together tonight. I spotted her chatting closely with the new bartender. She made me kill the old bartender, Jane Volturi. I still don't have all of her reasons, but I trusted her more than anyone.

She was such a flirt.

I walked up quietly, not wanting to interrupt. Who was I kidding? She knew I was going to be there before I ever stepped foot into the bar.

"So, Jazzy…think we could meet later tonight?" Alice practically purred as she traced her hand down his chest. He smiled at her before removing her hand.

"Not tonight, Ally," he said sweetly. Alice began her silly little whine. The one she did when things weren't going her way. Hell, I was just surprised she didn't slap him for the "Ally" nickname that we all knew she hated.

I cleared my throat behind them with a smug look. Perhaps she didn't know I would be there after all? Huh. Paybacks are a bitch.

"Edward!" she said excitedly as she engulfed me in a hug.

"Ally?" I whispered questioningly in her ear.

"Shit, he can call me whatever he wants…did you see him?" she whispered back while checking out his ass as he stacked some glasses behind the bar.

"Jazz!" she called to him to catch his attention. He turned to her quickly. "This is my best friend in the whole world, Edward! Edward, this is Jazzy Jasper. He keeps turning me down for dates but one of these days he is gonna give in"—she pointed to her eyes—"I can see it."

"It's nice to meet you." I extended my hand to him. His grip was firm and his eyes met mine; they didn't waver. His arms were covered in scars and I wondered what they were from. I liked him already. Not many people could look me in the eye like that. Plus, he said "no" to Alice, a big bonus in my opinion. Besides me, I don't think anyone else had ever shot her down.

"You too, I've heard so much about you. You can call me Jasper." I thought it was kind of odd that I hadn't heard much about him. Did the little pixie have a secret of her own?

"Huh, _Ally _here, hasn't mentioned you at all…funny," I said while I looked at Alice quizzically. "How about a scotch on the rocks?" I asked _Jazzy_ Jasper. I wanted to roll my eyes at that nickname; it seemed so childish and silly on that man with all his scars.

I sat down at the bar, tossed a hundred dollar bill up, and waited for my drink. Jasper placed the glass in front of me and I thanked him with a nod as he gave me my change.

"Jazz is having a hard day. He has a funeral to go to with his sister, Rosalie, in the morning. It's awful, her boss was just found dead at his garage. Such a sin." Yes, it was. A sinful pleasure.

Regardless of the flutter of excitement that ran through me, I knitted my eyebrows together not understanding what the fuck she was getting at.

"Turns out, you are not as smart as we all give you credit for. Isabella Newton...her friends are Rosalie and Jasper Hale," she said quietly.

I almost corrected her, but I didn't think saying. "Her name is Bella" wouldn't have earned me any points in her book. Instead I said, "Oh, so I guess I will see her at the funeral." I took a gulp of my drink, my eyes not leaving the alcohol-covered ice cubes. That stupid tingling anticipation ran down into my stomach and twisted pleasantly. I narrowed my eyes at the table like I was bidden to remember every imperfection of the wood.

"And give the boy a golden ticket, he finally got it!" Alice inflected sarcastically. "_And _her husband will be there too, so you better behave. Plus, I think you are going to need some assistance with it all. And what do you know, I have no problem helping out." I wondered what "helping" meant in her mind.

"I told you, I don't need a babysitter," I said through clenched teeth. I picked up my scotch and took a few hefty swigs until it was gone. I pushed it to the bar edge to indicate that I wanted another one.

"Oh, I have come to the conclusion that you couldn't give two shits what I say when it comes to Isabella Newton, so I give up." She raised her hands like I had pulled a gun and pointed it at her. "You do what you have to do to get _that_ taken care of, and if you must fuck her first, so be it. And, hey, maybe tape it, there's a huge market for snuff." She huffed angrily at me, her voice growing more sardonic and annoyed as she rambled on. "It isn't _always_ about _you_! I just want to be there when Jasper needs someone to hug." She waved at him with a little wink.

I heard the door open and quickly looked to see who had walked in. All I could see was luscious blonde hair, striking blue eyes, perfectly natural C cups, and lean legs that went on forever. Beautiful creature. Fuckable. She just wasn't _quite _perfect. Perfection walked in behind her. Subtle beauty. Timeless beauty. Natural Beauty. _My_ Bella.

The blonde sashayed right up to Jasper. He gave her a big hug. "How you doing little sister?"

"As well as can be expected, I suppose. Part of me knows he is gone…but I am just in shock. I don't really believe it."

"Edward?" I heard my name fall off her lips like a symphony. I wasn't sure what to do…stand and hug her? Be nonchalant about it? I pivoted in my seat. I had no choice; I couldn't ignore her. Hell, I didn't _want_ to ignore her.

My eyes flickered around the bar. No one was paying attention to us. Good. I stood, embraced her, and kissed her sweet fucking cheek. "Bella," I said offering her my bar stool. There wasn't another one available. I would stand.

"Thank you," she said and took a seat. "Jazz, can I get a skinny margarita, please?" She placed a crumpled up ten dollar bill on the bar. I was not about to let her pay for it while I was there.

Jasper went to take the money, but I stopped him. "Ladies' drinks are on me," I told him as I pushed the remainder of my hundred further up the bar. "And I will have what she is having," I said, smiling at Bella.

"You didn't have to do that," she said, shaking her head.

"I wanted to."

"Oh, well, thank you."

"So, um…what is a skinny margarita?" I wondered.

She opened her mouth to answer, but Jasper placed two tall, cylindrical shot glasses before us with salt lining the rims. Bella reached for the glass, licked the salt from the side, and took a sip. I nearly fell out of my chair. Good god, she was fucking hot. Her eyes shot to my face, my jaw hanging out on the bar, and smiled at me. "It's tequila and squeezed lime."

I closed my mouth, mimicked what she did, and let the drink burn down my throat. Jesus. She didn't go for the girlie shit. Any second I expected her to order a whiskey.

"So, do you hang out here a lot? This isn't exactly the safest bar," I scolded.

"Not normally, but Rosalie's boss just passed away and her twin, Jasper, works here. So, yeah, sometimes we get stuck coming here for a little bit. We just keep to ourselves. My Dad has pretty much told me who to stay away from here," she explained while taking a long sip from her shot glass.

"So, I guess I will be seeing you…at the funeral tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course I will be there," she answered and pivoted in the bar stool so she was facing me. Her back was against the bar. She rested her elbows on the bar and smiled at me. The fucking innocent smile that makes me fucking weak in the knees. The one where I feel desperate to remove her lips from her teeth and suck them into my mouth.

"Well, would you think I was completely screwed up if I said I couldn't wait to see you then?"

Bella swallowed another large gulp of her liquid-courage. "Is it wrong that I am excited to go to a funeral?" she cleverly retorted. She came forward on the stool, placing her palms on the side of the chair. We were inches apart.

"Why can't I stay away from you?" I asked. I placed my hands in my pockets because they had a fucking mind of their own and wanted to brush back her hair, or caress her cheek, or something equally romantic. But shit, we were in public.

"B! What the fuck?" the beautiful blonde, and obviously bitch, interrupted us.

Bella looked at her sideways like "what the fuck?"

"Jasper, me, you, the funeral tomorrow?" Blondie raised her eyebrows. "I'm afraid Jasper is gonna have like a panic attack half way through it. All those funerals he had to go to when half his squad was killed in Iraq. We came for moral support and you're off flirting with," she stopped mid-sentence to wave her hands dramatically around me.

"Edward Cullen…funeral director for tomorrow's service," I said and extended my hand. She shook my hand quickly.

"Not that I care that you are flirting - we all know how I feel about that piece of shit that tricked you into marriage - but Jasper's panic attacks are just starting to die down and I don't want him to miss the funeral, or get stuck with cold sweets while he tries to find some place to 'take cover.'"

Bella let out a laugh. "BELLA!" Blondie exclaimed. "It's not fucking funny! This is serious!"

"I know, Rosalie."—so that was her name—"I'm sorry, it's just…funny, too," she said while laughing a little harder. "I'll be over in a minute Rose. Once I compose myself, I will put on my counselor cap, or some shit."

I watched Rosalie—Rose—huff away. Bella sipped down the last of her drink. I took the shot glass and placed it on the bar with mine. "Another round, please," I yelled out to Jasper.

"What the fuck was that all about?" I asked with a laugh.

"Oh! Jasper? When I first met him, it was here in this bar, and some asshole shot like blanks or something and he grabbed me and was like 'take cover!' I was laughing so hard; I was so drunk. I kept trying to get loose, but he was holding me so tight and was genuinely scared shitless. Of course, later, I came to find out he was all fucked up over the war and it wasn't funny, but I can't control it when I think of that night, especially when I am getting buzzed," she giggled as she held up her fresh shot glass. She took a few sips.

"Laughter is better than tears, it heals better I think. As long as he is laughing with you," I told her.

"He is," she said looking at him with a big smile. _My_ smile. I wanted to own that smile. I was a total goner.

"I could help, ya know, with whatever tonight. I do deal with death everyday. What were you going to talk about?"

"Jasper likes to ask us how we want to die…or if we are scared or whatever. I don't know. It's odd, but if it helps him…I mean everyone is scared to die, it's natural."

"I'm not," I told her bluntly. "Haven't found my reason to live yet," I admitted. But as I looked in her eyes, I was pretty fucking sure she _was_ my reason.

She placed her hand over mine and said, "You'll find it." She stood and walked to the other side of the bar to talk with Rosalie and Jasper. Even Alice was getting into that action. Maybe she was falling for Bella too? Could they be friends? I shook my head. Nah.

I went through a mini counseling session of my own in my head. First step to overcome my problem was to admit I had a problem: I am Edward Cullen and I have fallen head-over-fucking-heels in love with Isabella Newton. There, I admitted it. Now all I had to do was get over her so I could finish my job. Do what needed to be done.

Another skinny margarita and two SoCo and Limes later, and Bella was officially drunk. However, she wasn't the unattractive, sloppy drunk, with a wonky eye, and slurring her words. No, _my_ Bella had to be a sexy, flirtatious one, full of fire and flashing me her gorgeous smile whenever we made eye contact. I was at one end of the bar talking with Jasper about his tour in Iraq and how he felt relieved to be home, but couldn't help feel guilty having to leave his men, his friends, behind.

Occasionally, Alice would come over and hang all over Jasper, desperate to get in his pants. Jasper was eating Alice's shit up with a spoon, giving right back as much as he got. Oh yes, my fiery little pixie was spreading her evil fairy dust in a swirling cloud right over Jasper's head. Soon, he would be completely entranced, oblivious to the fact that there would be no other women for him. I actually hoped that he planned on treating Alice right. Otherwise, Emmett and I would have to murder him, if Alice didn't get to him first. What could I say? I liked the guy, got a good vibe off him, so I was only wishing him the best.

When Alice completely monopolized Jasper's attention, I stole a glance in Bella's direction, not liking what was playing out in front of me. Rose was chatting it up with some big oaf, while his slimy friend was standing way too close to Bella, invading her precious space. _What the fuck? That's my personal space!_ Just when I was about to stalk over there like a fucking leopard because that dickhead's hands were dangerously close to touching Bella's upper thighs, I heard Alice's voice call over me, "Hey! Peter, Garrett, get over here. You have to see Jasper's new tattoo—it's fucking awesome!"

I stayed where I was, planted on the ground not five feet away from my friend, when I turned to face her. Sure enough, she had a knowing smirk splayed on her face. She fucking knew I was about to light up that asshole's world for touching Bella. This also confirmed that she was going to lay off me for wanting to get close to her. I needed to play my cards right, keep my hand close to me, or else Alice would know that I had already fallen for my beautiful brunette.

"You're welcome," Alice stated, winking and nodding in Bella's direction. I was relieved to see Garrett and Peter retreating from Rosalie and Bella. That guy had no idea he was just blessed by an angel . . . an evil angel.

I sauntered over to where the girls were. Bella spotted me and whispered into her friend's ear. Upon hearing what Bella had to say, Rosalie shot a piercing, eye-slitting glance my way. She rolled her eyes and shook her head and turned back to Bella.

"Just be careful, Bella. You are walking a very fine line right now. I love you and I don't want to see you get burned," I heard her warn her friend.

Rosalie shot up from her stool, whipped her head around dramatically—which caused her long hair to narrowly brush against my face—and glared at me. I wanted to wind that pretty, thick hair of hers around my hand and yank the ever loving shit out of it, causing her to go bald. I wanted to inflict such pain on her it almost made my dick hard . . . almost, but it was still resting, craving attention from another.

Rosalie stood tall and stuck her full breasts up in the air in front of me. "She's drunk and, so help me, if you make her do anything she will regret in the morning, I'm going to break you. I don't fucking care how attractive she thinks you are or how much I would love for that fucktard of a husband of hers to be humiliated," she sneered, jabbing her red manicured nail in my chest. "She's off-limits." Oh, how I wish I had a clear plastic bag to pull over her head right so I could watch as all the oxygen left her lungs, leaving her flapping around like a fish out of water until she was lifeless. _Later, Cullen. Hopefully, you'll get your chance to put this bitch to rest._

"She's a good girl, a decent human being, Edward. So just . . . don't, okay?" The bitch drawled on, breaking me from my murderous thoughts.

"Got it, Rosalie. Loud and clear." I smiled my big toothy smile. Thankfully, she was placated enough to walk the fuck away before I lost my cool with her in public.

Bella saw me advance and eyed me up and down, head tilted, with that fucking luscious bottom lip captured between her teeth. She was eye-fucking me, plain and simple, and I desired nothing more than to throw her over my shoulder and haul ass to my house so I could fuck her over and over again. She swiveled on her stool so she could face me completely, opening her legs wide. I couldn't help but to stand as close to her seat as possible so I could be between her legs.

"Hi," she whispered. She was so fucking adorable. _Jesus, the next thing you'll imagine will be cute and fuzzy little bunnies prancing around. Pussy, _my mind chastised me. "I'm drunk." She smiled and reached for the glass of water on the bar in front of her.

I saw her wobble a bit so I reached for the glass, placing it in her delicate hands. When our fingers mingled against one another, Bella let out a soft gasp and closed her eyes. My heart rate sped up like it always did when I touched Bella in even the slightest way. _Hmm…imagine if I touched her in other places, _I wondered briefly, before I was awoken from my thoughts by the sound of my angel.

"I was wondering when you were going to come over and talk to me."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked as I cocked my head to the side and smiled down at her.

"Yeah, I like talking to you . . . among other things." She took a sip of water, her hypnotic eyes peering over the rim of the glass to meet mine. Those eyes. I would never tire of gazing into her soulful brown eyes. They would forever be cemented in my brain and my heart . . . even after I killed her. I couldn't keep the silly fucking smile off my face as I realized that Bella was being a little aggressive. Damn, if that didn't turn me on. My dick sprung to life, begging for some air, for some Bella.

_Down boy, not yet._

She tried to place her glass down, almost tipping it over the side of the bar. I grabbed it just in time, while I steadied her in the process. She wasn't lying. She was _wasted_. I sighed knowing that I would have to be extra careful in following her and Rosalie home to make sure she got home alright, because I knew that fucker, Mike, wouldn't make sure. He was most likely fucking Lauren right now.

Bella stood up a little clumsily and started to walk towards the bathrooms. I followed her down the hall to the back of the place where the restrooms were located. As we passed the men's room, she made a sharp left and slammed the door open.

"Bella, the ladies' room is over—" I warned as she took hold of my arm and pulled me with all her little might through the door. When she got me in there—because let's face it, I didn't put up much of a fight—she closed the door and locked it. She proceeded to push me up against the door, much like what I had previously done to her. I loved this feistiness about her but I knew it was just the alcohol letting her inhibitions get the best of her. My thoughts melded into each other as Bella's petite body was flush against mine, her face so deliciously close to my own. At this point, my dick was already trying to zip down my pants, clawing to have a little taste of Bella. It took all the self-control I had to not rip her clothes off right then and there.

"I'm sorry," my angel seductively breathed, her warm breath fanning my face. She proceeded to rub her hands up and down my chest. I decided it would be safe to place my hands on her hips. I meant to do this carefully, gently, but I gripped them hard instead, effectively molding her against my raging hard-on.

"Mmm . . ." Bella purred. "I just wanted to get you alone so I could kiss you. I want your lips to burn mine like they did my cheek when you touched it a few hours ago. It's been on my mind ever since."

"I've wanted to kiss you, too. And it's always on my mind, even before I saw you tonight," I whispered, my thumbs rubbing deep circles against her hip bones.

"Edward . . . what you do to me . . . I-I've never felt like this before."

Before I could respond, Bella leaned in, snaked her tongue out of her mouth, and proceed to lick the length of my lips.

And I died. She was definitely going to be the death of me if she kept that shit up. It was the single most erotic experience I had ever had, and I'm one sick fuck, so I've had many. But there was something about Bella's boldness, her confidence—even though it was mostly tequila induced—that blew every sexual experience I ever had out of the water. This was just a lick. I tried to imagine what it would feel like when we had sex. Oh, yes, I was still planning on burying my dick inside her, but I also looked forward to taking my time worshipping that sweet body of hers.

I was about to ravish Bella's lips when a hard pounding on the door startled us both.

"Bella! We have to go. Say goodbye now!" Rosalie's voice boomed through the wood causing my angel to giggle.

"Coming Rose," she answered. Her eyes met mine and her sweet smile was erased from her face leaving a veil of sadness in its wake. "I have to go now. I'm sorry for . . . this. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable. I just couldn't help myself."

Uncomfortable? Did she not feel my cock against her? How could she think I was uncomfortable? Of course, I now had a severe case of blue balls, but I could take care of that easily. Regretfully, Bella let go and stepped away from me. I moved to the side so she could pass, and as she did, I linked my fingers with hers and brought her hand to my lips giving it a few wet kisses against her knuckles.

"Bye, Bella," I said huskily. "I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well."

"Bye, Edward," she answered softly, opening the door and walking out. I could hear as Rosalie spoke to her in hushed tones. All I could say was that she had better not been chastising her, or else I was going to fucking kill her.

I was greeted by a grinning Alice when I reappeared at the bar. She was leaning against the bar holding her head with her fist.

"What's got you so happy? Have you found someone for me to kill?" I asked.

"Nope. Just elated with my new friend, Rosalie. She's going to make my job easier and do all my dirty work where you and Bella are concerned. She hates Mike, but I don't think she likes you too much either."

"Whatever. Like I give a shit, Alice. You said you would back off, so do just that . . . back off, all right? Let me handle Bella the way I see fit." And there were several ways that I wanted to handle her.

"Oh I have every intention of doing that, dear friend of mine," the pixie said cryptically. I shrugged it off and left to go home. I needed to jerk off to Bella's lip lick, then try to fall asleep so I could be well rested for the funeral tomorrow.

The fine people of Forks—donned in their dark outfits and sorrowful faces—showed up to pay their respects to the most beloved mechanic in town. What a crock of shit. Jerry was as seedy as they came, which was why he was a perfect bookie for Jake. That was, until Jerry decided to fuck Jake up the ass and steal from him. Yeah, that fucker got his just desserts. Emmett, Jake, Alice, and I had to stifle our chuckles as his sister stepped up to the podium and gave the most vomit-inducing eulogy about her sweet baby brother. This guy had everyone fooled, including my Bella, who was shedding a few tears and sniffling while holding onto Mike's arm. She placed her head on his shoulder as he kissed the top of her head.

_Hold up! What the fuck? _

I saw scarlet. I wanted to cut Mike's lips off with dull scissors. I wanted to claw at his face until there was nothing left. From where I was sitting, Mike and Bella looked like the ideal couple... the way he was now holding her against him, letting her cry on him, Bella leaning on him for support.

My heart clenched and ached with every beat. _I_ wanted to comfort Bella intimately like that. Mike was just playing a part, being the sleaze bag that he actually was. I could be the real thing for Bella. I could hold her in my arms and let her cry . . . or laugh, whatever the fuck she wanted to do. I didn't like this helpless feeling. Someone like me had to constantly remain in control or the consequences were severe. I needed to control the situation. What I needed was Bella, and it was driving me mad.

When she finally let go of Mike, I noticed he shrugged her off like he didn't want her there in the first place. Then I saw Lauren sitting and glaring at the couple, her fists clenched in her lap, ready to pounce and claim Mike as her own.

My eyes bore into Bella's whenever I had the chance. Of course we kept our distance from one another, but that didn't mean I hadn't fantasized about last night. I smirked at the thought, right at the time Bella's eyes captured mine, deep chocolate to emerald. A tiny smile formed on her angelic face, but quickly disappeared as she bowed her head to stare at the floor while her hands twisted. _What was bothering her?_ I had to get her alone to ask, to see if she was okay or needed my help. God, I was hopeless.

It was time to close the viewing room for lunch; family and friends would be allowed back in the late afternoon to say their one last "goodbye" before going to the cemetery. Everyone was gathered outside in the main lobby. Some were sitting and chatting away, while others were outside having a smoke. I was purposely mingling in the lobby because Bella was in the corner speaking with Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett. Rosalie had a toothy smile plastered across her face. Her body was leaning towards Emmett, and she would playfully slap his arm whenever she thought he said something funny. Ah, so Emmett strikes again. I bet he was telling them something funny that happened to him on the road. Whatever it was, Rosalie was eating it up and coming back for seconds, and the look on Emmett's face told me Rosalie was gonna get it and get it real good. This pleased me immensely because my mind quickly surmised that if Alice and Emmett got involved with the brother and sister, not only would they gain more information on Bella, but this paved the way for me to swoop in on her too. Yes, this was playing out very well.

Unsurprisingly, Mike and Lauren had conveniently disappeared. I made my move to strike when Bella was headed towards the restrooms down the hall.

_What the fuck is it with me, Bella, and restrooms? _

Cutting her off at the path, I swiftly grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty viewing room, shutting the doors behind me. She moved ahead of me and when she turned around, I was met with a very perturbed Bella.

"What the hell, Edward!"

"Well, hello to you, too," I smirked.

"Just what kind of stunt are you trying to pull by dragging me in here? What the fuck are you trying to prove?" Bella sneered, crossing her arms. Why was she so cold?

"Jesus, calm down, Bella. I only wanted to get you alone for a few minutes to see if you were okay. I saw you crying before and I didn't like to see you in pain," I explained with a hint of sadness. I felt like a fucking pansy now. Next thing you know, I was going to stammer over my words or some shit.

"Edward, my husband is here…my HUSBAND! Do you understand that taking me into an empty room will only cause suspicion?"

"No, I hadn't given that much thought because I was too busy thinking of having my arms around you instead of that fool you call a husband, who by the way has seemed to disappear, if you haven't noticed! Furthermore, you didn't seem to feel so guilty last night when you pressed your body up against my dick as you licked my lips like an ice cream cone!" I was pissed now. _How could she be like this? Does she still feel anything towards me? I refused to be made a fool of!_

Bella's eyes grew wide, her breathing hitched as she gasped. "Fuck you!" she spat passionately. I couldn't believe that she was speaking to me like this? What was wrong with her? This was not my angelic Bella- this was some evil twin. Don't get me wrong, her feistiness sang a sweet lullaby through my body right to my cock, but this wasn't my Bella.

She turned away to swat a tear from her eye. Her anger was firmly in place when she spoke to me again. "Don't you think that I know my husband is among the missing? Please give me a little credit, would you? It's bad enough that Mike thinks I'm some dipshit who believes every lie he spits out. He thinks I believe that he got a call to go into work? Come on, what does he take me for? I know he's cheating on me! That's why he won't have a baby with me. That's why he treats me like some pariah in bed, barely touching me. I just haven't figured out who it is yet. I haven't found that missing piece to the puzzle, that piece that is destroying my marriage and the man who used to treat me with some respect and love." Upon finishing her words, she let out a sob, holding her head into her hands.

As I went to envelope her in my arms so I could help make the pain go away, she pushed me, hard. I actually stumbled back a bit, a shock registering on my face.

"No! I can't, Edward. I just can't," she said is an angered whisper, "I really like you, too much in fact. But if I give in to those feelings, I'm no better than Mike. I think about you when I lay in bed each night. Hell, I even dream of you, but I refuse to stoop down to his level and cheat. I won't do it Edward, even though Mike is a royal asshole," Bella hung her head as though she felt some sort of shame.

I needed to comfort her, to feel her. I stepped forward again and this time, she let me place my arms around her. "Bella, you could never be like Mike. You are far too beautiful a creature, inside and out, to stoop to his level. I won't have you deny our attraction, Bella. It belittles us both, and I won't have that."

"You won't have that? Who the hell do you think you are? We can't ever be, Edward. I went too far last night and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for leading you on, but you had to have known it was the booze swirling around in my body that was talking."

"You don't mean that, Bella. I can see it in your eyes how you feel about me. Those soulful eyes can never lie to me," I whispered softly, taking her chin and lifting it so I could place a kiss on her plump lips.

Bella pulled back sharply, hitting my chest. "Haven't you heard a fucking word I said? We. Can. Never. Be. Don't try to kiss me again, Edward or so help me…"

"So help you _what_, Bella?"

Bella popped me in the arm. It stung. But really, she didn't hit very hard. Regardless, I just about broke a gasket. "You know what? Fuck you! I'm not going to put up with this shit. I don't need you, and I'm _certainly_ not going to wait around for you until you leave that asshole because it seems as though you are too weak to actually do it! Forget I even tried to console you right now. In fact, forget we ever met!" I stormed out of the room, down the hall, and made my way outside. There weren't as many people around now. I tried to calm my breathing staring out into the road, as a touch to my shoulder startled the living fuck out of me. I turned to see Tanya standing there, smiling.

"Well, hello there. It's been a long time," she purred.

"Tanya," was all I could offer in response.

"I've missed you. I was disappointed that we were unable to meet up the other night. So I was wondering if you were free tonight."

I thought about it for a moment. Bella and I just had a huge argument, one which I wasn't sure if we could recover from. She wanted to basically stay away from me and she was telling me to do the same. It pained me deeply to hear her tell me to never kiss her again. Something had to have happened during the service to make Bella lash out the way she did. Well, now I'll probably never know. What I do know is that I wasn't going to lie down like a little puppy for her so that she could continually rebuff my advances. I still wanted Bella, no fight was going to change that, but I had to leave it in the hands of fate. The proverbial ball was in her court. She would have to come to me. I was going to go about my business, continuing on with the plan of killing her for Mike.

"You know what Tanya? It just so happens that my schedule has suddenly become wide open. Be ready for me at 9:00. Sharp," I commanded, quirking an eyebrow at her. I breezed past Tanya, heading for the door, when she called to me.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I've waxed and I'm ready," she smirked. She was one sexy tomcat. "And when I say ready, I mean really ready." She winked as she turned and walked toward the street where her car was parked. Shit. She was ready. My mind drew a complete blank as to what she was ready for. It was probably something kinky that I had tried getting her to do, but that she turned down. Huh. Maybe she would let me in on what exactly she was ready for. And maybe, just maybe, since I was so infuriated with Bella right now, I would let Tanya kiss me on my fucking mouth.

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_There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.__—_Aristotle

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**A/N:** First, we want to applaud everyone who donated money to the Twific Haiti Relief Fund. The fandom ultimately raised $75,000! WOW! Amazing. We hope that those who donated enjoyed the very lemony alternate ending to the chapter "Angel of Death." Secondly, it seems that FF had some glitches this past week. Some of you may have gotten more than one response from us, or none at all. We have tried to make sure everyone received a preview, and if not, we are so very sorry. Third, we are almost at 1,000 reviews! Wow! We hope this chapter will get us over the peak. Lastly, thank you Bri for being a great Beta reader. She always goes above and beyond.

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	10. 9 Visions of Duct Tape

**Wicked Angel**

**9. Visions of Duct Tape**

_Walking on Razor's edge, so hard for me to find my way home.__  
__How could it have come to this?__  
__So hard to pick the right from the wrong._

—Saliva

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What I really and truly needed was a good kill. One where I would get my hands dirty. It had been too long and I yearned to really put someone's life in my hands. Instead, I was sitting at the edge of the bed, slick with sweat from my romp session with Tanya.

I picked my pants up off the hardwood floor. Tanya lay spread eagle on the bed, her lips swollen from . . . handling me. And I meant both sets of lips. Her chest was still rising rapidly from our feverish fuck. Yeah, I got off, but the whole fucking time I slammed my dick in deeper, all I could think about was my Bella underneath me. Each time Tanya screamed my name, it sounded wrong on her lips; blasphemous.

"What? No round two?" Tanya literally purred from the bed, her fingers slid between her legs. Oh, she knew just what to do to make me hard, but my dick didn't even budge.

"I have things I need to do." And as if on cue, I received a phone call from the funeral home. I had all my calls forwarded since my father was still out of town with Esme. "Good night, Tanya." I didn't wait for her to reply back as I hopped up and down, pulled my pants on, and grabbed my shoes and shirt.

Once outside, I checked my voicemail. It was the hospital calling to tell me they had picked up a body and they wanted me to come examine it. I wondered what they meant by "picked up."

To my surprise, I also had about fifty missed calls. All of them were from Alice and Emmett. Oh great. Instead of checking my voicemail, I just called Alice back. She would probably know why Emmett was calling in the first place.

"Jesus, Edward." Alice's voice was high and shrill. It had been a long time since I had heard her close to panic. "Could you pull your dick out of Tanya for two seconds? We've been trying to get a hold of you for a fucking hour."

"Fuck, Alice. Calm down and tell me what the fuck is going on? I didn't hear my phone." I gritted my teeth to try and swallow down some of my enmity.

"I know the hospital has already called you about a body. Emmett and I will meet you outside. I've already called Jacob, so he might already be outside." She sounded mighty pissed off about it and I was still wondering what the fuck was going on. Didn't she understand that I couldn't read minds or see the damn future? "Please, keep your gun inside your truck."

Oh. Shit.

"Who am I going to want to kill?" Many thoughts flashed through my mind, but for some reason all I really cared about was that Bella was safe, alive, and well. "This isn't about . . ." I trailed off, almost asking if it involved Bella. I didn't want them to know how deep I was in this shit already.

Alice laughed, high-pitched and irritating. "Good fucking god, Edward. This isn't about Bella. It isn't always about her, you know."

"Fuck." I breathed heavily into the phone. "I wasn't even going to mention Bella." Lie.

"You fucking pussy-whipped liar," she seethed. She was right and I hated that she was right. "Put your dick away and get your ass down to the hospital. _Now_. That is an order."

"Aye-aye," I answered sarcastically. The phone went dead.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot a few minutes later. Alice was sitting on the tailgate of Emmett's truck, her legs kicking and dangling below. Emmett had leaned against the side, his head looking down to the ground, almost as if he was ashamed. I didn't think I had ever seen him look that way before. Jacob was standing sort of between them, his arms crossed against his chest, his face set in angry lines.

I parked and jumped out. Jacob saw me and walked in my direction. Alice and Emmett didn't move. Jacob uncrossed his arms and clapped me on the arm. "Hey, man. How's the Newton situation playing out?"

"Oh, good. I am still formulating a plan," I answered evasively.

He nodded his head, not really listening. Good. "Listen, Edward," Jacob said as he put his arm around my shoulder. "We have ourselves a bit of a problem."

We had reached Emmett's truck and I stared at them. "Will you dipshits quit dancing around the subject and just fucking spit it out! Jesus!"

Alice looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Emmett fucking killed Felix."

I froze for a second, trying to comprehend the words. "You . . . _killed_ Felix?"

Emmett nodded, still not meeting my eyes. "Let me get this straight Emmett, you _killed _Felix? As in, he is no longer breathing, no soul left, vamoose, gone, rotting in hell?"

"He tried to rape Rosalie outside of the Volturi Nest. I caught them and told Rosalie to go inside . . ."

"And then you killed him? Like, in a fit of rage? Flat out murdered him without calling one of us?" I asked, my voice rising indignantly.

"Um . . . yes."

"Holy fuck, you idiot!" I screamed.

Emmett, the big strong brute, flinched under my words. "I tried to call you but you wouldn't answer. Alice, of course, saw what happened as soon as I decided to end his life."

"Was it worth it?" I asked, my temper flaring.

"Yes," he barely whispered.

I pulled at my hair, sure it was standing on end. "If you get caught and go to jail, WAS IT WORTH IT?" I shouted, completely outraged.

His brown eyes shot up to mine and he looked worried. "I was kind of hoping you could help me out . . . seeing as how you are the coroner."

I closed my eyes, praying for patience. Alice didn't say a word. She knew I wanted to kill Mike just as badly, but she also knew that I was smart enough to not do it in a fit of fucking rage!

Jacob clapped a hand on my shoulder and I opened my eyes. He pulled me a little away from the others. "This, Edward, we need you to take care of."

I rolled out of his grip and turned to Emmett, coming at him fast and slamming both of my fists into the side of his truck on either side of him, probably leaving dents. "Don't you think Rosalie is going to be a little fucking suspicious when Felix winds up dead?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice strained.

"Emmett, you know I love you. You are my brother, but you have really fucked up. I'll do what I can to fix this, but you really did yourself in." I was still inches away from his face. I was livid. I lifted away from him and moved to Alice. "And you, little pixie, I need your help. Get your shit together, pick up the hearse, and meet me inside."

Jacob smiled. "That-a-boy."

"Can it." I shot him a glare and he had the smarts to wince a little under the force of it. He may get the contracts, he may be considered my boss because he pays me money, but he knew better than to cross me. I outsmarted him and he knew it. I was also really good with knives and guns.

Alice and I collected the body from the hospital. I needed her near me so I knew what the others were saying to each other about the incident. Whatever celestial being gave Alice her gift of foresight was either a wicked angel or an idiot. Several of the staff thought that he had been run over by a vehicle on the side of the road. That gave me leverage for my "findings."

Emmett was sitting in the passenger side of the hearse as I hopped inside. He handed Alice the keys to his truck. "I did this; I need to help Edward fix it. Go on home."

A big grin spread across Alice's face as she leaned into the opened window. "Future looks bright, you two. Edward already has a plan up his sleeve. Smarter than he looks." Her breath came out in a big steam cloud around her head.

"Night, Alice," I said testily and began rolling up the window.

She moved her arms quickly, still smiling. "All's well that ends well."

I rolled my eyes and headed to the funeral home. Emmett was quiet for most of the ride until I broke the silence. "Did you run-over Felix?" My voice sliced through the air like a knife plunging through a warm body.

He nodded. "I thought of a story already."

"You should have waited until you dumped the body," I scolded. "Lets hear your story."

"He was run-over by someone" was all he said.

"By you, you mean?" I laughed, though the sound had no humor. "How far from the bar?"

"Less than a mile. I wanted it to look like he took a hike, drunk, and got hit." He looked over at me like a little kid.

"Emmett, man the fuck up."

"It isn't the murder that has me like this, man." Emmett's fingers didn't seem to know what to do, so they just danced around on his legs.

"Then what is it?"

"Felix had his fingers all over Rosalie . . . without her permission. He was trying to unbutton her pants when I caught them. She was crying, Edward. You know me, I don't give a rat-ass about that shit. Well, raping of women is pretty fucked-up, I gotta admit. But, seriously, I am feeling shit I never have before. I never killed anyone in a fit of rage or jealousy. What the fuck?"

What the fuck indeed. I wondered if I had it that bad with Bella.

"Alice says things will be fine. I'll tell the police that he was hit by a car. I'm sure his blood-alcohol will be enough without my help."

Emmett sighed in relief.

"Bring your truck over tomorrow. I'm going to detail the fuck out of it. We don't need any fucking evidence. Seriously, Em, I'm not joking. First thing in the morning I want that truck parked behind my house and you are going to help me clean every last inch with a toothbrush."

He nodded in ascent. "Bright and early."

That night, as I lay in bed, all I could think about was Bella leaning over my body, grinding herself against me in the bathroom, or her delicious tongue licking my bottom lip. My hard-on was there all night, no matter how many times I jerked off. It wasn't the same. I wanted inside her body so bad it wasn't even funny anymore. Then I thought about the fight we had at the funeral. I had no idea what had gotten into her, because it sure as hell wasn't my cock..

I did something I normally would not have done; I tried to put myself in her shoes, to understand her thoughts. If I was Bella, and I kissed another man that wasn't my husband...and I liked it, I would feel bad. Feeling "bad" and lashing out at me like I did something wrong were two different things—unless, she still truly loved Mike. The thought hurt. Or maybe she didn't know how to feel because she knew Mike was cheating on her but not with whom and now she feels like she doesn't have a right to be angry at him because she was doing the same thing. This shit was getting way too complicated. I might lash out if I was her too.

Fuck. I wanted to tell her so badly that it was Lauren. But I knew I couldn't. I mean, really, how was I supposed to know who Mike was seeing behind her back? I had a feeling it would just cause more problems if I admitted to knowing. If she asked . . . I probably would have crumbled. But she didn't and, honestly, why would she ask me of all people?

Regardless, I was still pissed at her. I'd have to become the stalking asshat I was before. Watching her from afar after I had her body so close to mine . . . well, I didn't know how well I would handle that. Maybe it was time to bring in reinforcements. Or maybe it was just time to let her go and kill her already. Then I'd kill Mike . . . just because he pissed me off. Of course, I'd wait until we received our cash. I'm just a motherfucker like that.

Morning rolled around and my phone was buzzing like crazy. I had several missed calls again. I either needed a louder ringtone or a new phone. Emmett was pounding on my door. I knew it was him because he had a specific knock.

"I'm coming, dickwad!" I screamed as I pulled on some ratty jeans and an old white T-shirt.

I flung the door open and Emmett had a cheesy grin on his face. He held a bucket out to me with all kinds of cleaning supplies for his truck. "It's out back." He raised his eyebrows at me. "Sorry, did you just wake up?"

I grumbled something unintelligible and flipped the coffee pot on.

Emmett watched me during my morning routine as if I was an interesting soap opera. When he started chuckling, I turned to glare at him. The caffeine had yet to hit my system. To anyone else besides Emmett, it would have been as obvious as a blinking light over my head that screamed "don't talk to me until I have my coffee." His laughter didn't falter under my death stare. So I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling, concentrating on a spider who had made itself at home before I brought my eyes back to Emmett's.

His smile was broad and his dimples were more indented than normal.

"Okay," I conceded. "I give up. What the hell are you laughing about?"

"You've got it bad. I mean, like really bad." His shoulders shook with laughter as he bent to pick up the bucket of cleaning supplies. He tossed me a box.

"Good, you remembered toothbrushes." We had to be thorough.

"You aren't going to change the subject that easily," Emmett called over his shoulder as he started toward the back door. He swung it open and held it for me like I was his girlfriend.

"I don't know what you mean then. What do I have . . . bad?" I tried to feign innocence but Emmett could stare right through my bullshit.

"You know . . . Bella?"

I cursed under my breath as I walked by, seizing the water hose and hooking it into the side of the house.

"What about Bella?" I asked, trying to keep my voice smooth.

"This isn't going to be a problem, is it?" Emmett had already begun to fill the bucket; the suds gathered at the top and spilled over. He began scrubbing his bumper. "I know you've killed people you've known before without a blink of an eye. But this girl, you don't even know her and you couldn't take your eyes off of her at the funeral or at the bar."

Why did he have to become so observant now? "It's my job, Em. Gaining knowledge on her will help me plan a more skillful attack."

He rose to his full height, dirt and water on his clothes. "And can you . . . kill her?"

I thought about that for a moment and really let it swim around in my brain. The image of me being the last person she saw, me being the one to give her peace from Mike, even if it was only by death. Well, I wanted to give her that. "It isn't 'can' I kill her. The question should be 'do I want to'?"

He dumped his sponge back into the water and spoke to the ground. "Are you saying you don't want to kill her?"

"No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that I do want to." The truth of my words easily resonated in my voice.

Emmett looked up at me and smiled deviously. "You are one twisted fucker, you know that?"

I nodded. "Yes, but I wasn't the idiot who killed a man, ran over him, and then dump the body before I could be there to help." I sat at the same table we were sitting at while playing the "Death By . . ." game.

"Aren't you going to help me?" Em complained.

"I'll tell you if you miss a spot." I smiled and pointed at the grille. "Is that blood?"

He turned quickly to look.

I started chuckling. Yup. The caffeine had entered the veins of hit man, Edward Cullen.

"Not, funny, Cullen." But it was.

*************

The week dragged on endlessly. Between working on cases for the Coroner's office and working shifts at the funeral home, I was fucking beat, literally to the point that if I saw another dead body this week, it would be too soon. That was saying a lot coming from me, who loved a fresh corpse, but enough was enough, for this week at least. Thank fucking god Alice was having a party tonight. I needed to blow off some steam, aside from fucking, and drinking had always soothed and calmed me.

Unfortunately, I hadn't run into Bella this week. I had gone to the library a few times, hoping she would be there searching for a good read, but she was nowhere to be found. Still wondering what the fuck was up her ass last week, I couldn't help but to miss her. I was officially a glutton for punishment, but I would rather have Bella scream at me a thousand times over if it meant that she was standing in front of me in the flesh. I missed her beautiful face, her fucking gorgeous body, and her eyes. I tried to imagine the sound of her melodic voice, but it wouldn't come to me. I was afraid she was going to avoid me forever.

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, willing the longing thoughts of Bella to just fucking go away. I needed to keep my head in the game and my eyes on the prize, but I couldn't help but wonder what the real prize was: Bella or the money doing this job would pay out. Making my way to the front door, I straightened up and put my game face on, knowing that Alice would be able to tell what, or shall I say who, I was thinking about. So I recounted my week and all of the autopsies I had to perform, picturing the many organs I'd performed tests on, still seeing the blood dripping from my latex covered hands. _There, that will appease the fucking pixie._

The party was in full swing, people strewn about tipping back their drinks, laughing, and gyrating against one another to the beat of the song blaring from the speakers. I recognized a few people to be regulars from The Volturi's Nest. Thankfully, most of those people were on the "up and up." I wasn't in the mood for any out of the ordinary shady dealings tonight. As I rounded the corner, en route to the kitchen, a petite hand holding a glass shot out in front of me, blocking my entrance into the next room.

"Scotch, double malt. Just the way my Edward likes it."

"Thanks, Alice," I nodded in appreciation, not even spooked by her sudden appearance. Alice always knew where I was and what I was craving. I grabbed hold of the glass and took a nice full swig from it, relishing in the smooth, burning feeling I instantly got as soon as the brown liquid slid down my throat.

"And she's in the kitchen with Jasper," Alice said, a huge grin splayed on her face.

My heart rate sped up upon hearing her words. Alice had to have been talking about the only "_she_" I would ever bother to care about. I tried to keep my thoughts even, like I didn't give a shit.

"Who's with Jasper?" I asked, deciding to go with playing the confused person.

"Don't do the whole furrowed brow look, Edward. It's so not you, and don't you play dumb with me. You know who I'm referring to." She moved out of the way so I had a clear view of the sexiest motherfucking ass I had ever laid eyes on. Bella was a vision, fucking sex personified leaning her little hip against the cabinets, her hand holding a bottle of beer. I loved how she was so feminine but wasn't ashamed to drink like a sailor. Fucking turn-on. Her hair was slicked back in a pony tail, and she was wearing that hot black leather jacket again. Jesus, I wanted to wind my hand around that silken ponytail and haul her into any vacant bedroom I could find to fuck her until she couldn't walk anymore. My dick even nodded in agreement, twitching like some bratty kid tugging on his mom's shirt in the hopes of getting her attention. _Yes, I know. I want her, too._ Christ, now I was talking to my dick. What the fuck was Bella doing to me?

Just when I was about to walk toward her, recollections of our fight last week flashed before my eyes. I was still a little pissed with her, but now I was wondering if I was angry because she made me feel hurt, an emotion I wasn't used to feeling. No one ever hurt me; I did the hurting. I would cause the pain and even got off on it. This feeling was different, though. I actually ached from not being able to talk to Bella. The feeling intensified throughout my body at the mere thought of never touching her again. Her words were loud and clear at the funeral, _"We could never be."_ It was the saddest statement I had ever heard. Out of respect for Bella, I had to try to stay away from her.

I was broken free from my thoughts when I noticed Alice pointing in my direction, that fucking smirk on her face again. I guessed I was rubbing off on her a bit. She was glued to Jasper's side, their hands entwined. He gave her a gentle kiss on her temple, as Alice closed her eyes and smiled. Oh yes, my little pixie was smitten. It was refreshing to see her so happy, almost normal. Jasper looked my way, tipping his beer in my direction, giving me a silent "cheers." I raised my glass to him and smiled. That's when Bella turned around and captured my eyes with her own. She gave me a slight smile and an even slighter wave, like she didn't really want to acknowledge me. That thought made my heart heavy. I didn't even bother to smile, opting to suck down my drink instead. She would get the hint that I was still annoyed with her behavior. Hey, she wanted to deny her feelings and avoid me, then so could I . . . I think. I turned and breezed my way into the TV room, spotting Emmett and Rosalie on the couch. She was perched on his lap sideways smiling at him, while he was gently rubbing in a circular motion on her back, leaning in for a kiss. _What the fuck?_ I was happy for my friends finding love and all, but I couldn't help feel a twinge of jealousy that I wasn't situated with Bella like Emmett and Rosalie were on the couch. I fucking wanted to be able to show my affection freely and kiss her, touch her, but I couldn't.

I shook my head at myself, taking another swig of my drink. Thankfully, Alice had the sense to give me a tall glass. I had to just fucking get over it already, otherwise I might as well get fitted for my leotard and tutu so I could prance around like a fucking pansy. I hated feeling so whiny. I had killed many whiny people because they were so fucking annoying, and now, ironically, I was becoming one.

I plopped down next to Emmett and Rosalie, the impact of my body caused them to jump slightly and stop kissing. _Good._ If I couldn't kiss Bella, then I was going to make it hard for them too.

"Edward," Rosalie regarded, wrapping her arms around Emmett's neck possessively. Emmett responded by grabbing her waist tighter.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. Just chillin' here with my girl." Emmett tickled Rosalie on her side, making her squeal. It was high-pitched an extremely irritating. Visions of duct tape wrapped around her mouth to keep it shut and her tied to a chair with thick ropes danced around in my head. I smiled at the thought.

"Your girl, huh? Interesting development," I responded.

"Well, how could I not be with him after what happened to me last week? He was so brave and heroic. If Emmett wasn't there, god knows what would have happened to me." Rosalie shuttered.

"It's okay, baby. That asshole can't touch you anymore. No one will ever do that to you again," Emmett soothed. I shot him a death glare, willing him to shut the fuck up so he wouldn't spill anything about what had happened to Felix.

Thankfully, Alice and Jasper walked in, followed by Bella and Jake, who were talking amicably with one another, his hand at the small of her back so he could lead her to a seat. _What. The. Fuck? _Anger flared through my veins, causing my blood to boil and my stomach to twist and turn into one big knot. Questions flooded my mind as I watched the two of them reconvene their conversation as soon as they sat down on the floor facing each other. When did they meet? Does he realize who he's talking to? Why the fuck does Bella seem so interested in what my dipshit friend has to say. And isn't he fucking Leah now? Before I could make a fool of myself and do something I knew I would regret later, Alice piped in and got my attention.

"So, Edward, where's Tanya tonight? I invited her and she told me she might come with you." Alice. She was up to no good. She wanted to get a reaction out of Bella and make me look good at the same time. She knew I was dangerously close to breaking up that cozy conversation up. Sure enough, upon hearing Alice's question, Bella perked up and stole a side glance my way. _Oh, hit a nerve, did I, Miss Bella?_ Hmm . . . this could get interesting.

I took another gulp of my drink, preparing my answer. I had to make it good. "She told me the other day when we hung out that she couldn't make it. She sends her regrets," I lied, rather smoothly I must say. I had to withhold my chuckle as Bella became less animated in her movements, her smile falling just a bit. "We should get together real soon. Like double sometime with you and Jasper."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Work out the details with Tanya and let me know." Alice winked and leaned in to plant a kiss on Jasper who was engaged in a debate with Emmett over which pro-football teams were the best. As Jake got up to leave the room, Bella actually acknowledged my existence by glaring at me, even as she wrapped her lips around that beer bottle to take a long sip. _Hot._

Not one word was spoken between us as she continued to bore her baby browns into mine. I wasn't going to give in. She was the one who rebuffed me and I had my pride. Sure, I continued to have strong feelings for her, but I also wasn't about to make an ass of myself . . . again. Still annoyed that she hadn't even said a peep to me, I scoffed, took a sip of my scotch, and shot up from the couch. I glared right back at Bella and then turned my attention to the others. "Anyone want a refill? I'm going into the kitchen." I made eye contact with everyone except for Bella, tabulating the drink orders in my head.

"I'll have another _Sam Adams Berry Wheat_, please," I heard the voice of my personal angel sing as my back was turned. I was already leaving for the kitchen. I didn't bother looking back.

"Holy shit, dude. That Isabella Newton is one fine fucking piece of ass," Jake accosted me as soon as I entered the room. "Man, why didn't you tell me she was smokin' hot? I would have gone out of my way to bump into her on the street or something. Hell, I would have offered to take the surveillance on this job," Jake droned on like some dog in heat. I was growing very angry at him even speaking Bella's name, so much that I was beginning to sweat.

"Yeah, she's pretty cute for a brunette," I lied casually, reaching in the fridge for a couple of beers for Alice and Jasper. I purposely didn't get one for Bella.

"Pretty cute? Edward, you're crazy! I've been talking with her and she's even kinda cool. Smart even. It's a shame she's going to have to be killed. It's almost a sin to kill someone that fine," Jake whispered. My pulse was beating rapidly. I wanted so badly to ring Jake's neck just to get him to shut the fuck up. Yes, just a little asphyxiation to quiet him down so he would pass out for a while.

"Ya know, I think I'm going to try and tap that ass before she bites it. Newton's an idiot, man. If Isabella was my wife, I wouldn't want her dead. Hell, I would keep her as my sex slave, chained up in the basement or some shit, never letting her go. But, to each his own, and that lovely lady in the other room is worth a shit ton of money that I cannot wait to get my hands on." Jake waggled his eyebrows like some stupid evil villain. I would usually laugh at the statement Jake just made, but when he was talking about _my_ Bella like that, all bets were off.

"Jake, shut the fuck up, man!" I spat angrily . . . too angrily in fact. "You sound like some misguided horny teenager. Bella's a strong woman. I doubt she would bother cheating on her husband with you." Fuck! I slipped up. I called her Bella. I showed too much emotion for my liking and I'm sure for Jake's. Hopefully the dumbass didn't catch it.

"_Bella_, is it?" Jake smirked. Shit, he wasn't as stupid as I thought. "You call her by a cute little nickname, do you? Well, I knew that you broke your cardinal rule by making contact and speaking to her. A contact at the Volturi's Nest told me that she looked quite cozy talking to you at the bar last weekend."

"Yeah, what of it? She's friends with Jasper and Rosalie who now seem to be dating Em and Alice, so what the fuck was I supposed to do?" I sneered, getting closer in Jake's face. He was getting on my last fucking nerve and I didn't care if he was technically my boss or not. The four of us knew who really ran the show . . . me.

"Calm down, Edward . . . _now._" Jake commanded. I backed off a little, letting him finish what he was going to say. "You had better not be interested in this girl, Eddie, or so help me. My contacts have told me that she was drunk last week and hanging on you a little too much. Don't you fucking work that Edward Cullen charm on Isabella. That bitch is off limits!"

"I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, Jake. Yes, Isabella was drunk last weekend and no, there is nothing go on between us. But, since she's tight with my friends' significant others, I'm going to have to hang out with her from time to time. I realize it's highly unorthodox for me to hang out with the person I'm going to off, but this is no ordinary case Jake, and you fucking know it. So, I suggest you back the fuck off me and let me do my job. I've never let you three down before and I'm not about to start now." I hoped that would placate the mother fucker.

"Fine, I'll trust you, Cullen. But you better fucking remember to keep your eyes on the prize. Eyes on the prize my man," he ordered, pointing at me as he was exiting the kitchen. "I have to go. Leah's waiting for me. Thanks for that, by the way. Best fucking lay ever. I don't know why you are so willing to give that up." Jake smiled his classic teeth-whitening smile and left. Thank fucking god. Yes, I'll keep my eyes on the prize alright, except it wasn't Bella's money I wanted. I wanted her . . . badly.

As soon as Jake fled, I was back in a flash to the TV room, handing out drinks to everyone . . . well, almost everyone. I purposely left Bella out because she needed to know that I was serious in respecting her wishes. It pained me, but I had to teach her a little lesson. Her face seemed to light up the second I walked back into the room. Of course, she was trying to downplay it, but it still made my heart swell. That euphoric feeling quickly faded when I saw Bella's face drop when I didn't hand her a beer. I had started up a conversation with someone else to keep from glancing her way.

"Bella, didn't you want a beer, too?" Jasper asked her.

"Nah, I guess I'm good," Bella responded. How I wish she didn't want me to stay away from her. The mere fact that she just covered for me when she was clearly disappointed just reaffirmed what I already knew . . . she wanted me, too. She refused to look at me, an hour later, even when I was blatantly staring at her from across the room. Fucking frustrating and I'd had enough.

I looked at Emmett sucking face with Rosalie, who was straddling him on the couch. _Did those two even fucking move the entire night? _"I'm outta here. I'm tired and I'm bored," I told Alice. I'm sure she knew the real reason why I was going. I couldn't stand being in close proximity to Bella and pretending that I didn't know her. I had to bail. I left the room abruptly and got sidetracked by stupid fucking people wanting to talk with me.

I finally reached the front door when someone grabbed my arm.

"Edward, wait!"

I sighed in frustration, "What do you want, pixie?"

"Uh, I forgot to give you something. Come upstairs with me to my office."

"This can't wait until tomorrow?"

"No, it can't. Come on!" Alice pulled me up the stairs and down the hall to her office. She opened the door and beckoned me to go in first.

"Okay, wait here. I'll be right back," she sang, an all too familiar evil smile playing on her lips. She started to close the door before I could protest.

"Alice! What the . . . " I heard movement, turned around, and came face to face with someone who I thought I would never be face to face with again.

"Hey," her small voice squeaked.

"Uh . . . hello," I said a little too formally. I don't know why I felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"I won't keep you long. I had to get you alone so I could talk to you, so I had Alice help me out."

"Okay."

"Um, I . . . uh . . . I'm sorry," she whispered, looking nervous and fidgeting with her hands. "I didn't mean to be so harsh with you. The last thing I wanted to do was to push you away," she said sadly.

"Then why? Why the fuck did you do that, Bella?" I was finally able to breathe again once my name fell from tongue. I wanted to take her in my arms and shield her from the world, but I couldn't. I had to hear her out.

"I was just so angry and hurt. Years of my life have been wasted on loving Mike, trying to build a life with him. I know he's been cheating on me, but for the life of me, I can't think who it could be. I'm convinced it must be someone down at Leah's salon, because when I went there a couple of weeks ago, all those skanky girls were pointing and whispering at me. I'm not one to be paranoid, Edward, but I can tell when I'm being spoken about. Then last Friday night, I went to see Mike at the supermarket and do some grocery shopping, but his co-workers kept on saying he was upstairs in his office doing paperwork."

"Seriously?" I asked incredulously, taking a seat by Alice's desk. Bella slowly paced around the room.

"I know, right? I mean what kind of paperwork do you have when you work in the produce department and you aren't even upper management?" Bella scoffed. "Everyone thinks I am this huge idiot, especially his little lackeys that work with him. Then I noticed some of the women at the funeral home last week staring at Mike."

"So, do you know who it is yet? Have you figured it out?" I hedged, trying so hard not to blurt it out like some overzealous school kid that raised his hand to shout that he knows the answer.

She sighed, "No, I haven't a clue, but I can tell you one thing: the moment I find out, you can bet your ass that I will give that bitch the beat down of her life! No one makes me look like a fucking fool . . . no one! Shit, I don't even think I like Mike anymore," she chuckled. She was so damn gorgeous that I had to smirk at her. I loved the many facets of Bella. She was sweet and caring, but dark and fiery, and I fucking loved when she cursed. My dick was now like steel, pushing against my zipper.

"So, what do you plan on doing?"

Bella paused her movements and thought for a moment. "I've been thinking of going and talking to my dad about getting a divorce. I have some investments that I don't want to lose completely." She started to walk toward me. "I think I am going to have my dad open an account in his name but deposit a chunk of my money in it. That way, I won't have to share with Mike," she said softly, gliding closer to me. "You know, Edward, I really don't like to share." Bella smiled and inched her way to me. She stood in front of me and I instantly opened my legs, pulling her by the waist of her jeans so she could stand between them. I didn't care if she pushed me away. I wanted her close and I was willing to take the risk.

Bella then fisted her hand in my hair, tilting my head to meet her eyes. They were smoldering and I was lost in them. "I especially don't wish to share you. Who is Tanya?"

_What? That came out of nowhere._

"A friend. No one you should concern yourself with."

She bent down a little, refusing to let go of my hair. "Do you plan on going out with her again, Edward?"

"Do you plan on staying in a loveless, lifeless marriage to a total dickwad, Bella?"

She was now inches away from my face, her breathing in synch with mine. I wanted to claim her but I waited, wanting her to make the first move. "No, Edward, I don't," she breathed and brushed her lips so softly against my own that I wasn't sure she really did it. Bella shocked the ever loving shit out of me when she straddled my lap, taking off her jacket in the process. She was wearing a cock tease of a white t-shirt and a lace bra. I wanted to fucking rip it off of her.

"I'm done with trying to push you away. I don't know how far we can go, Edward, but I can't deny my feelings for you any longer."

I smiled, showing her all the cards in my hand. I was done. She could have me in any capacity she damn well pleased.

"We're going to have to sneak around, Bella. Are you ready to do that? Can you do that?" I asked, twisting her soft pony tail around my hand and pulling her flush against me.

"Yes . . . I think so. As long as I don't have to share you, Edward. I want you all to myself. I can't promise that I will fully cheat on Mike. But it was killing me not seeing you, touching you, talking to you. She closed her eyes and ghosted her fingers down my chest to the waist of my jeans.

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"Will you fucking kiss me already?"

She chuckled sweetly. "With pleasure," she purred, snaking her arms around my neck. She was taking this slowly, purposely torturing me. I moaned the moment her plump lips met mine. I licked her lower lip before sucking it in my mouth and biting down. Bella arched her back in response, her breasts rubbing against my chest. I took a gamble and lightly traced my fingers along the swells of her breasts.

"Mmm . . . Edward. Touch me. I want to feel you," Bella said seductively, removing her shirt. My eyes bugged out of my head in fucking shock that Bella would be even bolder than she already was tonight.

I cupped her, grazing my thumbs over her hardened nipples. Bella felt so damn good in my hands; she fit perfectly.

There was a loud knock on the door. We ignored it as our tongues tangoed together. Any second I was going to take her, lay her flat on the ground and just have at it. Hadn't she sent me on enough roller coaster rides not to give me this one gratification?

Someone banged on the door again. We broke our kiss.

"Go. Away," I said angrily to the wooden door.

"Edward, it's Tanya."

I took in a deep breath and let it out. I looked back down at Bella. Her face had contorted into pain for a brief second before she rearranged her features to something unreadable. It was absolutely frustrating. "Can't it wait?" I grumbled.

"No, Edward." Tanya's voice grew bitter. That was surprising. "You are the coroner of Forks and the surrounding areas. There has been a bad accident. You have been requested to go to the scene."

I put my forehead against Bella's and kissed her lips lightly as I pressed my throbbing cock into her. She moaned in my mouth and I kissed her cheek, down her neck to her ear. "We'll continue this"—my hand moved up and down her body—"later."

She smiled and raised herself up, starting to get dressed. It really was a shame.

"One more thing," I said, "Jacob is dangerous. Stay away from him. Trust me, okay Bella?" She nodded, not even arguing. Liquid courage to the rescue. I gave her one last kiss before I turned toward the door, more buoyant than normal, and left.

I just really hoped that she wouldn't regret her actions again and ignore me.

* * *

_Sometimes what we believe as coincidence is really just getting ourselves caught in an angel booby trap._—Grey Livingston

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**A/N:** We knew our fans could do it, get us over that initial 1,000 review bump! We know that we haven't been updating as much as usual, but that is because we are all very busy. But, if you have noticed, the last chapter and this one have been almost twice as long as our normal chapters.

On another note, lolafalana is less than a month away from her book release. Please check out her blog. . com

Thank you Bri, for being a wonderful Beta reader, and fixing our mistakes.

As always, if you **REVIEW**we will send you a little preview into our next chapter. Fanficion has been an epic fail here lately so hopefully we responded to everyone who sent in a review for the latest chapter.

Until next time . . .

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	11. 10 Shaken to the Core

**Wicked Angel **

10. Shaken to the Core

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_Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough.__  
__So give them blood, blood, blood.__  
__Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!_

—My Chemical Romance

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I brushed past Tanya to make sure she didn't see who was in the room with me. It would be a monumental mistake for her to find out about Bella. She worked with her father and I doubted Bella was a stranger to her.

"Sorry to _interrupt_ you," she said as she picked up her pace to catch up to me. "Who is the flavor this week?" she had the nerve to ask.

I came to a halt and turned abruptly to face her which made her practically collide into me. I opened my mouth to begin to speak, the anger bubbling and boiling inside me. I pointed my finger, unable to formulate the words. Finally, I snarled "You know what? It's not worth it . . . You. Are. Not. Worth. It." I said each word slowly, deliberately. I pushed back my frustration and felt the steam dissipate from me.

"Fuck you," Tanya spat and pushed past me. She shoved her shoulder hard against mine. I couldn't help but chuckle, albeit a pissed off chuckle.

"Wait." My dark laughter continued as I tried to catch up to her. "You need to tell me where the fuck I have to go," I said as I caught up with her.

"Call your fucking service to get the details," she seethed.

Why was she so pissed off? She knew the rules. Maybe she was getting attached. I shuddered at the thought.

"No problem. Next time don't fucking interrupt me; I might as well have five extra minutes while I wait for the page to come through!" This time I pushed past her and exited the party.

I climbed in my truck and dialed my service to receive the information I needed. I wanted to get in, out, and back to Bella.

"Cullen Funeral Home, how may I help you?" A cheery voice said which made my skin crawl; it sounded like nails on a chalk board. I didn't recognize the voice. Carlisle must have hired someone new.

"It's Edward Cullen. You have a pick up for me?" I didn't bother to hide the annoyance in my tone.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, but I am not showing any messages," she said, a little flabbergasted.

_Fuck that conniving cunt. _

Tanya fucking lied. She meant to fucking interrupt me and Bella. I wanted to go back in and rip all her fingernails off one by one. I wanted to scalp her blonde hair and expose her useless brain, then poke and prod it to make her twitch under my control. I wanted to see her blood stain her face, figure out a way to make her bleed tears, beg me to just end her life. I didn't like to be fucked with, and I most certainly didn't like to be _lied_ to.

"Mr. Cullen, are you there?" The high pitched voice pulled me from my fantasies.

"Okay . . . listen. Can you page Garrett with any calls for the rest of the night," I asked the sickly sweet voiced girl. Garrett was a part-time employee, if he couldn't handle the call he would get in touch with me.

"No problem Mr.—" I clicked the phone shut abruptly when I saw Bella exit the house. I watched every move she made, entranced by her. Her gaze finally fell on me and I saw her eyebrows knit together in confusion as she approached.

I quickly reached across my seat and swung the passenger door open to invite her in.

"What are you still doing here?" she questioned as she climbed into the cab of the truck. I should have gotten the fuck out, been a goddamn gentleman, and helped her in.

"Turns out they don't need me." I smirked at her.

"Must be my lucky night." She smiled back at me as she scooted across the seat, moving closer to me.

Our faces were inches apart. "Must be," I said against her lips right before they met mine. I tried to pull her closer but the damn stick shift was in the way. I needed to be closer to her and I struggled to pull her body against mine. My hand fisted in her silky hair.

"Ouch. Ouch, _fuck_!" Bella cried out rapidly, which put an immediate end to our lip lock. My heart felt like it stopped when she cried out in pain. It was such a foreign feeling, fear. And not just fear for myself, but fear for someone else's well-being. What was this woman doing to me?

"Shit, are you okay? What's wrong?" I asked, the worry obvious in my voice.

"This damn seatbelt buckle is digging into my thigh," she said as she rubbed the sore area through her jeans. I moved my hand over hers and circled my hand over her skin-tight jeans. Our eyes locked as I moved my hand to the inside of her thigh. Her breathing became shallow as I inched my way up her inner thigh. Bella opened her legs further in invitation as my hand hit her center. I could feel the heat searing off of her. I watched her lick her lips seductively as I pressed against her. I moved my hand up and down the outside of her jeans, never breaking eye contact with her. She began to move with my hand, arching into my touch. It was the most seductive thing I had ever seen in my life.

She took in another sharp breath and closed her eyes in pleasure. I saw her hand tighten around the stick shift and it made my dick throb more than before. "You are wrapping your fingers around the wrong stick," I said huskily as I moved my eyes to her hand.

She moved her hand to my aching cock and rubbed it slowly up and down. I wanted to fucking whip it out, but I didn't want to pressure her or push her too far. Her eyes were focused on her hand against my jeans. She finally looked up at me, biting her bottom lip. That just about did me in. The feel of her warm hand on my dick was overwhelming. I never thought something like this would have me panting. But it did. I leaned closer to her, letting the seat belt buckle dig into my hip; the pain was worth the pleasure. I couldn't wait to taste her. Her head arched back which gave me access to her ivory neck that smelled like vanilla.

I let my tongue stroke up her neck and made a wet trail to her earlobe. Her hair smelled like strawberries. All I could think about was munching on her, little by little. I sucked on the bottom of her earlobe, enjoying the taste of her skin combined with the smell of her hair.

She began to buck her hips feverishly into my hand. "Holy fucking Christ! I'm gonna fucking come!" she grunted.

"Come for me Bella," I whispered in her ear and rubbed between her legs harder. Her hand squeezed my dick as her orgasm over took her; she moaned my name over and over again. She was even more stunning than I ever thought she could be when she came.

"You are so sexy," I told her as her breathing evened out. And that was the understatement of the year.

"I don't think I have ever come that hard before," she told me as I pushed some hair off her slightly sweaty forehead.

"And just think how hard I can make you come without clothes in the way." I flashed her a sly smile. "Do you want to go back in?"

"I'd rather be alone with you," she said as she fumbled to unbutton my jeans. I glanced down at her hand and stilled it with mine.

"You don't need to do that," I told her. I knew I would have the worst case of blue balls this side of the Mississippi, but I really didn't want her to feel pressured.

"What if I want to?" she questioned me.

"I don't want you to do something you might regret later. I want you so bad, but only when you are ready, and not tied down." I moved my eyes to her wedding band. She immediately removed the offensive ring.

"I only ever want to be tied down by you," she said as she looked down at the ring.

I spoke as I lifted her chin so I could look in her eyes. "Really? I could arrange having you tied down." She smiled sheepishly at me. I sighed. "Bella, I don't like to share my shit either, and you . . . you are mine." I took the ring from her hand. I wanted to throw it out the window.

"Mike . . . he disgusts me . . . I have no desire to touch him or be touched by him. He started sleeping in the guest room last week. I _am_ yours, and if you wish to have me tied up, you can tie me up."

I growled at her words, as her lips met mine.

"Can I take you somewhere?" I asked between kisses.

"Anywhere," she whispered against my jaw. I nodded at her as I opened my truck door and hopped out swiftly before going to Bella's door to help her down.

"I thought you were taking me somewhere?" She looked puzzled as I held her hand to help her down.

"I am; follow me." I laced my fingers with hers and began to lead her behind Alice's house into the Olympia woods.

"In the woods? In the dark?" She asked like I was some crazy motherfucker.

_Oh, right! I was. _

"Are you scared?" I teased while I moved a few branches out of the way.

"See, I have trouble walking in daylight through the woods, let alone the dark; _some_ even call me a klutz." She said the word "some" vehemently. I assumed she meant Mike.

"You? A klutz? Never," I told her seriously. "Accident prone, on the other hand—that you are." I kissed her head with a small smile. "I will protect you; I won't let you fall." _At least not until I am ready to be the one to end your life_, I added mentally. "It's not too much farther. Plus, it's a full moon; it won't be too dark there." Once a decade, you saw the Northern Lights. Tonight was supposed to be one of those nights. I hoped I was right and that I could share that with Bella.

Bella clutched onto my arm and placed her head gently on my shoulder as I led her to one of my favorite places. I loved to visit on a bright night like this evening. The stars were seen so clearly in the open field and the moonlight always illuminated the dark forest. I held Bella close to me because she had stumbled a few times over sticks and stumps.

"There, do you see the light?" I asked her as I pointed out the green glow.

"Holy shit! What the fuck is that?" she asked, a bit scared.

"Trust me."

"I trust you," Bella said as I brought her to the edge of the clearing. Our eyes looked above us taking in the beauty of the green swirls of light. I walked her to center of the field; the grass was thick and high. I sat down on the cool ground, reached for Bella's waist, and pulled her down on my lap. I leaned back on my hands as Bella's petite body sunk into mine.

"It's the Northern Lights . . . you can see them about once every ten years or so here in Washington," I began to explain to her, "usually after a lot of solar activity; I knew it would be sometime soon . . . I took a chance that it might be tonight, that I'd be able to share it with you." I nuzzled my face in the crease of her neck.

"It's the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen," she said in awe.

"Oh yeah? What's the first?" I asked while I placed kisses on her neck.

"You," Bella said simply and leaned in closer to me. She wrapped her arm around my head and began to twirl my hair in her fingers. A few minutes passed before I broke the silence.

"They are also called Auroras, the Northern Lights," I told her. "They are believed to be the torches held in the hands of Spirits seeking the souls of those who have just died. The light is to lead them over the abyss terminating the edge of the world. A narrow pathway leads across it to the land of 'Brightness and Plenty,' where disease and pain are no more—I guess a Heaven of sorts. But no one can go to this place except the dead and the Raven. When the Spirits wish to communicate with the people of the Earth, they make a whistling noise and the Earth people answer only in a whispering tone. The Eskimo say that they are able to call the Aurora and converse with it. They send messages to the dead through these Spirits," I explained to her. Bella turned and straddled my lap, running her fingers through my hair, her breasts at my eye level; I couldn't help but to remember that lace bra she was wearing, and I buried my face in her chest. She held my head against her tightly and I couldn't believe how fucking happy I was just to be able to hold her in my arms.

In that instant I decided that cocksucker and sorry excuse for a husband would be exposed. I'd figure out a way to make sure Bella caught him and that skank Lauren. If it meant doing surveillance on him for a few days in order to set up Bella to "accidentally" find them together, so fucking be it. Bella deserved the chance to put them in their place.

She was so delicate, yet so fierce. Her death would be magnificent. The thought of it made my dick harden beneath her. The image of shear shock and desperation that would flash across her features when I ended her life made me . . . giddy. I couldn't help but to ghost my hands down her back in order to squeeze her tight ass.

I never left a girl as satisfied as I did with Bella that night, and all we did was make out like two horny teenagers under a green glow.

It wasn't hard to case Mike and Lauren. They weren't very original or even that sneaky. As it so happened, Mike worked three until eleven the day Lauren was off. Bella would leave for work in Port Angeles and, not even an hour later, Lauren would show up. The fucking nerve he had to do it in the bed Bella most likely slept in made me queasy.

Although, he made it easy for me. Almost too easy. Now, I just needed to figure out a way to get Bella to go back home. What was something everyone would turn around to go back home and get if they forgot? I asked myself. Cell phone. My brain worked in a frenzy as I thought of how to make her "misplace" her cell phone.

She never invited me over. Maybe I would just show up the night before since Mike mostly worked the three o'clock shift.

"_Way too risky, Edward,_"the evil little pixie texted me.

Fine. I would take it, she would assume she left it home, she would go back, and later I would tell her I found it on the floor of my truck or some shit.

Bella and I had dinner together for most of the week. She was thankful not to eat alone so frequently and I was thankful Carlisle and Esme returned home, so I was no longer on call for the Funeral Home every fucking day of the week.

One evening Alice asked us all to meet at the only other bar in town aside from Volturi's Nest—The Forks Pub—for happy hour. I thought it was an odd choice, but I supposed Jasper didn't want to hang out at his work; shit, who the fuck did?

We didn't flaunt our relationship in front of Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett, even though it was no secret to them. Bella said she just didn't feel right about it since she was still legally attached to Mike. I hated Mike more and more.

I swung open the door and scanned the room for Alice and spotted her. She was perched at the bar and jumped down to hug me hello.

"I need your help," I said as I embraced her.

"You want me to help you get Bella's cell phone? So lame Edward. I will help you, just you wait," she told me cryptically.

"What are you planning," I said with a coy smile.

"In about thirty minutes, Mike and Lauren are going to show up here for dinner. I am not sure how this will change the game Edward, but I'd like to see this show go down almost as much as I want a front row seat to a bloody massacre . . . Bella is going to walk in in less than a two minutes with Rose, Emmett, and Jazz. Try to keep your dick limp and order her a drink; she is going to need it," Alice said while she hopped back on her bar stool.

"Why you sneaky little minx," I said before turning to the bartender. "Can I get a scotch on the rocks and a skinny margarita?" He placed the drinks down at almost the exact same time Bella walked in the bar. She looked hot as hell. Tight pencil skirt with a white ruffled shirt tucked in, black heels, and those damn stockings with the line going down the back of her leg.

My dick was hard; it never listened to Alice.

"Hey," she quietly greeted me as I handed her the drink.

"You look nice," I said and then kissed her cheek.

"So do you." She lifted my tie and straightened my collar.

I didn't think I'd ever get tired of feeling her hands on me. Hell, she could probably have run me over in her car and I would have died a happy man knowing I came to my end by her hand.

_Down boy . . . _

Bella gave me her beautiful smile and looked around until she caught Alice's eye. I was always nervous when Alice spoke to her . . . I never knew what she would say.

"Bella, you look lovely today."

Bella's eyebrow twitched in response. "Thank you, Alice. You always look . . . put together."

Alice's eye twitched, but she didn't reply.

I hid my snicker behind my hand. I wasn't sure if Bella knew that Alice didn't particularly care for her at first, but I had a suspicion that she knew. That's not to say that Alice didn't care for her now, it's just that I wasn't really sure where Bella stood with her.

My life had become so difficult. I'd always had just one constant woman in my life besides my mom, Esme, and that was Alice. She had never been difficult to read; she always flat out told me what she wanted or needed from me. Bella was different. I never knew what I was going to get with her. One minute, I would think she was fine with the concept of us, and the next minute she was pushing me away. I wasn't sure if that would happen again in the future, but I guess time would tell.

_Time will tell? Are you saying you're _not_ going to kill her?_

Fuck. That's not what I was implying . . . was I?

"Hey, you," Rose greeted Bella.

Rosalie's disdain for me bled through her pores. She was yet another woman that came into my life recently and I wasn't sure I liked it. Nothing thrilled me more than the vision of her strapped down to a metal bed, gagged, with her tears streaming down her face in fear. I was sure it was not far from what Emmett had in mind, but what I had in mind wasn't for sexual pleasure. Rosalie just got in the way. Alas, I had to bear her for Emmett's sake.

"What's up, _blows_?"

"What?"

"I said, 'What's up Rose?' " I gave her my best angelic smile, which only made her eyes narrow in my direction.

"Watch it, Cullen"

I chuckled darkly. That bitch had no idea who she was messing with.

That earned me a death glare from Emmett, but hey, I was allowed to have fun, wasn't I?

I sat down and watched everyone talk and laugh and noticed how carefree Alice and Emmett seemed to look. I'd never seen them so unguarded around _other _people, and I had to admit it felt nice to sit there with other people and just be . . . _normal_. Even if we weren't. It had never seemed fathomable before, but now . . . well, maybe I could have a normal life. _Right_.

_What about your bloodlust? What about your past? What about that need you have to kill . . . ?_

As much as I wanted a "normal" life to be possible for me and Bella, I knew it was a long shot. I didn't think Bella would be okay with what I did for living on the side. Fuck, she _helped_ people and I _destroyed_ them. How was that going to translate into a happily ever after?

I could sneak out in the evenings and do my thing without her knowing. There are people who do that, right? Maybe I could be a killer on the side . . . it had possibilities.

I chugged back the last of my scotch and watched Bella down her third skinny margarita. I smiled because I realized my girl could drink . . . and that was fuckin' sexy as hell.

I was about to slide my hand between Bella's thighs when I got kicked under the table. At first I thought it was Rose, since she was directly in front of me, and was about to give her the kick of her life when I got kicked again . . . by Alice.

"_What?_" I mouthed.

Her head tilted toward the entrance of the pub. Right when I turned, the door opened and in stepped Mike . . . and Lauren.

I couldn't stop the smile on my face even if I tried. It was like the joy I felt when I saw the life leave my victims eyes for the first time. My dream, my wish, was going to come true. I watched as they walked to a secluded part of the pub and sat down. I had a great view of them, but Bella didn't.

My head turned toward Bella, but she was in a deep conversation with Emmett. I had no idea what they were talking about, but since Emmett didn't care about anything besides threesomes and sex, it couldn't have been that important. Unless Bella enjoyed threesomes . . .

_Focus idiot!_

I shut my eyes and opened them again and glanced at Alice. I watched as a smile crept up on her face and I knew she had a plan. I could always count on her. If there was one thing I learned, it was to never bet against Alice.

"You know, I've got to go to the ladies room really badly. Bella, will you come with me?"

Bella smiled and nodded her head and got up to join Alice. She was a bit unsteady at first but got her bearings quickly. I knew this was going to be an epic showdown and I had a great view from where I sat. Bella squeezed my shoulder and told me she'd be right back.

I watched them as the other three at the table continued their conversation. Bella was talking animatedly to Alice while she just nodded and listened. At the right moment Alice tripped over nothing and collided with Lauren who had her drink in her hand. It spilled all down Lauren's shirt and the bitch was not pleased.

What happened next was something I would probably remember for the rest of my life.

"What the fuck? You better watch where you're going next time! This is a five hundred dollar cashmere sweater that I got as a gift!"

The whole place was swept up in silence as everyone leaned in to hear what was going on.

Alice ducked her head and replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry . . ."

Bella looked closer at Lauren and then turned her head and spotted Mike.

"Mike?" I couldn't see the expression on Bella's face but I bet it was colorful. "Michael, is that you?"

Lauren and Alice were no longer talking.

"Bella . . ."

"Mike . . . what the hell is going on? Who's this?" Bella's hand moved up and down in Lauren's direction. "Is _this_ the slut you've been sleeping with?"

Lauren's indignation rose to the occasion. "Slut? Oh no, I think you're mistaken. I'm the love of his life, the most important thing to him in this world. I give him what you can't!"

I saw red when she said those words to Bella. My beautiful Bella was ten times the woman Lauren would ever be and I hated the fact that she was cutting her down in front of everyone. Speaking of cutting . . .

Bella held her own and didn't need my help. I loved feisty Bella.

"You blonde bitch! You are nothing to him but a piece of ass and as soon as he gets what he wants, he's going to drop you faster than he clicks out of internet porn when I walk into a room. I don't care about you or what the fuck you do." Her attention then turned on Mike. "I can't fuckin' believe you, you . . . you . . . asshole! What the hell are you doing?"

Mike jumped up then and got right in Bella's face. If he didn't calm down soon, I was going to have to calm him down myself.

"It's none of your goddamn business, bitch! You wouldn't put out anymore. I had to find someone that was willing to get down on her knees and make me feel like a man again. You brought this all on yourself Bella."

Bella's mouth fell open as fire lit up on her eyes. "Myself? I brought this on myself? Fucking prick, how the hell did I do that? I was always there for you Michael! I did everything for you, short of wiping your ass! Don't stand there and tell me I didn't put out for you because I did! I never withheld sex from you until just recently and only because I knew you were seeing someone else, I just didn't know who!" Bella turned back to Lauren for a second. "And who knows what kind of diseases this bitch is carrying."

I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. Go Bella!

Lauren opened her mouth to speak but Mike got to it first.

"Don't blame this on me, Bella. Lauren is better at everything than you ever were. You haven't made me happy in a long time. You're like a chain around my neck . . . a thorn in my side. You drag me down, Bella. I could be so much more if it weren't for you! Lauren sees my potential and is far more willing in bed with me than you'll ever be."

"Just because she has been around the block and learned some tricks does not mean she is better than me!" Bella spat.

Lauren made a sound of protest behind her. Alice had grabbed her wrist and yanked her down to a seat.

How I was able to stand there and hear what was going on without snapping, I'll never know. Probably because I was stunned that Mike had the balls to say all that to Bella. I was angry to say the least, but to come in between a lover's spat would have dire consequences, ones I was not willing to put Bella through. I just hoped this would make Bella run to me instead of the opposite effect.

"Trust me," Mike said through narrowed eyes. "She's better."

Bella's hand came up and swiftly slapped Mike's cheek hard, like the bitch he was. She had tears in her eyes despite her feelings for him. I was sure her pride was hurt most of all.

She was about to slap him again when Mike's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist to stop her. I started to make my way over there when I saw Alice's hand shoot out and grab Mike's wrist in retaliation.

"Now Mike, don't do anything you'll regret." Alice's tone was even, but I was sure her face was not. She could be a scary mother fucker as I was sure she was at that moment. One glance from her and Mike quickly let Bella go. She turned around and quickly stormed out of the pub, not giving anyone a glance as she bolted out.

"Well . . . shit." Emmett's brilliant response was hardly soothing.

"I'd better go see if I can help her." Rose quickly shot up and dashed out of the restaurant to be with Bella—a place I desperately wanted to be. I had to hand it to her . . . Rose was a good friend to have when you were in need.

Jasper, Em, and I walked over to where Alice stood and as soon as I stepped into view, Mike spoke to me. "Cullen, can I please speak to you?"

I quickly looked over to Jasper, but he was in the middle of a conversation with Alice. More than likely checking her for any bruises or damage. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. She was a lot tougher than she looked.

I tilted my head to the side and motioned for Mike to follow me out the door. I wanted to bash the motherfucker's head into the sidewalk and watch the blood leave his body. I wanted to throw him out in front of a speeding train and watch his brain and body get smashed from the impact . . . but above all that, I wanted Mike to bleed for what he just said to Bella.

I couldn't though; I couldn't blow my cover. No matter what, Mike was the last person on this planet besides Jacob who could know I was involved with her. Our lives depended on it.

Once I was a safe distance from any eyes and ears, I spun around and confronted Mike.

"What the fuck do you want, Newton?"

He started to pace in front of me. "Dude. You were in there, you saw what happened. It will only be a matter of time now before she divorces me! If that happens, I will never get my money! I worked my ass off for it. I wasted years of my life on that bitch and if she divorces me, I'll get nothing. _Nothing_!"

I swallowed quickly, biting back my tongue. How could he stand there and call his wife a bitch? Bella was out of Mike's league. I would never, ever understand what she saw in that guy.

"Well, you shouldn't have been philandering inside a public place with Lauren, dipshit. You expect me to have compassion on you? What the hell were you doing with her out in public? Everyone can see you."

The irony that he and Lauren were out in public as were Bella and I was not lost on me.

"Look man, can you just please speed up the process? I'll pay extra. I just don't understand what's taking so long to get the job done!"

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me, his nose almost touching my own. "Don't. Tell. Me. How. To. Do. My. Job. I know exactly what the fuck I'm doing. It's not easy to kill someone in the same town you live in without causing a scene . . . and you talking to me in public is not going to help either of our cases, you understand? Unless you want to go to jail for murder, let me do my job."

His pale face was beaded in sweat and I knew he was scared. He should be. Fucker was inches away from the Grim Reaper.

"Everything okay here guys?"

Emmett and Jasper had come up the walk and I quickly let Mike go. This wouldn't look good in front of Jasper.

"Everything's fine. I was just telling Mike here that he shouldn't be treating Bella how he did inside. After all, he was the one that fucked up behind her back. They _are_ still married."

I glared at Mike and he quickly nodded his head in acknowledgement. Jasper just nodded and I quickly walked away from them all. Alice was standing by my car waiting for me.

"This isn't good, Alice. Even though I'm ecstatic that Bella knows the truth now, I'm not happy that I have to speed up on killing her."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm so glad it's sooner though, that way, we can be done with this whole mess."

I sighed and pinched my nose. This was the opposite of good.

"How's Bella?"

"She's fine. Rose is with her. She said that Bella will call you later once she's calmed down some. She also said she was pretty hysterical. I'm sure Rose can get her to calm down."

I nodded and quickly got in the truck and waved a quick bye to Alice, anxious to get home. I probably wasn't going to get a call from Bella anytime soon so I settled on going home and just relaxing.

I pulled my truck up into the driveway and I quickly got down. I marched into the house and threw my things down as I made my way into my bedroom. I needed to get away from everyone and everything. My life had become so stressful since Bella Newton came into my life . . . but I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I considered turning off my phone while I slept, but decided against it. If Bella wanted to talk to me, I wanted to be there for her.

I settled into bed and quickly fell asleep. Sometime later, my phone went off. I opened my eyes and gazed groggily at my phone. Bella's name was flashing on the screen.

I sat up quickly and answered it, noting that it was two in morning. _What the hell was she doing calling me at two in the morning?_

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello? Bella, are you okay?"

Nothing, again. Suddenly, I could hear her sobbing on the other end and that just made my nerves come alive. Something wasn't right.

"Bella, baby, talk to me. What's wrong?"

I heard her take a shaky breath. "Oh Edward . . ."

"Sweetheart, it's okay. You know it's going to be okay. Please don't cry." I was in the process of getting my pants on when she spoke again.

"No, it's not going to be okay. I-I-I'm in trouble. I didn't know who to call. _Oh God_, what have I done?"

I stopped moving at that point. Bella wasn't distressed. She was beyond distressed; she was _frantic_.

"Bella, honey . . . what did you do? Where are you?"

"I'm so sorry . . . _Oh God_, I'm _so_ sorry . . . I don't know what to do . . . blood . . . there's blood everywhere! I can't get it off . . . I'm making a mess! Please . . . _please help me_. Edward . . . please help me! I'm scared!"

I think I stopped breathing. I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that Bella had done something—something so wrong it shook her to her core. I threw on my shoes and ran out the door, not even bothering to lock up. My phone was still at my ear as I was soothing her, but her hysterical cries were still coming.

Whatever Bella just did had altered the course of events. I didn't have to be a psychic to know that.

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_Blood__'s not thicker than money._

—Groucho Marx

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**A/N:** We know, it's a cliffy, but we promise a delicious chapter after this. **If you review**, you will receive a preview of the next chapter just like always.

Always, thank you Bri for beta-ing this chapter.

On another note, there have been incidents of stories being removed (namely popular stories) from FF because of a group of people who have made it their mission to turn stories in for not following the rules. One of those rules is no stories that are "MA" are allowed to be posted, and well . . . you might as well just throw us under the bus. If anything like this happens to WA, you will be able to find us at The Writer's Coffee Shop, where we will start to post our story this week. We have blocked as many of the culprits as we can, but there are no guarantees that our story will not be pulled due to content. We are not saying this will happen, but you never know.

Thanks for being loyal fans,

Devilish Pleasures

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	12. 11 Quicksand

**Wicked Angel**

**11. Quicksand

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**

_Another knife in my hands  
A stain that never comes off the sheets  
Clean me off  
I'm so dirty babe  
It ain't the money and it sure as hell ain't just for the fame  
It's for the bodies I claim and lose_

—My Chemical Romance

* * *

Nine years ago . . .

I paced back and forth between my co-conspirators. Emmett had only joined our ranks a month ago, but he had already proven himself and we were now a group of full-blown killers. But this last kill . . . it was too messy. Eric, resident cocksucker, decided it would be fun to write "witch" all over Alice's locker. Rumors spread through the school like wildfire and big-brother Emmett got even; he hog-tied Eric in Grover field and left him there with his neck sliced. That started more rumors. Let's just say that no one messes with Alice anymore. Regardless of the favorable outcome, there were still the faulty parts. We were in the spot light, suspected—not by the police, but by the student body. Our behavior was careless; the next time could do us in.

"We need a set of ground rules," I said, almost to myself. I knew they were watching me with rapt attention. If anyone knew what those rules should be, it would be me and they knew it. We all wanted to kill and would make sacrifices as long as we could continue to take lives.

After my thirtieth pass before them, I stopped and turned to face my crew. They had become increasingly bored; the absorbed attention diminished probably between the twentieth and thirtieth pass. Jacob was flicking Alice in the ear while she sat on one of the embalming tables. Alice was swatting at Jacob as if he were an annoying fly; he acted like that sometimes, so the metaphor worked perfectly. Emmett was looking at the organ jars on a nearby table as if he had just received a sports car for Christmas. When they realized I had stopped moving, they all looked toward me with identical faces: shame. They knew we had over-stepped our bounds and they knew they were going to get a lecture.

"What happened out in Grover field can never happen again—we need to establish a set of rules. The first rule, and the most important one to follow, is that we don't kill anyone we know." Alice opened her mouth to protest but I raised my hand to stop her. "I know we have killed people in the past that we knew, but we can't do that anymore. If people we know keep dropping dead then someone is going to start taking notice that we are all connected in some way. We can't have that."

They were all silent for a few seconds and then they all started talking at once. I couldn't understand any of them because their voices grew louder to try and outdo the others.

"STOP!" I shouted. They did and then looked at me. "Agreed?" That was all I cared about.

There were reluctant mumbles but they all agreed with me. "Good. Let's continue. Rule two . . ."

Present Day

I sat in my truck with the phone still pressed against my ear. "Bella, sweetheart, where are you?" More sobbing. My heart felt like it was going to break. "Bella, I can't help you if you don't tell me where you are. Please, let me help you."

"I-I'm at Lauren's," she whispered through hiccups.

"I'll be right there. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I had already pulled the truck out into the street and was shifting and steering with the same hand as I flew down the street and ignored a stop sign as I turned onto another street.

"Edward . . ." My heart was pounding in my chest at my name. "I don't know. Hurry."

"I'm almost there, sweetheart," I told her, thankful that we lived in such a fucking small town. "I'm just down the street."

"Don't hang up," she sobbed. My mind was going every different direction. Did she kill Lauren? Did she kill Lauren and Mike? Did Lauren hurt her? What was wrong?

"I'm not going to hang up," I finally said.

For three minutes, as I raced down the road toward Lauren's house—though I was surprised Bella didn't say something about me knowing where that was—I just listened to Bella's erratic breathing and her quiet sobs. When I finally arrived at Lauren's house I parked behind it and ran to the back door with my phone still at my ear. I wrapped my sleeve around my fingers as I pulled the door open. No matter how panicked I felt, I would not throw caution to the wind.

I ran into the house and looked around frantically. Everything was normal; I didn't see blood or anything wrong or misplaced. Then I heard Bella's sobs and ran down the hall toward a door that was slightly ajar. I pushed it open slowly with my elbow and was met with a scene of total devastation. What the fuck happened? Though my eyes traced the line of the blood-soaked bed, the body lying upon it, and the blood splattered across the wall like confetti, the only thing I searched for was Bella. She was huddled into a corner with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her phone dropped to the floor when she saw me and I clicked mine shut and shoved it in my pocket. She was wearing a white shirt that dipped low to her breasts. You could barely see the white anymore because it was soaked in a crimson spray of blood. I ran across the room and slid down to kneel in front of her. My knee met the spongy carpet and wet noises escaped in small bubbling sounds as blood pooled up around my knee and soaked my jeans.

"Bella, sweetheart? Are you all right? Are you hurt?" I asked, my voice a little frantic. Okay, maybe a lot frantic. I was unable to keep my cool with the sight before me. I was excited, but more than that, I was terrified that something had happened to the brown-eyed girl lying in a pool of shockingly scarlet blood. The color just didn't seem natural on her pale skin. Her eyes shot to my face and I knew in that instant that she wasn't "all right," things were _not_ okay, and she was definitely hurt. She raised her arms up to circle around my neck and I pulled her to me, right into my lap where she rested her head against my chest. She shook with earth shattering sobs, though they were silent. I rubbed her hair back and kissed her forehead over and over, the smell of salt and iron—like a new penny—filled my nose.

"Edward," she whisper-sobbed into my neck.

She was covered in blood, but I didn't care. I couldn't tell whose blood it was. Was she hurt underneath it all? I held her close to me, and just let her cry and grip me. We sat in the corner of the blood soaked room for several minutes as I rocked her back and forth, her warm breath on my neck with her wet tears that trickled down my neck and soaked into my shirt. And as we sat there, I had no idea what I was going to fucking do. Edward Cullen, who always had a plan, had not a clue.

"What happened?" I practically cried. I didn't know where the strong emotions were coming from but I felt sorrow, sick, and miserable at Bella's current state. "Please baby, tell me. I'm here for you. _I won't hurt you."_ I let the truth resonate in my voice. My mind had finally reached clarity. It was true—more than true. I would not kill Isabella Newton. I couldn't. I thought that if_ I_ was the one who took her life that it would be beautiful and glorious, but there was nothing beautiful or glorious about Bella lying in a puddle of blood. Nothing at all; it was utterly heartbreaking.

"Michael came back here with . . . _her_ . . . and I sat outside and waited for him to leave. And waited . . . and waited." She took in a profound breath and shook with the depth of it. "He finally left around two. Mike opened the door and turned and began to make-out with Lauren, then slapped and grabbed her ass. When he moved from my view I saw that she was naked." Her voice lowered to barely a whisper and I pulled her closer to my ear so I could hear her. "And I just . . . _snapped_."

My eyes roamed her arms and body for any damage. But some damage is more than skin deep and can't be fixed with a band aid and a lollipop. Blood continued to pour down her body from her arm and I knew that the blood had to have been coming from her too. I wiped at it with my thumb and came across a large, deep wound. Bella hissed when I touched it and pulled into herself, closer into my embrace, while she cradled her arm.

I didn't realize I was doing it, but the low murmuring of my voice finally registered with my greater senses. I had been whispering "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over again. And it was true; I would never be more sorry than how I felt right that instant. I should have been the one to kill Lauren, not Bella. She was innocent—she didn't deserve this feeling of self-loathing. I was a killer and Bella was not.

There was a cough to my right where Lauren's body lay. I jumped and so did Bella. I turned slowly to see Lauren's chest rise and fall; blood bubbled out of her mouth and spilled down her cheek. Oh. My. Fuck. She was still alive. Lauren was still fucking alive. I let Bella go reluctantly. Her eyes followed my gaze and grew wide as saucers as she noticed the same thing I did.

"Is she . . ."

"Alive?" I nodded.

I rose to my feet and stood over Lauren's body and knew what had to be done. Bella looked at me with complete fear in her eyes.

"Should I . . . call the cops?" Bella barely whispered. I wasn't quite sure I had heard her right.

"You want to call your father?" I asked, startled.

"No—" she hesitated "—I want her . . . dead."

I agreed. If Lauren lived then Bella would go to prison. I couldn't have that. One of my rules: no witnesses. I gazed at Bella and realized that she was a fucking witness. I was so screwed. I leaned over and placed my hand over Lauren's mouth and pinched her nose shut at the same time. She flinched under my grip but was too weak to really fight me. Bella didn't say anything. If she wanted me to stop, she didn't voice it. I held on for several minutes, just to be sure. I would not allow Bella to be stuck with Lauren's death on her hands—I would do it for her, finish it. Lauren would die by my hand.

When I turned to face Bella, her mouth was slightly open. The tears had stopped but the look of absolute horror had only intensified. My heart jumped a few times in my chest. This was the moment when I would have to decide if Bella was a witness—or one of us. She placed her hand onto the blood soaked sheets and lifted herself to her feet. I looked down at her face and traced my fingers down the line of her jaw. She gazed up at me under her long lashes and brought her hands to both sides of my cheeks.

"Why did you do that?" she barely whispered. The horror in her eyes did not echo through her voice. It was relieved.

"If she lived . . . I'd lose you." I thought it was obvious. In that second I realized something. It was another big revelation, honestly. I truly, undoubtedly could not lose her; not only could I not kill her, I couldn't live without her. Ever since I had met her my life had been turned upside down and inside out, but I didn't care. I wanted her to the point of acute need. If I took her life, I'd take mine too. I noticed that she didn't go running and screaming out of the room when she saw my true nature. I loved her, and maybe, she might love me too.

She moved one of her hands down to my heart and barely mumbled, "But your soul . . . your heart." . . . is yours, I wanted to say.

I chuckled darkly. "It was tainted long before this."

She wrapped her tiny arms around my waist and put her head against my chest and I pulled her closer to me. She was comforting me.

Suddenly, the front door slammed open and I heard a booming voice. "Edward, where are you?"

"Shit," I said under my breath. Bella jumped and I turned around and pulled her behind me. "Back here, Emmett." Of course, Alice had seen this and probably sent Emmett to help clean up the mess. If Bella was taken to jail, then there would be no money for our hit-for-hire.

I heard his footsteps down the hall and when he walked into the room he stopped and his eyes roamed over the whole scene. "Whoa! Little Bella, did you do this?" There was amusement in his voice and I wanted to smack him upside the head.

"No, Emmett, I did it. Why are you here?" I wanted to protect Bella, but I didn't know how. This whole situation was starting to remind me of a fucking carnival. Oh, speaking of carnies . . . "Don't tell me, Alice sent you?"

"Indeed."

"She didn't tell Jacob, did she?" Fuck, I was so screwed if Jacob found out about anything.

"She may be annoying, but she isn't stupid." That was true. "Anyway, she was pretty pissed because she . . . was with Jasper when 'it' happened. And then she called me while I was with Rosalie . . ." He narrowed his eyes, but he didn't complain. I'd helped him out of a lot worse. Then Emmett looked around the room at the mess and whistled.

I had to agree. There was blood splattered everywhere; the bed soaked, a lamp tipped over, casting strange shapes onto the opposite wall. Lauren lay limp in the middle of the bed. There was so much blood you couldn't actually tell what had happened to her. I would have to ask Bella later.

Emmett tried to look behind me at Bella. "She looks bad, Edward. You should take her to your house and get her cleaned up. I'll take care of this." He gestured around the room.

I gave a curt nod. "Take the body to the funeral home and incinerate it." I pulled keys out of my pocket and handed them to Emmett. "Enter through the basement and call Alice to make sure Esme or Carlisle won't hear you."

Emmett raised his eyebrows at me. We'd never taken a body back to the funeral home to "get rid of evidence," at least not one that wasn't supposed to be there. Then again, we'd never been in a situation like this. We had to think fast. No body usually equaled no real criminal case.

"Incinerate her?" Bella choked behind me. I didn't answer as I reached around and seized her hand. We circled around Emmett who had a huge smile on his face. He was enjoying this much more than he should, but I knew that he liked it bloody.

"Leave no evidence. Wipe all surfaces and clean all the blood," I demanded right before I walked out of the room, probably tracking blood, and back into the "normal" part of the house. If you didn't know what was in the bedroom down the hall, you wouldn't have realized that there was anything wrong at all.

Bella followed me dutifully as I yanked the back door open and pulled her down to my truck. My eyes followed the trail of blood that covered her clothes. For a fraction of a second I thought about making her ride in the back of the truck but then knew I'd never do that to her—that was more like something I was insist on Jacob or Emmett doing. Instead, I pulled a blanket out of the back and wrapped it around her. She seemed to snuggle into it and for the first time I realized that she was shivering. I helped her into the front seat and buckled her seat belt for her. I wiped some of the blood off of her cheek and looked her straight in the eye, no flinching. "It'll be all right. I'll take care of you."

We pulled out onto the road, the heater full blast, and headed back toward my house. Everything was quiet between us until Bella broke the silence. "Why was Emmett there?"

My eyes didn't leave the road. "He came to help me." Ask a silly question . . . Let's hope she didn't go complicated on me.

"He didn't seem bothered about what he saw," she noted.

I didn't reply; she didn't ask a question.

"Why wasn't he bothered, Edward? Why weren't you bothered? And why would Alice send Emmett? How would Alice even know?" The questions spilled from her mouth so fast I could tell it was an effort for her to close her mouth.

"Bella, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to." Straight forward, no bullshit response. Another of my rules was not to tell anyone about us; but I'd be willing to break that rule for Bella . . . if she wanted to know. She didn't respond to that, which told me she didn't want to. That was fine with me; telling her might make her run from me. Then I'd have to kill her and I knew that I couldn't do that at this point.

When I pulled into my driveway Bella didn't move, so I walked around and helped her out. She followed me, her hand squeezing the fuck out of mine. We went inside the house and I took her straight upstairs toward my bathroom. I didn't want any more blood anywhere else, though most of it had dried on her skin; her clothes were still sticky and wet.

She leaned against the sink and gazed at me like she was trying to crack the code that was Edward Cullen. It was the look in her eyes that made me lose it, along with the blood on her face. She was stunning and before I knew what I was doing my body was pressing into hers. She put her hands on my cheeks again, just like she did at Lauren's house, but this time she pulled me down to her mouth and kissed me fiercely. There was no alcohol in her system this time, no reason on this planet why she would want to kiss me. She did it for another reason, one I didn't understand.

I deepened the kiss; our tongues caressed each other gently, yet intensely. I grabbed her ass and pulled her onto the counter and she wrapped her legs around my waist. The sensation was amazing and I could feel how warm she was between her legs. My breath was coming quicker and quicker and I just wanted to take her clothes off and fuck her on that counter right then. I pulled at her T-shirt which was still wet and made a sucking sound as I peeled it off. Automatically, I pulled back to see her beautiful body that had been hidden beneath her clothes.

"Start the bath," she murmured. I did.

The water hit the bottom of the tub and echoed in the silent room. Bella hopped off the counter and unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down. My eyes wanted to just stare at her, but I wanted to give her some illusion of privacy, so instead I continued to feel the water and adjust it until it was hot and I put the plug in. It started to fill with water and I finally couldn't take it anymore. My eyes found Bella, who had lost all of her clothes, down to her panties. All my fantasies, all of my dreams and wonders of what was below the waist was now there before me, just staring me in the eye, begging me to touch. I swear I could hear it calling out to me.

Bella raised her hand and looked at me with fear, passion, and horror in her eyes. She wasn't like me and the hit squad, she was a normal human who didn't enjoy killing. Of course, I killed Lauren for her. Maybe it was my way of healing some of her conscious. I took her hand and helped her into the water. She lowered herself and began to rub the water over her skin immediately; she obviously didn't like being covered in blood. I didn't blame her, neither did I.

My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket. It was Emmett. "It's Emmett. I need to take this call . . . I'll just be outside the door if you need me." She nodded at me. "I promise I'll be right back."

As I walked into my bedroom, I put the phone to my ear. "Is everything working all right, Emmett?"

"Dude, why haven't you ever let me watch you cremate someone? This is so fucking cool!" I think if I would allow it, Emmett would hang out at the funeral home all day, every day.

"So everything is going well, I suppose?" I asked tersely.

"Oh, yes. Things are great. I just wanted to let you know that. Oh, and Alice wanted to tell you that she knows what you're going to do and that she isn't happy with you." Emmett chuckled. "She's a hard pixie to please."

"That she is," I sighed. "Listen, I've got to go . . ."

"Yeah, yeah. Bella is at your house." Emmett started singing porn-worthy music through the phone and chuckling. I shut my phone before he started making sex noises to go along with the music.

When I walked into the bathroom the first thing I saw was that the bath water was pink, almost a beautiful fluorescent color. Bella's skin was a perfect pale, slick with water and shining under the light in my bathroom. I had dimmed the light to make her feel more comfortable. She had curled in upon herself, as if she were trying to make herself as small as possible.

Seeing her naked, in my bathtub, was sort of like my fantasy come true. Under the circumstances of it all I couldn't help but be completely turned on by everything; from the events of the early morning to this scene in my bathroom. Death still turned me on, but Bella turned me on even more—and that thrilled me.

Bella was sobbing quietly, her head down on her knees. At that point, I wasn't sure what to do. She must have heard me move closer because she looked up into my face, her eyes puffy, her lips swollen and red, and her face littered with salty tears. "What am I going to do?" she asked, her lips trembling.

I sat next to the tub and let my fingers trail in the water. It was very hot, so I knew she wasn't cold. "You let me take care of that," I told her, very seriously. "Your job right now is to take some time off work, and let me deal with the situation."

Another sob escaped her mouth as she looked up at me with those trusting eyes. That was all it took and I was in the bathtub with her, fully dressed. As I lowered myself into the bathtub, I could feel my clothes close in on me and stick to my skin. Bella's eyes flashed with some emotion that I could not read as I slid myself closer to her body, my legs surrounding her. She kept her sight on me as she watched my every movement like a hawk, as if she were trying to figure out my next move. I wasn't sure of my next move, all I knew was that I wanted to be there for her, to comfort her, to bring her happiness again, or even to help her wash off the stain of Lauren's death. Whatever it was that I was going to do, I knew it would be Bella's decision on how far she'd let me move or touch.

The addition of my bloody clothes in the water turned it utterly red.

Our eyes locked and I grabbed for the bar of soap and washcloth without losing those sweet brown eyes. I dipped them both in the water and began to lather up. Bella bit her bottom lip and I pulled my thumb out of the water to pull her lip free. Her measured stare was caught up in my eyes. For several moments I wasn't sure which one of us was the charmer, and which one was the snake.

"Don't be nervous, sweetheart. I'm just going to help you wash your . . . injuries." She nodded her head slowly and I slipped closer to her body. A large wave crashed between us, but nothing seemed to stop her penetrating gaze on my face. "If they are serious, we'll need to patch you up." Like a magnet, her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip again. I mimicked my movements from a few seconds before and pulled her lip free and then traced my hand over the healing scar on her forehead from when she fell down my steps. "I'll be gentle with you, I promise."

I had officially become a wimp, and I didn't care. The only thing that mattered in that moment was Bella. We had sealed ourselves off in our own little bubble, and that was fine for this evening. If she wanted it, that would be fine for the rest of our lives.

My hand slid underwater as I pulled her feet toward me. Her eyes went wide as she slipped backward in the tub, though I caught her around the waist with my legs. She was close to me now; her breath was cold on my wet skin. I was instantly hard against her body, but I couldn't let this be a gratification for me—this had to be about Bella. Only her.

I rubbed the soapy washcloth down her back and over her arms. I could tell the soap stung as I went over her wounds. Her fingers clung to my arms as if she would sink into the water if she didn't.

"How did you receive these wounds?" I whispered in her ear as I washed her backside.

She put her chin on my shoulder and breathed into my ear. "She pulled a knife and we struggled. I . . . won."

"That you did, sweet girl." I pulled away so I could see her face. She looked up at me in wonderment, something slithering behind her eyes. Her breath circled around my face, down my neck. I engulfed her sweet smell and she went after my lips.

We kissed passionately, sweetly, softly for several minutes. In my lifetime, I could never remember being this gentle with anyone; or being this intimate. She pushed my mouth open with her tongue and explored my mouth, as I did in turn. I was instantly regretting the fact that I was wearing clothes in the bathtub; my body ached for skin-on-skin contact. Bella agreed because she started trying to unbutton my shirt. She gave up pretty quickly as she ripped each button off, one by one, slowly. My breath caught in my throat each time I heard a little _clink_ of my buttons hitting the tiled floor or wall.

My fingers traced down her body, around her neck and pulled her closer to me. Together, in our wild haste, we ripped my shirt off of my body and it hit the ground with a great slopping noise. Bella pulled away and smiled. She fucking smiled. And then she giggled. I couldn't help it, I returned her smile.

"Hey beautiful, what are you smiling at?" I was just so happy she wasn't crying anymore that I wanted to continue to make her smile and laugh like that.

"The sound of your shirt." She blushed, but I wasn't sure why. It was beautiful, she was beautiful. She looked over the side of the tub and she giggled again. Oh, the simplest things seemed to please her.

"Bella . . ." I said coarsely as I brought her attention back to me. "I need you. I need you like I've never needed anyone." My voice was breathy and rough. "Are you okay with that? Would you be all right?"

Her eyes snapped toward mine and her gaze was so heated, so intense, that I was sure that she would melt me from the inside. She made things wiggle deep down and I felt strained in the soaked jeans. Before I could say anything else Bella was on me. She pushed me deep into the water until only my head was poking out of the steaming bath. She waded her way through like a succubus, and many dirty, dirty thoughts ran through my head. She yanked at my jeans and was unable to get them unbuttoned. I reached down to help and there was just no getting the damn things off. Bella pulled away from me and looked at me with her burning eyes. I stood instantly and yanked my jeans off and let them smack sloppily to the ground along with my shirt.

Bella stood and blood-stained water slid down her body in the most delicious way I had ever seen, like red rivers. She was utterly slick with it and I wondered what other parts of her were . . . slick. She reached up on tip-toe and licked my lip. My heart practically burst from my chest and I couldn't take it any longer. I had to have her and I was going to take her, right in the middle of the bloody bathwater. I slammed her against the bathroom tile and she grunted but it didn't stop her from pulling my hair until our mouths met and she moaned in my mouth, moaning my name. I licked down her neck and to her ear.

"Edward, I've wanted you since the first time I saw you, since you first fixed the flat on my car."

I breathed into her ear and continued to nibble, lick, and even bite. "Me too, beautiful Bella. Me too. I want you so bad, right now, right here." My breath was so ragged I wasn't sure anything I said made sense.

Her heart beat wildly against my chest, her breasts slick between us. She panted and moaned and all I did was touch every last inch of her, and avoid all of her most sensitive areas. I didn't want to push her, and I didn't want to do anything to her she didn't want done, but my self control was minimal at best. Then she bit my fucking neck and it hurt. I growled against her as if I had become a wild animal. I was so close to acting the part—it only made sense.

"I need you, Edward." Bella trailed her hands down my chest and continued downward until she held me in her hand. I grunted and our lips slammed together. She began to move me toward her and I pulled away as if we'd been electrocuted.

She gave me the most pained look I had ever seen. "Please," she begged and tears trailed down her face.

I closed the distance between us. "Shhh, sweetheart. Please, don't cry. I want you—I really, really, really, really want you right now. But I need to know that this is really what you want, if it is what you need too."

"It's more than a need, Edward," Bella cried out. "It's an ache, deep within my soul. I need you like I need air, without you I'll suffocate. Please . . . just touch me, make me feel . . . _something_, anything but the pain I feel when you aren't touching me."

I had no idea . . . I moved toward her, waded through the foot of water and pulled her to me. She jumped and wrapped her legs around my waist. I could feel how close I was to her, how warm she was between her legs. I understood what she said, it was more than a need—it was an ache. Completely indescribable.

I carried her into my bedroom, threw her on my bed, and she looked up at me with her glowing, burning eyes that begged me without words to do things to her that I had only dreamed of. I crawled toward her on the bed and her eyes never left mine. Something intense showed beneath the surface of the honeyed brown, and I couldn't look away, even though I wanted to swallow her body whole just with my eyes. Instead, I touched her; her thighs, stomach, arms—which I was delicate with considering the deep gashes. She didn't seem to mind it too much. I brought my lips down to her stomach and nibbled around her naval, my eyes never leaving the deep depths of hers. They held me and I was sure I was the snake—she was my charmer. I would have done anything she asked.

Suddenly, her head flew back and she screamed out, "Touch me, Edward. Please stop teasing me." Her voice grew low, a quiet whisper. "Please . . ."

I couldn't take my need, her begging, or the desire that welled around us like a tangible thing anymore! I kissed down to her thigh and licked around her clit. She squirmed, pleaded, writhed beneath my touch. She was magnificent and I loved what I was doing to her. Bella grabbed the cover on the bed and bunched it up in her tiny hands. "Don't tease me. Please."

I went for her clit and sucked on it, bit, nibbled and listened to each of her reactions as I moved my tongue back and forth.

"More," she demanded and I circled my finger around her opening, my tongue still doing the tango on her clit. She cried out my name. I moaned against her and the vibration must have sent her over the edge because her back bowed and her pussy tightened around my finger in pulsating waves. My breathing was as rough as hers because I was just as turned on.

I kissed my way up her stomach and she pulled me toward her quicker and kissed me full on the lips. Her wetness was on my mouth and she seemed to enjoy that as much as me being down below. I moaned as my cock touched her wetness. I wanted in so badly, but I didn't know if I had already pushed my limits with Bella.

"Bella," I choked out. "I . . ."

She reached between us and rubbed my cock over her and I nearly collapsed on top of her with the feeling. She felt different—right, perfect, wonderful. There were not enough adjectives to describe the wondrous being that was below me. She glowed with admiration, love, and pure sex. I breathed her in as I planted kiss after kiss down her neck, her breasts, her sweet mouth. With her firm grip on my cock, I could tell she wanted me to take her fully. So I did. Our bodies fit together so perfectly and I could feel how warm she was as I entered her slowly. She was so small, as if she were a virgin. I wondered briefly how long it had been since Mike and her had made any kind of love, but knew by the feel of her that it had been quite some time.

A loud guttural sound came out of her chest as her head flung back. I filled her completely and pulled back out slowly, agonizingly slow. I sat up and pushed inside her again, wrapped my arm around her waist, and brought her up to me so she sat on my thighs. Her fiery gaze was back again and I was sure my eyes were the greenest fire she'd ever seen. I let her take control as she moved up and down, inch by painfully pleasant inch. Our eyes were locked on each other and I knew, just with the feel of our bodies touching, that we were reaching inside each other with our souls, mingling together to bond and make this moment beautiful and glorious. We were slick together between her wetness, the bath, and our sweat. She glided around me as if she had been doing this for years, as if she had always belonged in my bed, with me inside her.

Her hands held my cheeks so my eyes wouldn't leave hers. The action was unnecessary—I was trapped in her gaze like an animal ensnared in quicksand.

I continued to sink into her gaze and the rhythm of our bodies made delicate music around us, as if our own bubble had formed and no one could hurt us. Soft moans escaped her lips, and every time she moaned she grew tighter around me. I groaned along with her and soon there was an orchestra of our moans, cries, and animal sounds.

Bella let go of my face and our lips crashed together as I pushed her up the bed until her back was to the headboard. She moved faster over top of me, still sitting on my legs, and I was doing everything I could to keep myself under control. She grabbed at my arms, my back, my butt and pushed me in deeper until I hit some wall inside her. She screamed out with pleasure and tried to move me inside her like that again. Each thrust when our bodies met was accented with a completely wild cry of absolute satisfaction between the two of us. I knew if she kept this up that I was not going to last so I tried to think "baseball, baseball, baseball," but nothing could take my mind from the goddess that I held in my arms.

Bella pulled at the back of my hair hard until I cried out in pain, but it only made me grow harder, which I hadn't known was possible. Our rhythm changed into something animalistic as we tore at each other, and tried to get closer and thrust harder. Her pussy grew tighter and tighter around my cock and I knew that she was about to explode again. I pulled her close to my body and hugged her there. She struggled to move but I wouldn't let her. I wasn't ready to let her go. Not yet. I wasn't done loving, admiring, and treasuring every last inch of her body with mine. I was drinking her in as she moaned and cried out for me to let her move, let her finally have her release.

"Not yet, my sweet Bella. I want you to come with me," I murmured in her ear and she relaxed against me and let me slow the rhythm down.

I pulled her away from the headboard and laid her gently onto the bed and let our love making turn from animalistic to truly the only thing I felt I could offer her—my love. I moved in and out of her with patience and care.

There was something new behind her eyes, I saw it slide into place the moment I slowed our pace down. She pulled my face between her little palms again, looked me straight in the eye, and I knew that she could read my soul—the good and the bad. All the awful things I had done, all the death, terror, and torture. She could feel the coldness that came with that part of me and she still gazed at me like it didn't matter. And maybe it didn't to her. She brought her lips to mine softly, sweetly, and then pulled away. "I love you, Edward Cullen," she whispered and a single tear fell down her cheek.

I kissed the tear away, slowing down so we were barely moving together and brought my lips to her ear. "I've been waiting to hear those words from your voice my whole life." I pulled back and gazed down at Bella, her wild wet hair scattered across my bed, a tint of blood still traced on her skin, and my nibbles and kisses marked her body. "I love you, Isabella _Swan_."

In that moment of perfect togetherness, we both exploded and moaned and cried the others name. Her walls tightened around me and I filled her until there was nothing left of either of us but the wild beatings of our hearts and the up and down movement from the untamed panting of our breath. Then there was just Bella in my arms, softly crying. It was a mixture between happiness and complete sadness for the events that had happened.

A sliver of light from a new dawn raced across my room behind the curtains and I knew in that moment that Bella could see the single—and only—tear that had ever escaped my eye.

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_Luxury! More perilous to youth than storms or__quicksand__, poverty or chains.__—_Hannah More

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**A/N:** We know your favorite FFN stories are currently being removed from FF. If our story continues to gain popularity, it is only a matter of time before we are targeted. You can find us at The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS) under "DevilishPleasures."

Thank you Bri for being our beta for all of these chapters, but she had to step down due to just being too busy. So, we'd like to give a HUGE thank you to Lisa for stepping into those shoes.

Thanks for the wait, but this chapter had to be just right. We hope that you enjoyed it. If you leave a **review** we will reply with a preview of the next chapter.

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	13. 12 Dismal World

**Wicked Angel**

**12. Dismal World**

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_I'm captured in a dismal world within my own lies_

_And without an end to reach_

_Crawling for shelter intoxicated_

_Nothing I can trust and nothing is what it seems to be_

—Callenish Circle

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Bella eventually feel asleep. The sheet covered up to her waist so I rubbed small circles along her back as I watched her sleep. She was lying on her stomach with her face resting on the pillow in my direction. Her hair draped in cascading waves on my bed . . . she looked like an angel. I was actually a bit surprised at how calm and peaceful she was in her sleep after her earlier panicked and shocked state before we made love.

_I, Edward Cullen, had made love._

I had witnessed a lot of shit in my life—things that would curl your toes. Shit that would make grown men cry and scare the crap out of them. But nothing—and I mean _nothing_—scared me more than the petite, beautiful woman who lay next to me in my bed. None of the bloodshed in the world would frighten me more than knowing that she loved me, and that I loved her in return.

Death and destruction I could deal with, no problem. But ask me to protect someone and to keep them safe and I was a fish out of water. I had already come to the conclusion that I could not—would not— kill her. But that didn't make the situation go away. I knew there were a lot of obstacles we still had to deal with and in all honesty, I had no fucking idea how to get us out of this. If it meant running away with her, leaving everything behind and starting over, I'd do it. But for now I needed to remain calm. I knew that once the reality of everything hit Bella, she was going to freak out. She wasn't a monster like I was; she was good, and death and murder were not things that were easily brushed off for someone like her, nor should it be. She was too fucking good to ever be compared to someone like me.

"Good morning," she whispered with her eyes still closed.

I jumped slightly, startled out of my reverie.

"Sorry if I scared you," she said as she rolled over onto her back and stretched.

"You have no fucking idea," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh nothing, never mind," I told her as I got a full view of her breasts now that she was on her back. I reached out and cupped her tit, squeezing gently while running my thumb over her hardened nipple. I leaned in and kissed her.

"Mmmm," she moaned into my mouth as her hands immediately went up into my hair.

I shifted myself on top of her, settling between her thighs, before I pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes. "How did you sleep?"

Her face turned serious. "Much better than I probably should have. I know I'm going to have to deal with everything that happened yesterday, but being in your bed, in your arms, I have never felt safer or more at peace in my entire life."

I looked down at her, amazed. She smiled sweetly at me and I tried my best to not show her how bittersweet those words were to me. I loved her but I had also been hired to kill her. Now that that idea had been blown all to hell, it was my duty to find a way out of our situation and to keep her safe. I reached out and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear before I felt her arch her back and push her hips up into me.

"Edward, please," she whispered.

I reached down in between us and slid my dick right to her entrance and entered her slowly. She was already wet and her eyes burned into mine, eager. Neither of us broke that eye contact. What I saw in her eyes was love—an emotion I never thought would be directed towards me. It was the same look that Esme and Carlisle gave each other.

Bella and I shared a few chaste kisses, but for the most part we just rested our foreheads together and gazed into each other's eyes as I continued to move in and out of her slowly.

In all the sex I had ever participated in this was the tamest in comparison, but it was by far the most fucking intense. Bella consumed me—mind, body, and soul. Soul . . . it wasn't until I met her that I realized I had one.

After several minutes, I felt her legs wrap around my waist and her nails dug into my back.

"Oh, Edward! Faster, please."

"Bella . . . baby . . . I'll give you anything you want." I started to thrust into her faster. My mouth finally found hers and I took her tongue in, sucking it like my life depended on it. After a few more thrusts I felt her pussy contract and she screamed out my name. Her nails dug deeply into my back and it hurt, but hurt so fucking good. I came immediately and released myself in her, filling her. She was mine now . . . outside and in. I honestly couldn't understand why Mike-the-douchebag ever wanted to let this go—this feeling. It didn't matter anymore because I had her now; I'd give her what Mike wouldn't.

After I kissed her once, more deeply, I rolled off of her and pulled her with me so she was nestled against my chest. My fingers ran through her hair as she drew circles on my chest and stomach with hers.

"What time is it?" she asked me, then placed a kiss on my chest.

I lifted my head slightly and looked at my alarm clock on the nightstand. "Seven o'clock," I told her.

She groaned. "I should probably go call out of work."

"Bella," I said as I lifted her head so it was still resting on my chest. She was now gazing up at me. "I think you should try to go to work. I know what I said last night, but you need to keep up a normal appearance. I'd love for us both to stay here all day, but not showing up for work today could come back to bite you in the ass much more than if you were to go and carry on with your life as usual."

I immediately felt Bella start to shake and her eyes welled up with tears. Oh shit, what did I say? Her hand shot up to her mouth. "Oh God, Edward, what have I done?"

I sat up quickly and pulled her so she was cradled in my lap. I grabbed her chin between my thumb and pointer finger and turned her head so she had to look directly at me. "You listen to me Bella, you did nothing. It was self defense. She came at you with a knife and you had to protect yourself. Anything that happened after that was done by me and I will deal with the consequences. This whole thing dies and gets buried in this room right now. Isabella, do you hear me? Do you understand me? I killed her—me, not you!"

She looked like she wanted to say something but she stopped herself and just nodded slightly at me.

I kissed her again and hugged her tightly to me in an attempt to try and make any tension or fear she was feeling to somehow transfer to me. I could fucking deal with it and she couldn't. I would happily carry the burden for her—that was why I finished Lauren off, even though she wouldn't have survived. It was my way of protecting her.

"I want you to go and take a nice, hot shower," I told her. "I'm going to call Alice and have her drop off some clothes that you can wear to work. I'm also going to get you some water and a Xanax for you to take so you will at least be able to calm down enough to get through the day."

"What will I do after work?" she asked me as she rose up off my lap and kneeled so she faced me.

"I'll send Alice over to your house today once we know Mike isn't there and she will pack up your clothes. I'll have her bring your stuff to the _Olympic Suites Inn, _you know the place over on Olympic Dive?" She nodded in ascent. "I'll make sure you receive a key before you leave work. Go over there right after work and I will meet you shortly after. You don't open the door to anyone. Do you understand me, Isabella? No one!"

Once Bella had started the shower, I threw on some pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. I walked downstairs and immediately called Alice.

"Well, well, well," she said in her most annoying, bitchy assed voice. "Look who needs my help now that he is thoroughly satisfied from being fucked all night."

"Alice," I said in warning. "Now is not the time for your fucking mouth, so just shut up."

"My, oh my," she said. "I thought after finally fucking Bella you would be in a much better mood. Was she not that good?"

"Seriously, Pixie, if you were standing in front of me right now you would be inches away from being six feet under."

"I don't doubt it," she responded back seriously. "Now that I know you and Bella work as a team, I am kind of afraid of you two." She laughed, but it had no humor to it.

My silence indicated to Alice that I had clearly had enough and I was not even remotely finding her "humor" funny at all.

"Okay, quit being a fucking baby," she barked at me through the phone. "I'll go get her shit from her house as soon as that asshole leaves and I will drop it off at the hotel. Tell her I will leave the key to the room in the glove compartment in her car."

My temper started to ease. "Thanks, Alice. I owe you one."

She burst out laughing. "Oh Edward, I think you owe me a hell of a lot more than _one_." _Not like she didn't owe me anything_, I thought sarcastically to myself. "But it's no sweat; I'm feeling very generous lately." She paused. I heard the voice of a man in the background telling her to come back to bed. I rolled my eyes. _Jasper_.

"I'm happy too, Edward. You aren't the only one getting laid around here." I heard Jasper growl and Alice giggled. I didn't think I had ever heard Alice giggle. "Oh, Edward," she said quickly. "I dropped a duffle bag off at your place last night. It's right inside the front door." Alice moaned suddenly. _Ugh . . . gross._ The phone went dead when one of them hung it up on me.

I dropped the phone down on the counter all too quickly. It was almost as if I was afraid if I held it too much longer I was going to get a visual of Alice and Jasper having sex. I walked over to the front door where a small duffle bag sat on the floor, just as Alice had said. I unzipped it and looked inside where I found a pair of black dress pants, a white button down dress shirt, and a pair of black heels. There was even a pair of black lace panties and matching bra. I knew that those were for Bella so she could dress for work. _Oh . . . and don't think I didn't look at the bra size as I headed back up to my bedroom and let a little sly smile spread across my lips . . . but I digress._

Just as I stepped into my room, Bella exited the bathroom, wrapped in one of my big oversized bath towels. She turned to me a bit shyly and smiled.

"Here," I said and I handed her the duffle bag of clothes.

"Thanks," she responded as she looked into the bag. "How did Alice know my size? And for that matter, how did she get here so quickly?"

"Oh . . . she dropped this off last night when I went to get you. She knew you'd need something to wear . . ." I quickly stopped my mouth, immediately realizing I had said more than I should have.

"I knew there was something I was meaning to ask you about last night." Oh shit. "How the hell did Alice know to send Emmett? And how the hell could she know that I would need a change of clothes?" The look of panic and confusion on her face was unnerving.

_Shit! _Me and my big fucking mouth. How was I supposed to explain this to her without saying too much? The less Bella knew, the better off she was. I told her last night not to ask questions she didn't want to know the answers to. Well, I guess she really wanted those answers now—and I probably owed them to her. I ran one hand through my hair, roughly pulling at it, as my other hand swept down my face in attempt to wipe off the "I'm fucked" look I was surely giving her.

"Edward, I just need to know what the fuck is going on, please. This doesn't just affect you." Her voice rose in panic. But damn, she was right.

"Okay, okay," I said as I reached out to grab her hand and pull her toward me. I sat on the bed and she cuddled into my lap. She pulled her towel tighter around her and it looked like she was trying to protect herself—which immediately made me feel like an asshat. My eyes shot down and I shook my head before I gazed back up at her. I cupped her face in my hands. "Bella, do you trust me?"

"Wha-what?" she asked cautiously.

"I need to know if you trust me. I can help you through all this, but I need you to trust me. There are certain things that I can't tell you right now, even though I know you are a smart girl and will start coming up with your own explanations, but right now your ignorance about everything is what will keep you safe."

Fear ran across her face. "Edward, you are scaring me."

"I know," I said and felt ashamed. My head shot down—I couldn't even look her in the eyes.

She took a deep breath before she lifted my face up to look her in the eyes. "It is my understanding that Alice knows? I know that Emmett knows, but is that it?"

"Yes," I told her honestly.

"Okay," she replied softly. "And my answer is yes then."

The confusion must have shown on my face.

"I trust you, Edward. With my life."

She had no idea how much weight those words carried.

Bella kissed me softly before she stood and went back into the bathroom to change.

I called a cab for Bella to take her to her house so she could get her car and drive to work. Emmett had left a message on my phone to inform me that he had parked her car there—far away from Lauren's. Even though Bella planned to move out of their house, it was still not a good idea for Bella and I to be seen together. If I drove her home or to work and we were seen together after Mike and Bella's very public fight . . . well, it was just way too risky to do right then. When the cab arrived, I walked Bella to the front door and held her tightly to me.

"Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart," I told her seriously. "Call me if you need anything today. I'll be there in an instant." She leaned up and gave me a long, deep kiss before she opened the front door and headed toward the cab. I watched and shut the door only when I knew she was safely inside the cab.

After Bella left, I quickly showered and made my way over to work. I wanted to go about my day as normally as possible, and I also wanted to make sure that Emmett had "taken care" of the Lauren situation correctly, and didn't leave me any mess to clean up. I knew the chance of that was non-existent because Emmett was very thorough and neat. Well, neat in the clean-up. When he kills . . . let's just say that Lauren's death was clean in comparison.

Just as I predicted, everything was in place where it should have been when I arrived at work. There were no issues that I needed to take care of regarding the Lauren situation, so I set to get my day started. I had a shit load of paperwork that I needed to catch up on.

The morning was quiet. At noon, I was sitting at my desk typing up several death certificates when I heard the front door open. There were footsteps upstairs and I hoped that Carlisle would greet whoever had stopped in. My customer service skills would be ridged and slack today—no need to upset someone who had lost their loved one if I could help it. I still had to keep up somewhat of a reputation as being a nice guy.

"Hey, Jacob," I heard Carlisle say. His voice held an edge to it—Carlisle never fully trusted Jacob. He was a smart man.

"Doctor Cullen," Jacob replied dryly. "I'm just here to see Edward."

I heard more footsteps, closer to the stairs now. "He's downstairs."

"Thank you," Jacob responded politely. Jacob always tried to suck up to my adoptive parents. He hated the fact that they didn't trust him—I think it had something to do with his own parents.

"Edward?" I heard Jacob's voice call out to me from the top of the stairs.

"Yeah, down here," I called.

Jacob descended down the stairs loudly before he appeared in my office.

"Hey douche," he greeted me.

"Fuckhead." I nodded back.

He looked around the room and noticed the covered body down at one of the end tables that I was going to be working on after I was done with my paperwork. "How the fuck do you deal with having dead bodies just lying around in the room while you work? You treat them like it they are just another piece of fucking furniture," he said and visibly shuddered.

I grinned. "Since when do you get creeped out by a dead body?"

Jacob turned back toward the body. "When I kill someone it is different. I'm not sitting around, hanging out with the stiff fucker afterwards," he said and glanced back at me. I gave him cold eyes—no emotions. "Oh, well." He shrugged before he jumped up and sat on one of the empty tables near my desk. He pulled out a bag of what I assumed were chocolate covered peanuts. He held the bag out to me. "Want one?" he offered. I shook my head no. "Suite yourself," he said and popped one in his mouth.

"So Jacob," I said, "to what do I deserve this little visit today?" In attempt not to show my tension, I went back to work.

"Oh, yeah . . . that," he said very nonchalant. "What's the status on the Newton job?"

My eyes shot up from my desk and I dropped my pen. It rolled across my desk and fell to the floor with a little _tink_ noise. Jacob's eyebrows pulled together as he looked at me a little weird—questioningly.

We both sat across from the other in silence for a few seconds before I got my shit together.

"Why the fuck are you talking about that shit here?" I said quickly. "We don't discuss that stuff in our normal places of business," I hissed at him so he wouldn't be suspicious of my reaction.

My words seemed to make sense to him and he looked like I had appeased his curiosity over my first reaction.

"Look, you know I normally wouldn't come here and talk to you about this shit but Mike came to me this morning and he needs to have this shit moved along. I know you are doing research and all that shit, but apparently the asshole got himself caught with his pants around his ankles . . . literally . . . by the old ball and chain. He is pretty sure she is going to file for divorce. He needs this hit done before that happens or else he won't have access to her life insurance policy and it will be a lot more suspicious if she turns up dead." He threw a peanut in the air and caught it in his mouth.

His ease and nonchalance of talking about Bella's death had me fuming. It took all the self control I had to keep me glued to that seat and not sprinting across the room where I would choke Jacob to death. My hands squeezed into my knees so roughly that I was surely going to have bruises.

"Well?" he pushed.

"I heard you," I snapped.

"Geez, what the fuck has gotten into you today?" He popped another fucking peanut into his mouth.

"First, you are asking me to move my hit up because of a jackass, pansy boy who can't keep his shit in his pants," I spat. "Second, I don't like you showing up at my work and telling me how to do my fucking job. You know why I have to take my time with this and I'm not going to do a sloppy fucking job just to move this along." I stood and gripped the edge of my desk with force. "Tell Mike that he better make this better or he is shit out of luck." I almost smiled at the thought of Mike apologizing to Bella—possibly in public so he looked like more of a douche. But I was able to suppress it under my current bout of anger.

"Oh fuck it man . . . I know you have to be careful because she lives in the town and shit, but her father is the police chief. There are bound to be a few fucked up assholes out there who would love nothing more than to enact revenge against the old man, and killing his daughter would be a perfect way to do it. If you want, I'll fucking do it. We need to get this shit done, and we need to get it done fast."

"No!" I said entirely too quickly—loudly and passionately as I jumped and stalked around my desk and slammed my fists into the nearest autopsy table.

Jacob looked over at me and cocked his eyebrow at me.

"No," I said again, this time much more calmly. "You can't just 'off' her. Her insurance policy doesn't cover murder—only accidental death and natural causes. You and I both know that you suck at accidental deaths. You always try to make shit personal. Plus," I snapped, "I started this and _I will finish it._ No one finishes my work . . . ever!" He knew I wasn't fucking around.

"Well that's the Edward I know and love," he told me as he jumped down from the table. "Handle it," he called back to me over his shoulder as he started to make his way up the stairs. His footsteps echoed as he walked across the floor above me.

"Leaving so soon?" Carlisle asked hopefully.

"Yes, sir. Edward is too busy for lunch, apparently." The door opened and slammed shut.

"Good riddance," I heard Carlisle say. It wasn't like him to say stuff like that; it was just Jacob he felt animosity towards.

I fell back down into my chair and put my head in my hands and started to pull on my hair. I needed to come up with a plan . . . and quick. Time was running out and I was not willing to play around with Bella's life.

About thirty minutes later, Carlisle descended the steps and dropped a white paper bag in front of me. It smelled like Mexican food. Carlisle pulled up a chair and sat across from me. He immediately began to unpack the food, not saying a word. He passed me a plate full of something that resembled fajita's but just looked like a pile of mush.

"I really don't like you hanging out with that kid, Jacob. There is just something off about him," Carlisle said.

"I know what you mean," I mumbled through a bite of food. I hadn't realized how starving I was until then. I hoped that Bella ate something for lunch.

Carlisle put his fork down and stared at me as if I had grown a third arm and was doing tricks with it. "Okay . . . where is Edward and what have you done with my son? Did you two get into a fight?" He smiled at the thought.

"No. It's nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes. It's just . . ." I growled—yeah, I was definitely frustrated. For the first time in a long time, I wanted Carlisle's advice and guidance, but I knew I couldn't talk about it with him. "Nothing."

Carlisle scooted his chair closer and really looked at me. I was afraid of what he would see in my eyes so I looked away. Carlisle grabbed my chin and turned my face toward him. He just gazed at my face, studying it carefully like there was some artful tattoo that was interestingly plastered there. "It's about a girl."

I blinked at him.

"You're in love with someone," he said matter-of-factly and a smile exploded across his face. He let go of my face. "I never thought . . ."

"How'd you . . .?"

"It isn't hard to tell. It's written across your face. So, who is the lady and why haven't your mother and I met her?" he asked happily.

"It's complicated" was the best I could come up with.

"Oh," he said and comprehension dawned on his face. "She's with someone else." He stated it—there was no question.

Damn perceptive, know-it-all doctor! My silence was a confirmation.

"Well," he started cautiously, "I have never seen you date anyone, Edward. The look on your face . . . do whatever you have to do to keep it. Love is hard to come by—you shouldn't let it slip away."

"And what of the complications?" I wondered, being sincere.

"Love is messy, son. It's not always pretty and perfect. You have to fight to keep it, even if it means that others don't agree. Don't let anyone get in your way."

My heart felt some relief at his words, though I was sure he didn't know the weight of his words. I nodded slowly.

We ate our lunch in silence after that. Neither of us were men of many words and silence between us was comfortable.

After Carlisle left, I stayed holed up in my office for the rest of the day. To be honest, I had been in a fucking foul mood ever since Jake left, even if Carlisle had made me feel an ounce better. After avoiding calls from Emmett and Alice after lunch, I decided to shut my phone off for a little while because I wasn't up to answering any questions about what was going to happen with Bella. Being that Alice was a god damned psychic, I knew it was only a matter of time—fuck, maybe minutes—before she'd come barging in my office or through my apartment door demanding to know why Bella was no longer going to die and how I needed to stay focused because we were a team on some mission. At least she didn't know what my heart held. Some things were still private.

My face flared up with anger when I thought about how Emmett and Alice had conveniently found a significant other, and both seemed to be really taken by Rosalie and Jasper to the point that I didn't need to be a mind reader to know my two best friends had started to fall in love. I had never seen Emmett treat a woman with such respect as he did Rose, and Alice? Shit, that pixie was all over Jasper's dick like a fat kid in the junk food aisle of a grocery store. Alice never pursued, but rather she would stalk out her prey, hypnotizing them into submission until they were on their hands and knees, practically panting for her to give them some attention. Now it was Alice who was purring with delight, ready and willing to take her marching orders from one Jasper Hale.

Don't get me wrong, I was very happy for my friends who were fortunate enough to find their missing puzzle piece and all that crap, considering all the bullshit they had to endure through their lives. However, I had a very distinct feeling that if they knew just how fucking deep my emotions ran for Bella, my best buds wouldn't be feeling so joyous for me, and I had to admit, that stung a little. Okay, yes, Bella was my next target, the crème of the crop assignment, but that had all changed once I got to know first-hand what an amazing fucking woman Bella Swan was. Yeah, that's right . . . Swan. No fucking way was she ever going to be referred to as Newton and have that fucker attached to her.

Sure, Emmett and Alice knew that I wanted to fuck Bella for a bit until I killed her, but that was no longer the case, and for the first time in my life, I couldn't be happier. I felt lighter, as if anything was possible, like actually trying to take the biggest step in my life, which was to not act upon the urge to kill anymore. Meeting Bella and falling in love with her was beginning to change my perception on the value of a human life. My angel was too valuable to be erased from this world. She was good, pure, and her soul was far too precious to destroy. In fact, it would be a sin, and that was one sin I had no desire to commit . . . ever. Yet, if I would have never made the conscious decision to help her with that flat tire, I would have ended her life and would probably never have known what I had done to the world. The world without Bella? Well, that wasn't a world at all.

Just because she had been dealt a shitty hand herself didn't stop her from prevailing, but it didn't mean she should have to suffer the consequences of others. I knew right then that I wouldn't let Mike Newton rule her life anymore. Could it be that's what Emmett, Alice, Jake, and I had been doing for years? Letting our bad luck dictate how we lived our lives? Sure, we were an odd bunch, and still are, but did I really have to go and kill every single person that wronged us? In fact, most of my killings that I had committed back then were people that Emmett, Jake, or Alice had gripes with, not necessarily me. I was constantly the go-to man that put out their fires when they weren't strong enough to do it themselves. Secretly, I was happier when I had been given an assignment by Jake to kill some random guy that someone hired us to off instead of it being someone who pissed Alice off to no end. I delighted in the kill, not the vengeance.

_Jesus, what the hell is happening to me?_ Never in my life had I thought about quitting cold turkey and stopping my murderous ways. I would admit that, although this felt so foreign that it scared me shitless, I realized that the prize for giving that part of my life up was too incredible and tempting—Bella . . . and she was all fucking mine. We both marked each other last night—with our bites and nibbles, and with sex. She loved me and I loved her, a fact that had me practically walking on air, but it would possibly come all crashing down if she ever found out about my little side projects. Bella had to hear the truth from me because I had a feeling that one day someone would tell her, and everything that we would have worked for to enhance our relationship would come to bite me in the ass. I needed to be the one who told her everything, right down to my very first kill. Bella was my saving grace, my beacon of hope in this fucking dismal world, and I needed to confess my sins to her before someone wanted to take it upon themselves to tell her, like Alice or Emmett. Or more than anyone—Jacob. It was difficult to think that the people closest to me could betray me like that. Once they find out that I truly did not intend to go through with this ridiculous murder assignment . . . well, let's just say that I couldn't shake the assumption that either one of them would be soo pissed at losing out in a lump sum of money that they would want to crush my happiness—or possibly me.

Was I really happy? Fuck yes I was! Nothing else mattered to me anymore except for Bella and building a life with her. I wasn't about to give her up, so for now, I would completely play it cool with my friends . . . test the waters, so to speak. If things got too out of hand, and I felt they were ready to strike and double cross me, we would run, plain and simple. I would take my Bella far the fuck away and we would reinvent ourselves and never look back. Fuck, I had enough money for three lifetimes, so we didn't have any obstacles.

All the thoughts about my friends betraying me and outing me to my angel before I had a chance to explain myself was fucking with my psyche, which literally made me see red. I had to get the fuck out of there and get to Bella before I drove over the town line and offed some motherfucker who had the misfortune of crossing paths with me. Killing used to bring me some sort of balance and peace, but I didn't need that now. Bella would make all my pain go away; she could calm my untamed soul by her mere touch. There was that word again . . . _soul_. Maybe I didn't have one; maybe Bella was just kind enough to share hers with me.

Fuck, I ached for her right now; I even felt that shit in the pit of my stomach so much so that I began to sweat. I loathed and reveled in the feel of it at the same damn time. I was one fucked up individual, but soon I would be straightened out . . . Bella would see to that.

_God, being in love made me such a pussy . . . a paranoid pussy. Man the fuck up, Cullen!_ I chided myself as I rose from my desk and stretched. I decided to leave my phone off when I locked up the funeral home for the night and made my way to the _Olympic Suites Inn._ Alice had sent me a text with her room number earlier in the day, so I had no problem in locating Bella.

I gave three soft knocks on the door in an attempt to not sound too forceful. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her, since she was afraid someone would find out about her involvement with Lauren's death. She fumbled with the door locks and I knew in that second that I couldn't wait to see her beautiful face and those big brown wondering eyes. Carlisle's words flashed in my mind and he was right—you had to fight for love. I literally ached to be near her again, to be inside her, which made me feel fucking giddy like a damn band geek about to get laid by the head cheerleader. What I wasn't prepared for was the sight that actually met me at the door. Bella looked like she was possessed, crazed even. Her face was paler than usual with blotches of red sporadically placed on her cheeks. The whites of her eyes had been replaced by a glassy sheen of the palest pink, a sign that she had been crying for a long time. Bella's hair was in some crazy haphazard ponytail, wisps of hair caught by the tears that still ran down her face.

_What the hell happened to her?_

She was wearing what looked to be one of my white button down shirts and nothing else but a pair of panties . . . I thought. She'd never looked sexier wearing my clothing, and even though she was crying, heaving sobs and all, I still wanted to pick her up and nail her against the hotel room door. My dick started to agree with me and he woke up to stretch a little.

_Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? Your girlfriend is crying, Cullen, and all you can think about is driving your dick deep inside her and hearing her screaming out your name over and over . . . okay, that's not helping._

I shook off my sexy thoughts of Bella and decided to let my brain do the talking.

"What's the matter, angel?" I asked with concern as she stepped back to let me through. I thought I was going to fucking sob myself at her state. There was no way I couldn't touch her, so I reached out to gently push the stray hairs from her face and kicked the door behind me once I was inside.

"Oh, Edward!" Bella cried. She lunged forward, jumped up, and wrapped her arms and legs around me. She buried her face in my neck and I could instantly feel her tears on my skin. I gently moved us toward the bed and sat with her wrapped around me. I rocked her and rubbed her back soothingly. She didn't stop crying, and to be honest, it made me nervous.

_Did she tell someone about Lauren? About me actually finishing the job? Had Alice told her something that scared her?_

"Sweetheart, you have to tell me what happened, otherwise I won't be able to fix it," I said softly.

She had a fucking vice grip hold on me, and I wasn't about to peel her off, so I left her on my lap, straddling me. She was way too upset and in such a fragile state that my dick didn't dare try to salute her pussy, which was inches from him. The heat made him dangerously close to making him swell with delight.

_Blood, back to brain_!

Bella's head shot up and she gazed into my eyes and shook her head. "I'm trapped . . . utterly fucked and trapped. What am I going to do?"

"Why are you trapped? What are you going to do about what, sweetheart?"

"Maybe I'll run away so he can never find me." She had a frantic look in her eyes. "I'll have to leave you behind, too. Oh my god, that thought makes me fucking sick, but I don't know what else to do!" she cried and buried her head in the crook of my neck again. "I can't leave you, I just can't." Her head rose from my neck so she met my eyes again. "But I know I _have_ to." Her lip quivered with that last statement. My heart clenched at the thought of never seeing Bella again or her leaving me for some unforeseen reason. She was out of her fucking mind if she thought she could ever get rid of me or _leave_ me. Plus, her words had spooked the shit right out of me.

"He's going to kill me," she barely whispered.

My body went stiff, not sure if I'd heard her clearly. By the look in her eye, I did. _Motherfucker!_ Did she find out about Mike's plan? Had Jake gone behind my back this afternoon to confront her?

"What are you talking about, Bella? Who is going to kill you?" I asked tentatively and grabbed hold of her face. I may have been a bit rough, but I needed to know what was going on.

"Mike. H-he's going to k-kill me!" she whimpered, her eyes wide like a crazed lunatic.

_That fucking cock sucker! He went to see her today to try and threaten my Bella? Oh, hell no!_

"Baby, listen to me, okay?" I started with my hands still grasping her face. "Tell me what Mike said to you and how this all started."

"I was in my office, between patients, writing some notes in a couple of files when I heard the front desk receptionist yell that he wasn't allowed to go into my office right now. He wasn't taking no for an answer and barged into my office." She bit her lip hard and I automatically pulled her lip from between her teeth. "He locked the door, Edward. Oh god," she cried. I was going to kill that motherfucker. "I was immediately frightened. His face . . . he was _so_ _angry_," she whispered, scared.

I could feel my blood pump roughly through my veins. My head was already pounding which caused a loud ringing in my ear. I wanted Mike dead . . . now! I couldn't ever remember wanting vengeance this badly before.

Bella cleared her throat, her tears drying up, as she continued. "Mike threatened that if I divorced him that he was going to kill my father." I immediately saw red. I would bet a million dollars that Jacob had passed along my words of advice. Maybe he didn't understand what "make it better" meant. "He said he wouldn't rest until he was dead by his hands and that he hoped to torture him a little just for fun. He told me I was his forever and that we made vows to stay together and that I better be a good little wife and turn the other cheek while he continued to fuck Lauren on the side."

"Jesus, Bella, I'm so sorry." He is one dead fucker, though I couldn't tell Bella that. Instead, I said, "He's an asshole, baby, and he just wants your money." _Fuck! My no-filter of a mouth strikes again_.

"What money? Sure, I make more than him, but I am by no means a six figure salary girl, Edward. I mean, I make a decent amount, but I'm not a millionaire."

_But your life is worth millions_, I thought cryptically and immediately hated myself for even thinking that I once believed that this creature sitting on me should be dead so I could make a fast buck.

"H-he also accused me of confronting Lauren because he said he's been trying to call her and she's not answering, and that he went over to her house and it was all locked up, and she hasn't been home. H-he told me that 'I will kill you myself' if I had anything to do with Lauren going away and leaving him. I told him that I had no clue what he was talking about, like we had discussed, but he was like a madman, Edward. I doubt he was even listening to me," she stammered and began to cry again. She bowed her head and spoke so softly.

"Then, he started to say that I was never a good wife to him, that I was 'a lousy lay that never serviced him properly.' "

_Serviced him? Oh, hell no. Mike did not make Bella feel like a whore, did he?_ I was going to chop off his dick and blend it up and make him fucking drink it. How's that for fucking service? Bella saw that my face had tensed up and she began to smooth the lines of my forehead with her fingertips.

"It's okay, Edward, I'm fine." She half-smiled, just a small twitch of her lips. "I'm fine now that I am with you and that you are touching me and not him."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Bella? Did he . . . _did_ _he fucking touch you in a way that was inappropriate_?" I was going to fuck Mike's miserable world up. "Please tell me, baby. It's killing me to see you so distraught like this and my mind has an imagination of its own. I'll love you no matter what, just please let me in," I pleaded because I desperately needed to know what that douche bag did.

"Um, he grabbed my arms and shook me . . . _hard_. Then he dragged me over to my couch and threw me on there and proceeded to jump on top of me and demanded that I show him that I could be a proper wife to him. H-he tore at my shirt and ripped the buttons off to expose my bra. Before he could do anything, I snapped and kneed him in the groin." A flash of horror spread through her eyes—and satisfaction at what she did. Her hands touched my cheeks. "Only you can touch me, not him," she whispered. "Anyway, he bellowed in pain and rolled off me onto the floor. I got up quickly, and kicked him in his kidneys. When he got up, he yelled that this wasn't over between us and that he'd be keeping an eye on me and what I was doing."

God, I hope he pisses blood.

I didn't even know what to say, and it was a god damned good thing that Bella was with me right then, or else I would probably be off to do one very sloppy kill and blow my cover. I needed to rein my anger in so I could process everything that she just told me. I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Mike just attempted to rape his own wife. What kind of man does that to any woman, wife or not? I may be a killer, but I would never think of harming any woman like that . . . ever.

"So, I'm still a good girl, Edward. I swear I didn't do anything with him. I'm still . . . whole. I-I tried to call you, but your phone went straight to voicemail. So I came here, hoping that Mike wouldn't follow me. I'm scared," she rambled, the fear on her face evident. _Did she think I was mad at her?_

"Shh, baby, it's okay. It wouldn't matter what he did, I would still be here. You don't blame the victim." My teeth gritted in anger and it was an effort to pull them apart to speak. "I'm so proud of you for sticking up to that prick, sweetheart. You've got one thing right—you are a good girl . . . _my_ girl. And that means no one but me is allowed to touch you." I leaned in and brushed my lips against different parts of her face.

"God, I am so fucking sorry that I turned my phone off. I'll never do that again, okay? You're with me and you're safe. I'm not going to let you run away from me, Bella. _I love you_. You are my life now." And I was going to fight to keep it that way.

"Edward," she breathed and made me melt with her dark chocolate eyes. "I love you so fucking much it hurts. I physically ache all over when we're apart and I can't stand it." Bella mimicked my movements from before and placed wet, soft kisses all over; on my eyes, my forehead, my cheeks, and she finished at my neck. If she didn't stop, I wouldn't be responsible for my actions, and I would be very rough about it. So, I pulled away and signaled I was ready to move. I didn't want that right then because Bella seemed so fragile, so vulnerable, and it didn't feel right to plow right into her at the moment. I wanted to be there for her on an emotional level, something I had never done for a woman, but that could have been because I had never been in love.

Picking Bella up, I stood to place her on one of the many pillows on the bed. I picked up her feet as I pulled down the sheets and comforter so I could tuck her in. I shed all my clothes except for my boxers and slid in next to her. I pulled my angel flush against my body with her back facing me and brushed her hair off to the side, which allowed me access to her soft, creamy neck. I ghosted my lips over one of her sweet spots below her ear. She sighed contently as her breathing evened out. I hoped that she wouldn't have a restless sleep, but if she did, I was here to take away as much fear, sadness, and pain that she might feel.

"Sleep now, sweetheart. I'm here and I love you," I reassured. "No one can hurt you—not now, not ever."

She let out a shaky breath and snuggled in closer to me. I never wanted her warmth to leave me again. She fit so perfectly in my arms, cuddled up with my body, and I was sure that I had been made just for her—there was no other explanation for it.

Bella's breathing grew deep and steady; all of the tension eased from her shoulders and I was sure she was asleep. My lips brushed her neck and she mumbled in her sleep something incoherent.

Once I knew Bella was asleep, I focused my thoughts on that motherfucker who was about to have a date with the angel of death. I'd be his personal reaper. My mind was made up and I knew this was something I was going to have to do solo. The realization that I wouldn't have the support of Emmett, Alice, and Jake because they couldn't know about what I was planning, spurred me on even more. My outrage forced me to dig into the darkest realms of my sadistic mind to think of some real crazy fucked up shit I could do to Mike.

I fully intended to try to lead a nice, semi-normal life with Bella—with absolutely no secrets between us. But for now, I had to remain quiet for a little longer . . . just until that fucker paid for mentally and physically attacking my girl. Yes, I would try to make Mike Newton my final kill, and I would make it fucking memorable—epic, even. I was going to search through my old school roots and think of the craziest shit I could do to terrorize and torture that fuck face like I used to do on my targets back in the day. Then, that motherfucker is going to die a slow, and very painful, death.

I smiled inwardly as my wicked plan played out like a sweet symphony in my head.

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_They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.__  
_-William Shakespeare

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**A/N:** Sorry for the wait—we are all supper busy with real life. Odd concept, isn't it?

Thank you **Lisa** for your beta skillz.

If you **review**, we will send you a preview, just like always.

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	14. 13 Dark Abyss

**Wicked Angel**

**13. Dark Abyss**

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_Leading them to their Graves_  
_Helping them to their deaths_  
_Leading them to dark abyss_

—Shattered by Silence

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My mind was in overdrive as I held Bella in my arms. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I watched her chest rise and fall peacefully. Her eyelids started to flutter and I hoped she wasn't having a nightmare. I rested my cheek in my palm as I went over every detail on her flawless face; the cracks in her lower lip from constantly bringing it between her teeth, the oval shape of her face, and long dark lashes. I could watch her sleep forever. I was so fucking scared she would have a nervous breakdown over everything that had happened. I didn't watch her sleep because I couldn't tear my eyes from her; I watched her sleep because I was petrified that her subconscious would take over and cause her to flip the fuck out.

There was no fucking way in hell I wouldn't be there for her again. Thoughts of torturing Mike played in my head, which also kept me from finding sleep. My favorite so far . . . flaying. The Greek God Aloues had his wife flayed for betraying him . . . the exact crime Mike was guilty of. All it took for me to want to cut the edges of Mike's mouth to his ears was the thought of him forcing himself on Bella. Fucker thought he was tough, cool, smug even . . . I'd give him the Glasgow smile, I could remind him how fucking smug he was.

Mike was a rat. I wondered if I could get a few, starve them for a few days and let them loose on Mike? Edgar Allan Poe was a sick fucker, and I liked the idea of Mike being eaten alive by rats, of course the rats could start after I flayed him.

Sawing was always an option as well. I would love to carry it out like they did in medieval times. The accused would be hung upside down and sawing would begin at the rectum. Since the person was hanging upside down, the brain continued to receive blood which kept them conscious for well over half of the sawing.

I had to plan the torture perfectly. I didn't want him to pass out and miss any of the fun. I would have to be careful, and make sure he didn't lose too much blood before I was ready for him to take his last breath.

After my mind went over dozens of torture methods it jumped to the reaction all of this would get from Jake, Alice, and Emmett. I had a good feeling Alice and Emmett would understand, but Jake was different story entirely. The only thing that drove him was the dollar sign in his eyes.

Sooner than I expected the sun peeked through the small opening between the heavy curtains. I sat up in bed and pulled back on my jeans before I sat back down on the edge of the bed. I rubbed my face feeling the rough stubble along my jaw. The weight in the bed shifted as Bella slowly crept up behind me and placed her chin on my shoulder.

"How did you sleep?" I asked her, as her arms wrapped around my waist. Her fingers slowly tickled my abdomen and moved along my happy trail.

"Better then I should have, and you?"

I looked back at her and smiled. "Fine," I lied. I didn't want her to think I was worried, and I was in no way about to tell her about the murderous thoughts that kept me awake all night.

I pulled her into my side and lay back on the bed. Her head rested in the crook of my neck as I stroked her smooth hair. She continued to let her fingers dance along my chest while she swirled her fingers around my nipples. She would alternate nimbly scratching and delicately tickling my chest. It felt so fucking good to have my girl's fingers on me. I almost forgot about flaying Mike. Almost.

"Edward?" Bella asked, her voice quivering.

"What, baby?" I whispered and tilted her chin up so I could look in her eyes. They welled up with tears that threatened to spill over.

"I'm scared," she choked out and released the tears. I brushed my thumb over each eye and placed a kiss on the top of her head. It was hard, but I managed to suppress the need to cry right along with her. Not because I was scared, but because I couldn't imagine what she was going through.

"Don't be scared, I am going to take care of you. I know this whole situation is fucked up, and scary, but can you tell me what has you so worried? I want to put you at ease." Or murder someone so she wouldn't have to be frightened anymore.

I heard her swallow back thickly and her bottom lip went instinctively into her mouth. I had the biggest urge to remove it, but thought otherwise; she could use all the comfort she could get. And if that meant chewing a hole through her lip, so be it.

"Mike," she admitted. "I am afraid of what he will do to me . . . or worse, to my dad. I-I don't know what he is cap-capable of," she stuttered through more tears. I knew exactly what fear sounded like and Bella was terrified.

"Hey, I won't let him hurt you," I told her sternly. I wanted to tell her it was only a matter of time before I put him six feet under.

"How though, Edward?" Bella asked, her voice cracking.

I exhaled a deep breath before I answered her question. "I am going to protect you by being by your side every minute I can be," I told her.

"And the ones that you can't be? Like when I was at work yesterday."

I pushed back the anger I felt over that entire situation. I cringed for the hundredth time in the past eight hours over that. It only took a second to remember my plans to torture him, making the anger dissipate. I let a small smile creep on my face. "Can you shoot a gun?" I asked her.

"Edward, my father is the Chief of Police, of course I know how to shoot a gun." She sounded smug. _That's my girl!_

"Then I will give you a gun, for self defense. And don't worry about your father. That asshole doesn't stand a chance against Charlie. I've worked with your father for over a year now, Bella, he can hold his own."

"I don't know about the gun Edward . . . I don't know that I could pull the trigger. It seems a bit excessive." It took everything in me not to raise my eyebrows at her in surprise. I saw the bloody mess that was Lauren. If Mike tried to hurt her, I knew she could pull that trigger. And that was the first time I felt like we were alike in some small way.

"Baby, it's just for protection—when I can't be with you. As much as I would like nothing more than to never have to leave your side, I have to. How about some pepper spray, and the gun . . . that way you can use the pepper spray if you don't feel threatened enough to shoot. But trust me, if you do feel that threatened you will be able to shoot."

Bella nodded against my chest. "Okay . . . I just wish it was him instead of Lauren that was dead. Oh my God!" Bella gasped covering her mouth. "I can't believe I just said that!"

"Sweetheart, stop being so hard on yourself," I soothed and pulled her closer to me. "People say things that are out of character when such strong emotions are involved. It's okay to be angry, to want to hurt someone who hurt you. You aren't a bad person because of that; few people can be like Gandhi, or Jesus," I told her.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind," Bella whispered into my chest. "I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in Heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that?" Bella recited the words hushed and rushed. "I was brought up to live like that Edward . . . taught those values, and told to memorize Bible verses in Sunday school . . . I don't know when I started wishing people were dead."

"I'm not going to listen to you talk about yourself like you are a horrible person, Bella. You are one of very few people I have ever come across that honestly, and truly, sees the best in everyone—even when it's hard to find. You give everyone a chance—your glass is always half full when you look at others . . . why is it half empty when you look at yourself? Why can't you see how amazing you are?" I asked. I didn't expect her to answer me. I rolled on top of her, distributing my weight evenly across her. "I love you," I whispered against her lips before I kissed her.

Bella immediately opened her mouth and swept her tongue against mine. Her leg wrapped around my waist and I pulled her closer to me to deepen the kiss. She rolled over and straddled me. I was speechless as I watched her on top of me. She released her long hair from her messy pony tail as I brought her index finger into my mouth, sucked on it, and swirled my tongue around it. She pulled it out and began to unbutton the white shirt, gradually. "Let me," I said and moved her hand away.

With deliberate slowness, I carefully unfastened each of the buttons and took my time to savor every inch of her soft chest as it was slowly revealed. Her shirt fell open to slightly reveal only a sliver of skin in the center of her chest. I ran my hands up her stomach and then I pushed the shirt off her shoulders which left her in only crimson boyshorts. It was one of the hottest things I had ever seen on a woman. And I had a feeling it wasn't about the panties, it was just that they were on Bella.

I cupped both of her breasts and squeezed her nipples between my index finger and thumb. Bella took in a deep breath and arched her back. I grabbed her hips and pulled her down so I could kiss her lips. I never felt the need to kiss anyone the way I ached to kiss Bella. It was almost like breathing, except my need for her was beginning to outweigh my natural and necessary functions.

Bella's hair fell down, the sweet scent of vanilla overtook my memories. The first time I talked to her and smelled her scent flooded over me in that moment. Every meeting, touch, kiss, happy and sad moments—the frantic moments played in my mind like movie reel. With Bella, I had no insignificant moments—every second changed me. Everything I shared with her was beyond significant. Maybe there wasn't even a word for it.

Her hair draped over my face like a veil as she moved her lips down my chin, my jaw, and my neck. Her tongue darted out once and she licked my chest. She laid her tongue flat against me—warm, wet, and seductive—and moved it slowly down the center of my abdomen as she followed my happy trail to the top button on my jeans. Her lithe fingers slipped under my jeans and she yanked me toward her quickly with a small smirk on her face. I just watched her in utter fascination. Then her fingers walked across my pelvic bone and to my zipper. She slowly—agonizingly slow—unbuttoned my jeans. The way she did it, with her eyes focused on mine with a seductive gleam . . . god it was fucking torture and I wanted her to hurry and keep going at her slow pace all at the same damn time. Her fingers very lightly ghosted across my cock and I closed my eyes in anticipation to her releasing my entrapped dick.

She didn't just use her fingers once she had me in her grip. The wetness of her tongue moved up my cock gradually until she reached the tip and swirled the head before she took me into her mouth. I involuntarily moaned at the sensation.

_Fucking Heaven_.

Four loud bangs followed by muffled yelling caused Bella to quickly remove her mouth from my cock.

"BELLA!" Mike yelled from outside as he continued to bang on the door. The banging caused the window next to the door to rattle and shake. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE BELLA! OPEN UP!"

_Fucking Hell._

I rushed out of bed and left Bella visibly shaken as I grabbed the white terry robe out of the bathroom in a matter of seconds.

"Bella, put this on," I instructed her while trying to be as calm as possible. I grabbed her hand and pulled her off the bed and onto her feet which caused her to stumble into my chest as I tried to get her out of her daze. I helped her slip on the robe and tied it in the front as I started to tell her how to handle Mike. I crouched down on my knees slightly so my eyes were level with hers as I spoke. "Baby . . . I am going to go into the bathroom. You are going to answer the door and say whatever he wants to hear. You need to diffuse the situation, even if that isn't how we want to handle it. All he is going to do is get angrier," I told her. I couldn't risk him finding me here, but if he laid a hand on Bella I would be forced to do something in the heat of the moment. I couldn't afford any mistakes, not since I had Bella to live for.

_I have something to live for . . ._ I shook my head in an attempt to dump the fleeting thought.

"Tell him you just need some time . . . a few days, then you will be home. It should get him to back off, give us some time to figure out a way to handle it, do you understand? Can you do that?" In a few days time, Mike would be disfigured beyond recognition. I wouldn't even leave his teeth for dental records.

Bella nodded yes frantically as Mike pounded on the door more.

"I will be right here if anything happens, I won't let him hurt you, but I don't think it's best for you if he finds out about us before you file for divorce, okay?" I kissed her head as she nodded before I went into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Mike, calm down or I am not opening the door," I heard Bella yell him shakily.

There was silence on the outside. I heard the clicking of the lock and the creaking of the door followed by heavy footsteps.

"Bella listen . . . I really screwed up. I want you to come home." Ah, Jake must have talked to him again.

"I need some time . . . a few days. I just need some space. Can you just give me that? Please, Mike." I wanted to gag at how nice she had to be to appease that cocksucker.

"Then you will come back to me?" he asked.

"Yes, Michael. Then I will come home." My fists clenched at my sides; I hated being unable to do help. It was paralyzing. The fact that she was lying was the only thing that kept me from punching the wall. I held back my anger as they exchanged awkward goodbyes. As soon as the trash was out, I rushed out of the bathroom and to my angel and held her tight.

It was a small set back in our almost perfect morning. Bella didn't want to go to work, but I reminded her how important it was to keep up the appearance that everything was okay. It would be . . . after I took care of some business.

After a very long shower, Bella came out with wet tangled curls. She was running a bit late for work so there was no time for seductive Bella to come back out.

I didn't know why I was surprised to find Alice outside the hotel door as Bella was leaving. I felt awful for not providing her with a gun before she left, but I didn't go without mine and I knew after her discussion with Mike she would be safe for the day. Alice said hello and goodbye to Bella. Bella gave her a small smile in acknowledgement, but I could tell Bella was wary about everything Alice knew—even if she hadn't voiced it. I also knew Alice was just trying to appease her by being overly nice. Or she was being tricky-pixie again.

"Alice," I said and invited her in the room.

I shut the door behind her and crossed my arms, not fully prepared for whatever it was she wanted to say to me, but I had to act like whatever it was wouldn't faze me.

"Jake isn't going to agree to drop this job," she told me. "It's going to spark a war. He isn't going to let go of a job that will pay that much money, Edward."

"What do you suggest, Alice? I don't care what it takes to make this go away; I just want to know who is on my side at the end of the day," I said tersely.

"Edward," Alice replied, just as snappy, "I owe Jake my life. If it wasn't for him his father would have killed me! I have seen this play out a dozen different ways and none of them are happily-ever-afters. They are messy and people I love end up dead."

"TELL ME THEN ALICE!" I yelled at her, desperate to figure out how to handle Jake. I had no problem killing him if it meant saving Bella.

"Would you kill me that easily, Edward?" Alice spit at me.

I pulled at my hair as I paced in front of her. "Fuck!"

"You want to know who is on your side, Edward?" Alice placed a hand on her hip and pointed at me with her other hand, stabbing me in the chest with her forefinger. "_You_! You are on your side. At the end of the day Bella means more to you than anybody else and I am happy for you. Really, I am. Because at the end of my day . . . I feel the same way about Jasper. But you can't ask me to pick sides. When it comes to Jake though . . . what do you think matters the most to him at the end of his day?"

I smiled slyly as the realization dawned on me. Money talks and bullshit walks with Jake. "Money," I smirked. "I'll pay Jake Bella's bounty to keep her alive."

"I don't know if it is that easy, Edward. Jake isn't going to trust you. I don't know why I can't see how he will react. It's like something is blocking me. If Jake doesn't trust you, it still means war. I don't think any of us are walking away from this unscathed."

"We will just leave, disappear. I don't know, Alice!" I said in exasperation and sat on the edge of the bed. I placed my head in my hands and took a few calming breathes. It was so foreign for me to feel panic, but when I thought about something happening to Bella I panicked. Which made it even weirder because I wanted to take her life before; not only did I want to protect someone—I wanted to keep someone alive who I had previously wanted dead. I probably still would want to if she wasn't planning on leaving Mike . . . just to spare her from hurting over that fucking jackass.

"I think the best thing to do is to offer him the money. Of course, killing Mike will be a must, he knows entirely too much. Let me handle him, though. Maybe if I am in the moment with him my vision will become clearer; I hope to be able to gauge how he will react," Alice said and perched next to me. She moved her hand up and down my back in an attempt to comfort me.

"I will handle it, Alice. It's my problem. You don't want to pick sides. I'm not going to make you! Be Switzerland!" I told her. In essence, letting her know if Jake didn't agree, I would be ready to take him out, and leave this hell on earth I had created for myself to live in.

"Then I hope for all our sakes he agrees," Alice conceded.

_How the fuck am I going to approach Jake with this?_ I needed to be prepared, that was the one thing I was sure of.

_J, meet me tonight; need to talk about shit. _I texted him on my way back home.

I made my way upstairs and quickly grabbed a pair of black slacks, the first shirt I found—which happened to be a grey v-neck—and threw on my black suit jacket. I made a phone call to my off-shore account to have them wire two million dollars to the account I had in Seattle. Mike was only paying one million for Bella's life; I was going to make sure this was an offer Jake couldn't refuse. Jake loved money, but part of him also loved the kill. We'd see which part won out.

I couldn't just show up with a suitcase full of money, either . . . or maybe I could. There was chance Jake would tell me to go fuck myself and start a fight that needed to be avoided at all costs if possible. If that meant shooting him point blank in the woods, then that was what I would have to do. Bella's life—her safety—was the most important thing . . . it was the _only _thing.

I pulled my Smith and Wesson forty-four revolver from my nightstand. I swung the chamber open to make sure all six rounds were still inside, even though I knew one bullet would do the job if need be. Once I saw the gold bullets in the chamber, I clicked it closed with a swift jolt of my wrist. I loved that gun; nickel finish, black handle, and ten inch barrel. It was a work of art.

I made my way downstairs, taking two steps at a time, as I lifted my jacket in the back to tuck the gun under my waistband. I didn't want to have to go to Seattle. I was afraid Bella might need me and I wouldn't be close enough to get to her. Honestly, I wanted to go pick her up and bring her with me. I knew that was impossible, though. Instead, Alice called briefly to let me know she hadn't foreseen anything happening in my absence, and if so, I could count on her and Emmett.

There was an inordinate amount of fuckery involved when you withdrew such large sums of cash, especially out of my bank. Apparently, they had to call other branches to come up with the two million in cash. Makes you wonder about your checking account. Plus, I had to listen to this bullshit about the withdrawal being reported to the IRS. I would make sure to pay off my mortgage and buy a few cars. A Ferrari Enzo was easily a million. Plus, Bella could use a car. Maybe the Mercedes SLR McLaren. I could easily make those purchases with my off shores account and the IRS would be none the wiser that I didn't use this cash to purchase the vehicles. I always wanted a few nice cars; it was just a bit flashy for my lifestyle. I knew if I made those purchases it would draw attention to me. Maybe I would just buy a vacation home, or, shit, buy an island. I could call it Isle Isabella. No one in Forks would ever have to know I bought it, only the IRS.

I walked into the bank confidently and smiled at all the employees. The manger I always dealt with immediately stood from his chair to welcome me and ushered me into his office.

"Mr. Cullen," he greeted me and motioned for me to sit down.

I unopened my suit jacket and causally took a seat and crossed my legs in the uncomfortable chair. "Hello, Mr. Jenks." I smiled. He stood behind his desk and placed two briefcases on his desk and opened them to expose the crisp the money.

"We have counted it several times, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Jenks assured me.

"I know how much trouble you went through to make sure this transaction could take place today, I am very grateful," I told him while I inspected a few bundles of money.

"Of course, you are one of our best clients. We appreciate your patronage. Now, there is just some paperwork to get out of the way for the IRS; it should only take a moment."

"Of course." I continued to smile. I closed the brief cases and took the pen Mr. Jenks offered in order to make the withdrawal. It wasn't the money that gave me my insane grin, it was thinking about saving Bella's life. No more worries.

"You are purchasing a property, Mr. Cullen, is that correct?"

"It is," I said. The less I could get away with saying, the better. I didn't even bother to look up as I signed my name on the dotted line. "Do you need me to do anything else? Or am I free to go?" I asked and handed him back his ball point pen.

"Do you need someone to escort you to your car with those?" he asked.

"I can take care of myself," I answered truthfully. I smirked and picked up the briefcases. I nodded to him my thanks as he held the door to his office and then I exited the bank just as I entered—except now I had an out.

I contemplated the entire ride back to Forks how exactly I would word things to Jake. I needed to continue to hold his trust. It was going to be tricky as shit. I didn't have much time to think when my phone started flashing Bella's name. I answered it before it could ring a second time.

"Bella, is everything okay?" I asked. I never used to worry. I could feel the hair on my head literally turning grey with this shitty new emotion.

"I'm fine, Edward, I'm at the hotel, when will get her?" she asked. I could hear the anxiety seep through her voice and was upset I wasn't there because I wanted to be there ten minutes before she arrived, but I couldn't. I had to protect her; from Jake and Mike. I couldn't protect her from Mike though, not until I protected her from Jake. One danger at a time.

"I have some things I need to handle tonight. I will be there as soon as I am done, I promise. I should be there by eight at the latest," I told her. I hated to disappoint her. I knew she wanted me there with her as much as I wanted to be there with her.

"I, ah . . . I don't know if I can hold it together that long," she choked out. My hand went automatically to my hair as I began pulling in stress. She didn't need to stay there all alone with just her thoughts of death and murder.

"Baby, you don't have to stay there, isn't your dad home? Maybe you can go eat dinner with him and then meet me at the hotel at eight. Or call Jasper or Rose," I suggested. I knew she would be safe with Charlie, just as I knew Jasper and Rose would be safest with Emmett and Alice.

"I think they are all at the Volturi's Nest . . . I guess I could go there and hang out," Bella sniffled. Shit, I really didn't want her going to that dive—but she would be okay in public.

"I left money in the Bible on the nightstand along with some pepper spray. Go there, eat, have fun. Call a cab, if Mike decides to check up on you I want him to see your car at the hotel. I will meet you there at eight and drive you back to the hotel. I love you," I told her clearly, deliberately.

"I love you," she said. I couldn't help but smile. I could no longer hear the anxiety in her voice, only happiness. It felt amazing to be able to comfort her with three simple words.

Bella and I texted each other during my whole drive back to Forks. She explained how bored she was in the bar without me, but that Jasper was working and keeping her company . . . well, whenever he wasn't sneaking Alice-ass-grabs. When I finally pulled up to Jake's, I was positive that she was happy, safe, and thoroughly enjoying herself. She even texted me with a sweet "hearts" and a picture of her drink, which she described as a strange lime and coke concoction that Jasper promised was heaven. Actually, her mood was so happy that I still grinned like an idiot when I knocked on Jacob's front door, the two briefcases at my feet.

He answered the door with his pants unbuttoned and his button-down shirt-flap open. "Interrupting?" I asked playfully.

He shot me a sly smile and yelled something behind him and suddenly the door swung fully open. A girl ran out of the house with her hair in a mess and her pants missing. Well . . . maybe he'd be in a good mood.

Jacob gestured for me to enter and I leaned down to pick up the briefcases. When I stood straight, I received a "what the fuck is that" look and answered immediately. Neither of us liked to beat around the bush.

"You'll find out what is in these two beauties in a minute," I replied wryly. "We have some business to attend to, so put some goddamned clothes on, will ya?"

The man of few words shrugged and headed to his bedroom. He came out a minute later in a t-shirt and shorts. "I hope there is cash in there." Jacob pointed toward the obvious cash-carrying briefcases.

"Indeed, my dear Jacob. A pretty penny—or should I say a crisp Benjamin—too." I caressed the cases lovingly and let the bait sit there.

If you didn't know Jacob, you would think he was blind the way he was staring. His eyes never left the briefcases, even though he talked directly to me. I could have done a jazz number, put a tutu on, colored my hair pink, stripped naked, stroked myself, and Jake wouldn't have tore his eyes away from the prize before him. He reached out to touch and I slapped his hand away.

"No, fucker," I scolded. "Hear me out. You see, this money is _mine_. I've saved it up from years of murder-for-hire jobs."

Jacob's head snapped in my direction. Finally, a response! "What? Well . . . I know you don't want to hire me to kill someone because you can do that shit on your own. So, did you bring this here to taunt me with your pretty money?" Jacob barked.

"No, numb-nuts! I brought it here for you."

Again, his hand outstretched and I smacked him away. "Dammit, Edward. What fucking game are you playing?!"

"It's not a fucking game! If you would just keep your greedy paws off the dinero for two point five seconds you might hear what I have to say; what the stipulations are for me giving you this large sum of cash." Jesus, he was a covetous bastard.

"Okay," Jacob said slowly. "So, how much is this 'large sum of cash' and what do you want in return?"

We stayed standing in his kitchen/living room area. "It's two million."

Silence. Jacob's hand ran through his hair restlessly. "Fuck." His jaw moved up and down, as if he was unsure how to continue his thoughts through his vocal chords. "Jesus fucking Christ, Edward. Why the fuck are you carrying around two million dollars?"

"Because I need you to do me a favor and I know that you won't say no if you have . . . incentive," I replied grimly.

"Must be a big fucking favor, Edward. Let's hear it!" Jacob wasn't angry, or worried . . . he was eager. Like the monster under the bridge realizing a homeless person was underneath and soon going to be lunch . . . or dinner.

"I'm going to kill Newton," I said through gritted teeth. The name brought out of me something horrible and scary. The taste of death was on my tongue it was so strong.

"Shit, Edward. You were going to kill her in the first place and receive a hell of a settlement for it. He was going to offer half a million of the insurance claim." He paused and studied my face. "Fuck," he said again and his hand went to his hair which was standing on end. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, Edward. Are you telling me that you are going to . . . kill Mike?"

"Yes," I said and the taste of his death was so close . . . I could almost smell it. "But that isn't why I've brought you two million, Jacob. It's to keep Bella safe. No one tries to harm her in any way." I popped open one of the briefcases and ran my fingers along the money. "And if anyone does"—I touched the gun at my waist—"they will fucking die a horrible, painful death." What I left out was the fact that Mike Newton would be my last kill, unless the occasion arose—but I was pretty sure I had beat the possibility down just by the smell of cash wafting under Jacob's nose. He was easy prey.

He nodded his head over, and over, and over again, like he couldn't form the word no. He finally spit out, "Fine with me, but I need to talk to Alice and Emmett about this shit, too." It was then that I saw dollar signs glaring back at me from Jacob's eyes and knew that he would leave the cash part out so he could keep it all.

"Of course," I replied angrily, "I already told Alice about my plan to come here tonight . . . well, she saw it, actually."

For a split second I saw the "Fuck Me" look in his eyes before he went to his blank-cold stare he used for outsiders.

"I'm going to leave a million here with you tonight, Jacob. You can count it, ponder . . . whatever the fuck it is you need to do. I expect an answer tomorrow. Until then, the hit on Bella is off. Actually, it will never be on again because I will kill anyone who tries to off her," I said as I walked toward his door and opened it.

"God, Edward, you've got it bad."

I nodded while I faced the dark abyss of the night. "I do—but why do you care? You'll be rich."

He thought about it for a second. "You're right."

"I know," I said and closed the door behind me.

I was in such a good fucking mood as I drove toward the Volturi's Nest that I was sure nothing could ever spoil my mood. The rumble of my engine as my truck flew down the road, the ever growing darkness, the thought of Bella in my bed every fucking night almost made me groan aloud. Fuck. I pushed the gas pedal down harder as I reached a few blocks away from the Volturi Nest . . . and what I saw almost made me pull me gun out and shoot right then.

In a little silver car, lit by streetlamps, I saw Jasper driving, Bella in the passenger seat, and Mike-fucking-Newton in the back.

The irony was not lost on me. It was just like a fucking urban legend. The murderer in the back of the car. Fuck! I immediately grabbed my phone and looked for texts to indicate that Mike had shown up at the bar. What I got instead was nothing but sweet, happy, loving messages from Bella. The final one only minutes before said she was going back to the hotel to "prepare" herself for me and Jasper was taking her back.

My dick jumped for a second reading that, but as I looked at them pass by when their light turned green, it deflated and I instantly became murderous. It was obvious that Jasper and Bella were oblivious to Mike in the rear as they smiled jovially to each other, Bella even bending over in laughter.

Fuck. Me.

I squealed tires, almost caused four wrecks, and sped down the road after them . . .

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_We come from a dark abyss, we end in a dark abyss, and we call the luminous interval life._ — Nikos Kazantzakis

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**(Please read!!) Epic long A/N:** Sorry for the lateness. We hope that everyone enjoyed the WA outtake of chapter 6 we posted on our profile. It is smuttastic. Anyway, we **LOVE**, _love, love, love_ our reviews, so please don't stop, but trying to reply to all of them has become overwhelming. Instead, we will be posting a preview on our FB account (check out our profile to get the link) and twilighted net forums (also on our profile).

Thank you Lisa, again, for your wonderful beta-ness. We heart you!

On another note, we will try to get the next chapter out sometime this weekend, maybe Monday. All of us have our own FFN accounts to keep up with, plus our very own lolafalana who edits every WA chapter and writes for DevilishPleasures published her first novel (_therefore the busy_). Check out her FFN account for details. Her book is available at many international stores for those not in the USA.

nikkijoy10 (on twitter), will be hosting a read along for WA on April 29th at 8pm EST! For details check out our profile.

We hope you review . . . we are dying to know what you think and you are probably dying to know what the fuck is going to happen next. ::evil laugh::

Oh, and did we mention for you to check out our profile for info? Hahah! We'll be posting a preview of the next chapter very soon after this is published on FFN. :)

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	15. 14 Torture

**Wicked Angel**

**14. Torture**

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_My body is cut and broken__  
__It's shattered and sore__  
__My body is cut wide open__  
__I can't stand anymore_

—The Cure

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**WARNING:** This chapter contains torture (see chapter title—duh) and is not for the faint of heart. You've been warned.

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As I barreled down the road, I finally caught up with Jasper's silver car. I could see their silhouettes as my headlights blared into his car. It was an attempt to light up the intruder in the back. They must have been in deep conversation or Jasper never checked his rear view mirror because they didn't act like they could see him. Bella had her arms lifted as she played with her hair and Jasper's right hand was moving animatedly like he was telling her a fascinating story. I decided then that I would call Bella's cell phone to try and warn her. When it started to ring her hands dropped and she turned in her seat to find her phone. That was when everything went downhill.

Bella stiffened and it killed me that I couldn't hear what was going on in the vehicle. Jasper's head jerked to the side to look behind him and the car lurched to the other lane. Then I saw the outline of the gun that was in Mike's hand. He put it to Jasper's head and then to Bella's. Jasper yanked the wheel again and when he went to correct again he over corrected. The car skidded sideways down the road, hit a car that was going the other direction, and then the silver car flipped over and over and over. I slammed on my brakes as I came to a halt behind them. In my shock and horror, I had dropped my phone and eerily, as I watched the car spin on its roof, Bella's cheerful voicemail came on.

I didn't even bother to turn it off as I tore my seatbelt off, practically threw the truck door of its hinges, and flew toward the wreckage. The air swam with smoke and awkward angled headlights, and smelt of burned rubber and gasoline fumes. Glass littered the ground along with parts of both cars that extended for over one hundred feet of total destruction. All I could think about was Bella. Was she all right? Was she conscious? Was Mike still alive? Would he hurt her before I got there? Was this my fault? It _was_ my fault. All my fault.

I slid to my knees on the passenger side. Bella's hair cascaded down and moved against the top of the car as wind blew through. She had so much glass in her hair, but I was so happy to see that she had worn her seatbelt and that she was still in the car that I nearly yanked her free. Controlling my need to hold her, I rubbed her forehead gently where blood trickled down and plopped sickeningly to the roof.

"Sweetheart? Bella?" I whispered in panic. She moaned in the shadows of the car. "How hurt are you?"

"My arm," she sobbed. Tears leaked out of her eyes and dripped from her forehead. My heart lurched and then began to pound in double time. "He was in the car, Edward."

"I know," I said anxiously. "I saw him and I went after you. I tried to call."

"I was going to answer," she cried and then her voice lowered. "He had a gun."

"He will never harm you. Not ever again. I promise." I'd start by breaking each of his fingers . . . and then I would peel his fingernails off.

Several cars had stopped around us as we took up both lanes on the road. Lights flooded in from all directions from headlights. There were about five people that crowded around the car that Jasper had hit. A few brave souls cautiously walked over to where I had kneeled.

"Sir?" a male voice said. I looked up to see a kid that looked no older than eighteen. "I have 911 on the phone. They should be here shortly. Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me," I snapped and held out my hand to speak to the operator. The kid hesitated for a second and I almost broke his wrist to get the phone from him.

"This is Edward Cullen, the medical examiner for Forks," I began and told her about Bella's and Jasper's conditions: alive but hurt. Mike was missing out of the backseat of the car._ Shit_! I hung up the phone without a second thought and dialed Emmett.

When he answered there was loud music in the background. "Hey, Bro. What's up?"

"Jasper and Bella had an accident. Mike was in the backseat and I think he is lying around here somewhere, dead. Get the van and bring it out here ASAP!"

"What?" he asked, flabbergasted.

"Just do it!" I snapped and hung up the phone. I handed it back to the young kid, and he ran off toward the ever growing crowd of bystanders and gawkers.

"Bella? How are you doing?" I asked and gently rubbed her shoulder. She had folded her arms and was holding her left arm gingerly.

"Hanging in there," she said softly and then choked on a tiny laugh. Jasper, next to her, coughed a laugh too.

"And you, Jasper?" I asked to be polite.

"Just take care of Bella," he breathed quietly.

He didn't need to worry about that—Bella was all I could think about. "Are there any body parts that are numb?"

"No," Bella mumbled. "I can wiggle my toes and everything. It's just my arm."

"Okay sweetheart. I need you to try and brace yourself as much as possible on the roof, I'll help. I'm going to unbuckle your seatbelt." I wiped some blood away from her face and, at the sight of it, I felt a pang of guilt. Instead of going to Seattle I should have stayed and taken care of Bella. I should have never suggested that she go out.

With a quick sweep of my hand, I cleared the roof of glass around Bella and she placed the palm of her good hand on the roof.

"Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," she whispered softly.

I pressed down on the buckle and she came free easily. I caught her and slowly pulled her out toward me. By that time lights began flashing in my eyes at the many ambulances, fire trucks, and police that had showed up at the scene. Paramedics rushed toward the first car because apparently they were injured worse. I didn't care. I wanted them to help Bella—now!

Bella's head rested on my shoulder like it belonged there and it did. "I'm going to take you over to the medics, okay?" I asked as I brushed some of the glass off her clothes. She nodded numbly as I braced myself and lifted her in my arms. She cuddled into my side as she held her injured arm which I finally was able to see clearly in the light. Her forearm had been cut from elbow to her wrist. It was deep and bleeding quite profusely. I could tell that she hadn't severed her main arterial vein which I was thankful for.

"Move your fingers," I commanded her as quietly as possible. She did but winced slightly. Well, it didn't seem broken so that was also good. If this was all she injured it would be a blessing.

Someone yelled from far-off that they found a body. A body—not a person. It was probably Mike. Medics ran toward the people that had shouted as I placed Bella on a stretcher that the paramedics pulled out for me. I spoke quickly with the two paramedics and told them that there was still another person in the car. One stayed with Bella as the other ran toward the flipped car with a firefighter in tow.

"I'll be right back, Bella. I think they found Mike."

She paled. "M-M-Mike?" she stuttered.

"_Shh_. He won't hurt you. I'm going to go over there now. You're safe." The paramedic gave me a funny look. "Mike's the body on the ground over there"—I stabbed my thumb over my shoulder angrily—"and he tried to kill Bella tonight. He pulled a gun in the car. I saw him do it; I was driving behind them."

The guy looked at me like I had grown a second head—an ugly one at that. I glared back. "That jackass pulled a gun, so don't give me that look," I snapped and marched toward Mike, not giving the guy another chance to say anything.

Mike really was in bad, bad shape. He was mangled and bleeding all over the road. The paramedics were trying to restart his heart. _Great_, I thought angrily. I wanted to take the paddles to him to torture him, yet here he was fighting for his life and it wasn't even me electrocuting him. I ached to yank those paddles out of the medics hand and put it to this head. His heart started again as heart beats barely made blimps on the tiny screen. I kneeled down to Mike as I tried to screw up my face to show concern.

"I'm the coroner. Let me check his pulse." I put my fingers to his neck and counted while I looked at my watch. There was a very, very faint pulse. Almost non-existent. I held out my hand. "Can I borrow your stethoscope?"

She raised her eyebrows at me. "I witnessed the accident—I'm not prepared," I explained. She was new and hadn't seen me before.

"Just give it to him, Julie," the other medic snapped at her. "He really is the coroner."

She handed it over and I placed it over his lungs—his left lung had filled with fluids and gurgled slightly. He wasn't taking in enough air for his chest to rise and fall on his own and his skin was turning blue as they pumped the oxygen mask over his face. I listened for his faint heart beat.

A voice boomed to my left. "Edward, what the hell happened?"

"Emmett," I replied dryly. "Mike here decided to pull a gun on Jasper and Bella in the car."

His eyes grew wide. "Wow! I didn't think he had the balls."

I glanced over my shoulder and glared at him to tell him to shut up. He nodded.

Mike was so close to dying and it killed me that I didn't get the chance to murder him myself. Before I relayed all of this information to the two near me, an idea formed in my mind. I glanced down to hide my wicked smile as the image of taking him to the funeral home to torture him came to my mind. Before I had a chance to even play out a single torture scene in my head, the line on the small machine went flat again.

"Fuck," I cursed and the other two medics nodded. But not in agreement because I was upset that he wasn't still alive so I could kill him. I stopped the girl before she could put the paddles to his chest again. "He's had too much—you'll damage him more than you'll help him. He's gone. I'm calling it." I looked at my watched. "Eleven thirty eight." The paramedics stared at me for a second. "Go, I'll take care of this now that my co-worker is here."

They scampered off to help with the rest of the scene.

"Co-worker?" he asked cheerily.

"Don't push it, Em."

"Okay, okay," he said with raised hands.

"Tell me that Alice is here," I muttered.

"She is. She is _sooo_ pissed at herself for not seeing this. She might have had a little too much to drink tonight," Emmett informed me with a smile.

"Fucking pixie," I grumbled. "Go get the gurney."

Emmett didn't hesitate and ran off. When no one else was around us I began to pump the fucker's chest and squeeze the oxygen mask over his face in between. It took a while but he finally took a breath and I watched as his skin started to turn pink again. His heart was still faint as fuck but he was alive . . . and he was about to be in the back of my van. I smiled to myself as Emmett brought over the stretcher on wheels with the body bag.

Emmett helped me put Mike in the bag and couldn't stop smirking the entire time. "You're going to do something bad, aren't you?" He laughed.

"Not bad, Em. Fucking twisted ass shit."

He nodded. "Alice told me about Jacob. I'm glad you don't have to kill Bella."

"Thanks," I replied crisply and handed him my truck keys. "Take my truck—I'll drive the van."

He frowned. "You aren't going to invite me over for some fun?"

"No, fucker! You are going to go to the hospital and watch over Bella while I take care of Mikey here."

He gave me wide eyes but nodded and walked toward the ambulances.

I wheeled Mike to the van, shoved him in there, and slammed the doors. Before I left I went over to Bella and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. Jasper was leaning against the ambulance with an expression of horror on his face. He was muttering under his breath, "It's all my fault." It was so low you couldn't hear it from far away. He was wrong though, it was all my fault.

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" I asked Bella.

"Better," she said happily. "They gave me morphine." She smiled and gave me Chinese eyes.

I chuckled softly. "Mike died on the road so he isn't going to ever bother you again," I told her. She grimaced which made me grimace. "What is it?"

"Can I put lipstick on him at the funeral home?" She laughed to herself and we all looked at her funny.

One of the medics cleared his throat. "She's been thoroughly drugged."

"You think?" I snapped. I glanced back at Bella and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll find you as soon as I take care of the paper work." She nodded.

Alice pulled me away and walked with me to the van. "I'm a little drunk," she slurred.

"Yeah you are," I barked at her. "You let Jasper and Bella get in the car with Mike who had a gun! Sober up because I'm going to need your visions working again."

There was one thing that stopped Alice from seeing the future. I have sneakily used this in the past—get Alice drunk and she can't even see if she'll trip within two seconds. But right at that moment, it just pissed me off that she had drank herself silly enough that she didn't see Mike hide in Jasper's car.

"I'll sober up," she said with a righteous sniff. "You don't think I'm pissed about the whole thing? Jasper was in that car too, ya know?"

"I do know," I growled. "Get your act together."

She stomped off and I jumped in the van and started it up. "Hold on there, Mikey, we're going to have fun tonight."

He grunted and I smiled.

Back at the funeral home I glared down at Mike as he regained his full consciousness. I temporarily fixed his lung and stopped all bleeding that I could find—though I was sure there was internal damage. Anyone would have thought that he was dead before. Even I thought he was dead until I felt his still thumping pulse as I picked him up from the stretcher. He was most definitely alive and now on my Steel Table of Death in my new Dungeon of Torture, aka the basement of Cullen Funeral Home. It had promise—Dungeon of Torture. "Where all your nightmares come true," I mumbled under my breath with a slight chuckle.

It was late at night, the door was locked from the inside, and we had another twelve hours before Carlisle would even consider coming downstairs. Twelve hours to torture this mother fucker for everything he did to Bella. Cut him, dice him, burn him, saw him . . . Oh, the tools in this office gleamed maliciously, happily back at me with lustrous appeal; to finally be of use on a live subject.

Mike screamed through his plastic covered mouth and for a moment I thought of all the wonderful things I could do to him while he was strapped down. Normally, I murdered for joy . . . pleasure . . . and it didn't have to be anyone of consequence. But this murder . . . oh, this one would be epic, wonderfully played out with a purpose . . . Bloody. _And well deserved_. I knew that the game would get boring rather fast, so before the night was over with, I would give him a chance to escape. He would be too weak and I will probably have to attack him like the wounded animal he will be. A chill of excitement scattered wildly down my spine in anticipation. He'd better pray for a quick death, because I was praying for him to stay alive.

I grabbed a pair of medical scissors from my cabinet and strolled over to where Mike was, glad to see that he was still conscious. He followed me with his eyes, clearly wondering that I was up to. I smiled, baring my teeth to the fucker as I held up the scissors. The overhead light casted an eerie glare off the metal which caused Mike to blink rapidly. I flipped the scissors in my hand, circling them around to maximize the glare. I had a vague recollection back to my youth when I used to catch the light of the hot, burning sun with a magnifying glass so I could burn holes through leaves or burn as many ants as I could find.

_Hmm . . . burning holes. I wonder if this asshole has any cigarettes in his possession. Oh, the possibilities._

My mind had gone to that place—the one where I had no regret, felt no remorse. It was that cold, numb, dark part of my head that I reserved for killing.

I stood at Mike's feet, untied his shoe laces, and removed his shoes. The thump of his sneakers as they smacked the floor made the little pansy-ass wince. Without even glancing at him, I began to cut his jeans from his body. I wasn't about to unbutton his pants and remove his bottoms like I was trying to seduce him and shit. Hey, I mean, to each their own, but if I was gay, which I certainly am _not_, I sure as fuck wouldn't stick my dick in_ his_ ass.

"I am cutting off your disgusting jeans because they are only going to get in the way of what I have planned for you," I said gently, as though I were cooing to a baby. The cold, steadiness in my voice was what people feared more than a raging lunatic.

Mike peered over at me, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion, his forehead creased with curiosity. He let out a muffled "Huh?" through the plastic. For now, I was going to keep his mouth taped shut. I would remove the plastic when I was good and ready because I was sure he would spurt something stupid and I had something special planned for his mouth. Well, I didn't really need another reason to torture the fucker.

"You see, you have caused harm to some people very near and dear to me. I cannot let that go unnoticed, Michael," I chided.

His blood stained jeans plopped ceremoniously to the floor. I started on his shirt by creating a small tear at the bottom with the scissors. I shredded the shirt in two with my hands and let it fall off his arms.

There Mike was, lying in my Steel Table of Death, looking so vulnerable. I fucking reveled in that shit because he made my Bella vulnerable.

"Fucking pathetic," I muttered angrily as I thought of how in the hell Bella had ever been attracted to the guy. She fucked this loser, and for that reason alone I wanted to end his life immediately. I regained my focus so I could get back to the task at hand. I wasn't going to worry about what Bella had done with this schmuck. She was with me now. She loved _me_ . . . not him. She would forever make love to me and scream _my_ damn name when she came . . . not his.

Minutes later, I had Mike strapped to my table, his wrists and ankles tightly bound by thick Velcro, the plastic still holding his head in place. He wiggled his hands and feet. His attempts were futile—he was weak and even Emmett couldn't break these bonds. Still, I hoped he would try to escape just to make the chase more interesting. I ripped the tape from his mouth and he screamed like a fucking little sissy.

"Ouch, man! What the fuck? That fucking hurt . . . watch it!" the fucking snake hissed.

I chuckled, deep and dark. "Are you serious? First of all, you have some nerve to speak to me like that, especially since you are the one in the compromising position. You cry 'ouch' like a fucking baby over some sticky little tape. Oh Michael, what the fuck are you going to do when I begin my torture?" I moved to gather my shiny instruments and placed them on the tray table with wheels so I could easily maneuver around the prick.

"Torture?" Mike shrieked. "W-what are you talking about, Edward? I d-don't understand."

Stuttering idiot.

"I knew you wouldn't understand," I replied angrily. "You're a real dumb fuck." I grew bored quickly and wanted to get on with the torture already.

I retrieved his torn pants from the floor, searched the pockets until I found what I was looking for. Ah! Bingo! There was a pack of cigarettes in his pocket. I pulled one free and threw the pack on the silver tray.

"Open," I commanded and held the cigarette to the fucker's mouth. I certainly wasn't going to light one of those disgusting things. I flicked the lighter and brought the flame to the cigarette and watched the filter paper burn; the tobacco sizzled and sparkled orange with delight. Mike was clearly petrified of what I was going to do, but he knew not to fuck with me, so he would comply with my wishes. He took a long drag and before he could let the contamination out, I pulled the cigarette away, pinched his nose, and covered his mouth with my free hand.

I flashed a toothy grin as Mike's eyes bulged out of his head and his face turned the sweet color of crimson. He let out such a melodious muffled scream, which sounded truly wonderful coming from him. His torso was contorting every which way as he tried to free himself from the confines of the Velcro straps. _Fucking idiot_.

I rolled my eyes, sighed and freed a band to rub along his throat so he would swallow the filthy smoke back down before I let him breathe again. The moment I let go, Mike took a huge gasp of air in before he started to dry heave and make girly gagging noises. He proceeded to throw up, projecting vomit from his mouth like that fucking ugly chick from the _Exorcist_. I briefly mused if I could make his head spin like that girl, too. The vomit splashed everywhere in front of him, including his legs and some little bits even landed on my lab coat. Mike looked at me, the horror and vomit dripping from his face. He tried to speak, but ended up coughing instead.

"You fucking piece of shit! You are so damn lucky that I am going to burn this lab coat when I am through with you! You fucking love smoking these things, don't you?" I yelled waving the still lit cigarette in my hand in front of his face. "These things are so heinous, they make your teeth yellow and gross, and they make you smell like a goddamned casino filled with old lady smokers," I seethed, my teeth clenched in anger. "Did you have the nerve to smoke these shit sticks in the house you shared with Bella?"

Mike merely nodded his response, but I wasn't having that.

"Answer me, you disgusting maggot!" I boomed and brought the cigarette to his right nipple. Mike howled in pain like a wounded dog while I marveled at the way the embers melted his pink skin and burned a deep, bloody hole. I pushed harder which caused Mike to writhe in more pain.

"Y-yes . . . fuck! Yes, okay?" he stammered.

I lifted the cigarette, the smell of his burning flesh mixed with the tobacco smoke. "So, you forced Bella to smell like you, the animal that you are, when all she did was care for you? That's what you do to someone you supposedly love? You make them smell like a fucking bar? What the hell did she ever see in you?" I asked incredulously. A fleeting thought crept into my head, questioning Bella's sanity because how could she ever think she had loved this bozo and . . . love me? Of course, I was a million times better and thankfully my girl had the smarts to wise up and leave him to be with me. Still, she attracted men who were just not good for her. But, I was selfish and even if I wasn't good for her, I'd still accept her into my arms. And I'd try to be what she needed me to be. Unlike this fucker . . .

_Um, you're a serial murderer, you fucking idiot, who was hired to kill the love of his life. How sane do you think Bella will be when she finds that out?_

Fuck, I hated being right. I shook my head and quickly erased the thought from my mind. I would save the thought for later because I realized that in order for Bella and I to have a rather normal life together and get the fuck out of here, I needed to come clean about myself and what I was originally hired to do. Remorse swept over my insides causing my heart to clench. I had no fucking clue how Bella would react and that scared me to death. I couldn't live without her and I would rather be dead if she didn't want to spend her life with me. I would die for her. Quickly, I swallowed everything down to return to my dark, numb place.

I didn't even wait for Mike to answer as I began to melt his other nipple. I couldn't leave him uneven now could I? Mike begged for me to stop but that only spurred me on even further. I burned bloody holes all over his sternum and even under his feet. Mike didn't like that very much, but I couldn't really give a rat's ass. I almost marked up his cheeks and forehead, but realized his family might request an open casket. By the time I was done with him, he looked like he had some seriously fucked up chicken pocks. _Fuckin' A, I wish I had my camera for this_.

I was tired of the fucking cancer stick; the smell had burned my goddamn nose hairs. I dropped it in the sink and turned on the faucet, drowning it in water. I could hear Mike whimper and pant. I filled a glass with water as he pleaded.

"P-please, man. Just . . . just let me go and I'll leave town. Fuck, I'll leave the damn country." I poured the glass over his head to wash away some of the disgusting vomit. He spluttered through the water, "Just let me go, I'm begging you."

I got a good hearty laugh out of that one. "Do you honestly think I'm going to let you live after what you did to Isabella and Jasper, making them run off the road like you did?" I paused for a second to consider the thought of wanting to not only protect Bella, but Jasper as well. Strange. "You held a gun to their heads! For fuck's sake, you hired me to kill your wife! Do you really think that I would trust your word? That you wouldn't try to harm Bella in any way again? Jesus, you're even stupider than I thought." I grabbed the scalpel from my table as I formulated the next course of action.

"I won't go near the bitch. I don't care about the money anymore. I don't care about finding Lauren anymore and running away with her. I care about myself and I just want you to let me live . . . please!"

I lunged at him and grabbed Mike by the throat. I started squeezing, my nails cutting through the rubber gloves I wore and I dug into his flesh. I got right into that asshole's face and sneered, "Don't you ever, EVER call her a bitch! She's a goddamned saint for putting up with you for as long as she did. Oh, and I have news for you: I never intended to kill Bella."

I let go of his throat and moved toward the middle of his body. I prepared for what I was about to do next.

"What?" Mike choked. "But you were all for it when I first came to you and Jake? You were going to get a pretty sweet amount of money from this job." Mike wheezed, obviously in a lot of pain from what I had done and the accident. Honestly, I was surprised that he was still conscious. I decided to raise his pain level infinitely. Mike glanced over at me and I could see that he was thinking about something.

He spoke again, a small smile spreading across his face. "Ah, I know why you couldn't do it. You saw her picture and thought she was hot, huh? You wanted to see if you could fuck her first or something like that, huh?" He gasped a crazy chuckle. "Well, good luck trying to open those legs of hers. She's been closed for business for a long time now. Why do you think I sought other pussy? But, hey, go ahead and take a stab at it. Go ahead and fuck her."

I absolutely could not believe the asshole had the nerve to speak to me like that when I was the one calling the shots. Mike must have known that he wasn't going to survive the night, so he decided to go out like the prick, cocksucker he was. I almost admired his tenacity. Almost.

"She shut those legs to stop from picking up a disease from Lauren. I hope you stocked up on antibiotics . . . oh, wait, you won't be alive for it to matter." I rammed an elbow into his favorite area—where his brain was located—and smiled as he arched off the table in pain. I leaned down towards his ear and whispered, "Not to worry, though, Mike. I've already tasted her sweetness in more than one way. I fucked Bella and boy she is one little tomcat, let me tell you. The dirty little things she was saying while in the throes of passion would make your head spin. Oh, and the way _my_ name fell from her perfect lips when I made her come was like a symphony to my ears."

I smiled widely and moved quickly as lightning to cut into his skin on the side of his pelvis. The scalpel tore through his flesh like a fine filet mignon. A bright red line sprouted instantly, following the movements of my scalpel. Mike screamed in agony while he tried asking me what I was doing to him.

"Well, Michael, I'm going to give you an appendectomy. Then I plan on taking out your spleen. Hey, wanna see what your intestines look like?" I questioned excitedly like a kid waking on Christmas morning and finding presents under the tree. Feeling like I had consumed too many Red Bulls, I started to create more cuts through his flesh so I could use the clamps to hold him open and unravel the yards of intestines in his body. I wasn't sure how long he was going to live so I had the necessary resuscitation equipment nearby.

For two hours I went through the procedures as if I was a surgeon—I gave him blood that I was lucky we had around and fluids. I had to revive Mike only once. After that I used anesthesia; I only numbed him through his spinal fluid so he would be fully awake—some torture was mental. I worked vigorously as I sliced up Mike's body and removed his small internal organs that were of no significance. All the while, I delivered a lecture to him about each part while I held it up. Mike just lied there, crying and moaning, closing his eyes whenever I tried to show him something from his body. When I threatened to sew his eyes open so he would have to look, he quickly complied and never closed his eyes again. I made sure that I kept Mike alive, but he was fading fast, his heartbeat was extremely slow and his breaths became farther apart.

"I-I . . . c-c-an't t-t-take anym-more," Mike rasped, stumbling over his words. "P-p-please j-just knock me o-out or k-kill me."

Oh, that was rich, really. Was he kidding me? Keeping him conscious was half the fun and he was ruining it by yammering on the way he was. Jesus, I was just getting ready to unravel his small intestine.

I sighed, annoyed by his babbling and moved back towards his face, but not before getting one of my favorite shiny instruments first. Remember, I had something special planned for his mouth. Spreading his lips upon my command, I took his tongue between the clamps I had and pulled his tongue out of his mouth, which caused Mike to lazily whimper.

"You know, Michael, sometimes you really need to learn when to shut the fuck up." With that, I took my scalpel and proceeded to make a very even slice right across his tongue. The blood spluttered everywhere. There was a stream of it that actually flowed toward the ceiling like the fountains in front of the Bellagio Hotel in Vegas. It looked sorta cool if you ask me.

Mike bellowed in agony, sounding all raspy and shit. I rolled my eyes because once again, Mike was spoiling it all for me. So, I took his tongue and cut it up into a few pieces and fed it to him. Well, I had to shove it down his throat because he wasn't following my rules, but I made him swallow every bit of his tongue nonetheless. My fingers down his throat triggered Mike's gag reflex and he threw up bloody bile this time. Geez, he was a fucking mess . . . and I loved every bit of it. I loved that_ I_ did this to him, that _I_ was the one to end this fucker's life and got the opportunity to torture him.

"This is for attempting to rape Bella, fucker. This is for treating her like she was good for nothing. This is for making her change her own flat tire in a dark parking lot as a murderer watched. All of this, fucker, is for Bella. The threats, the murder for hire . . . all of it. Luckily for you, you are close to death."

Now that Mike was sufficiently silenced, I went on with my live anatomy lesson. I spoke as though I was a fucking tour guide informing travelers on the Grand Canyon. I think Mike liked my presentation, although I wasn't sure he was going to get to give me a grade when I was through with him. What a pity, really. The whole thing was growing boring and so I stitched him back up.

I pulled off my scrubs and went to the sink to wash off and take a small break. "You know," I called over my shoulder. "Bella and I murdered Lauren."

The sound of his whimper made me smile widely.

When I turned around, the room was a crimson, ruby mess. Mike lay on the Steel Table of Death and panted. Hard. His life would soon be over and I still hadn't said or done all the things I wanted to that fucker.

"Edward?" a soft voice spoke behind me. The dark place disappeared as I whirled around to see Bella and the expression on her face. Fuck my life. "What are you doing?"

"I—" I was at a complete loss of words. It was only a matter of time before I would tell Bella what kind of person I was, but for her to find me in the act was just . . . fuck. "I just performed an autopsy on Mike." When had I become such a bad liar?

He groaned behind me. Fuck.

"He's still alive?" She gasped as realization dawned across her face.

I took a step to the side to show her Mike's body. "Yeah," I admitted sheepishly.

Her breath picked up as she took a step toward us. Her face was an unreadable mask as she cradled her bandaged arm.

"Bella," I began.

She waved me off and moved closer. "What did you do?"

"I—" Fuck. "I tortured him." There, it was out. _Here I am, Bella. This is me—has been me forever. But this was supposed to be my last . . ._ But, of course, I couldn't say those things to her. I didn't know how.

Tears suddenly flooded her face as she rushed toward what was left of Mike. I pivoted to see their reunion and my vision grew red as I saw both of their faces soften when they saw each other. It took everything in me to keep myself cool, calm.

"You deserve a lot of shit, Mike, but not this." She sighed heavily and peered over her shoulder at me. "Edward?"

She didn't need to say anything more. I understood what she was saying and asking with just that one word in her soft tone of voice. It spoke volumes: she didn't approve of my torture—but she did of his death; she knew it was the only way for us to be together.

I gave a slight nod. "You have me. Forever," I said.

"It's the only way," she whispered to herself. Bella glanced back at what was left of Mike and spoke, her words final. "Goodbye, Michael." She reached over the bloody mess, grasped his nose, and with her other hand she smothered his mouth.

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_Love is a reciprocal __torture__._—Marcel Proust

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**A/N:** There is a read along tonight (4-29-10) via twitter at 8pm EST. Search #readalong or find nikkijoy10. Check out our profile to find more information!

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	16. 15 Reality Check

**Wicked Angel**

**15. Reality Check**

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_"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it's not going to go away."  
-- Elvis Presley _

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I stood silently behind Bella as I watched her put an end to Mike's life. When there was no more movement from Mike, Bella's hands slid from his face and down to her sides. She was very quiet and still. After several seconds I was about to say something when she spun around, vomited all over the floor, and collapsed to her knees.

I lunged for her in my need to comfort her in whatever way possible, but I stopped short when she held her hands up at me.

"Stay the fuck away from me; do _not_ fucking touch me!" she screamed.

I stopped short, frozen in place. My heart beat a mile a minute as her words hit me hard. She started to dry heave while tears fell from her eyes. I was so afraid she was going to hyperventilate. I just wanted to go to her, to hold her, but I wasn't sure what would trigger a bad reaction.

"Bella," I breathed. "Please." I was practically begging. I took one hesitant step towards her and her body recoiled away from me so fast she fell on her butt and crashed against the wall behind her.

She curled up against the wall, holding her injured arm tightly against her chest with her good one. She was sobbing and shaking.

"Please," she whispered. "Please don't hurt me."

I had done so many horrible things in my life. I had looked into the eyes of the family members of people I killed more times than I care to admit and never once felt an ounce of guilt. But here in this room with Bella, I felt the impact of everything I had ever done fall on me like a ton of boulders. It was that look on her face that brought all the shit I had ever done in my life to the forefront.

She looked petrified . . . of _me_. The look in her eyes and the words she said broke me into a thousand pieces.

"What?" I croaked out. "Bella, I would _never_ hurt you."

She finally looked up and made eye contact with me. She was still shaking so hard.

"What . . . . what are you? Who are you?" she asked as she desperately tried to take a breath.

"Bella, he was in the back of the Jasper's car. He was going to kill you," I tried to explain.

"So you just took it upon yourself to kill him? Oh no wait . . . I killed him, to put him out of his misery . . . you fucking tortured him," she screamed as she started to get to her feet.

Once she rose to her feet, she started to slide sideways against the wall, away from me, towards the stairs.

"If anyone in this world knew what an asshole Mike was it is me, but who the fuck made you God? You think you can just go and kill someone because they have done you wrong? Mike was a sick mother fucker but no one deserves to die like that," she said as she looked over at the table Mike's body was lying on.

Big mistake . . . she vomited again.

I stood as still as a statue as she finally composed herself and stood up straight against the wall again.

"Edward, I have struggled with not going to the police to turn myself in for what happened to Lauren, but she _did_ come at me first with a knife and I had to defend myself. Something tells me that your cool demeanor over _that_ situation, and what I walked in on here tonight, means that this wasn't the first time you have done this kind of thing. If you had shot Mike, or strangled him, over what he did today I could have _possibly _made sense of it, but . . . _that_"—she pointed in his direction without looking this time—"_that_ is fucking sick. No sane person could kill another human being in that manner."

She turned her body so she faced the wall and started to sob again. "How did my life end up like this?" she said in barely a whisper, obviously to herself.

I still hadn't moved a muscle. I stood across the room from her since she had moved. My mind was spinning. I couldn't process anything. I had no idea what to do, what to say, how to proceed at all. The one thing that I did know was that she was right. I was a fucking sick, insane monster. When had killing people become as menial to me as taking out the trash? Sure Mike deserved to die, I would never feel differently about that, not after what he did to Bella, but how did I become the type of person who could mutilate another human being in such a horrendous way and not find it revolting?

I was snapped out of my reverie when Bella took another step to her side, now holding on to the railing of the stairs.

"So, Edward, I ask again: what are you? Are you a serial killer? If you are then just get it over with and kill me now. I won't tell the police but I'm not sure I want to live anymore. Everything I know is gone. Mike is dead and . . . the man I love is not who I thought he was." She began to cry again, but this time it was softer, more of a mourning cry, not one of fear and anger.

"Bella, I am _not_ going to kill you! God, Baby, I would never hurt you. You have to believe me when I say that I am _not_ a serial killer." I brought my hand up and grabbed my hair, pulling on it very hard. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and figure out how I would explain all this to her without freaking her out more than she already was.

When I finally opened up my eyes she was staring back at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I . . . I . . ." I stuttered, "I'm a hit man. I'm hired to kill . . . people," I blurted out, unable to think of any way to sugar coat the truth.

Bella's eyes widened in shock but she didn't say anything. She stood in silence for several minutes trying to process what I had said, and what it meant exactly.

"And Alice and Emmett . . . " she trailed off.

"Yes, they work with me too. We all have different 'jobs' but we work as a . . . team . . . I guess you could say."

I knew if any of them heard me telling her all this right now they wouldn't think twice about putting a bullet in my head, but I felt like I had no choice, no other option left, than to tell her the truth . . . the _whole_ truth.

"And Bella," I said very carefully, "there is more to this story. More to why I did to Mike what I did."

She just looked into my eyes. Fear of what I would say next swam through the brown eyes that I loved so dearly.

"Mike had hired me to kill you for your insurance money so he could skip town and take off with Lauren." I knew there was no easy way to say that so I did it just like you would do if you had to take a band aid off . . . just rip it off fast.

Bella fell backwards onto the steps and screamed. The sound echoed off the walls around me and straight through to my heart, killing any last piece that had not already shattered.

"But, Bella . . . Baby, once I saw you . . . I knew I couldn't do it. I knew the second I first saw you that there was no way I was going to be able to follow through with it. I have been dragging my feet, buying time so that I could figure out how to get us out of this. Am I sorry that you walked in and saw this tonight? Yes . . . but would I take it back? No! That fucker wanted you dead and now he got what he deserves."

Bella looked up at me from where she sat on the stairs. Her cheeks were stained with tears and she was barely holding on to her sanity. I tentatively held up my hands to her, palms facing out, so she would understand I was not going to hurt her, and I took several slow steps forward. She watched me intensely and let me come towards her but when I was about three feet away she yelled and told me to stop.

"That's close enough," she said.

I nodded my head in understanding and slowly crouched down so that I was eyelevel to her.

"Isabella, I have done a lot of things that I am not proud of in my life. And the worst part is that I never cared at all about the hurt and devastation I caused others. I felt like I was doing some kind of fucking service to people, getting rid of people who fucked them over, while collecting a nice sum of money for myself. It felt like a win-win situation for everyone involved in my eyes. But the day I met you something inside me changed. I couldn't exactly identify what it was that changed but I just started feeling things for the first time. I had built up so many walls around me for so long that I was void of any emotional feeling, but once I started loving you it just opened the floodgates for every other type of emotion I had never felt. Tonight, with Mike . . . it was going to be my last _'job'_," I told her honestly. "You coming into my life made me want to be better. You have made me want to be a better man."

Bella blinked and a single tear fell down her cheek. She hesitantly picked up her hand that was resting on her knee and she reached out towards me. She was about to place her palm on my cheek, so I closed my eyes and tilted my head towards her, but right before she made contact she suddenly pulled it back.

My eyes flew open and I locked eyes with her in a questioning look.

She stood up slowly, grasping the railing beside her. "I'm sorry, Edward, but I have to go. This . . . this is all just too much for me. I don't know what I'm supposed to believe anymore. My life has turned upside down in a matter of weeks and now I have to go home and plan a funeral for my husband who tried to have me murdered . . . by _you_."

She wiped at her eyes and I saw her body tense up as she tried to hold in another bout of tears. She turned and started slowly walking up the steps.

"Bella?" I choked out.

She stopped walking up the stairs but didn't turn to face me.

"Will I talk to you again?" I asked, my heart clenching in my chest.

Her body started to tremble and I knew that she had lost her battle in trying to hold in her tears. After a few seconds she slowly just shrugged her shoulders, silently letting me know that she didn't know. And with that she ran up the last few steps, across the foyer, and out the front door.

I was still crouching, but when I heard the front door slam shut I fell back onto my ass, leaning back against the wall. I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around my legs, and buried my head into them. For the first time in my life I broke down in sobs.

I could feel the blood soak through my shirt and pants as I sat in a puddle of Mike's blood.

What a fucking mess. Not only was the damn Dungeon of Torture a war zone, but whatever relationship I had left with Bella was destroyed right along with it. I needed to clean up, but I couldn't get my sorry ass out of the warm thick blood to do what needed to be done.

I screwed up. I had no one to blame but myself. How could I be like this? How fucked up was I? When I called myself a hitman did it make me feel better? _Man up Cullen. You killed dozens of people, and enjoyed it, getting paid was just an added bonus. You _are _a serial killer._

The words made my stomach jump into my throat; I hated puke. I tried to keep the vomit from coming it up, but it was too late. The room was covered in it. Hers, his, why not add mine. I was paralyzed on the floor as I leaned over and let the acidic stomach contents come up and mix with a puddle of blood. I sat up and wiped my nose. I felt like a helpless puppy.

My heart was broken. It wasn't a clean break—nothing ever broke evenly—and hearts, I just learned, broke in jagged pieces and jabbed you repeatedly to remind you of how badly you were broken inside.

"FUCK!" I cried out in agony. I was like the wounded animal now. It was torture to have her gone. Maybe this was Mike paying it forward from the Hell I sentenced him to. Bella may have sent him there, but I started it. I would be there one day with him. Shit, it was possibly better than this.

My Bella may never speak to me again. I could have fucked her up. I could have ruined her. The thoughts caused more sobs to rock my body.

I heard heavy footsteps followed by feather-light steps coming down the stairs to the mess I made. Emmett and Alice.

"Holy shit Edward! What the fuck? I knew I should have left Jasper at the hospital and come here to stop you! I hoped it would change paths, this is one hell of a mess," Alice said, looking around. "Jasper is okay. He suffered a concussion and they just want to observe him overnight in case you cared," Alice added, as she stood over Mike.

"Nice work, Eddie!" Emmett boomed from his spot next to Alice.

"Burn it for me." I didn't ask. Emmett didn't have a choice.

"If Jacob finds out what you told Bella tonight, you both are as good as dead," Alice informed me.

"Shit Allie! I'm not gonna tell him! Are you?" I asked, still frozen in the warm blood. "Why the fuck didn't you see this? How the hell did he end up in the back of that car with them? Huh, Alice?" I demanded, wiping my sweaty brow.

"Go get cleaned up, Cullen Funeral Home has a funeral to get ready for," Alice said, ignoring my question. She never cleaned up messes. She must have been feeling generous because she put on a jumpsuit and gloves and got to cleaning. "You owe me Cullen," she added as I took off the bloodied clothes and threw them on top of Mike, who was getting ready to go in the incinerator.

"Answer my question Alice! Why didn't you see this?" I asked again.

"Because Edward! I had too much to drink!" Alice said bluntly. She was pissed. "Do you think I would have let this happen to Jasper?" she became angrier as she asked me the last question.

"Will Bella forgive me?" I asked her.

"Edward, I don't know. She doesn't know. She hasn't made any choices, other than to take things a day at a time." Alice smiled meekly at me. I slowly gave in and made my way to the shower.

I stood under the hot shower as I thought of Bella. Water cascaded down my body as the blood washed off my body. I wanted to call her. I don't know why I thought she would answer but as soon as I had the towel wrapped around my waist I called her. It rang once and went to voicemail. It was comforting to hear her voice on the other end.

_Give her some fucking time you ass!_ I yelled at myself. After a kill like that I would normally sleep like a baby, but not after the reality of what happened hit me. Of what I did. Of what type of sadistic person I was. How the hell did I become so sadistic? Was it my childhood before the Cullens saved me? Did they not really save me? Obviously not. I was one sick mother fucker. I must have lost some sort of touch with reality to be able to do the things I did. Would therapy even help me?

I don't need fucking therapy! I have—had?—Bella. She saves me. She makes me see the truth. Fuck. I needed to stop thinking before Alice caught on to my train of thought. How the hell do you keep a psychic out of your head? How do you lie to your own psyche? I didn't even think I was brilliant enough to take on that task. I just couldn't think about it, I couldn't go there; I just had to hope she wasn't looking.

I didn't bother to get dressed the next morning. I wore old scrubs as I made my way back to the funeral home. Alice assured me it was spotless.

The urge to call Bella tugged on me every five minutes. It was like an itch on the bottom of my foot I couldn't scratch. Each time I tried, I ended up making it itch more.

"Edward?" my adoptive father questioned me as I walked into the funeral home. His gaze moved up and down my disheveled appearance.

"Yeah?" I asked back, taking a sip of coffee that I had added a shot . . . fine, three shots of whiskey to.

"This is not how you arrive to work! I have the chief of police bringing in his daughter to arrange a funeral for her husband, Michael Newton, and this is how you show up? What's gotten into you? Is this about that girl? Are you having problems?" Carlisle questioned me.

"She wants nothing to do with me," I told him honestly. The whiskey brought out the truth. I was tempted to say "the widow isn't really that upset about her husbands passing since she spent the past month or so in my bed." But the liquid truth of alcohol didn't affect me like it did years ago, when I had a lesser tolerance.

"Go get cleaned up, and dump the coffee with your whiskey. We have work to do," my father insisted.

"Can't you handle this one yourself?" I asked. I wanted nothing more than to see my Bella, but I didn't want to push her into a spot she didn't want to be in.

"Yes, but not the entire thing, I will need you around," Carlisle said sternly. I nodded at him, ignored his request to dump my spiked coffee, and chugged the rest of it back when the doorbell rang to signal her arrival.

I knew I should have run in the opposite direction; seeing her would make one of the jagged edges of my heart stab me thousands of times to remind me of all the pain even the whiskey couldn't mask.

She looked sad and, as always, stunning in a modest black dress and ballet flats. She smiled warmly at Carlisle as he introduced himself to her and greeted Charlie.

"It's nice to see you again, Charlie. I just wish it weren't under these terrible circumstances." he told him as he led them past my frozen form so they could go into the office.

She was so close, all I had to do was reach my finger out and I would have brushed against her exposed arm. I somehow found the self control to stop myself. She didn't even look at me. The vanilla scent lingered in the air around me for what seemed like hours. I left my spot and could still smell her sweet scent. I felt like, if I reached out, I could feel her silky skin. Maybe I was really losing it, hallucinating about feeling Bella again.

It had been way too long since I made love to her. I was desperate to taste her, feel her lips and mouth on mine. The thought that I may never experience her in my bed again elicited a strangled groan from deep in my chest and made me ache in places I didn't know could feel pain.

I tried to listen to the arrangements Bella made for her husband—a husband that had wanted her dead. "Now, Bella took out a life insurance policy on Michael in the amount of two million," I heard Charlie say.

Holy fucking shit. Of course. If he had one on her, why the hell wouldn't she have the same on him?

"His family can't get here from Arizona for four days. His sister just had a baby," Bella cried. I knew she wasn't crying over the loss of her husband as her father and mine believed. She was crying over the baby she would never have. She didn't care if Mike was an asshole, she just wanted to be a mother. And she settled for the wrong tool to fulfill her desire.

Chances were she would never create a life with me. She wouldn't want to take the chance of having a lunatic, serial-killing baby. On paper, in a sperm bank, my sperm would be gone first. It would happen fast and furious. Photographic memory and above average looking, leave out the serial killer part and no one would pass up the chance to have a little me. Except I _was_ a killer. That was a part of me; a sick part that began to disgust me. Not even Bella, who sat crying over a baby that she would never have, would ever choose to conceive my child. Not after finding out the truth about me—about who I was. But if she ever gave me another chance, I'd do _anything_ in my power to give her the baby that she so desperately wanted.

I stopped my thoughts there just in case Alice was seeking my future. Would I stop killing if Bella never forgave me? I swore I would never hurt her. But I swore I wasn't crazy. What I did was beginning to make me feel fucking sick and beyond crazy.

I could never hurt her. The mere thought of harming her brought bile up the back of my throat. If being far away from me made her happy, I would suck it up and let her run as far as her legs would carry her. I would never harm her again. I would never make her hurt again. If I could take those images of Mike from her head, I would in a second, even if it cost me my life.

That was fucking it. I thought about just going into the office, dropping to my fucking knees, and begging Bella to forgive me. I felt resolved in this half thought-out idea. I walked like a man on a mission to the slightly ajar door and knocked three times.

"Come in Edward," Carlisle said.

"Um . . . ." Fuck. Think fast Cullen. "Can I talk to Mrs. Newton?" I hated that name with a passion. "Alone, I wanted to know if she had any questions for me," I said. I know it was fucked up. I was asking her to be alone in a room under the pretense of discussing Mike's death.

"No," Isabella said, looking away from me.

"Surely you must have some questions, Bella. Why don't we just leave you alone for a minute," Charlie said while standing up from the brown leather chair.

"Chief Swan." I smiled at him in thanks as he and my father walked out the door.

I did it. I dropped to my knees in front of her and began to sob.

"I'm so sorry Bella! Please, I am so lost without you! Please don't fucking leave me," I cried, not bothering to wipe the tears on my checks.

Bella handed me a tissue and shook her head no. She placed her hand under my chin and looked right in my eyes. I could see tears brimming in them. "I need some space, Edward. I need you to give me some time to think," she said, one tear sliding down her face in a black line from her mascara.

"You can't leave me! Please, you make me a better man! I can't do this without you! Don't fucking leave me! I know I am fucked up! I know I need help! Please, I need you!" Isabella took the tissue she clutched in one hand and wiped the tear away. She stroked my cheek before she stood and walked around me, I heard her brush her dress and inhale deeply before she opened the door and joined her father and Carlisle in the hallway.

"I think that is enough for one day," I heard her say. "Thank you Carlisle, it was wonderful to have your support today."

"If you need anything at all Mrs. Newton," my father began before Bella interrupted him.

"Please, call me Bella," she insisted.

"Well, Bella, if you need anything, any time of day, we are available, my son Edward and I. Don't hesitate to call. And we are so sorry for your loss," my dad finished.

I was frozen again, on my knees in front of the seat that still radiated Bella's body heat. I heard Charlie and Bella leave and I even heard the creaking of the door as my father entered the office.

He looked at me oddly as more tears streamed down my face.

"Edward, stay away from Bella," he said, choosing to ignore my odd behavior for the moment. I couldn't pull myself together if my life depended on it. I'd be a dead man. My insides felt like they were ripped out. All I was left with was an empty hole; the jagged pieces of my heart must have cut through and fell out, just leaving me empty. At least when I felt them stabbing me I had penance. Now there was nothing. I think the vast nothingness was worse than the stabbing.

"How long have you been having an affair with Isabella Newton, Edward?" Carlisle didn't beat around the bush; he never did.

Did he expect me to answer him? I physically couldn't. I tried and all that escaped was another sob.

"I can't afford to not have your help on the day of the funeral. Take the next few days off, but be ready to work the day of the funeral, go home and get yourself together," he told me as he worked on papers that sat in front of him. I couldn't tell if this was his version of tough love, or he was just completely pissed and disappointed in me. It didn't matter. All I cared about was Bella's opinion of me.

I stumbled to my feet, the whiskey giving me more side effects and causing more asinine behavior. Shit, when it came to Bella, even I wasn't too proud to beg. I would try anything.

I staggered down the street since my father had taken my car keys. As he looked at me with disappointment radiating from him, he told me he would never scrape his son off the sidewalk after a motor vehicle accident where the driver was dumb enough to drink and drive. I told him that was fine, that I could use the fresh air.

The first place I hit: Volturi's Nest. I went in and sat at the bar. Jasper wasn't working so I had to put up with Jane's twin brother Alec.

They were crooks through and through. They hated our group. The Volturi's swore we stole business from them. They didn't do hits like us; they did scare tactics, breaking knee caps and what not. They also had a pretty huge gambling racquet. And if you needed drugs they were the family to see. Sure, maybe we killed some of their customers, but we never stole their business. I couldn't be known as the guy that broke knee caps when you couldn't pay back a bet.

That was what got Jane killed. Alice saw that she figured us out. She was about to rat us out, bringing our operation down—we couldn't happen. Alice could still see evidence that she left behind for Alec to find. She kept saying it was only a matter of time before he would need to go too. He seemed to have it figured it, but lacked the proof. I wouldn't be the one to do it. I was done.

"What's your poison?" Alec asked and placed a napkin in front of me.

"Line me up four shots of Jameson and a Sam Adams," I said and put my money down on the bar. Just because he hated me didn't mean he wouldn't take my money. Shit, he stole my money. Charging me six dollars a shot.

And that was how I spent the next three days, in that shit ass bar drinking away my sorrows. Alice was busy nursing Jasper back to health and Bella was planning a funeral. Everyone just gave me the space I needed.

Emmett had enough eventually. He came in there, picked my drunk ass up by the collar of my dirty ass shirt, and took me home. He pulled me up the stairs and turned on the cold shower before shoving me in fully clothed. Even my shoes.

I watched the water runoff my body as I shivered against the wall. It was black. Dirt. I never went more than a day without a shower. Three days ago, when I walked into that bar, I hadn't even changed my fucking underwear. I puked everyday from the amount of alcohol I drank. I was disgusting. A far cry from the millionaire hit man, no, serial killer that I was; let's call them like we see them, Eddie.

Fuck that asshole who, over twenty years ago, fucked with me. I swear he is the fucking reason I am so fucked up. If I could find him, forget Mike being my last kill, that asshole would be. Maybe I would pay him forward. As the thoughts of my past made me break down even further, I began punching the tile wall in the shower until it cracked. Even Emmett couldn't get me to stop.

"DUDE! What the fuck?" Emmett yelled. "Your hand is all fucked up!" I stopped when I felt the sting and saw the blood trickle down my hand; it was a light pink since the shower water diluted it. My knuckles were all cracked open and a few of the white tiles were cracked; leaving blood spilling down.

At least I could feel something. It stung—I could feel. Maybe I wasn't really that empty.

"She isn't going to come back to you if you're like this Edward! She doesn't want to come back to some dirty drunk!" Emmett yelled and pulled me out of the shower.

The water dripped off my clothes, my tears as big as the drops of water that fell from the hair that hung on my forehead.

"Where the fuck are you? I want Edward back! Bella, she wants Edward back! Not this sorry excuse for a person you have become! Fucking fight! The Edward I know would fight!" Emmett screamed at me. "Get your shit together Edward, otherwise you are not going to have anyone left when you pull your head out of your ass. You have a funeral to go to in the morning. Get cleaned up, shave and show Bella what the hell she is missing. She fucking loves you. I know that much. Remind her of the man she loves, cause this"—Emmett motioned up and down my body—"ain't it."

It was time to start acting like the man she fell in love with. I wasn't always a monster. I had to focus on the good. On the times I wasn't a monster. I had to stop letting murder define me. I had to start letting love lead me. If I wanted a shot in hell of winning Bella back, I had to show her the person I wanted to be.

Emmett took his cue to leave as I peeled off my soaking wet shirt, letting it plop to the tile floor leaving a puddle of gray water surrounding it.

I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror before I decided I needed to shave the beard I had let grow in from the past five days. I rubbed the hair along my jaw before splashing my face with warm water and began to shave. After I finished, I started to feel a little better. A little more human. A little less scary looking. A little more like the man Bella could love.

I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in my bed without Bella. It hurt too much. After I was cleaned up, I curled up on my couch and slept for over twelve hours.

I was woken up by Esme who had been sent to fetch me and to make sure I made it to work today.

Today was the big day. Mike's funeral. I would see my Bella soon.

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"_Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." __-James Arthur Baldwin_

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**A/N: Thanks to Lisa for doing the edits. It means a lot to us for all your hard work! **

**Don't forget you can get teasers on our Facebook page and the Twilighted thread. All links on our profile! **


	17. 16 Killer Sentiments

**Wicked Angel**

**16. Killer Sentiments**

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_My secret side I keep_  
_Hid under lock and key_  
_I keep it caged_  
_But I can't control it_

—Monster

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The funeral itself went off without a hitch. Bella showed up, dressed in all black, and proved to be a convincing mourning wife. She sat in the first pew of the church, Kleenex in one hand, holding Charlie's hand in her other. I didn't want to believe she was actually crying for that bastard, but one couldn't fake all those tissues she was using, much less the nose blowing.

I stood with Carlisle in the front, making sure the casket, the people, the priest, and the program were all in order. Emmett and Alice glanced up at me, Emmett practically beamed at me, undoubtly because of my transformation of total slob to a decently dressed man. I finally came to my senses when Esme woke me up. Bella shouldn't ever have to know the man I had been for the past few days: a wreck. I would show her that the man she fell in love with was still here . . . despite my past as a serial killer.

The program was coming to a close when I saw Charlie whisper something in Bella's ear. Both rose from their seats and walked toward me and Carlisle. Bella was careful to look everywhere else but at me. I did my best to hold it together and appear stoic. No need to let the whole town of Forks know about my feelings toward the newly widowed Mrs. Newton.

"Charlie, what can I do for you?" Carlisle was all business, no bullshiting around. One of the many reasons I admired the man. He knew that if you seemed to be mourning, it made it harder for those who had lost their loved one.

"Well, I know this is the part of the program where everyone comes up and gives their last farewell to the deceased, and we had agreed on a closed casket, but I was thinking it would be better for my Bells to have some closure. Can we please open the casket?"

My eyes drifted to Bella as quickly as I heard Charlie's request . . . and just as quickly I heard Bella shout quite loudly "_No_!"

Not only did she startle the three of us, she shocked the whole damn room . . . who were now gawking at our group.

I swallowed thickly as Charlie pressed on. "Bella, surely you can see the reasoning behind this? I don't want your last visual of your husband to be one of him lying on the road, cut up and bleeding. That can't be healthy for you."

Dammit. I wanted to kick myself. Sure as fuck, that wouldn't be her last image of him.

She took a deep, stuttering breath. "Dad, believe me, that's not the image that I conjure up when I think of him." Her eyes quickly shifted to me, giving me an icy glare, then back to Charlie. "I just don't think I can handle seeing the finality of his body in the coffin. I'm better off how I remember him. Please, _please_, don't open it up."

Deep down people wanted to see the body—not because they wanted to see the person who passed—because it was just human nature for people to be fascinated with death. This crowd was no different. Charlie gave his daughter a hard look as the whole room went quiet in anticipation. One of the many things that sucked about this service was it could be _too_ quiet at times. You couldn't have a private conversation . . . and in this case, I wished badly nobody else was listening. I wondered briefly if they could hear my heart hammering against my chest.

"If you're sure, then I won't push it. I didn't even check to see how he was dressed up or if he looked okay . . ."

"I brought him something to be buried in, Dad. I'm a grown woman; I don't need you to do this for me. Besides, I'm sure Carlisle did a great job getting him dressed and put in properly."

I wished I was able to kick my father in the shins to shut him up, but he spoke before I could intervene." Actually, Edward handled him. He said he would rather be the one to make sure he was settled in correctly and dressed. I'm sure my son did a great job taking care of Michael. I've never had a complaint about him. Edward is always thorough."

I felt sick and extremely awful for Bella. God only knew what she was thinking, but I had a feeling she was picturing me in a coffin next to Mike. I wished there was some way to make up for what she had seen—I never intended for her to know about what I did to Mike. I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything inappropriate.

Bella's stony eyes flashed to mine. Without turning away, she responded coldly to Charlie. "You see? Edward took care of it himself . . . and as his father said, he's_ very_ thorough and I believe him."

I could feel Charlie staring at me, though my eyes were still honed in on Bella's, wishing I could erase the pain I could see etched in her face . . . and her anger. I couldn't just let her go. I had to say something.

Keeping eye contact with Bella, I whispered roughly, "Believe me, I handled Michael with great care this morning. In honor of the ones he's leaving behind, and in mourning for a life that was tragically taken when he was so young. He died . . . unfairly . . . and I'm truly sorry for your loss, Mrs. Newton." My voice was surprisingly vacant and I was thankful my ability to hide my emotions hadn't left me along with the rest of my sanity.

Bella's eyes watered and her lower lip trembled, showing me some type of feeling that she hadn't in the last couple of days. I wanted her to know, subtly, that I truly was sorry for the pain I had caused her in my part of the _stupid_ plan. She nodded her head briefly at me and I saw a flicker of the love she had for me still in her eyes. I had a ways to go yet, but just knowing she didn't hate me brought me great pleasure and put my mind at ease.

After Charlie and Bella took their seats again, people lined up to pay their respects to Bella and Charlie, and some touched the coffin as they walked by, honoring Mike. I stood there and waited until every single person had gone through the line, then watched my father go up and dismiss everyone to attend the burial service.

My eyes scanned the room as they landed on Rose and Jasper, who were surprisingly not by Emmett and Alice's side, but by Bella's. Alice made a gesture to me, signaling that they would meet me at the burial site. I nodded quickly toward them both. A few minutes later I watched Bella leave with her father and her friends.

Carlisle clapped my back and said, "You ready Son? The sooner we put this S.O.B. into the ground, the sooner you and Bella can get on with your life."

I turned to him in complete surprise. He'd never once voiced his opinion of Bella and me, although I had been curious to say the least.

"What? You think I don't know what a rat Mike was? Hell, everyone knew. He didn't exactly hide his relationship with Lauren very well. Bella deserves someone better . . . and you need to give her some time and space, okay? She can't exactly just jump into another relationship with someone. In this small town, everyone talks. Besides, the way she feels about you is obvious. Don't rush things."

I nodded and turned to help him load the coffin. I couldn't help but feel better after hearing the words that came from my father. I never thought his approval would be important, but apparently it was.

The service at the burial site went by too quickly. There were always fewer people that attended that portion of a funeral service. I never understood why, perhaps it had to do with seeing the finality of it? Who knew?

This time, I stood in close proximity to Bella, but didn't attempt to talk or interact with her. I didn't want to push her away; after all, she'd only just found out I killed people for a living and that she had been my next target. It would've given anybody a good scare . . . but obviously not a good enough one since she hadn't turned me in. Yet.

She wasn't crying anymore but her friends were still rubbing her arms and back. Alice and Emmett silently stood with me, watching. The three of us looked out of place compared to Bella and her friends. I wondered briefly if we would ever be able to merge our two worlds together. I was hoping we would, but I had a nagging feeling in my heart that it wouldn't be easy. It was okay, Bella would be worth every ounce of effort it took me to win her back.

The coffin was lowered into the ground and people started to disperse and get into their vehicles. Charlie spoke to my parents, but I couldn't bring myself to move from my spot. Bella was still close and I was gripping onto hope like it was my only link to sanity. Perhaps it was. Who knew when I would be remotely close to her again? There was a possibility she would never speak to me again.

Being this close, yet so far from her, really, really hurt. I knew Emmett and Alice being at my side was their way of showing their support in my time of loss. They were here in the only way they knew how—they were serial killers after all and emotions were a strange concept to them. Probably even more strange that I was the one having them. Keeping it together while it felt like my life was falling apart wasn't as easy as I was trying to make it look. My family wasn't fooled, and I didn't think Bella was either.

Shaking my head from my melancholy thoughts, I tuned in to hear what Rose was saying to Bella. It might make me feel better just to hear her voice, even if she wasn't talking to me.

"It's so weird how he died from his wounds, isn't it Jasper?" Rose was shaking her head back and forth as her eyes watched the grass-covered dirt pile next to the coffin.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jasper placed a hand on Bella's forearm and jealousy flickered in me. It was ridiculous and I knew it. "Bella and I sustained injuries, but we didn't die from them. From where I was at, I could've sworn I saw him moving . . . but I was so out of it and shocked, I was probably just seeing things."

Rose rubbed her hand up and down her brother's arm in a comforting gesture. "I know. Everything happened so fast, and it was such a shock . . . nobody saw it coming. I still can't believe he died."

"He wasn't wearing his seatbelt like we were," Bella said suddenly and loudly.

Jasper and Rosalie peered down at Bella with perplexed expressions.

Fuck! Had I been sloppy? I thought no one had seen him stirring when I was with him. There was no way in hell I could've slipped up—but then again, I was in such a rage anything could've happened. I'd never had to deal with personal emotion when I was in killer mode . . . and having Bella involved was certainly bringing out my sentiments . . . and apparently making me sloppy.

Just as I was about to go out in a full-blown panic attack, my angel spoke up. "Guys, I know it was a shock, but Edward was at the scene. He's very good at what he does. If he said Mike was dead, he was dead. I'm sure you were just seeing things, Jasper. Nobody is prepared for death to come as suddenly as it did, but these things happen all the time. Michael was no different. I just thank God you weren't taken too, Jasper. Besides, I trust Edward and he's never been wrong in proclaiming someone dead. As far as I know, he's never buried anyone alive, either . . ."

Her brow scrunched up in worry as that last sentence tapered off. I supposed she was wondering whether or not I _had_ actually ever buried someone alive. Shit, even common phrases weren't appropriate to use when it came to me. "Fuck Up" should be my middle name.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Rosalie asked.

With effort, Bella smiled. "Oh yes, I'm fine. Or I will be. Let's get going. Everyone will be waiting for us at Esme's."

I watched intently as Bella walked over to Charlie, who wrapped his arm around her, and walked her to his car.

Jasper and Rose looked over toward Emmett and Alice, both tilting their heads toward their cars. I saw Emmett nod in response and turn back toward me. When they were far off, Alice spoke hysterically.

"Oh my fuckin' hell! I was literally shaking! If Jasper had seen anything . . ."

"I know, I know." I held my head in shame. "I'm so glad he didn't. He was injured Alice, his vision couldn't be trusted. And besides, Edward took care of everything. No way would any type of accusations hold up."

Emmett tried to reassure Alice, but the near miss of her new boy toy was far more unsettling than we were willing to let on. Her short, black hair was moving as she shook her head.

"That doesn't fuckin' matter Emmett! There have been too many slip ups! How many more close calls are we going to have?" Alice pivoted toward me and stood on her tip toes as she whisper-shouted in my face. "Edward, you've got to get your shit together, you hear me? This can't go on. We're tempting fate more and more the longer you keep balancing us and Bella." Her finger excessively pointed at the ground with each statement like it was written in the earth. "When push comes to shove, who are you going to end up choosing? Me and Emmett, or Bella? She needs to accept you for who you are, and if she can't . . . you need to take care of it. Or I will!"

Anger blazed across my face. Even now she'd still be okay with killing Bella like an animal. I glared down at her and noticed her stone-cold expression growing more serious by the second. Alice didn't bluff. Ever.

"You talk like it's so easy to kill someone you care about. Let's say Jasper really did see something he wasn't supposed to and decided to go to the cops. Would you kill him to protect our secret? Could you, if you were the one who had to pull the trigger?"

Alice swallowed thickly and with watery eyes, but a cold killer resolution, she answered steadily. "Yes. It would kill me, hurt me, cut me up inside, but I would do it. To keep us from being sent to federal prison and to stay alive, I would. That's the difference between me and you, Edward. I have always put us first. Get your fuckin' priorities in order."

I couldn't breathe. As much as I loved Alice, I knew—right there and then—that not even her love for Jasper would save him. And she did love him. I could see it plain as day. I wouldn't be able to tell her what I was contemplating; she wouldn't hear of it. To her, it's always been the four of us doing what we love to do. And as much as I loved Bella, I loved Alice too. She'd always been there for me, and I could tell that I was hurting her. I couldn't allow Bella to be in danger because of my mistakes. I knew Alice would kill Bella and me to save herself. And I knew I would do what I had to do to protect the only thing that mattered to me: _us_, Bella and me.

I nodded and reassured her. "All right. I got it. I didn't mean that I don't care about you guys . . . you're my family. Just understand that this is hard for me too."

Alice relaxed her shoulders, nodded as Emmett gave me a tight smile. I think he was still anxious about the whole ordeal. He was always so care free and easy going; this whole drama couldn't be easy for him either.

"Well, let's go. Everyone's already at the house and we're going be late. I can't keep my Rosie waiting on me."

My parents, being the generous people that they were, volunteered to have a gathering at their house after the funeral. My mother and some others had made food for everyone and, even though Bella had protested at first, my mother won out. She always does.

When we arrived, everyone was in the back yard mingling and talking to one another. Bella had insisted she wanted nothing dreary, as this was a way to celebrate a life that was given, instead of mourning a life that was taken.

Tables were set out all over the back yard, along with chairs and place settings. It really did look festive and if you were passing by, you would've thought it was a birthday party or something similar being thrown. My mother never did anything half-way.

Emmett had his music blaring and, after Bella told him she didn't care what type of music was put on, the sounds of rock music vibrated through the crowd. Esme frowned immediately.

"Emmet, do you really think this is appropriate?" she scolded.

"Momma C, relax!" Emmett turned his charm on. "Bella said she didn't care what I put on. Besides, everyone could use a little stress relief right now."

"I still don't think . . ."

Bella jumped in for Emmett's defense. "Mrs. Cullen, it truly is okay with me. I need something to get my head out of this whole funeral business."

She smiled at my Bella the way only moms can, and cupped her face. "All right dear. If that's what you want; I just want you to relax, okay? You're burdened with too much already." Bella thanked her as Mom walked away, setting everything up for the first round of buffet eaters.

Emmett and Alice had already deserted me to find their partners and I was left alone. I looked over at Bella and noticed she was by herself too. But I knew she didn't want to be approached by me so I walked the other way. Maybe if I gave her space, hopefully she would come back to me. There it was again: hope. Fuck.

Besides, I'd already done all that I could: I begged, I pleaded, got down on my knees and cried like a baby for her to forgive me. I did everything but give her the space she needed. She was the other half of me—she was kind enough to share her soul with me once and now that I knew what it felt like, I couldn't let it go. I hoped that she would come to me when she was ready, and I hoped that was _very_ soon. After all, they don't sell self-help books on what to do when you find out that your boyfriend is a serial killer, do they? No, she was flying solo on this one . . . and no one knew the burden she carried. Except me. I'd let her unload it all on me if she wanted. I could carry the guilt for both of us.

I walked over to my dad who was setting up extra tables. I couldn't help the sad, resigned look on my face. Carlisle took one look at me and put down the chair he was carrying.

"You okay Son?" He shook his head. "Of course not. What a stupid question to ask."

I nodded anyway, unable to respond. I'd never wanted to be a little kid more than I did at that moment. It would've been nice to be able to run to Dad and hand him my problems and ask him to fix them for me. As much as I wanted that to happen, I had gotten myself into this mess and I needed to figure a way out of it. Besides, what would Carlisle say? To say he'd be disappointed would be putting it mildly.

"Sit down here, with me. I can spare a few minutes before your mother comes looking for me." He smiled as he spoke. I knew he wanted desperately to help eradicate my problems; I could see it in his eyes. Maybe I could talk with him without telling him everything.

"Dad . . . I . . ." I sighed and tried again. "I messed up. _Badly_. And now . . ."

He nodded. "And now Bella won't talk to you, am I right?"

I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was. Carlisle could catch on to things when he wanted to.

"Son, sometimes when you've done all that you can possibly do, it's best if you just let the person decide for themselves what they truly want. I assume you've done everything you could?"

"Yes. I've . . . well, I can't exactly tell you what I did, but let's just say I gave Bella a false impression of me. I led her to believe I was this perfect man, but I'm not and now, well, she's not sure she wants to be with the real me."

Carlisle sighed. "I'm not going to tell you how you should've known better than to feed Bella a half truth about you, much less had an affair with a married woman, but I'm going to assume that there's more to this story than you're telling me. I don't want to know, it's your business. But Son, the only thing left for you to do is let her come to you when she's ready. When she does, accept her decision. Don't make this harder on either one of you. If she decides to walk, though it will kill you, let her."

He had no idea how literally he was talking about life and death here. To think that I was supposed to kill her if she chose to walk away from me . . . well, it would be no more than I deserved. To say it was ironic would be an understatement.

"Thanks Dad, really. I know you're right, I do. It's just really hard to do the right thing sometimes."

He smiled. "I know you'll be fine, Edward. You've always had a good head on your shoulders. Always been really intelligent. You'll do the right thing in the end; I know you will."

We both turned our heads when we heard Mom's voice cut across the yard—even going through Emmett's loud music, which was impressive.

Carlisle clapped me on the shoulder and stood up to go. "Well Son, your mother calls. If you need me, I'm always here for you, you know this. You can always tell me anything, and no matter what, I'd never turn my back on you. You're my son, and a father always looks after his son."

I looked into his wise, caring eyes and, at that moment, I wished I could unburden myself to him. Instead, I nodded my head and gave him a smile. "Thanks Dad, really. You'd better go before Mom comes looking for you with the big fork from the grill."

We both chuckled because those weren't empty words. Esme could be forceful when she wanted to be, pointy objects or no.

I was left alone again to ponder the wise words of my father. There really was nothing more I could do for Bella . . . nothing more I could offer her. She would have to accept me for who I was trying to be, and most importantly, accept me for who I was. That part of me would always be with me, even if I stopped killing for her.

She'd have to be able to live with a killer . . . and not only that, she'd have to trust a killer with her life—literally. Knowing at any moment her life could be gone in an instant in my hands . . . . I shuddered at the thought. Hell, I'm not even sure I would trust me, and I _knew_ I would never hurt Bella.

I looked up from the napkin that I was shredding with my fingers to catch Bella's eyes on me. I wondered how long her gaze had been on me. Her deep, chocolate eyes were pensive. She didn't seem mad, disappointed or scared even, just deep in thought. I wanted to go to her, to talk with her, to explain to her that she could trust me. Hell, even just to say to her that I needed her, but I couldn't. As hard as it was for me, I stayed in my seat. She needed to come to me when she was ready and I hoped it would be soon.

Just then, the beginning of the next song came out over the loud speakers. Emmett was paying no attention to what songs were coming out. He was busy sexing it up with Rosalie. _Monster_ was the very description of what I felt like at this moment. With Bella still staring at me, I mouthed the words to her hoping she could hear my desperation.

_The secret side of me_  
_I never let you see_  
_I keep it caged_  
_But I can't control it_

I was torn. She didn't need to be with someone like me. In fact, it would be better if she wasn't with me. She might even be happier if she found a "normal" guy . . . one that wouldn't leave her scarred forever. My selfishness was astounding because I didn't want her to ever go away; I needed her, wanted her. Maybe, just maybe, she could save me.

_Hiding under the bed_  
_In my body, in my head_  
_Why won't somebody come and save me from this?_  
_Make it end!_

Could I do it though? Could I really live a "normal" life? The concept was still so foreign to me, but I knew I could do it for her. Staring at her now, seeing how fragile she looked in her black dress, I couldn't help but feel like a monster for even thinking about taking her away from what she knew and bringing her into my world.

You see, that was what monsters did. They scared people, they enjoyed the feeling of hurting people, that was why they're called monsters. And Bella . . . well, she was scared of _me_. I didn't enjoy it, but knowing that I frightened her made me feel as though I was more despicable than a monster, and I knew, deep in my heart I was.

I was a murderer.

_My secret side I keep_  
_Hid under lock and key_  
_I keep it caged_  
_But I can't control it_  
_Cause if I let him out_  
_He'll tear me up_  
_And break me down_  
_Why won't somebody come and save me from this?_  
_Make it end!_

I was sure I would've tried to keep what I had done a secret. As bad as it sounds, I was not sure I would've told Bella. It was a part of me that I wished I could kill, which was really ironic. Nothing I could do would ever erase my past, or the lives I had taken. This monster in me was eating me alive from the inside out. I never would've believed it, but Bella brought out the good in me. I didn't think I had any good left, but she proved me wrong. It didn't matter though, my soul had already been sold to the devil, and no amount of Bella would bring that back. She had to only share hers with me. Would I seal that fate for her as well if she comes with me? Dear God, I hoped not.

_It's hiding in the dark_  
_It's teeth are razor sharp_  
_There's no escape for me_  
_It wants my soul,_  
_It wants my heart_  
_No one can hear me scream_  
_Maybe it's just a dream_  
_Or maybe it's inside of me_  
_Stop this monster!_

Just when I couldn't take anymore of my own thoughts, or of Bella staring at me, obviously debating about coming to me, I felt hands on my shoulders. I knew by the way Bella stiffened that it was Emmett and Alice. The fear I saw in her eyes was unmistakable and I was kind of glad it wasn't geared at me. Regardless, I had known Emmett and Alice since we were kids . . . they were like my brother and sister. It hurt to know she would never trust them. And if she never trusted them, how could she ever trust me?

Alice's hand slid down from my shoulder to my hand in my lap. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Bella's. They grew even rounder than they were before. When I felt the gun in my hand, I knew why. Her eyes flicked up to me again, the fear replacing the indecision in her eyes. Come to me and try to stop me, or run and tell someone else.

Emmett came down and whispered in my ear. When he told me Jacob was out front waiting for me, I knew I couldn't stay here. He wasn't happy with our little arrangement anymore. With sorrow and regret, I got up from the table, discreetly tucking the gun into my pants. Bella took one more look at me and then turned away, her back to be the last thing I saw of her as I strode away.

I sighed and walked out front with Alice to my right and Emmett to my left. This was who I was. This was who I'd always been. I knew Bella was too good for me and she would never approve. But I also knew that for her, I'd be willing to try to change. I would. Just for her.

* * *

_He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a__monster__. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.—_Friedrich Nietzsche

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended_  
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	18. 17 Deadly Silent

**Wicked Angel**

**17. Deadly Silent**

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_We seek,strike,destroy__  
__Like tigers born to kill__  
__For those who just can't understand__  
__We'll let you know the fucking deal__  
__You won't hear us when were coming..._

—Tiger Army

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Jacob Black is a lot of things, but intelligent didn't seem to fit his very drunk persona. He had driven his buddy Paul's truck, whose feet were dangling out of the passenger side, to the wake of Mike Newton. Jacob held a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a gun in the other as he lounged lazily in the back of the truck.

"Well, what a surprise you'd be at this wake." Jake took a swig of his liquor, splashing some down the side of his shirt. "You know, I thought about our little deal some," he continued, waving the gun around, "and Paul and I agree that it isn't in my best interest to agree to it."

My eyes roamed to Paul who held the black brief case up and tapped a gun against it. "This is only the beginning to the amount of money we could make with you on our side."

My teeth gritted and Alice placed her palm on my forearm to stop me from ripping their heads off. Emmett crossed his arms angrily and pivoted my direction.

"Explain," Emmett demanded.

"I gave Jacob a million to ponder an agreement that no one kills Bella. Ever. If he agreed, then I would give him another million," I explained, showing no emotion for any of them to feed off of.

"You what?" Emmett exclaimed.

"Told him the hit was off," I repeated calmly.

"True," Jacob admitted as I turned back to him. "But I have made my decision. I'm keeping the million from the loss of Mike's money, but I'm refusing the rest because I think Bella's death will lead you back to the road you were previously on. Bella makes you . . . _sentimental_. It's absolutely sick and I think if you learn your lesson with this one, you'll never get close to a target again."

I thought Alice and Emmett would stand up for me, but neither of them did. They were both deadly silent. Rage boiled within me like a venomous bubble, threatening to explode and take them all down with the smothering tide.

"What's going on?" It was the voice of my angel, Bella.

I whipped around to see her stomping toward us in her high heels as they dug into the grass.

"Bella, go back inside," I ordered sternly.

"No," she snapped and continued to march forward. "I want to know what is so important that these idiots from the reservation have to come and disrupt my husband's wake!"

"They're going," I whispered in a lethal voice. My head turned back to Jacob and Paul. "Aren't you?"

Jacob jumped down from the tailgate and splashed more liquor down his arm as he did. "Oh, I don't think so. We're here to apologize for your husband's death. Right, Paul? _We're so sorry_."

Paul nodded in faux sympathy.

"That's it, assholes! Get the hell out of here before I—"

"Before you what, Cullen? Kill us?" Jacob sneered.

"How about before I stick my heel up your ass," Bella snapped back crossly. "I want you far away from here in the next sixty seconds or I'll have my father escort you away."

"OooO!" Paul waved his gun. "We're so scared of the . . . _sheriff_!"

Bella's face began to turn crimson as Jacob came forward and ran his finger down her jaw line. I was literally vibrating from the insane fury that raced down my veins.

"Don't touch her!" My voice had lowered to that of a soundless predator.

Bella actually stepped back and closer to me.

"Or you'll do what?" Jacob took another step forward and raised his hand to touch her again.

I snapped—no one touched _my _Bella—and lunged for Jacob, forgetting his gun completely. I threw a few punches that bloodied Jacob's face while he went for my stomach. I bent over with the pain but kneed him right in the groin when he came closer. He doubled over and winced. Finally, I threw myself at him and his back hit hard against the earth. The gun went off and we broke apart as if it was an explosion instead of a gunshot between us. We both patted ourselves to check for damage, but neither of us were hurt.

Screams erupted like cawing birds as the guests of the wake began to scatter from the backyard.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Jacob chanted along with Paul.

As guests began to rampage out of the backyard of Esme's, all was lost in insane confusion. Bella grabbed for me and I held on to her as if she were my saving grace. And she was. But suddenly, she was ripped away from me as the truck Jacob and Paul were in started and squealed tires down the road.

Panic exploded in me as I rose to my feet and began to call out for Bella. I looked everywhere for her but she was gone like smoke upon the wind. Screaming for her over and over and over, Alice finally pointed in the distance to the face of an angel crying, collapsing into herself in pain as my father drove her away from me. Charlie dove into his car to pursue the truck Paul was driving, but they were long gone.

"NOOOO!" I fell to my knees for a few seconds before I could gain my mind back. I stood and took off toward my truck, my feet pounding against the sidewalk. My key shoved hard into the lock as I yanked my door open and hopped inside. The key turned with grace as the truck boomed alive. I slammed the gear into first, flying over the parking block, refusing to waste time going backward, and sped toward my father's vehicle where I knew my Bella would be. Had she been shot?

Sirens came to life from all different directions as they flew past me, toward the wake of Mike fucking Newton, a pussy long forgotten. There were two things in my heart: hate and love. I loved Bella. I hated Jacob. Someone was going to die and soon, and I truly hoped it wasn't Bella, or there would be a lot more death to hit the small town of Forks. I hit each gear as the RPM's rose into the red on my dash.

In the distance, I saw Carlisle's silver car pull up to the four-way stop. There were three directions he could go. If he turned left, he'd be going to Cullen Funeral Home. If he turned right, the police station, and if he went straight, he'd be on his way to the hospital. This was the moment of uncertainty, the moment where I decided which way to turn myself.

Carlisle went straight. He fucking went straight. My heart grated through my ribs and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I didn't even stop at the four-way, causing two people to slam their brakes on to prevent an accident. It didn't matter, I'd run them over anyway. In the distance, I could hear police sirens erupting.

The silver car pulled into the ambulance lane outside the emergency room doors as several people rushed out to Bella. She looked more pale than normal and a trail of blood was leaking down her elbow and splashing onto the ground. I gulped and drove my truck right onto the sidewalk and over the flowers and ferns growing there. I raced in behind Carlisle and put my hand on his shoulder to spin him around.

"What's going on? Was she shot?" I said breathlessly.

His grey eyes turned heartrending as he glanced toward the ground and nodded. "She'll be okay, Son, but I'm not sure how much damage there truly is. Let's pray that she makes it through this with no lasting side effects."

Tears sprang from my eyes as Carlisle brought me into a huge hug. He'd never seen me cry before. Never. At that moment, he knew exactly what Bella was to me . . . how much I loved her.

I heard the doctor in the distance saying "The patient's hemoglobin is six point eight! I need two uncrossed matched units and let's get her typed and crossed for four more, stat!"

I started to move toward the area where they were working on her. Carlisle reached out and stopped me.

"Son, you can't go back there. The doctors need space to work on her. Let them do their job." Carlisle looked at me sternly and pointed toward the outside door. "You really need to get your truck off the lawn, too. I don't think making a bad impression around Bella's father will help matters much, and I'm sure he'll be here in a few moments."

"Sometimes I hate it when you say reasonable shit," I grumbled.

Carlisle frowned at my bad language, but he knew that I cared for him, even if I showed it in odd ways.

I could hear the sirens from Sheriff Swan's cruiser as I moved my truck to an actual parking space. I walked back over to the emergency room; even if I couldn't see Bella there was no way in hell I was leaving until I knew she was okay.

Charlie rushed out of his cruiser and straight to the nurse's desk. "My daughter, Isabella Newton, is she okay?" he asked frantically. I watched as Carlisle approached him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. I couldn't make out exactly what was being said, but I knew he was telling Charlie the same thing he told me.

"How was she even shot?" Charlie reacted louder than I had ever witnessed before. I never heard him raise his voice.

"I'm sorry." I decided to step forward to offer some sort of explanation.

Charlie and Carlisle both looked at me expectantly. "Jacob showed up. He was drinking . . . and he got out of line with Bella. I tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn't listen. Somehow we started to fight, and the next thing I remember was a gunshot." I hoped that was good enough. I had enough of a war to fight with Jacob Black. I didn't need to add to it by warring with the Forks' Police force or becoming a snitch. I'd have a price tag over my head, and then I would be six feet under, unable to protect Bella.

I'd have to take care of Jacob another way. I'd have to pull some fucking rabbit out of my hat to keep him away from Bella. Even if that meant I kept "working" for him.

Although these lies would be useless if Bella told her father Jacob was swinging a gun around when she stalked over to us. I had a sneaking suspicion that wouldn't be a problem. Not after she defended me at the funeral and not if she still cared for me.

"Jacob Black?" Charlie questioned. "That was who was in that truck?"

I simply nodded.

Charlie looked deep in thought over what I told him. I did know that he would pull out all the stops to find out what he needed to solve the puzzle of his daughter being shot.

I paced in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity as we all waited to find out how Bella was doing. I couldn't control the urges to run my hands through my hair or rub my cleanly shaven face.

"You don't need to stick around," Charlie said to me and my father, his foot tapping continuously.

"I would like to know that she is okay," I told him. I couldn't leave. My feet wouldn't carry me away from her, even if I wanted to.

"Why don't I go get some coffee for everyone," my father suggested.

"Thanks, Carlisle. I'd appreciate it," Charlie told him. His foot stopped tapping momentarily.

Charlie asked me a few more questions about what happened. He wanted to know who else was with us when it happened. There were only so many lies I could tell. I told him Alice and Emmett. I wasn't worried about them having a problem lying to the sheriff and I made a mental note to send the "story" to all of them via our old cabin in the woods.

He told me he would want to speak to them about what they saw. I wouldn't doubt that when he left to go to the bathroom it was to call the station to have them tracked down for questioning. When he was in the bathroom inconspicuously calling the police station, I was texting everyone.

_Gingerbread House, ASAP, _I typed in. It was code-speak for "We need to meet at the cabin in the woods."

Rosalie and Jasper showed up, frantic to find out what happened with Bella.

"I can't believe this happened to Bella! She has been through so much!" Rosalie exclaimed. "Those are some real nice friends you have, Cullen," she added with mock sincerity.

"I am nothing like Jacob Black and those mutts on the reservation!" I tried to defend myself. Truth was if I had never been friends with Jacob Black, Bella would never have been shot. But chances are I would never have crossed paths with Bella otherwise.

"No? You weren't stumbling out of The Nest a few nights ago like the emo asshole you are?" she spat at me.

"You," I said and pointed my finger in her face, "have no idea what my life is like!"

"Hey!" Jasper yelled over us before Rosalie could come back at me. "You two, knock it off! Now is not the time for your arguing!" He was a man of few words, but for some reason when he spoke people tended to listen. Guess that was one of the reasons he made such a good bartender.

Rosalie immediately backed off and we went back to pretending that the other didn't exist. I had no idea how Emmett put up with her bitchy attitude.

"I'm looking for the family members for Isabella Newton?" a doctor announced upon entering the small room we were waiting impatiently in.

"Ye—" I began, but then remembered I was nothing to her. I was merely the man that helped her bury her husband today in the eyes of everyone else.

Charlie shot me a glance before he turned to the doctor. "I am her father. How is she?" he asked.

I couldn't control the urge I had to walk forward and hear the news. I needed to know she was okay.

"Your daughter was very fortunate. The bullet hit her right shoulder. No major nerves were hit, so she should regain full function of her arm. She did lose a lot of blood due to the bullet hitting her axillary artery. We repaired the artery in surgery and she is in recovery now. She was given six units of blood. She may require some physical therapy, but all in all she is very lucky."

"Can I see her?" Charlie asked.

"One at a time," the doctor said with a pointed look in my direction. I knew I wasn't doing a great job of hiding my feelings for her.

"Thank you, doctor," Charlie said graciously and shook the man's hand. I wanted to shake his hand too. Never in my life had I wanted to thank another human being more than I wanted to thank him for saving Bella's life.

"Charlie, please let her know we are here, and if she is up for visitors we would love to see her," Rosalie told Charlie before he followed the doctor with a nod.

"I'm going in next," I demanded toward Rosalie.

"Whatever," she said and rolled her eyes. She looked down and began to type away on her phone, her nails clicking against the glass screen before mumbling to herself, "If she even wants to see you."

I chose to ignore her attempt to stir a reaction out of me and walked out in the hallway because I had already counted the number of tiles on the ceiling, and how many steps it took to pace the room each way and I needed a change of scenery while I awaited my turn to see my Bella. It wasn't long before Charlie began walking back towards us. I moved forward in anticipation. I wanted to hear him tell me Bella was waiting for me—that I could finally see for myself that she was okay.

"Can I go see her now?" I asked impatiently.

"I'm sorry, Edward. She said you should just go home and she appreciates your concern, but she said she isn't _ready_ to see you." Charlie seemed confused by the way he said "ready."

_Ready_. That word gave me a glimmer of hope. It meant that at some point she would see me. I tried not to let my face show my emotions. As far as Charlie was concerned I was no one. Who was I to be here, so upset over what had happened?

"I know it must have been very upsetting for you to see her put in danger by your frie— Jacob Black," Charlie corrected himself. "Then to see her shot out of nowhere . . . but right now Bella just wants her family and friends to support her right now." Charlie placed his hand out to shake mine.

I hesitated for a second. "I understand," I surrendered and shook his hand. "Please tell Bella I'm thinking of her."

Charlie nodded at me, as I turned on my heel to leave the hospital. I had to make sure Bella would be safe. Protect her somehow without letting her know I was around.

If it weren't for the voice constantly nagging me in the back of my mind telling me to go to Jacob, I may have never left the hospital. But I had to make sure he would back the fuck off of Bella. I had to make sure that whatever happened, it didn't cause a war because the war wouldn't last long, it wouldn't be pretty, and I feared no one would get out alive. All in all, I also had to make sure the others were aware of how far I'd go to protect her.

I made it a point not to look back in the waiting room. The last thing I needed was to see some smug ass smirk on Rosalie's face upon my departure.

Carlisle rushed out after me. "Edward!" he called out. I stopped but didn't turn around to face him. "What happened?" he asked and came to stand in front of me.

"She doesn't want to see me." My voice held no emotion. I was tired of trying to hide it, so I just let the numbness I was used to take over.

I began to walk forward and I could hear Carlisle trying to keep up with my fast pace. "Where are you going?" he asked as we stepped out into the night.

"There is something I need to take care of," I said while walking toward my truck which was parked so crooked the spot next to me remained empty.

"Edward, don't do anything . . . reckless," he cautioned. I looked at the ground as my hand lingered on the handle of my truck. I finally looked up at him and saw how genuine he was. He was worried for me, his son.

"I won't do anything stupid," I lied. "Thanks for everything." I opened the truck door and hopped in.

I jerked the truck out of the parking place with a screech as I sped toward the forest to remind them all of who the real killer was. I was beginning to think that giving Jacob that money was a mistake. It gave him a big head and made him feel more powerful than he actually was. I was going to change that right fucking now. In a matter of minutes I pulled my truck into the woods, out of sight of passer bys. Everyone's vehicle was already there. When I jumped out of the truck the smoke from the unsettled dirt swirled around my ankles. I didn't bother to conceal my weapon as I made my way through the woods.

I pounded three times on the door to the cabin when I had walked a quarter mile. Jacob came to the door, still smelling of Jack. I immediately grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the wall, my arm partially cutting off his air supply.

"Let me remind you of something Jake, whatever this," I said waving my gun around, "operation is we have going, I'm in charge. I say what happens. I say who lives. I say who dies. I suggest you keep the million I offered to repay for the death of Mike Newton, and you back the _fuck_ off Bella."

Alice made a little _ahem_ noise behind me.

"And you better pay Emmett and Alice, too!" I ordered.

"Hell yes!" Emmett responded jovially, like I wasn't holding Jacob against the wall at all. "That's an even larger paycheck."

Jacob struggled against me and I put more pressure on his windpipe. "I won't hesitate to end you if you ever threaten me or Bella again. Are we clear?" The threat was for Alice and Emmett too, and I was sure they knew that.

Jake nodded his head in agreement so I released him. He sunk to the ground coughing uncontrollably as he struggled for air.

"There is no reason to kill Bella now," I said ignoring the pain he was in and turning to face Alice and Emmett. I casually took a seat on the dusty old sofa with springs exposed in some places. I laid my gun on the rotted coffee table that was littered with beer bottles and cigarette ash. The boys at the reservation had been partying here again.

"Disgusting," I muttered and looked up at the three of them. "I'm not going to stop doing my_job._No money was lost over Newton. And if Bella becomes a threat to our operation, I have no problem ending her," I lied, looking straight into Jacob's eyes. "No more jobs in town. It's too risky." Jake finally pulled himself to his feet as he rubbed at the angry red marks on his throat from my arm being pressed against his windpipe. "And I think we should lie low for a bit, there's too much attention right now. Alice, call when it's safe to start hits again. I have a feeling it'll be a while." I glared up at her and she got the hint. No more hits until I give the go ahead. The little pixie owed me that much.

I stood up to leave, grabbed my gun, and tucked it in my pants. I walked over to Jacob and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Are we clear?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Crystal." He smiled at me. I wasn't sure if he was sincere, but I sure as hell didn't trust him anymore. I knew to keep my enemies close.

"Good. Now let's talk about our story to the cops," I said. "Tell the truth about everything, except Jacob carrying a gun. No one knows who had the gun or where the shot came from. Okay?"

They all nodded in agreement. "How is she?" Alice asked, surprising me that she actually cared.

"She's stable and alive," I replied while standing. "I'm going back to the hospital and I'll let you know any information I can about their investigation." My eyes darted to Jacob." You did shoot the sheriff's daughter, moron." I walked toward the door. "Call me the next time you need me, and remember that we won't have this conversation next time—I'll just kill you," I added over my shoulder as I walked out of the cabin, not bothering to shut the door.

I wasn't going to kill anyone every again, unless it was to protect Bella from Jacob Black. But Jake didn't need to know that—actually, none of them needed to know. There were plenty of ways to scare people off without actually killing them. Jake would never have to know if they were smart enough to disappear with my stellar skills of scaring people shitless. It was better than killing them and it would buy me time to figure out a way out of this mess.

I wasn't sure how long I could convince Alice to lie to Jake about not being safe enough to kill, but even a few weeks would help.

I went to the hospital everyday to check on Bella. I never tried to see her again; I doubt she even knew I was there. I just had to make sure she was okay. In a few days time, she was released. I watched from across the street of the hospital as they wheeled her out to her father's awaiting cruiser, her arm in a sling. She stood up from the wheelchair with the help of Charlie and gingerly sat in the front seat. My heart raced when I saw her. I was so relieved she was on her feet, even if she was a bit weak.

There was never a day that went by where I didn't see her. I made sure she never knew though. She never went back to the house she shared with Mike. It was only a matter of days before a "for sale" sign was staked in the front yard.

Days turned into weeks, and I started to wonder if we would ever find our way back to each other. I was trying to give her the space she needed as I fought the demons inside myself. Both were equally daunting tasks.

Every time I watched her, I ached to call out her name. To touch her. Fuck, I would have settled to be close enough to smell her strawberry scent.

Getting Jake off my back while he urged me to re-open shop was a battle I fought every day. I had to act like the calculated cold prick he expected me to be while finding reason after reason to not take all the jobs he came to me with. Alice helped. Not solely for my benefit. She knew I was too close to the last case to work effectively, actually agreeing that it was indeed too risky to take on hits. I knew I couldn't fool them forever. I just had no fucking clue what else to do.

Essentially if I wanted out, I would have to murder my best friends or let them kill me. Neither was an option I found appealing. I was stuck in limbo, hoping for plan C to present itself. It would be like a fucking light bulb. Just go off solving all the problems, freeing me to be a man worthy of Bella's love.

Finally, Alice agreed on a hit—to my dismay—and sent me along my merry little way. I didn't kill, I actually sat down at the table my target was sitting at in a restaurant and explained what I had been hired to do. He was rich enough that he disappeared all on his own. When I came back to Forks, Alice and Emmett were packing to go back to the carnival. Alice gave me an evil look and I knew she saw what I had done, but she kept her mouth shut which I appreciated greatly.

"We have to go back to work for a couple of weeks, but we'll be back in Forks soon," Emmett explained when I raised eyebrows at their packing.

"Yeah," Alice agreed. "Don't do anything stupid while we're gone."

"You'd know if I was going to," I replied dryly.

Alice had an expression on her face I couldn't quite place when she hugged me goodbye. Emmett shook my hand and patted me on my back happily. "See you soon, Bro."

Emmett hauled both of their bags over his shoulder and I opened the door for them, watching them leave me here alone. Because that was what I had become: truly alone.

Several days later I sat inconspicuously on a park bench reading the newspaper with my baseball cap pulled tightly over my unruly hair, hiding my face behind the newspaper so I wouldn't be recognized. I knew Bella came here every day after work for a jog.

I heard her feet against the pavement as she jogged closer to me; I peeked out over the newspaper to see her go past me. She wasn't running fast, it was a slow and steady jog. I just wanted to study her features more closely. I committed every detail I could to memory each time she passed me. The tight black Lycra pants, the short tank top that held her breasts firmly in place as her body bounced with each stride, the way her cheeks had sunken in, and the black circles around her eyes. Her eyes that were once full of fire were dull.

It didn't take a genius to know she wasn't sleeping, was losing weight, and had lost the spark she once had. I heard people talk about her in town; about how hard she was taking the death of her husband. It made me sick to hear them talk about how upset she was over that prick's death.

After her third lap around, she stopped just a few inches short of the bench I sat on. She bent down and tied her shoelace. I shifted uncomfortably, hoping she wouldn't find out I was watching her. The last thing I needed was to make her think I was some stalker and give her more of a reason to fear me.

_Beep, Beep, Beep._

Fuck! Figures I would get a page at the worst possible time. I struggled to silence the offending technology while I kept my face hidden. I reached in my pocket and began squeezing the sides of the small black box and could literally feel Bella's eyes on me.

Once she stood up, she walked away while squirting some water into her mouth.

_Too fucking close, Cullen_. I rose to my feet and threw away the newspaper I hadn't read one line of, and checked my pager. It was no surprise to me that it was a coroner call.

I quickly called to get the information. Mr. Walsh was found dead on arrival when his neighbor called police after a week's worth of newspapers piled up on his lawn. Mr. Walsh was well known in the town. Not for anything other than being pitied. He had no wife, no kids, no siblings. He was lonely and everyone felt sorry for him. Not sorry enough to notice he had been literally rotting in his modest two bedroom home.

It was the first time I ever got freaked out by a death. Not because of the foul smell upon entering, or the sight of the decaying body, but because that could easily be me in fifty or sixty years.

I could die in my lazy boy with molding food and a flickering television and no one would give two shits. No, the people that eventually found me and were forced to deal with the task of cleaning up the mess, they would care. Only because they would be completely disgusted like most of the people on the scene were.

I put on a mask to try and cover up the odor swirling around my nostrils. When I walked closer to inspect the body, I had to hold back the urge to gag.

His frail body was bloated and discolored to a greenish tint. Red streaks covered him from the blood that had hemolyzed. His entire face was swollen like a blow fish, his tongue protruding. This wasn't going to be an easy transfer. His skin was fragile and would lead to skin slippage.

I couldn't handle the sight or smell much longer. I had to get some fresh air. I threw off the mask as soon as the cold Washington air hit my face.

That was when I saw Charlie. He looked at me with surprise, because I had never reacted that way to a crime scene. His face was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. I'd never seen him look so . . . bad.

"Glad to run into you out here, Cullen. I wanted to talk to you," said Charlie.

My eyebrows came together as I waited for him to continue.

Charlie pulled his hat off his head and began to handle it nervously. "Listen . . . Edward. I think you need to go see Bella."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You want me to see Bella?"

"Yes." His eyes shot down to the ground. "She's been saying your name in her sleep at night." His eyes darted back up to my face. "There was something going on between you two, wasn't there?"

I nodded, sheepish.

"I don't care what that means, as long as you can bring the life back into my daughter."

"I don't think she wants me around, Charlie," I whispered softly. "I made a big mistake and I'm afraid she'll never forgive me."

"Try," he begged. "I'm not sure if I like the idea of you being with my daughter, but if it makes her smile again I'd accept just about anything she wanted . . . even if it was you."

"I'll . . . try. But I can't promise anything." Hope exploded in me, but fear did too.

Charlie nodded and walked past me and into the house.

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_There are times when silence has the loudest voice._—Leroy Brownlow

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**A/N:** Thank you Lisa for Beta-ing this chapter and Scottishrose1028 for your suggestions on parts of this chapter.

Sorry for the HUGE delay in this chapter-between real life, writing other stories, vacations, summer time, and head wounds (no, we aren't kidding), we have been really busy. We promise to never take this long again! Thank you for sticking with Wicked Angel. :)

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended


	19. 18 Blazing Suns

**Wicked Angel**

**18. Blazing Suns**

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_I wonder if the things I did were just to be different__  
__To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence__  
__And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation__  
__Here and now I'll express, my situation _

—Shinedown

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Stalking: to pursue stealthily. Stealthy: acting with quiet, caution, and secrecy, intended to avoid notice. That was what I had become. A stalker; going through life alone with secrets weighing me down. After my little talk with Charlie I began to notice more and more symptoms of a person who was walking through life on a day-by-day basis, barely able to grasp the reality of their life whenever I watched Bella. She had yet to contact me and I was unsure how I was going to approach her without making her run away from me screaming. Her arm had finally healed, but her heart was still broken. I could see the signs—I would know, I was also shattered inside.

It was a Thursday when everything changed. Bella had left work a little early and headed to the nearest gas station/convenience store, where I had incidentally been at to pick up a gallon of milk for Esme. It was the first time I had _not_ been following her and, as silly as it sounded, I saw it as a sign. It seemed as if Bella was trying to rid herself of all reminders of her old life, but I knew I still haunted her in her dreams . . . or were they nightmares?

As I was exiting the store, I saw a brand new black Mercedes pull up to one of the gas pumps. Out of habit, I made myself scarce as I watched from the shadows of the store. Bella, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, flung her door open just as a car was passing. It was almost ripped off its hinges. My heart skipped a beat as I watched her slam the door shut again to let the car pass. After she opened the door again, her phone dropped to the ground and broke into two pieces. Her hand yanked several strands of hair away from her face as she bent down, flustered, and picked the pieces of her phone off the oil-stained ground. She glanced down toward her palm and closed her eyes, as if saying a prayer for the dead cell phone. I made a mental note to send her a new phone anonymously.

Next, she circled around her car and stumbled once before she caught herself on the hood, and then fumbled in her back pockets for several seconds looking for something, probably her debit card. Finally, she turned toward her car and attempted to open the back door, but it didn't budge. She yanked on it again before she pulled the keys from her front pocket and tried to unlock the doors. The lights flashed and she pulled on the door again. Still, it didn't budge. At that moment, I wanted to go to her and help her calm down as she became more and more flustered . . . but I didn't think she was ready. I wasn't ready, either . . . or I wasn't ready to be rejected again.

As I thought about the moments in our past, the first time we made passionate love, down to our secret relationship, I was suddenly pulled out of them due to Bella's car alarm blaring. She frantically pushed all kinds of buttons on her car remote, but was unable to turn the alarm off for a whole minute. Again, she pulled stray hairs away from her face and tucked it behind her ears before she wiped her hand over her face, obviously aggravated. Finally, she was able to open the back door where she found her purse and ultimately her debit card to pay for gas.

Bella seemed prone to accidents and trouble, but I had never seen anything like this. She swiped her card seven times before it finally accepted and, as she turned to put the nozzle in her gas tank, the door was closed. She struggled to open it one-handed for several long moments but finally she stopped, pivoted around very slowly, and put the gas nozzle back. She put both of her hands on the pump and began to bang on it, like she was beating the living hell out of it. She began screaming and crying and yelling angry insults that I couldn't understand. A crowd was beginning to form around her as she had her mental breakdown.

I had had it. I wasn't going to stay in the shadows any longer to watch Bella struggle. I marched toward her and placed the milk on the ground. She still hadn't noticed me. Carefully, I put my hands over her fists and she immediately stopped, though her forehead stayed pressed against the gas pump as she shook with sobs.

"Bella?" I whispered so softly I wasn't sure she heard me.

She lifted her head and her eyes shot to mine, red and swimming with salty tears. "Edward?" she whispered just as quietly.

"Let me help you," I offered, because I had no idea what else to say. It seemed smart at the time.

Her still hands began to beat against the machine again as she cried even louder, incoherent words escaping her. "Of course . . ." Sobs. "He'd show up . . ." More sobs. "Stupid . . ." She hit the pump harder. "CAR!" she finally shouted and turned toward me, falling into my arms and beginning to pound on my chest with a ferocity I didn't know she had in her. "You!" she sobbed out. "You were supposed to be my saving grace!" She pounded on my chest even harder, and I let her. She needed to get it out and I'd let her.

Curious bystanders at Stan's Gas Station only grew in number. As I held a screaming, sobbing, upset Bella in my arms, I glared with the heat of a million blazing suns over her head at all the people surrounding us. Some turned away and continued with their own business, but not all of them. When Bella quit beating on me, she collapsed into my body and gripped me tighter and tighter, her tears soaking my shirt. As her shaking body molded with mine, I finally shouted over her head at everyone around us.

"Hey jackasses, the show's over! Go somewhere else or I'll put you somewhere else." My threat was real and it resonated in my voice. That got everyone's attention and they all turned away.

"You said you loved me," Bella whispered into my chest.

My hands got lost in her messy ponytail as I pulled her even closer to me. "And I still love you, with all my heart. I didn't lie about that." She hugged me closer, her shaking dissolving. "I'll never lie to you again," I breathed into her hair.

With one hand I pulled open the passenger side door of her car and helped her into it. I kneeled in front of her as her legs hung out the side. With my thumbs, I wiped away her tears and gently tucked her hair behind her ears. Her eyes continued to look toward the ground and I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to see the emotion in her eyes, the windows to her soul, so I lifted her chin gently so she would have to look at me or close her eyes. She blinked furiously as tears leaked down her cheeks, but she at least saw me.

"I've missed you every day you've been gone," Bella admitted quietly. "And I'm not sure how I feel about that. I saw what you did to Mike, I heard you confess what you are . . . and still, I can't seem to get you out of my damn head. Every night I see you in my dreams. Every morning I wake up hoping you'll be there with me." She took a deep breath and released it slowly.

"Bella," I whispered and held her cheek in my palm. "You deserve someone great and wonderful, someone who will treat you right, someone you can marry and will give you the children you so desperately want." This time I looked down. "And I can't explain to you how much I want to be that man. You make me want to change. You make me want to be a better man."

"How?" she choked. "How do I know you aren't lying to me?"

My eyes shot to hers, hope rising in me. "You don't," I admitted. "But if you gave me a chance, I'd prove it to you every day and night for the rest of my life. I'd show you that I could be the man you deserve."

She sighed. "I don't know . . ."

"Please," I begged. "I'd do anything. _Anything_."

Bella ran a hand down my face and this time she removed tears from my eyes. Tears that I would shed for the rest of my life if she said no.

"Okay," she relented softly.

"Okay?" I repeated, unsure.

"Okay. Yes. I'll let you prove to me you will be different."

"How?" My heart thudded rapidly, unsure if this was real or not.

"Take me out on a date Saturday," she finally said after a moment's pause.

"Saturday." I smiled up at her and she smiled back through the tears.

My palms cupped the sides of her face as I leaned forward and kissed her softly, my lips moving slowly and uncertainly against hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me deeper, her tongue licking around my bottom lip before I pulled away gently and looked into her eyes. She was going to give me a second chance, one I wholeheartedly didn't deserve. I placed one more sweet kiss on her lips before I rose.

"Let me pump your gas," I offered and she nodded with her tiny smile still in place. "So why a Mercedes?"

"Michael hated this car." She smiled more broadly.

I pumped the gas for her, secretly using my own debit card. It was a tiny price to pay for her allowing a date with me.

When I stopped by the funeral home to give Esme her milk later, I set it on the counter and said, "Sorry, it might be a little warm." Then I kissed her on her cheek and almost skipped out of the kitchen and passed Dad. "She's giving me a second chance," I told him merrily and his smile grew several miles wide.

I wanted Bella to know how much she meant to me. How much I wanted to change for her. There were three days until the big date and I intended Bella to know I was thinking of her every second of those three days.

I ran into the cell phone store and purchased a new phone for Bella. I planned on having it delivered to her apartment that evening along with some flowers. I called the florist and arranged to have flowers sent to Bella's house before they closed that evening, along with the new phone. But I didn't stop there. I had flowers waiting for her when she arrived home on Friday from work, and some for Saturday morning, too.

That evening an arrangement of purple hyacinth was sent to Bella's apartment with the simple message of, "_In hopes of forgiveness. Love, Edward_." Friday she received hibiscus: "_For your beauty. Love, Edward._" Saturday morning, apple blossoms: "_My promise to become the man you deserve. Love, Edward._"

Later that evening, my phone chirped with a new message from Bella.

_The flowers are beautiful. Thank you so much. By the way, how did you know where I moved?_

Shit, that was not something I want to discuss with her over a text message.

_Saturday, I'll answer any and all questions you have for me. _

My jovial mood did not go unnoticed. My mom commented on how happy I was. She was right; I was fucking happy. Bella spoke to me. We shared a kiss. She told me to take her out Saturday night. There was nothing that could erase the smile off my lips.

The closer Saturday got, the more my excitement turned into anxiety. Edward Cullen did not get fucking nervous, or jittery, or even fucking jumpy. But I was. My stomach felt like it took up residence in my throat and my hands were clammy. All of it over a girl. I never felt this way, and most especially not over a girl. This wasn't just any girl though. This girl . . . she owned me. She changed me. She wasn't my Bella, I was Bella's Edward.

On Saturday morning I made my way over to my parents' house. I couldn't just take Bella out to some generic dinner-and-a-movie date. She was special. I wanted to give her a night to remember.

"Do you think I could borrow your picnic basket stuff?" I asked Esme as I leaned sheepishly on her kitchen island.

"Of course you can sweetie," she told me with a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so happy to see you like this."

"Me, too," I answered her honestly. Esme didn't take long to produce the basket, complete with blanket.

"Special girl?" Esme asked, raising her eyebrows as she placed the basket in front of me.

I smirked and nodded. "Very," I admitted. I never talked to Esme about the woman I dated, or should I say fucked? I don't think I ever properly dated a woman before.

"Do you need help making something?" she asked.

"No. I want to do it. Thank you though," I said and grabbed the basket. I kissed her cheek and might as well have skipped the fuck out, but I didn't. I still had some control and dignity. Maybe.

I attempted to cook some chicken to top a salad on the grill. I mean how hard could it be to grill chicken? Today, it was a fucking bitch. I don't mean to sound like I am a chef or have stellar cooking abilities, but I can grill. Men can fucking grill. I fired up the grill and cut the chicken into strips—and that was the fucking mistake. Half the pieces fell down between the grates into the coals. I tried to reach in to get them, but the fire came up in a huge flame and I recoiled quickly. I looked down at my arm and wondered if some hair singed off from the heat. Who was I kidding? I didn't care if I had third degree burns from the seemingly easy task of grilling. This was a disaster. The chicken was burnt to a crisp.

"Mother fucker!" I growled at the grill with a swift kick to the outdoor appliance. This did not help the few pieces of chicken that had still managed to survive because they too followed suit into the flames below.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" I yelled to no one but myself. I shut the lid to the grill with a loud bang before storming into the house to see what else I could come up with.

So far, I had strawberries and champagne. I had to feed Bella more than that, the girl needed to fuckin' eat. She was way too skinny. I opened my refrigerator in a huff and scanned the vast emptiness. Milk, beer, Hotpockets . . . the essentials.

I began to throw open the kitchen cabinets where I stored food. Chips, canned shit . . . nothing good enough for Bella. I slammed the doors shut, which caused a few glasses in the cabinet next to them to rattle.

I did the only thing I could think of: I picked up my phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Mom, can you help me with that food?"

At seven o'clock, I stood outside of Bella's door. I was nervous as hell. I attempted to tame my hair and made sure my shirt didn't look wrinkled as I moved my palm down my chest and stomach.

"Pull it together," I whispered to myself. I took a deep breath and knocked on her door.

I could hear the locks turning and the chain rattling off as Bella pulled the door open. "Edward." She smiled up at me. She looked beautiful.

Bella came forward to hug me but I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. She must have thought I was going to do more because she retreated away from me. Ending all hope of contact between us in that moment.

"I got all your flowers . . . and the phone. That was very sweet of you," she said shyly as she slid her arms into her leather jacket.

I pulled the single red rose from behind my back and handed it to her with a shy smile. "It's thornless." I pointed out the obvious like an awkward teenager.

"Yeah, me and thorns don't mix. Good call." She laughed. I held my arm out and motioned for her to go ahead of me. "Am I dressed okay?" she asked as we exited her building.

"You look beautiful," I assured her and placed my hand on the small of her back as I led her to my truck.

"I wasn't sure if I needed to dress up," she explained as I opened the truck door. She placed her hand in mine as she climbed in.

"You could have worn anything for this date," I told her before shutting the door. I noticed Bella hold the rose to her nose and inhale the scent greedily. It made me feel victorious.

I took Bella back to the meadow where I had shared the Northern Lights with her. I pulled the blanket out and spread it out on the ground before us.

"This is really great Edward," Bella said and took a bite of the tiny triangle sandwich Esme prepared. I had to remember to thank her for saving what could have been a disaster. "So, any questions I have you will answer?" Bella asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Any," I told her with conviction. The wind blew her hair from behind, causing it to block her face. I pushed it back and repeated my promise to her, "_Anything_."

Okay, your first girlfriend?" Bella asked with a smile.

"Ah, you are the closest thing to a girlfriend I have ever had," I admitted to her.

"Really? Not even Alice?" Bella asked in a teasing tone.

"Alice? Why would you think that?" I asked, because Alice was the closest thing to a girlfriend I ever had.

Bella shrugged, obviously waiting for me to answer her question. After all, I was the one that promised to answer questions.

"Alice and I did think we had more . . . but it didn't get far. She is more like a sister."

"Have you had many women?"

"Have I had many women?" I laughed, teasing her a little. "Only one that matters."

Bella blushed as I held her hand in mine, tracing her palm with my fingers. "How did you know where I moved?" she asked. I knew this one was coming.

"I've been . . . watching you. But only from a distance! Only to make sure you were safe."

"Why wouldn't I be safe? I mean, you are the one I should fear. You are the one that was hired to kill me." Her words stung, and I couldn't keep my eyes on her at the reminder. I looked down with shame.

"Jacob . . . he can be . . . unpredictable. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Just . . . if I asked you to stay away from him, would you?"

"Does he want to hurt me?" Bella asked, swallowing the words thickly.

"Bella, I don't want to be associated with him anymore. But I can't just walk away, scot-free," I tried to explain to her. I wanted her to know the truth and I was prepared to answer anything she wanted. I just hoped she would allow me to keep it vague.

"So, you haven't stopped killing?" Bella asked me bluntly.

"I have appearances to keep up. To keep Jake from doing something out of anger or spite. I am trying to figure out some way to get out . . . but until then, I need to play the game."

Bella nodded, in what I hoped was understanding. "I get it," she whispered as she swatted away a tear that escaped. "You're going to keep killing people, to make sure you don't get . . . _tortured_."

"_No_!" I quickly argued with her. She had it all wrong because I was being too vague. "I am going to give as many bullshit reasons for not taking jobs as I can! In addition, I am going to tell people to disappear! I am not going to kill anyone else. Ever," I told her as I held her face in my hand. "Bella, he can hurt me and I wouldn't care, but he knows that hurting you would hurt me far more. I can't . . . risk your safety."

"Why . . . I mean how did this start? I don't . . ." Bella stopped before sighing. "Never mind. Maybe I don't want to know."

"Shit . . ." I sighed. I wanted her to know me; everything about me. I wanted to tell her things I buried a long time ago. Things that not many people knew, not even Emmett or Jake. I did not want to tell her to make her feel sorry for me, or to justify the monster I had become. I wanted her to know me. "I'm sure it's no secret that I am adopted," I began. "My father was a lawyer; my mom stayed at home and raised me. I wasn't sure what was going on . . . it was the middle of the afternoon. I was outside playing in the yard . . . I heard my dad's car pull up. I wanted to go ask him about taking me to see _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_—It had just come out in theaters and I wanted to see it so bad. I ran to the back door to go inside . . ." I swallowed thickly ". . . and my mom . . . she looked pale. She smiled at me and I knew it was forced." Bella reached out and touched my arm; my voice became weaker the more I spoke.

"She, ah . . . told me to go back outside, to go to the neighbors and tell them to call the police. She shut the door and I heard her scream once before I heard the gun go off. I saw her blood splatter against the glass window on the door. I didn't run; I hid in the bushes by the house. I heard the gun go off seven or eight more times."

"Edward . . . I'm so sorry that happened to you," Bella said, all teary eyed. "Did they ever catch the guy that did it?"

"Never. Whoever it was, they got away with it. I had no other family. My grandparents were gone, and my parents had no siblings. I spent a year in and out of foster homes until Carlisle and Esme adopted me."

"When was the first time you . . . ?" Bella didn't have to say the words. I knew what she was asking.

"When I got here, it wasn't easy for me. I did not make friends easily. I was not sure how to. So I made friends with Alice first. Well, she made friends with me. I suppose because I did not know her. I didn't judge her. Other kids called her names for being different. However, she was the first person to reach out to me. Then I became a freak from association. I did not bother to try to work on my social skills. Regardless, I would not leave her. I felt the need to protect her. Things didn't get better as we got older." I knew she understood this. I knew she did not sympathize with me, but she did have empathy. She worked with kids who were as screwed up as me every day. Bella wiped another tear from her face and I went on to tell her how it all began. I knew I could not give too many details. Alice would murder me. They were not just _my_ secrets to tell.

"People can be cruel, Bella. One night it boiled over. We did not plan to kill anyone. Nevertheless, when the hate poured out of him with his words . . . and he pulled out a gun . . . it happened really fast. I was not there, but I helped them cover it up. We had gotten away with murder . . . and it was like a drug. A high we sought. I am not proud of that, Bella. You—you saved me. You showed me a completely new world . . . full of love. I didn't think love actually existed until you."

Bella let out a stuttering breath as I removed my hand from her face. She knew more about my demons than anyone did. This was the point of no return. She would either love me despite that, or leave me because of it.

Bella stood up, and I fully expected her to walk away. I just told her I got a euphoric feeling when I completed a hit. I looked into my lap again, ashamed. Unexpectedly, fingers were in my hair, gently tugging my head upwards. I looked up at Bella's big brown eyes as they swam with tears.

"You were just lost," she whispered before sitting on my lap. Her fingers messing up the hair I attempted to tame earlier; her lips on my cheeks, my eyes, my nose. "You're home with me."

Home. Such a simple word, yet it held so much meaning. Never in my life had I felt truly at home, anywhere, not even in my own skin. I had wonderful parents who loved me much more than I ever felt I deserved. I was always an outcast growing up. Sure, the girls always wanted me, the guys were always jealous of me, but I always was a loner. I kept my head in the books growing up, desperately trying to study my way out of this fucking small, backwards town.

But after all the hard work I put into my studies and schooling, I was still here years later, stuck here in fucking Forks because of my involvement with Jacob Black and all that shit I got myself involved in that fateful night with his father.

I guess for a long time I thought it was okay because I had a shit load of money in the bank and the cocky attitude to go along with it. I suppose somehow I thought that one day I would pick up and walk away from it all. Go see the world and get out of this Podunk town as I had always dreamed of, but it was not until this angel, who was currently sitting in my lap, walked into my life that I realized I had nothing before her. It also made me realize that despite all the money I had . . . I was never free. This life I had been living, the one that I thought brought me such a high of euphoria, had really kept me locked up in shackles. I was enslaved to it, and I certainly wasn't as powerful as I thought I was. This little angel brought me to my knees.

Bella walking into my life made me feel things for the first time ever. I wasn't simply a machine, just going through the motions of what I thought made me happy. She actually made me _feel_ happy . . . and sad, and insecure. The feelings were not always good ones, but at least I was feeling something real. For the first time in my life, I felt alive and I knew now that I would have to change. I could never go back to the way I was before. I knew in order to be with her I would have to change, because she could never be with the person I was before, and I could never be without her. Period.

I was in unfamiliar territory about everything regarding her. I didn't know how to date a woman; I didn't know how to show love and affection; and besides with my mother, I didn't know how to be a true gentleman; making decisions for her that were based out of respect and dignity, even if it meant acting against my own needs and desires. They say "home is where the heart is," so if that's true, then Bella was right: she _was_ my home because she definitely held my heart.

"Say something, Edward," she said softly as she stroked my hair. "You're being quiet."

"Sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed right now," I told her honestly. "I really didn't think you would ever give me a second chance; and now that you have . . . I'm scared as hell about screwing it up."

She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment before reaching up and cupping either side of my face with her little hands. "I'm scared too, Edward, I'm not going to lie about that; but I think we just need to be honest with each other from this point on. Nothing, or no one, can come between us as long as we are honest. We are both in this together . . . we'll figure it out together," she said before leaning in to kiss my lips.

We kissed for several minutes before I felt a rain drop on my head . . . _fucking Forks!_ We both looked up at the darkening sky and saw the rain clouds rolling in.

"Come on, Baby," I said to her. "Let's get back to my truck before we get poured on."

She stood up from my lap and held her hands out for me, which I took as I stood up. We both quickly packed up our stuff in the basket and walked hand-in-hand back to my truck.

After I helped her into her seat, and ran around to the driver's side to get in, I noticed that she had moved into the center of the bench seat so she was right next to me. I smiled at her as I climbed in and, after I started the engine, I threw my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head, pulling her into my side as I pulled away from the meadow and out to the road.

We drove back towards her apartment in relative silence. Neither one of us felt the need to fill silences with senseless babble because the silence was never awkward. We could say so much to each other by just being there, feeling each other, looking at each other . . . better than any words could ever express.

When we pulled up outside of her apartment, I started to feel all anxious and nervous. I had never felt this unsure about what to do with a girl in my entire life. I felt like a fucking teenager with my sweaty palms and pounding heartbeat.

After a little hesitation I cut the engine and looked at her. "Come on, I'll walk you to your door," I said.

She smiled at me before I turned and opened the car door. Rather than her sliding back over to the passenger side, she slid over to my side and I took her hand to help her out. We walked down the sidewalk to the door that led up to her apartment. She lived right on the main street of town, in an apartment above the town's barbershop. The barber, who was a long time friend of her father, owned the building. It held four apartments: two on Bella's floor and two on the floor above.

_Fucking stalker, _I thought to myself about how much I knew about her living arrangements.

We walked up the stairs to her door. As she unlocked it, I stood, all fidgety, behind her. I wasn't sure what to do next. She pushed it open, walked in, and placed her keys on a small table. She turned to look at me.

"Would you like to come in for a drink?" she asked shyly.

"Uh . . . yeah, that would be nice," I responded.

She smiled and stepped aside so I could walk in. After she shut the door, she walked across the living room into the small kitchen.

"What can I get you?" she called out. "I don't have much in the way of alcohol since I don't get much company, but I do have a few beers and some wine."

"Beer works for me," I called back to her as I looked around her apartment.

It was small, but cozy. Everything was neatly tucked away into their rightful place. I was happy to notice that all of the furniture looked brand new, which meant she left all of Mike behind when she sold the house they had shared together.

I turned when I heard her walk into the room. She had a beer for me in one hand and a glass of wine in the other for herself. She held out the beer for me to take, which I did, before she gestured at me to have a seat on the couch.

I sat down and wrapped my arm around Bella as she snuggled into my side.

"Your apartment is nice," I said into her hair. "It is very befitting of you."

"Thanks," she replied, before taking a sip of her wine. "When I decided to sell the house I debated buying something else, but fairly quickly I decided against it. Then Sal, the barber who is my landlord, told Charlie that he had this vacant apartment in his building, and when I saw it . . . I knew it was perfect for me."

"Why did you decide against buying something?" I asked.

Bella squirmed slightly, looking uncomfortable by the question. Her gaze fell down to her lap, avoiding my eye contact.

"What?" I asked, as I put my finger under her chin to force her to look up at me.

"Well . . . I didn't want to be tied down to owning another home in this town," she said, again turning her head away from me. "I wasn't sure if I was going to stay here for much longer."

I let her words sink in, feeling badly for being the person responsible for making her feel like she might have to uproot her life once again. I knew she was not happy here with Mike, but I did know she was happy here generally. She had told me when we first met that she wanted to live in a small town and raise a family, and she loved being close to her father again. She was where she wanted to be, just not with the person she wanted to be with. Mike had broken his promises and broke her heart. I was sure as hell never going to allow that to happen to her again.

Before I could respond, she reached out and took my beer from me, placing it and her glass of wine on the coffee table in front of us. The next thing I knew she was climbing onto me, straddling my lap, before she threw her arms around my neck, gripping me in a hug.

Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her into me tightly. I could feel her body start to tremble and, from the sounds she was making, I knew she was crying.

"_Shhh_," I whispered, "don't cry, Baby." I rubbed her back with the palm of my hands in small circles, allowing her to get it all out, but also trying to sooth her as much as I could.

"Edward, these past few months have been awful," she sobbed. "I did not know if I should run _to_ you, or run _away_ from you. Every time I thought about moving away and starting over it would feel like my heart was ripping in two all over again. I knew it was my choice to stay away from you all this time, but knowing you were close by was the only thing that kept me going. No matter how many bad days I had with Mike, and how sad he made me . . . ten years worth of miserable days with him was nothing compared to one miserable day _without_ you." She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "I just—just . . . I just love you so much, Edward."

My heartbeat doubled in speed as those words fell from her beautiful lips. I knew that for as long as I lived, no matter what I did to be better for her, I would never deserve this woman. However, I would be damned if anything was ever going to keep me from her ever again.

I reached up and cupped her face with my hands as my thumbs wiped away her tears. "I love you too, Bella; more than my own life . . . more than anything."

It was all I needed to say before she crashed her mouth to mine. The kiss was passionate and deep from the very moment our lips touched. Her lips parted and I slipped my tongue into her mouth. Her fingers entwined up into my hair as mine ran up and down her back.

She started to grind her hips, rubbing her sweet pussy into my cock. I let out a moan into her mouth as my hands slid down to her ass, where I pushed her harder into me, allowing the closer contact to give us both the friction we needed. I needed her unlike anything else I had ever needed in my life. Probably even more than the air I breathed.

I let my hands slip under the hem of her shirt and travel up to the clasp of her bra. I unhooked it quickly and slid my hands around the front to cup her breasts. She moaned and rested her forehead on my shoulder, continuing her rocking movements with her hips. We were really getting into it when she sat up straight and started to take off her shirt. It was the first time I saw her face since she had first started to kiss me, and I noticed fresh tears streaking down her cheeks.

I reached out and stilled her hands before she could pull her shirt over her head. "Wait," I whispered. "Stop."

She looked up at me confused, but also looked slightly embarrassed because she knew I saw she was still crying. Her cheeks burned red and she looked down.

"Isabella, tell me . . . what's wrong?"

She just shook her head. "It's nothing, Edward. I'm just . . . overwhelmed. I have been through so much over the past few months, and now, well, now you're here and I'm so happy. For the first time in a long time . . . I'm happy," she said.

I breathed a sigh of relief, but when she moved to take her shirt off, I stopped her again.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"I just think . . . I don't think we should do this tonight," I told her.

"But . . . why? I want to, Edward. I'm sorry . . . I won't cry anymore," she said as she wiped the back of her hands across her face, trying to erase the signs of the tears that had been there.

I wrapped my hands around her wrists and brought them down in between us. "Bella . . . there's no rush. I am not going anywhere. We have been through so much over the past few months. You are emotional right now, and even though I'm not crying . . . I'm emotional too. I don't want our first time back together to be like this: all fast, furious, and needy. When we are together again I want it to be free of all that. I want to be able to take my time with you, to worship you slowly. I want to know all your likes and dislikes . . . things I should have taken the time to learn _before_ our first time. I know this is all backwards but . . . let's just give ourselves a little time to adjust to being back together—to really get to know each other. Because when we are finally together intimately, I'm going to make love to you in the way you deserve . . . and not one single tear of sadness will fall from those beautiful eyes of yours."

She closed her eyes and I watched the last lone tear fall from her eye and down her cheek. I pulled her back to me, letting her rest her head on my shoulder, as I wrapped my arms tightly around her again. I gently lifted her so she could sit across my lap, while I held her close to my chest.

After sitting quietly for about a half hour, I felt her breathing become slow and steady. I knew she had fallen asleep so I carefully stood up, cradling her, as I walked across the living room and down the little hallway that led to her bedroom. I bent down and pulled back her covers with one hand before gently placing her down on the bed. I pulled her shoes off and tucked her in. I stared at her, leaning down to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. Before I stood up, I placed a kiss on her forehead and then made my way across her room, down the hallway and to the front door. I stopped at the little table beside the door and wrote her a quick note telling her I had left but to call me in the morning as soon as she woke up, and most importantly telling her that I loved her.

I let myself out, making sure the door locked behind me, and walked down to my truck. When I climbed in, I sat for a moment and looked up at her bedroom window. A small smile crept across my face as I realized that I had been given a second chance; not only with Bella, but also with life in general. Everything with her was falling into place, but that did not mean that everything in my life was where it needed to be. I knew there was a hard road ahead of us. Nothing that I established with Bella would be worth a damn if I didn't take care of the bigger, pressing issues once and for all—and let's just say that I knew my biggest problems weren't going to be isolated to only Jacob Black.

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_A sensible man will remember that the eyes may be confused in two ways - by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize that the same thing happens to the soul.—_Plato

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**A/N:** We were so sorry for the delay last time that we are updating quickly this week. :) We hope you enjoy where the story is going . . . there will be action coming up soon. Be prepared.

Love, FSX

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	20. 19 Faith

**Wicked Angel**

**19. Faith**

* * *

_You know it was faith_

_I'm trying hard to never see you leave again_

_You know it was faith_

_Say goodbye to yesterday_

—Puddle of Mudd

* * *

Days passed by without incident. Bella and I spent whatever time we could together, and we'd never been happier. Charlie smiled broadly whenever he saw us together and I was honestly glad. I never thought I'd care what someone thought of me, but the approval of Bella's father was important to me.

_Huh_. Talk about heavy changes.

Of course, if her father really knew me, he'd probably have his daughter move as far away as she could, buy her a new name, and make sure she cut off all ties to me. Thank fuck he knew nothing. I'd continue to smile, wave, and play the part that was expected of me . . . the part I so desperately wanted to fill.

I parked my car beside the old cabin out in the woods. Jacob was inside with another assignment. I wasn't stupid though; I grabbed my gun and slid it into my waistband, prepared to take him out if he made one wrong move.

I got out and walked slowly to the front door, scanning the surrounding area. I always thought this place was a perfect hideout. In the middle of the woods and creepy as fuck. Hundreds of trees blocked sun so we stayed hidden. Now it wasn't such a hot idea. This was the perfect place for an ambush. Inside, Jacob sat on the decrepit couch with a bottle of Jack beside him. He didn't look drunk, but it was still early for him.

"I'm here. What do you want?"

He snickered. "Wow, what's got your panties all in a knot? Don't want to hang with me or what?"

I sighed and sat down. He was in one of those moods . . . the equivalent of a girl right before she gets a visit from her monthly friend.

"I didn't say that. I just didn't know if you wanted me to hang around or just get my assignment and leave."

His leg was shaking back and forth rapidly where he was sitting, his stare penetrating through me. I stared right back, not willing to pussy out when it came to Jacob. He always had these mood swings that only few people could figure out. He was strung out . . . and a strung out Jacob was so not good. It wouldn't help Bella's safety if I was dead and gone.

He dropped his gaze to the floor and said, "Well, seeing as you have your precious Bella now, I didn't think you'd want to be with the gang anymore. We've become second place in your life. We did things together, and now it seems that you want to break away from us. You want to quit."

Fuck, he was right. It used to always be us four. I never could imagine my life without any one of them. They were a part of me. I guess that was what killing and covering for one another does to you. Except . . . well, that wasn't me anymore. By fate, or whatever shit it was, Bella came into my life. She opened my eyes and made me see that life really was beautiful . . . if you had someone you loved to share it with.

I couldn't tell Jacob any of this though. It's not what he wanted to hear at the moment and I had to tread carefully with him. Of the four of us, he was the most volatile.

"Nothing's changed Jacob. I'm still the same fuckin' person. Bella hasn't changed any of that. If you want to hang, we'll hang. I'm still available for hits, you know that. We're still a tight pack. We watch each other's backs. Always have. Always will."

I was lying through my teeth, but I had always been a good liar. It was one of the assets that got me far in this line of work. I didn't mind lying to Jacob though; I knew he told his fair share of lies himself. Still, if he was in a shaky mood, I needed to keep him balanced. There was no sense in rocking the boat.

After a few minutes, he still hadn't said anything. I was beginning to become uncomfortable. What was he thinking? What was he going to do? His face gave nothing away so all I could do was sit there and wait. Eventually, he looked up at me and smirked. I met his gaze, but felt uneasy. Something about his demeanor wasn't right.

"What would you do if she didn't love you back? If she decided she loved someone else? Unrequited love. What would you do?"

My mind raced. I had no idea why he was asking me this. Jacob always had a point to make, always had a reason, but I couldn't figure out what his was. I answered as truthfully as I could.

"Nothing. I'd let her go."

His eyes narrowed. "You'd let her go? Just like that?"

I answered steadily because it was the truth. "It would hurt like a bitch, but yeah, I'd let her go. I'd want her to be happy, even if it meant she was with someone else. I still wouldn't kill her."

He nodded and leaned back on the couch. "You surprise me Cullen. You going soft on me?"

"No. If she didn't choose me, I wouldn't kill her. It's not going soft, it's wanting her to be happy. Those are two different things."

He nodded. "I suppose I can understand that. What about the guy she chose to be with. Would you kill him?"

"No." I knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but I couldn't bring myself to lie about that. I couldn't imagine hurting my Bella in that way.

"Pussy."

"Maybe. When it comes to her happiness. I just couldn't hurt her like that."

In an instant, Jacob became pissed. He stood up and came at me, and I rose just as quickly, meeting him head on.

"You think you're better than we are Cullen? That you're some holy roller now? That she makes you a better man? Well news flash: she can't save you. Her love won't set you free. You'll always be one of us, you'll always have us with you, understand? We've been through too much shit together and I can't—"

I put my hands on his shoulders to back him up. This was what I was hoping to avoid—an explosion. Jacob actually hadn't had one of these in quite some time and unfortunately for me, I was here when he did.

"Hey Jake, shut the fuck up man. I don't think I'm better than you, or Alice or Emmett. WE. ARE. A. TEAM. We always will be. Like I said before, Bella doesn't change any of that. I'm still here. We're all still together and the jobs will go on. I'm not a pussy. Never have been, never will be."

His breathing regulated again and he calmed down. He nodded and looked back up at me, trying to trap me with his cold, hard stare. I towered over him, unflinching; green versus brown . . . and I won out.

He blinked and continued. "I have a job for you. If you're not a pussy, go take care of this. It's a guy in Seattle. CEO. His partner wants him out. You know the drill."

I memorized the information he gave me and headed out. I looked back when I opened the door and said firmly, "I will take care of this. You'll see that nothing has changed."

His face was grim. I heard him say something as I shut the door behind me, but I couldn't make it out. As I slammed the door to my car, I realized it sounded a lot like he had said, "You're wrong."

Jake had given me two weeks to get the "job" done. I spent the next couple of days between my shifts at the Coroner's office and the funeral home reading through the dossier Jake had provided. It was a simple hit . . . like a fucking walk in the park really. I mean it was almost downright insulting that the fucker would even give me a mindless hit like this. Why didn't he give this to one of his cronies who were literally chomping at his dick to get a taste of the action?

Well regardless, I had a "job" to do and I had to get my head in the game, so to speak, to make this look like one of my regular specialties. That would really throw my friends off, having no choice but to think that I was finally pulling my head from my ass and getting back to my old killing ways.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that Cullen because it's not like your psychic best friend won't know what you are up to._

Shit . . . Alice. Yes, she had grudgingly kept the knowledge that I hadn't completed my last hit, practically suggesting that the poor guy move to Siberia or some shit place, to herself. But was I really that naïve in thinking she would continue to hide my intentions for every hit? No, I was certainly not fucking stupid. I knew that if I continued with this line of thinking and doing things, she would take severe pleasure in kicking my ass. Not to fucking mention that she would get so fed up, she would undoubtedly rat me out to Jake and Emmett, effectively killing me. All I could do was try to portray that these "hits" actually did occur, setting the scenes up as perfectly as possible. I mean, I knew I couldn't just go up to my intended target, push a gun in their face, and convince them to flee the fucking country every time I was given an assignment. I had to make sure I remained calculated, meticulous even. My flair for my theatrical ways in killing couldn't just stop all of a sudden. I had to set scenes up perfectly so Alice could "see" that I was indeed planning and going through with killing my targets.

I hated keeping too many secrets from Emmett and Alice . . . and yeah, even that dickhead Jake . . . at times. Well, that was before he had intentions on ending the life of an innocent woman . . . _my_ fucking woman. I was not going to let that shit happen. Over my dead body. It was sad, really. The four of us had been through so much shit over the years and made a fucking kick-ass team. We never kept anything from one another and now I was being deceitful and sneaky. Slowly over the years, something shifted with Jake, causing me to question his motives in certain situations . . . and I had never doubted Jake before in my life. Hell, I trusted him with my damn life and now I was wary of turning my back because I had a feeling he wouldn't shed one tear if I was shot in the damn back. Maybe I was talking out of my ass, but he turned into some prick that didn't care to take his friends' thoughts and feelings into consideration. So why should I be so concerned anymore about that asshole's welfare like I had been before?

Whenever Jake needed something, I did it without question. I always had his back. Then when the jobs became more risky, more monetarily enticing, he became more ruthless and demanding. I had already been losing my patience with his decreasing respect for Emmett and Alice, almost treating them like his little lapdogs, but he was being particularly snippy and harsh with me as though he was growing impatient for no reason. Normally I wouldn't give two shits but we had been a close knit group, a family that could only count on one another, and we were changing . . . some for the better and some for the worse. Jake was getting worse, which was made evident throughout the whole Newton hit. Now he hated Bella and I was never going to give her up, so I had no choice than to make him my enemy.

My life had dramatically changed the moment I laid eyes on my beautiful Bella. When she uttered her first words to me that night outside her office building, releasing her hypnotic voice, charming the ever living shit out of me, I was a goner. My heart had been so closed off, laughing at the idea of falling in love and baring my soul. But she peeled back the steel layer I had protectively encased my heart in. She saw the jaded scaring that my life experiences had left in its wake and didn't turn away, disgusted. Unfortunately, this left me at a crucial crossroad between my girl and the only family I had even known and trusted. I would choose Bella again and again without hesitation. I only hoped that Emmett and Alice would eventually join me on the path to reconstruct their lives. They had found saving graces in Jasper and Rosalie and I wanted nothing but the best to come from these unions. Rosalie and Jasper were a welcomed breath of fresh air for my friends and I wanted them to become the catalyst for Alice and Em's life choices to change direction. Only time would tell for that.

Feeling the ridiculously wide smile plastered on my face that always came when I thought of my girl, I was sure that I looked like some cheesy ass who was pussy whipped. I shook my head, thinking about my next target and how I was going to run this poor fuck out of town, which caused the lines of my smile to fade. Knitting my brows together in concentration, I looked back down at the file on this CEO clown, checking over the notes from my stakeout. From the looks of the situation, I could run this idiot out of the fucking country within the week.

His name was Alistair and he was co-owner of a sports advertising company. He was apparently skimming money off the top and had a few secret off shore bank accounts in the Caribbean reaping the benefits. His partner, Marcus, was doing the same thing, but he wasn't as greedy. Marcus and Alistair were childhood friends who came from nothing only to rise to power from creating a start-up company from their college dorm room. Their clients were local recreational and college sports teams. Marcus reached his breaking point when he suspected his wife, Charlotte, was diddling with Alistair's fiddle for quite some time now. His suspicions became a reality when he watched a very hot and heavy indoor pool-fucking session between his best friend and his wife. All courtesy of the security tape from Alistair's high rise building.

Fucking idiots. How on earth did Charlotte and this dumb ass not realize security cameras were placed everywhere in the expensive, ritzy building that included the fucking pool area? Needless to say, Alistair wasn't too pleased to see his best friend pound relentlessly into his wife as though she were some chew toy. Marcus's wife was apparently clueless to everything around her.

It was a regular _Tella Novella_ unfolding here and I just wanted to punch all these fuckers in the face for just being so stupid. I sighed loudly, rolling my eyes as I rode the elevator up to the top floor, where this guy's high rise penthouse was. This wasn't going to take long, at least it had better not.

As soon as he opened the door and let me in, I spoke calmly, informing him to lock the bolt and sit on the couch to listen to what I had to say. He was such a scrawny punk and cowered away from me. He was lucky I had turned a new leaf or else his brains would be splattered on the sidewalk, thirty stories below. Sitting on the leather recliner across from him, I began to inform Alistair about what brought me here. Showing him pictures of his little escapades with his best friend's wife, his eyes bulged out of his head.

He was practically sobbing as I told him that I was hired to kill him. Vivid pictures began swirling in my mind of the many ways I could torture and mutilate his body, spraying the blood everywhere across the walls making it look like some impressionist painting. I thought of the many ways I could place his body so someone could find him . . . clothed, naked, in the bed, in the kitchen, in the study. I thought of the way I could have him beg for his life while I lifted and hoisted him over his balcony, blissfully watching as he plummeted to his death . . . But that was the old me.

"Oh God, please . . . p-please don't kill me!" Alistair screamed, shaking like a frightened kitten. His screeching voice brought me back from my twisted little trance.

I sighed. "Stop the whining or else I will end you right now," I warned, my voice still low but firm. This guy was scared shitless of me, which worked perfectly for my ploy.

Standing up, I paced before Alistair. I wanted to keep him on his toes, so I treaded slowly from one end of the room to the other.

"Listen up, Jackass, because this is going to be your fucking lucky day. You can kiss your life here goodbye. You are about to consider yourself dead because in an hour you and I are going to leave here . . . and you are never going to be heard from again."

Alistair's eyes followed me as I walked the length of his room and back until I finally sat beside him, gripping him by his shoulder. His eyes grew wide. I looked down at his lap, watching his legs shake uncontrollably when a wet spot was forming on his left upper thigh. Seconds later, the wetness spread like wildfire, which confirmed that he was indeed pissing in his pants. Great.

With my death grip still clutching his shoulder, I leaned in and whispered the rest of the plan in his ear.

"Calm the fuck down, man. As long as you listen to me, you will end up living free and easy. You have roughly an hour to pack up the shit that means the most to you in this world. Then you are going to write a letter explaining that you can no longer live with the guilt from fucking your partner's wife. You are going to inform whoever cares to read this letter that you have every intention of disappearing to some undisclosed location and killing yourself. You will take a cab to the airport, use cash to buy a one-way ticket to the Bahamas, where you will live out the rest of your days a rich man from the millions you have stored there in your cushy account. You will never contact anyone . . . ever. Or else I will find you and kill you very slowly and very painfully. Are we clear?"

"Y-yes, sir. Th-Thank you so much, sir," he stammered, getting up and starting on his task.

"Sir? Really? I'm not fucking ninety years old, you shithead. Just shut up and do as you're told."

Three hours later, after making sure fuck-face got on his flight, I drove outside the city a little ways into the mountains so I could create some scene that made it seem as though Alistair had committed suicide and drove himself off a cliff. Putting the car in neutral, I got out and proceeded to douse the inside of the car with gasoline. Igniting a match, I threw it under the steering wheel, the leather interior immediately being licked by flames. I ran to the back of the car and pushed with all my might. Moments later, Alistair's precious car was soaring in the air, diving down alongside the steep cliff to meet its impending demise. The icing on the cake? I stole a body from the local funeral home.

I ran a mile away to a car I had hidden off the side of the road and headed back to Forks. Mission accomplished. I texted Jake, informing him that my assignment had been completed.

**Can you believe Alice's favorite movie is Thelma and Louise? -E **

That movie title was informing Jake of how Alistair had been "killed." We always used that movie whenever I got rid of a target by pushing them and their car over a cliff. A few minutes later my phone beeped, alerting me of a text message.

**No shit! I haven't seen that movie in a while. -J **

The asshole loved when I ran people over cliffs. He often wished I would videotape those assignments so he could get off on someone flying and then plunging to their deaths. Sick, really.

On the drive back to Forks, I was contemplative, thinking of how ravenous I was as I considered all the ways I could have killed that CEO. Those specific visions played back in my head like a damn horror flick, the images changing faster and faster, like flipping the pages of those books where there were pictures at the corners and the faster you flip through the pages, the more the pictures blended together to play like a movie.

I was nervous that I still enjoyed thinking of ways to end that clown's life—how fucking easy it was to fall back into that habit. Yes, I wanted to stop for Bella and for myself so I could be a decent man that my girl deserved, but fuck, I was petrified thinking that I would never really change. I felt like killing was a part of me, my life, part of my fucking genetic make-up and I suddenly grew scared of the notion that Bella would leave me. I had just gotten her back and I'd be damned if she would ever leave me again. I needed that amazing woman like I needed air in my lungs. She was my life now, my heart, the light brightening my dark, black soul.

I couldn't let my girl down . . . I would never let my girl down again, because the thought of Bella being disappointed in me made my heart ache. Rubbing my chest furiously, I hoped the pain would just fucking go away. I had to trust that I would never go back to killing again. I had to trust I was striving to be a better man and was getting successful results. Shaking my head to rid myself of the negative thoughts that loomed over my head, thick as a dark storm cloud, my foot pressed down harder on the gas pedal, causing the car to push forward faster. There was only one person that would make me feel better.

When Bella opened the door to her apartment, I felt like I could finally fucking breathe again, like it was okay to relax. The tension immediately slid from my shoulders as I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around her sexy, tiny form. She accepted my embrace automatically as though she knew what I was going to do once she opened the door. We were so fucking attuned to one another that I knew we were meant to be together and all that mushy shit. I buried my nose in the crook of her neck and let her hair frame my face. She smelled like fucking delicious, ripe strawberries with sugar.

"I missed you," I whispered. Yeah, I was fucking speaking tenderly, but only for my girl. Fuck everyone else.

She laughed this cute little laugh, hugging me tighter. "It's only been a few days, but you are so sweet. I missed you too."

Bella was the first to pull away, as she tilted her head to the side to survey my face.

"Aw, Babe, you look so tired. I tried calling you last night, but your phone went straight to voicemail. I was worried that something had happened." She brushed her fingers along my face. I craved her touch so fucking much and I never wanted her to stop touching me.

For some reason, I started to feel fucking guilty all over again. Maybe it was the way she was stoking my face so lovingly or the love that was radiating from her beautiful, dusty brown eyes. I don't fucking know. What I did know was that I couldn't lose her trust ever again. That would kill me for sure. So I had to be honest and tell her what I had been up to. I wanted her to know I wasn't killing anymore and was keeping my promise of being a man worthy of her love and devotion.

Meeting her perfect gaze, I began to blink rapidly. My eyes were beginning to burn, a threat of what was to come.

Fucking tears.

Thank fuck, I was successful in keeping them at bay. Shit, I wasn't a total pussy.

"I shut my phone off. I couldn't have any interruptions. "I'm sorry if I worried you. Hey, Bella, I have to tell you something, and I'm afraid of how you will take it."

Placing her hand in mine, I led her to the couch. She sat down, her face etched with worry. She pulled her legs to her chest and snaked her arms around them, protecting herself. I felt so fucking bad.

"Edward, you're scaring me. What's wrong? I-If you think it's a mistake that we're together and want to leave me, just tell me now." God, her angelic voice sounded so small, so childlike. That damn annoying ache was wrenching my heart yet again.

"What? No Baby, it's nothing like that. I'm afraid you'll want to leave me." I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, preparing myself her reaction. "I was in Seattle on an assignment . . . a hit job ordered by Jake."

Bella's eyes were wide as it dawned on her what she thought I was doing.

"I didn't do anything like that, though. I made him disappear and leave the country—told him that it'd be best if he never returned to his life again. I said the same shit I did to the last guy I spared. I did push his car off a cliff to fake his death and made him write some sort of confession letter so it would seem like suicide. It felt good to save him, but damn it, it also felt sorta good thinking of ways I could kill him."

I had to take the risk in confiding my feelings to her. Bella needed to know that not killing was an everyday struggle, but that I would overcome it and prevail for myself, for her, for us.

When Bella didn't respond, my heart rate sped up so quickly I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

"Please don't be scared, Bella. I swear I didn't kill him. I really didn't want to, but the ideas came so easily to me, like second nature. But I was able to swallow those evil thoughts down and refused to let them take over the task at hand. I wasn't even that mean to the poor sap. You just gotta believe that I didn't end his life. I didn't even torture him. I drove him to the airport and made sure he got on a plane. I don't know what I will do if you don't believe me, but I promise that I did nothing to bring him harm. I'm working toward being the man you deserve to stand by you. You _will_ have faith in me . . . if it's the last thing I do; I _will_ make you trust me." My voice was so low towards the end of my little speech, I wasn't sure if Bella even heard me. I held my head in my hands, staring at the floor. I hated this silence; I needed Bella to say something for Christ's sake!

As if some deity in the universe was listening to my prayers, I felt familiar, soft hands pry mine from my face, lifting my head to meet Bella's stare. But I closed my eyes, not particularly wanting to see the disappointment on her beautiful face. I heard Bella sigh as she shifted in her spot on the couch.

I finally opened my eyes when I felt my girl settle herself on my lap, straddling me. She cupped my face between her hands, lifting it, and making my eyes open. The look on her face was not what I expected. She smiled and looked completely awestruck.

"Edward, I do have faith in you. How could I not? I'm with you here at this moment, aren't I? And I do trust you . . . in fact I trust you even more now that you told me what you did. I understand it will take time for you to break away from Jake and that way of life, but I'll be here every step of the way. You deserve for me to give you that chance. You deserve that happy ending, that happy life . . . and I can give you that and so much more."

"I don't deserve you," I whispered.

"You _do_ deserve me And I'm not going anywhere so you better be prepared."

Relief and joy coursed through my body. I walked in here thinking I could possibly be saying goodbye to my future and instead, Bella had given me hope.

I couldn't agree with her thoughts that I deserved anything she gave me. Love couldn't erase all the horrible things I had done . . . but it could sure help me change. For Bella, I would do this.

"Edward? Did you hear me?" Bella's eyes leveled with mine and I realized that I hadn't answered her. I did the only thing I could to show her I had been listening . . . I kissed her.

Her response to me was immediate. She moaned as I claimed her mouth with mine. I felt her fingers running through my hair and my hands roamed up and down her back. I couldn't get enough of her. My mouth felt as if it was on fire, and I loved the feeling of being claimed . . . of knowing I belonged to Bella just as much as she belonged to me.

"Bella." I kissed my way down her neck, attempting to talk through my feverish kisses. "I want"—kiss—"you to know"—kiss—"how much"—kiss—"you mean to me."

Bella's neck was fully exposed to me as her head flung backward. She graceful arched into my touch and I carefully kissed and licked the vein there. I felt her shudder on top of me, my cock responding to her body.

"I know . . . I know how much . . ."Her sentences were garbled as she ground into my dick, obviously feeling the erection that had grown under her. She grabbed my hands and put one on top of her hard nipple and the other under her skirt.

I continued kissing her while rubbing my thumb over her blouse, loving the feel of her tight nipples. My other hand shoved her panties aside, desperately wanting to feel her in any way I could. When I slid my fingers up and down her wet slit, she bucked forward with a moan.

"Oh fuck . . . you are so wet."

She nodded vigorously on top of me and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. I rubbed my thumb over her clit and her mouth opened, letting out the most erotic moan I had ever heard in my entire fucking life.

"Edward . . . please . . . don't tease . . ."

I chuckled as I saw her face desperately asking for a release. I rubbed my fingers near her entrance once more and whispered "I'm not teasing Bella . . . I'm just getting started" before I pushed a finger into her. I pumped in and out in a steady pace while rubbing my thumb over her swollen clit. I knew she wouldn't last long and that was fine by me. The faster I was able to make love to her and make her mine, the better. Our mouths attacked each other as she moved into my tender touches in her sensitive area.

Bella yanked her shirt out of the way, along with her bra. I looked up into her hooded eyes, licked my lips, and asked, "You are so beautiful, Bella."

"So are you." Her response was faint; she was so close.

With no warning, I latched on to her smooth skin and rolled my tongue over her nipple, enjoying the feel of how excited she was. She bucked into my hand even harder as my finger moved inside of her, my hand now drenched with her arousal. I sucked her into my mouth, harder and faster. My dick was ready to explode with all the friction that was being directed in its general area and I knew I wouldn't last long if we went right into it. With my free hand, I swung her around and climbed over her on the couch, my hand never leaving between her legs.

Suddenly, Bella's body seized up as I heard her chant, "Oh God, oh God, oh God . . ."

I groaned as I pulled myself off her chest and whispered in her ear, "Come for me, Bella."

"I love you Edward," she exclaimed when her body spasmed around my finger, her breathing hard and fast. I slowed my pace until I eventually stopped and pulled my finger out. Our foreheads rested together while her eyes were opened, coming back from the post-coital feeling she just experienced. I was just getting started. Her breasts were still heaving up and down, begging me to take them again. My mind was just getting creative with all the ways I could clean her up with my mouth when the doorbell rang.

I groaned and Bella's head popped up to look around my shoulder.

"Are you expecting anyone?" I asked, on high alert.

Her forehead crinkled. "No . . . I don't think I am."

The doorbell sounded again as I began to think of ways that we could exit the apartment and weapons I could use to protect her.

Then we heard it. "Bella! I know you're in there! Open the door or I'll break it down, you hear me? I've been calling you!" Of course Rosalie would come to ruin our evening.

My angel sighed as I moved off of her. "I've got to get it or she'll call the police." Buttoning her shirt and looking me up and down, she said, "I think the last thing we need is to have the cops called out here after what you just did."

I nodded in agreement and got up, adjusting my poor, abused and unused cock in my pants.

Bella unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door as I turned the corner.

"Finally! Bella, where the hell have—" Rosalie's voice broke off.

Silence.

Footsteps.

"All right, where the hell is he? I know Edward's here, why else would your hair be messed up and your shirt twisted?"

Rose The "Cock Block" Hale turned the corner and laughed when she saw me. I narrowed my eyes at her, wishing like hell she wasn't friends with Bella.

"What?" I managed to ground out.

"Sorry. Did I come at a bad time? Did little Eddie not get any action?"

I looked down at myself and grumbled. There was definitely a bulge in my pants, but as Rosalie stood there, it began deflating—and fast.

_Fucking cock block motherfucker . . ._

"So Rose, what're you doing here?" Bella tactfully brought the attention back to herself, obviously aware of the friction between Rose and I.

She gave me a sideways glance before she turned toward Bella, her back intelligently never facing me.

_Smart girl._

"I came to check on you, make sure you were doing well. I know how much you hate being alone."

My girl smiled and thanked Rosalie for her concern. I walked about the room, wanting to give Bella a bit of privacy to talk but feeling overly protective. No matter where I went though, Rose's eyes followed.

I finally stopped and glared at her, knowing full well she probably didn't trust me . . . hell, she didn't even like me. But Bella was the girl that I wanted. Needed. And Rose wasn't going to get in our way . . . friend or not.

"Bella, do you think you could get me something to drink? I'm parched . . . and I'm sure Edward is too."

I smirked in her direction, knowing full well she wanted to talk to me. The killer in me thrived on being alone with her, while the calmer side of me was trying to be rational. "That's not necessary, baby. I can get Rosalie a drink."

Bella's face screwed up. "Oh no, you're my guests and I didn't even ask! How rude . . . how is iced tea? Edward?"

She looked between us and we both merely nodded our heads. Bella backed up out of the room and said, "Please behave you two. I won't be long and I don't want to come back and pull the two of you off each other."

We both replied at the same time, "Yes Bella."

As soon as she was out of the room, we both stalked toward each other. We were mere inches away when I whispered menacingly, "What the fuck is your problem?"

Of course, Rosalie didn't hear me as she also said at the same time, "You better watch yourself with her."

"What do you mean watch myself with her?"

Rose rolled her eyes and I wanted to slap them right out of her skull. "Oh, come on, Edward. You can't be serious! Bella is a good girl and she's always done what's right. Then she comes along and meets you, has an AFFAIR, her husband tragically dies, and now she's with you? Don't tell me good guys are molded after you."

I bristled. "I'm not claiming to be the best guy out there, Rose. Far from it. But I do care for Bella . . . more than you'll ever know or understand. You can't stand there, in your designer heels, and judge me. You don't know me! For God's sake, you just met her a short time ago! It's not like you're this life-long friend of hers." I lowered my voice even more. "What's between Bella and me will stay between us, so keep your fucking nose out of it. I love her."

Her hands balled into fists by her side and her eyes caught fire. I'm not afraid of anyone, but Rose gave me a run for my money in the fierce department. Her height helped her seem intimidating. Add in the heels that probably acted like a weapon, and she was one scary ass motherfucker.

"You don't even know what love is. And I don't have to be a life-long friend to care for Bella. She's sweet Edward, and you're . . . not. You say I'm judging you, but am I wrong in my assumptions? Are you telling me that you're an all around swell guy? Because in my book, swell, perfect guys don't have affairs and then break the girls heart later. I don't know what you did, but Bella was depressed for a long time."

"Her husband had just died," I bit out.

She scoffed. "Please. We both know Mike was a joke of a husband and that she was never in mourning for him. I'm glad she's not married to him anymore. I'm just afraid you're not any better." Rose let out a big breath and softened her features. "Look, I just don't trust you, Cullen. I don't know why, but I don't. I do know that you're not good for Bella. She deserves her chance at happiness. Can you really make her happy?"

_Well . . . fuck_. I couldn't answer her. I wanted to. I even tried to open up my mouth to say so, but nothing came out. Holy shit . . . was Rose right?

She nodded, as if she understood where I was at in my mind and whispered in my ear, "Just don't hurt her. Don't break her. Make her happy and be there for her. If you can't do that . . . then please just leave."

I nodded, knowing full and well that I'd do everything in my power to make Bella the happiest person on the planet.

"And I still don't trust you." Rose backed up and folded her arms defiantly.

Bella came back in with drinks. "Iced tea?" I heard her voice trail off as she glanced at me. I tried to smooth out my features, but at the moment I was panic stricken.

_Can I make Bella happy? She makes me happy . . . but can I do the same for her?_

"Thanks Bella, but Jasper just called. I've got to run. I'll call you later?"

Bella nodded and led Rose to the front door. When she came back, I was good as new again, or better yet, I was a master at hiding my emotions.

"What happened? Are you okay? What did she say?"

"Nothing. You know how Rose is . . . just looking out for a friend."

She eyed my face closely and when she was satisfied, she hugged me. "Well, I don't need anyone to watch over me but you. You'll protect me from harm."

My heart sank. She trusted me. I hugged her back and my mind wandered.

_Oh Bella . . . who will protect you from me?_

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_Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to_—George Seaton

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**A/N:** Wow, we were not supposed to be this late getting this chapter out, but half of us were out of town for a while, and poor Lola lost her best friend and has been grieving. So, we've all been a lot busy and extremely distracted. We'd like to say we're sorry, but we aren't because real life has to come before Hitward sometimes. No worries, we are back on track again and hope you're excited to move forward in this story. I have a feeling this will be the last slow-paced chapter. Ready for some Hitward action? WE ARE!

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	21. 20 Consumed

**Wicked Angel**

**20. Consumed**

**

* * *

**

_I wanna feel the change consume me, _

_feel the outside turning in._

_I wanna feel the metamorphosis and _

_cleansing I've endured within my shadow._

_Change is coming._

—Tool

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The night Rose came over completely fucking ruined the mood for both of us, though I did get to hold her all night as she cuddled into the nook of my arm. We nooked. And it was incredible, even though my mind raced on how I continued to keep her in danger by continuing the jobs. A brilliant idea hit me then and I knew I'd have to plan it all out and present it to Bella. Because without her, the plan wouldn't work and I'd feel like a failure. And that I couldn't have . . . I wouldn't fail Bella.

Several days passed without incident. Until Saturday evening when Bella and I had a date. It was all casual and the usual: dinner and a movie. I couldn't even tell you what I ate because I was busy watching Bella delicately place juicy steak in her mouth. Of course my mind was in the gutter. I couldn't remember what the movie was because we were busy groping each other. I didn't even know why we tried when we could have just gone back to my place. I would have cooked . . . or burned our food.

I pulled up into my driveway, the moon lost behind the clouds and rain, and turned the truck off. Rivulets of water streamed down the windows as we sat in the quiet car. "Bella?"

Her deep brown eyes found mine. "Yes?"

"Do you trust me?" Though I'd asked this before, and she'd reassured me, it never hurt to double check.

"With my life."

My knee jumped up and down, nervous. Only she could make me feel that way.

"What's this about?" she asked quietly and scooted toward me. "Is everything all right? Do you need to . . . tell me something?"

"Yes. And no," I whispered in her hair as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Everything is perfect."

Bella shivered in my arms and I decided we needed to get inside before she got sick. I opened my door and pulled her towards me. We dashed toward the front door, laughing at the rain soaking our clothes within the twenty foot run. Once I unlocked the door, we rushed inside my warm house.

I pushed her up against the first wall I could find and pushed my body up against hers, our foreheads together.

"Edward? If everything is perfect . . . then what's wrong?" Bella's hands ran up my neck and her fingers tangled into my hair.

I stayed silent.

"Please, talk to me," she pleaded softly.

"Let's run away," I breathed. "Just you and me. We'll go get lost somewhere far away."

"Edward," Bella sighed my name in exasperation. "What about my friends and family?"

"You can keep in touch. We'll just do it discreetly. Anything you want . . . but let's just run away and get away from our demons." Now my voice was pleading.

Our lips touched for a tender moment, her sweet breath fanning my face. I waited with bated breath on what her response to my idea might be. She trailed kisses down my neck and her hands came down to rest over my heart.

"Okay," she murmured. "Let's do it. Just give me time to get my things together. I don't want to leave lose ends for Charlie to deal with."

"Really?" I asked, unsure if I'd heard her right.

"Really!" She smiled and I pulled her into my arms and circled her around the room.

"You just made me the happiest man on this planet!" I laughed and it felt so natural and real. "I've already made all the plans necessary."

"You did?" she asked as I placed her back on the ground. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." I grinned.

"Come on, tell me." She gave me puppy-dog eyes.

I shook my head. "No way. You said you trusted me—now trust."

Our lips collided greedily and I'd never felt so excited to have her sweet fucking mouth against mine. "I trust you," I heard her say over and over between our breathy kisses. She hooked her fingers under my shirt and lifted it over my head. I was erect and up against her small body, begging to break free. I'd let her decide if this was what she wanted—I wouldn't push. But I was having a real fucking hard time not just stripping her naked right there in the living room and taking her. But she was my fucking girl and deserved to be treated with respect.

She jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist as I stood there. My hands went under her ass to hold her up and her core aligned perfectly with my cock and I moaned, wishing there was no fabric between us. She also whimpered into my mouth and I knew this would be a long, pleasurable night.

"Upstairs?" I growled.

"Yes," she said breathlessly.

As I carried her toward the stairs she showered my neck and ears with kisses and it was becoming harder and harder to walk without my legs going out from under me. Only my girl could do that to me. No one fucking else could make me weak like she did. I don't know how I did it, but I made it up the stairs in one piece, my girl still latched on to me.

I pushed her up against the wall inside my bedroom and greedily took what I could from her. I rubbed my cock back and forth, up and down through our clothes and I felt like such a bastard for thinking about my own needs at the moment but she moaned, and begged for more as her fingernails clawed my back.

My palms glided up her ribs and cupped her breasts and she arched into my hands. "Oh, Bella. You are so beautiful."

"I'm ready," she moaned.

I ceased my movements. "Ready?"

"Yes. For you to consume me." Desire and need were obvious on her face. And if I thought I was hard before she said that—I was wrong. I might as well have been a limp noodle. Hearing those words pass her lips made me throb painfully against my pants.

She let go of my waist and dropped her legs to the ground. She was suddenly so much shorter than me and I towered over her. I reached out toward her and held her chin in my palm. She stared up at me expectantly, reading into my fucking soul. I tenderly took her lips with mine and let the soft movement become more than just me being a greedy mother fucker and Bella more than a pleading puddle of goo. I wanted this to be just right—our first time together truly since everything happened. It had to be perfect. She should have candles, a crackling fire, and music—fuck, she should have an entire orchestra playing for this moment, but I knew she wouldn't wait any longer.

The tips of our tongues touched softly and something inside of me came alive. Like a live wire had touched my skin and lit me from the inside. Without breaking apart our kiss, I pulled her shirt up and let my hands roam over her creamy skin. She reached down and yanked her shirt all the way up and over her head, our kiss breaking for only an instant before we were kissing softly again. My fingertips roamed around her exposed skin, goosebumps trailing in my wake. I unhooked her bra and she let it fall to the ground as I took her breasts into my hands. My lips kissed up her jaw, to her ear, down her neck, around her collar bone, and finally took her nipple into my mouth.

She moaned. Loudly. Really fucking loudly and my cock twitched in anticipation. I sucked and licked each one equally as her hands tugged at my hair and pushed me into her chest over and over. We were up against the wall again and I shoved my knee between her legs. Her legs straddled my thigh and she was warm against me. "I love you," I whispered against her neck. "Promise you'll never leave me."

"I won't," she promised as she melted into my touch and sunk down onto my thigh.

Her precious words, her promise to me, finally broke me. I unfastened her pants and let my fingers roam into her silky underwear. She gasped into my neck as my forehead leaned against her shoulder, my breaths rough. I cupped her core with my palm and could feel her heat and moisture and groaned into her shoulder. I bit down into her flesh and she shivered and just pulled me closer.

"I need you," I admitted as I slipped a finger inside her.

She called out and rocked against me. "I'm yours. All yours."

"Mine," I ground out as I moved in and out of her hot core.

Her breath was ragged and her hand reached for my pants. She unzipped my jeans and reached her hand into my boxer-briefs and I hissed in pleasure. She gripped me and I almost lost my composure. Almost. I twitched over and over in her small palm, trying my best to concentrate on her and not on me. But God she was good, no woman had ever known how to touch me like Bella did.

I could feel her legs tightening around my thigh and her muscles twitching around my finger. She was so, so close. And though I wanted to bring her pleasure, I knew I wouldn't give it to her. Not yet. I slowed my movements until I stopped completely. She whimpered at the loss of friction and kissed her neck where I had bit into her.

I removed my hands from her pants though she didn't stop touching me. She was making me pant into her mouth as I took her lips and let _her _consume _me_. "Bella," I panted. "Bella, please . . . stop."

She only gripped harder, her movements urgent and sure.

"No, Bella. This is about you," I murmured into her ear and pulled her hand away from me.

Her eyes found mine, pleading. Wanting. Needing. More . . .

"Take your pants off," I commanded.

She didn't hesitate as she stripped from her pants, leaving her standing against the wall in nothing but silky blue underwear. My breath caught in my throat and I wanted to pull the last bit of clothing away from her body with my teeth, though I resisted the urge.

"Your turn," she insisted. "Pants. Off. Now."

I smiled at her and dropped my pants, leaving nothing but my underwear. I opened my arms and she walked into them and hugged me close, our naked bodies warming instantly at the contact. Her cheek was pressed against my chest and I could feel tears there and I immediately began to shake with worry.

"What's wrong?" I asked while stroking her hair. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No. They're happy tears. You're just so beautiful and wonderful, and after everything we've been through I never thought I'd be happy again." She sniffled and pushed away to gaze up at me with her fathomlessly deep eyes. "I couldn't imagine my life without you. Edward I . . . I love you, too."

I wiped her tears away as she wiped mine away. I didn't even realize I had been shedding happy tears too.

She smiled sweetly at me as she climbed onto my bed and backed up, hooking her finger to ask me to join her. She bit her bottom lip and that was all it took. I crawled across the bed to her and reached her feet first. My fingers glided up her legs as I kissed up her ankle and to her knee. She squirmed as I roamed up one leg and realized I'd neglected the other. I started on her other leg from her ankle and kissed up to her upper thigh. She watched me under hooded eyes as she sat up on her elbows—fuck, I liked it when she watched me. My eyes caught hers as I continued to kiss and I lifted for a second to smirk at her and yanked her down so she was lying under me. She squealed but immediately moaned and gripped the sheets when I nibbled over her underwear. She smelled like the beach, fresh and crisp . . . and delicious.

Like I wanted to do, I pulled those underwear down with only my teeth and I thought she'd come just by the mere sight. I crawled back over her and kissed her soft lips. She pulled me down to her body by wrapping her legs around my waist and I nearly didn't resist the urge to yank my boxer-briefs off and slam into her.

"I'm going to make you squirm," I said against her mouth.

She shivered and traced her tongue around my lips in invitation. I ground my covered dick against her and delighted in the small bit of pleasure it gave us both. I sat up on my knees, her legs still wrapped around me, and rubbed and pinched on each of her nipples with one hand and let my other trail down between her legs. I traced all around her core until she was begging me to touch her, to penetrate her.

One finger slid inside and her legs immediately dropped from around my waist. I backed away, keeping one finger inside her while my thumb rubbed her clit. She was moaning and moving and rocking against just one single finger. My cock was so fucking hard I thought it'd burst with the sight. Then I kissed her clit and she literally screamed out, her fists pulling at the sheets, writhing on the bed. I sucked her into my mouth and removed my finger. She was whimpering and rocking into my face as I licked and dove my tongue deep inside her.

I knew she was close, so, so close again. I wanted her to come all over me, but I held her back. I stopped my movements and blew over her clit to cool it off. Her chest heaved and she was panting. Her skin was flushed with desire as she lay limp on the bed.

"So unfair," she breathed through her heavy breaths.

"Don't you worry, sweetheart. I'll make it worth it." I pulled my boxers off and my cock sprang forward. I crawled over her again and let my cock touch right where it wanted to be. "You're mine."

"All yours. I'm ready." She kissed my chest and ran her hands down my backside to beckon me forward.

The tip of my cock touched her entrance and my head lowered to her neck, my breathing already labored. I entered her slowly, cautiously. So afraid she'd tell me to stop and run away. But she didn't; her fingers got lost in my hair as her heels pushed at my ass, begging me to go deeper. So I did. Deep. Deeper. We rocked together slowly, sensually. I gasped as she bit my neck, marking me like I did her and in that moment I realized that she truly was mine and I was hers and we were connected in so many ways. This was just another one of those. Gently I moved in and out of her. In and out. In and out. Our heartbeats became one and so did our breaths. We moved back and forth with our slick skin. Our lips met briefly here and there, though mostly we stared deeply into each other's eyes and shared the moment together.

We flipped over and Bella lay against my chest as she moved and writhed above me, her nipples rubbing lightly against my chest, her hair a curtain around us. Again I knew she was getting close, and so was I, but I wanted to prolong this amazing feeling, the desire in my veins, the slick sweat between us. I rose up and held her still above me, though she fought against my constraint and continued to move against my cock. I was on the edge, trying to hold it back.

"Bella," I gasped.

"I'm so close, Edward. Don't stop me. So close . . ."

"I want this to last longer. Forever," I gasped as she pulled free from me and gave one hard thrust. "Fuck. Bella. Stop."

My grip was failing and my jaw tightened as I grasped for my last bit of hope of not exploding.

"Just let it all go, Edward. Let it all go," Bella murmured against my ear. "You're mine."

Her possessiveness did it for me and I grabbed her waist and yanked her from my throbbing cock. She gasped and was about to argue with me until I threw her onto the bed and shoved back inside her. I growled as I slammed into her over and over and over. In a matter of seconds she was screaming out my name and I was holding her tiny waist as I thrust into her again. She shouted out louder than I'd ever heard her as her thighs tightened around my waist and her pussy walls grasped my dick and begged me to release. And I did. I exploded into her and yelled out too as I shoved in deeper and filled every inch of her with me. Even after she collapsed into my grip I was still coming inside her, jerking and shaking in pleasure until I finally dropped on top of her.

Her chest was heaving, as was mine. Our breaths were ragged and rough and heated.

"That was mind-blowing," she rasped.

I nodded in agreement and held her close to me as I finally pulled out, unable to move. I dragged the sheet over us and we tangled our sweaty legs together. We were both asleep in minutes.

The next morning I woke up to birds fucking chirping and a song in my heart. Any second I expected small animals of the forest to be talking to me and helping me get ready. I kissed Bella on the forehead as I got up and took a shower. It felt amazing to be under the warm water as last night's events ran through my mind. And, of course, I was hard immediately. The shower door opened and I glanced up from under the water to see Bella enter.

"Morning baby." I held my arms open and she walked into them and right under the warm water. "How do you feel?"

"Like Jell-O." She giggled. "Fucking wonderful."

I laughed with her as I began to lather her up and washed the remnants of last night away. Which was too bad, I'd miss that scent on her—the scent of _us_—but all right because I planned to have many, many nights of sex all over her that I could wash off the next day. And shower sex too.

After a very happy morning in the shower, we went downstairs to find something to eat. We were both ravished and devoured almost an entire package of bacon between the two of us.

"So," Bella hedged, "what do I need to take with me?"

"Anything that can be replaced I'll buy you," I told her seriously. "Only take what is most important to you."

She smiled at me as I grabbed her hand and brought her to the couch. "That's easy. The only thing that's important to me is you."

We both lay down on the couch, she partially on top of me. "I feel the same way." I sighed.

"Where're we going?" she asked, curious.

"It's a surprise, but I promise it'll be sunny. A lot," I assured her.

"Edward . . . you won't ever leave me. Will you?" Bella's voice was so unsure and uncertain.

"Never. Our time apart was . . . God, it was horrible." Only for Bella I'd be this man. Only for my fucking girl would I be this sap.

It was silent for a really long time and soon we were both sleeping, cuddled together on the couch. Last night took a lot out of both of us.

A ringing woke me, sort of. I was still mostly asleep, though I did feel Bella reach into her pocket and pull out her phone. She answered, her voice raspy with sleep.

"Hello?"

I cuddled into her more and kissed her neck sleepily.

Bella's voice lowered to a whisper. "Of course I'm with Edward." Pause. "Rose!" Another long pause. "I love him and there isn't anything you can do or say—" She sighed heavily and planted a kiss on my forehead. "Of course he's been a gentleman."

I moaned against her neck and licked slightly.

"Rose! Stop it! Yes I'm still at his house." An exasperated sigh this time. "Of course we were together all night."

She pulled the phone away from her ear as Rosalie shouted into it. "Are you sure? He didn't leave you for any time?"

My eyes popped open at her probing questions . . . her strange questions. Bella was about to reply, but I snatched the phone from her hand before she could.

"Rose," I said sleepily, yet testily, "we're trying to take a nap on the couch because we had a very loooong night with each other. Naked. In my bed."

I heard her snort angrily into the phone. "I really don't want to know."

"Then why are you asking?" I grumbled into the phone.

"Never mind! Tell Bella I'll call her later." The phone went dead.

I handed the phone back to Bella. "Well, that was interesting. Why was she asking if you were here with me all night?"

She shrugged. "Hell if I know." She sighed. "It's getting kinda late. I do have things I need to do."

My arms squeezed her closer to me. "But I don't want you to leave," I breathed into her hair.

"I don't want to either." She paused, contemplating. "You could . . . come with me?"

"Thank God!" I exclaimed. "It's much easier to follow you when I'm invited along."

She slapped my chest. "Edward!"

"What?" I asked playfully. "I would have."

"For some reason that doesn't surprise me," said Bella with a grin.

That afternoon I took her to the grocery store, though she didn't have to buy much considering we'd be leaving in a week, and to the laundry mat where she had clothes waiting, already folded and hung. The last place we stopped, before Bella had to do some chores around her house, was the bank. My phone rang as I was pulling into the parking lot.

It was Emmett so I answered it thinking it'd just be one of those bull-shitting around kind of conversations. "It's Emmett. I'll take this call while you're inside."

She nodded and got out of the car as I answered.

"Hey Em! What's going on?" I asked jovially.

"Alistair just showed up dead on the street only a block from your house. What the hell is going on?" He truly sounded confused and in that second my stomach dropped.

"Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!" I shouted and hit my hand on the steering wheel.

"I thought you took care of that?"

"I told him to run," I admitted heatedly.

"If you didn't kill him, then who did?" I was so surprised that he didn't accuse me of being a traitor that it took me aback.

"I-I don't know?" It came out as a question. My eyes literally darkened in the rearview mirror. "Jake."

"Something's going down, Edward, and I suggest you get the hell out of town. Take Bella with you. Rose and I are already planning on skipping town," he admitted.

"Wait. What?" My mouth hung agape for several seconds. "What's going on, Emmett?"

"You want to be a better man for Bella, and I want to be a better man for Rosalie."

His words rushed through me too quickly as I connected the conversation this morning with the conversation I was having with Emmett now. "Why was Rosalie asking if Bella was with me all night last night?" I was suddenly angry.

"She suspects you of Alistair's murder," he admitted sheepishly.

My anger exploded. "What the fuck Em? Why does she suspect me of all people? WHY? God dammit!"

"Fuck, Edward. She saw me kill that dick who tried to rape her."

"She what!" I fucking yelled, furious. "Is that why you were so fucking sloppy? God, you fucking idiot!"

"Don't talk to me like that, Edward!" he yelled back. "What about the shit between you and Bella? Whatever. It doesn't matter. Rose didn't turn me in and has been grateful. But ever since she's suspected you and Jake since you also helped me out."

"Oh my God you fucking moron! You told her we helped you?" I was so angry I thought steam would shoot from my ears.

"I'm sorry! Dammit." I heard Emmett growl into the phone "I made a fucking mistake, but right now that's the least of our worries. Rose and I are leaving town this weekend. But you and Bella need to get the hell out of here now. Jake obviously knows you didn't kill that fucker, so he did it for you and left you a message on the street."

"Shit. Shit. Shit," I chanted. "Thanks Em."

"Just get the fuck out of town. Now!"

"Okay."

We both hung up and I realized two things at once. First, that might be the last time I ever talk to Emmett again, and two, Bella was alone in the bank. My heart went nuts as I scrambled out of the car and ran toward the bank. _Oh, God please let Bella be okay. Please let her be okay_.

Inside the bank I saw Bella smile as she deposited a check and turned around with her receipt. She caught my eye and grinned wider as she came forward. But the closer she got her smile lost its luster and soon she held panic in her eyes. I held my hand out to her and she reached for me. As soon as our fingers touched I felt relieved.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly as I tucked her under my arm.

"Please don't be upset, but we have to leave town now." I kissed the top of her head, hoping she wouldn't freak out on me and decide to stay.

"Why?"

"Jake knows I didn't kill that guy, Bella. He knows." I opened the door and ushered her through. "He killed him and dumped the body around the block from my house."

"Are you in danger, Edward?" she asked, concern lacing her tone.

"I'm not worried about me," I told her seriously. "It's you I'm worried about."

"Oh," she said breathlessly as her face became etched with fear. Her hand automatically went up to her shoulder where she had been shot.

"I'll take care of you, baby. I promise. If he tries to lay a finger on you I'll kill him." My voice had darkened.

She gripped me tight around the waist. "Okay. Let's go."

Outside I opened her door and she hopped into my truck. I ran around the front and jumped inside and started the engine. The truck growled to life as I shoved it into reverse. When I looked behind me to back out, an awfully familiar truck stopped behind me and several boys from the reservation hopped out and surrounded the truck.

"Fuck," I cursed and yanked Bella into my side. "Buckle your seat belt."

She did as tears slid down her face. Her breath was frantic and all I could think about was getting her to safety. I slammed the gas down in reverse as hard as I could, and my truck smashed into Jake's. I pushed it across the parking lot until I was clear to go forward. Without any thought I rammed the gear into first and tore out of the parking lot.

"Sweetie, I need you to call your father and tell him those boys at the res are after you." I chanced a look at her as she gripped the dash in front of her.

"You want me to call the cops?" She turned and gaped at me.

"Yes. Call your father." I tried to say it calmly.

She did as I told her as we sped down the road. Fuck staying in town. I had my wallet, she had hers—we'd go straight to the fucking airport.

Suddenly there were two vehicles chasing after us down the road. I sped up faster and faster, almost too fast for the road.

"Bella!" I shouted, trying to get her attention.

She turned to me with horror in her eyes.

"If anything happens, if we wreck, don't worry about me. Run," I commanded her.

"Edward! I can't do that." Tears streamed down her face. "I won't leave you."

"Yes, you will, Bella. I can't lose you, I just can't. If something happens to me and I can't run with you, I need you to. Just run as fast as you can. Keep your phone with you. Make sure you turn it on silent and call your father. Let him know what's going on, where you're at. Can you promise me that?"

She stared at me with her mouth open.

"Promise me!" I shouted.

"I promise," she cried.

I put the car in neutral, locked in the four-wheel drive, slammed the clutch in, and popped the car into a lower gear as I twisted the wheel. The truck slid sideways until we were facing the opposite direction. "Hold on!" I commanded as I slammed the truck into first gear and went straight for the douches coming our direction.

"Edward! Edward!" Bella screamed as I refused to falter.

The first truck skidded off the road and flipped over and over until they hit the forest next to us with a huge bang as the truck exploded.

Bella screamed and I reached for her hand. "It's okay, baby."

Terror clouded her eyes but she squeezed my hand back right before I took it back to change gears again. The other truck in the distance had stopped and so did I. We faced each other and revved our engines. This was the battle of wits.

"Get out of the truck." I glanced over at her. "Run and call your father again. Make sure he picks you up then call me. I'll come get you."

"No!" she shouted back.

"Bella," I said, exasperated. "This could get ugly. I need you to be safe. This—" I waved my hand around to the heated situation about to go down "—is not safe!"

"No," she said stubbornly and folded her arms.

"Please," I begged.

She reached over and grabbed my hand. "No," she said again. "We are in this together!"

I sighed and rammed my foot into the gas. "Don't die," I whispered under my breath.

"Only if you do," she whispered back.

I was startled by her words and a little unnerved, but I kept going forward, the white truck flying toward me. I could tell it was Jake the closer we got, and I was right about him chickening out first. His truck slid sideways right in front of mine, but I wasn't able to stop before I clipped the back of his truck and we skidded in the other direction, flying off into a ditch and crashing into a tree. My head slammed into the door frame and all went black.

My fucking phone was ringing. I groaned and reached for Bella but she wasn't there. My eyes flew open as I looked around for her frantically. My phone continued to ring as smoke rose from the front of the truck in wisps. I was dizzy and out of it. I reluctantly answered the phone.

"Edward!" screeched Alice. "What the fuck is going on? Bella's in trouble. Jake's got her at the shack!" Her voice rose in hysteria. "He's planning on killing her."

My heart stopped beating and I had to tell myself to breathe. _Oh fuck. Not Bella. Please, not Bella_.

"I'm on my way!" I threw the phone down and felt anger boiling my blood. Why the fuck was Jake doing this? If he hurts one hair on her head I will cut every finger and toe off. And other important appendages . . . like his dick! I'll make him beg me to kill him.

I tried to start the truck and it spluttered. "Fuck!" I slammed my fist into the dash. I noticed there was blood on my hand and flipped the mirror down to check out the damage. Blood soaked one side of my face and down my shirt. "Dammit," I yelled to no one.

My hands began to shake with pure hatred. _This is NOT the fucking time to get nervous! Pull yourself together Cullen!_ I threw my door open and ran as fast as my feet would carry me through the dense forest, clinging to any hope I could. Alice said he planned on killing her, not that she was dead. Fuck!

I picked up speed, branches slicing my skin and my feet slipping on wet rocks. I didn't give a flying fuck! I needed to get to Bella—now. Instinctually I knew I was close to the shack in the woods.

"Bella!" I called out, frantic. "Hold on baby! I'm coming!" Fuck, I hoped she could hear me.

_Please, please be all right. Please!_ I begged God.

"Edward!" Bella shouted through the trees. Relief flooded over me so quickly I almost stumbled and fell.

_Boom. Boom. Boom. _

Three gunshots rang out, the first one stopping me dead in my tracks and the next two bringing me to my knees. "NOOOOOOO!" I cried out in horror. My ears rang with the sound of each shot. Tears slid down my face and I wiped them away as I stood and ran toward the shack, a new mission to complete: Kill Jake.

* * *

_These violent delights have violent ends  
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,  
Which as they kiss consume._

—William Shakespeare, _Romeo and Juliet_, 2.3

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**A/N:** We love our fans. Thanks for sticking it out and we appreciate all of your reviews. Until next time . . .

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	22. 21 Wicked Angel

**Wicked Angel**

**21. Wicked Angel

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_We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another_—Luciano de Crescenzo

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"_Do you trust me?"_

"_With my life."_

Haunting, poignant, persistent, and eerily evocative. I heard those words in my head—over and over. I felt like I was running in slow motion. Even if I was some sort of supernatural being, a vampire perhaps, I couldn't have gotten to Bella fast enough.

"_You're like my savior tonight, like some angel who just appeared out of nowhere ready to help those in need."_

Shock was the first phase of grief. I'd heard about it, witnessed it time and time again at the funeral home. But this . . . it was real, and I couldn't afford to be shocked.

When all else fails, I list and define.

Shock:something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.

Fuck that, I needed my mind. My girl needed me to be in control. She trusted me with her life, being in control wasn't an option—it was the only way.

I skipped right to denial.

Denial: rejection of the truth.

My brain wouldn't—couldn't—process that any of those gunshots were aimed at her. I hoped, prayed, and begged all the gods known and unknown that she had time to make that call to her father.

"_I-I'm sorry. You're a total stranger just being helpful; you don't need any of my drama."_

"_You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm just here to fix your tire."_

This day, I feared, would not end as it began. There would be no forest animals talking to me or a merry song in my heart. No. And honestly I didn't give a shit if I ever woke up to the birds chirping again if it meant Bella was . . .

There was no way I could formulate the word. Denial was my best friend, and my worst enemy.

There was no way I let her down. No way. I worked so hard for her trust and I couldn't just let her down now when it meant the most. There was no way she was dead. She couldn't possibly be hurt. _She_ fired the gun. _She_ killed Jake. That was the only scenario I would let myself believe, the only one that could exist. I'd rip the fabric of time to pieces to make it true if I had to.

The next phase.

Bargaining: to exchange or trade.

_Take me. Shoot me! Fucking kill _me_!_ I screamed it in my head. _Not her. Please!_ I wasn't sure who exactly I was bargaining with, but there had to be someone to bargain with, someone, some thing, or god that would accept the trade of her life for mine, to put three bullets in me, not in her. All they had to do was tell me what to do and I would in a heartbeat. Hell, I'd cut my own heart out with my fingers if that was what was necessary.

"_What would you do if she didn't love you back?"_

"_I'd let her go."_

I'd even give her up—sell my soul to the devil, just show me the fucking line to sign. I would write my name in my own fucking blood.

**Edward Anthony Cullen**** promises to spend eternity in the depths of hell in exchange of the life of Isabella Marie Swan.**

Cut me open. Let the words seep into the paper. Let the blood stain and fix this horrible mistake.

"_Then I tried to be the hero…."_

"_Yeah, you seem to do that a lot."_

Who did I think I was, Superman? Did I really think I could keep her safe? I was a hit man for crying out loud!

The next phase.

Guilt: self-reproach for wrong doing.

If she was dead, so was I. I shouldn't have been so fucking selfish. I should have let her go. Letting her go, even if we were both miserable, was better than death. I could have lived with that, but not my mistakes and sins that she was paying for. Of all the deeds I've done, all the lines I crossed, this was the one I'd never forgive myself for. Ever. If I wasn't such a monster—if I hadn't killed all those people . . . Bella wouldn't be inside that shack, dying . . . or . . .

No.

I wasn't fucking Superman, but I let her become Lois Lane. I could have done a million things differently since I fell in love with her to make sure she was never put in the role of damsel in distress. This was my fault and I had no one to blame but myself.

The sky grew dark. A flash of lighting lit up the sinister sky, followed by a clap of thunder. The rain drenched me. My hair hung in my eyes, which I was sure resembled a man on fire. The lines of my face were tense and rigid.

I couldn't let my emotions get in the way of what needed to be done. I reached the shack, trying to leave the shock, denial, bargaining, and guilt behind. I prepared myself for the worst.

"_Don't die."_

"_Only if you do."_

I shoved the door open so violently I was surprised it stayed on its rusted hinges. Anger. This was the emotion I needed now.

The next phase—the one that could save her.

Anger: a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

My shirt clung to my chest; my blood stains tinged a rusty orange from the rain. The bottom of my jeans were covered in mud.

It was as black as the greatest, deepest, most fathomless abyss. My eyes searched the demolished house.

"_Bella?_" I called out, frantic.

This was where it had all began, and I feared that this was where it would end.

_Why didn't she fucking answer me?_

"Fuck!" My voice was a soft cry, a plea, before I yelled out again, "_Bella?_"

Then I saw it.

"_Why can't I stay away from you?"_

The blood.

"_Edward . . . what you do to me . . . I-I've never felt like this before."_

Splatters.

"_I'm done with trying to push you away. I don't know how far we can go, Edward, but I can't deny my feelings for you any longer."_

Footprints.

"_Bella, honey . . . what did you do? Where are you?"_

"_I'm so sorry . . ._Oh God_, I'm_so_sorry . . . I don't know what to do . . . blood . . . there's blood everywhere! I can't get it off . . . I'm making a mess! Please . . ._please help me_. Edward . . . please help me! I'm scared!"_

Smears across the floor.

I swallowed back the bile I felt rise from my stomach. I needed to be the cold blooded killer right now. Bella couldn't afford for me to be _her _Edward, even if he was the better person. That Edward wouldn't be able to save her now.

Using the small amount of light from the lightning I followed the trail of blood. My heart pounded so hard against my chest I was surprised it didn't explode. My breath was ragged and uneven, and my skin was flushed with so many mixtures of emotions I was about to combust. At this point I didn't care who I had to kill, or how I had to kill them, to save Bella.

Those blood smears turned into a pool of blood at my feet. I closed my eyes tightly before reopening them because in the middle of that puddle was my girl. All the emotions, all the listing and defining disappeared at the sight. There was only one thing I felt. Overwhelming hopelessness.

"_. . . do whatever you have to do to keep it. Love is hard to come by—you shouldn't let it slip away. Love is messy, son. It's not always pretty and perfect. You have to fight to keep it, even if it means that others don't agree. Don't let anyone get in your way."_

I dropped to my knees and her blood—_her life_—soaked my jeans. Her hand shook as she reached for me. "I'm sorry," she choked out.

She was sorry? No. I was the sorry one. A sorry son-of-a-bitch.

I took her hand in mine and kissed it. I held back the hostile sobs I felt building in my chest. "_Shhh_, don't be sorry, Bella. _I'm_ sorry. I'll fix this. You're going to be fine. Trust me." It was so unfair to ask that of her because I didn't even know.

"With my life," she whispered weakly. I nodded at her, the tears finally spilling down my cheeks and mixing with her blood.

"You're the only thing that matters to me," I told her with such sincerity I might as well have pulled my heart free and put it in her hands. I removed my flimsy T-shirt, ripped it in half, and searched for the gunshot wounds. _Wounds_—multiple. I choked on a sob.

One in her chest. I pressed the shirt over it. "Try to hold it," I pleaded with her. "Lots of pressure, okay? For me?" She could barely hold her hand up, so I helped her place it over the T-shirt.

"_I'm scared."_

"_Don't be scared, I am going to take care of you."_

Another bullet in her thigh.

"_I love you."_

I took off my belt and made a tourniquet above it and she hissed in pain. My muscles were wound so tight that her cry of pain almost snapped them. I wasn't even sure how she held back screaming. Her breathing was becoming shallow and labored. I took note of her pulse when I held her hand. It was over a hundred. I wasn't sure how long she could hold on until she went into shock or until she bled . . . to death.

My teeth snapped together as I shook with anguish and anger that intensified each second.

I searched for the third. "My arm," Bella said grimly and motioned to her left arm with her head. The wound was a clean hole from one side to the other, though her arm lay limply to her side. Her eyes began to roll in the back of her head.

"_You can't leave me! Please, you make me a better man! I can't do this without you! Don't fucking leave me! I know I'm fucked up! I know I need help! Please, I need you!"_

"Don't you dare leave me, Bella! I fucking love you," I expressed in the hollowest of tones, and then kissed her lips gently. There was blood on her mouth and I gasped in several rough breaths. She was going . . . but she couldn't . . . but she was going to . . . die.

I fell apart in the most undignified way, collapsing against her, holding her to me, and crying all the tears I'd kept hidden deep inside me for years. I'd finally found meaning to my life and it was just taken away in the worst way. Bella was still warm, but limp in my arms. She didn't respond to my cries, touches, or kisses.

It was like I could read his thoughts and knew Jacob was witnessing my despair. "Jake!" I snarled out and let Bella fall limply from my arms as I rose to my feet. "Show yourself, you piece of shit!"

A light clicked on and the room was bathed in a soft glow. The sight before me was gruesome—blood was everywhere.

"_She's been saying your name in her sleep at night."_

"_I don't think she wants me around, Charlie."_

"_I don't care what that means, as long as you can bring the life back into my daughter."_

"Nice try, but that won't save her," he said dryly while cleaning off his gun. He was all casualness, completely unconcerned as he stared fixedly at my hand over Bella's worst wound. "I know it's tough; you liked her. But that isn't who you are and now we can get back to the old days."

"Like her? I fucking love her!" My voice rang with conviction. "And you fucking took her from me! I'm not sure what the fuck you were thinking, Jacob, but you just signed your death certificate," I promised so smoothly and with such earnestness Jacob flinched. I didn't let any emotion into my voice. I wanted him to know his death didn't mean anything to me but a means to an end. I didn't give a fuck if we were like brothers at one time—family didn't do this to you. His life was forfeit.

"You wouldn't," he said, unbelieving.

"If that makes you feel better about all this, you can die in denial." I shrugged with all the nonchalance I could muster. My Glock was always tucked in my pants.

Not today.

Not a day that started so . . . so fucking blissful. Not a day with my girl. Not a day when things were so mundane, yet extraordinary. Simply because I was with her. Accepted. Not some serial killer unworthy of her love and trust. Not the first day I finally felt like a fucking man.

"_I've missed you every day you've been gone."_

If I had to tear his eyes out with my fingers and kick him until he busted open like a piñata at a kids fucking birthday party . . . I would. And I'd enjoy the prize within.

"I'm the one with the gun," Jacob pointed out. He raised it and moved it back and forth in his hand, teasing me with it.

"I never needed one of those to kill anyone," I reminded him with indifference. "The gunshot holds no fear, remember Jacob?" He'd remember how we spent hours desensitizing ourselves to the sound so it never made us jump. Never spooked us or caught us off guard.

He pointed the gun at me and I didn't show fear. I sighed like I was bored.

"You . . . you blew it!" Jacob sounded like he was losing it, his calm façade dissolving. "You were an artist Edward—your art was death. I gave you a masterpiece when I handed over that bitches file!" I could see the anger rise in his dark eyes. The veins in his neck throbbed and his hand shook. "This is your fucking fault! It didn't have to end this way!"

"No Jake, you could have just fucking accepted that it was over. Accepted that I moved on. Why you choose to fuck with the one thing in the world that I love is beyond me. It didn't have to end like this, you're right. We all didn't have to fucking die here today," I said darkly.

"_You make me want to change. You make me want to be a better man."_

I wasn't sure why exactly his hand was so uncertain on the trigger. Why he hesitated to shoot me.

"All I wanted was for you to give a shit," he yelled at me as angry tears filled his eyes. Spit flew from his mouth when he shouted. "We could have been together!"

I strode smoothly toward him while shaking my head. "I didn't want a war with you, Jake. If I didn't give a shit, I would have killed you months ago."

"About me? Ever since she came into your life you haven't given a shit about _me_!" he cried, pointing the gun into his chest. Then it hit me. Jake was _passionately_ upset. He was in love with . . . me.

Jacob continued to stare maddeningly at me . . . except this time I noticed something in his eyes that wasn't there before. It was love . . . but a deranged, psychotic type of love. He was pleading for me to understand. "Don't you see Edward? Me and you . . . we could've been great together! We _were_ great together. We could have that again. Don't you see? Forget Bella and come back. I'll take you back Edward. I-I love you."

I couldn't believe it. Jacob honestly thought I would rather go back to him than stay here with my beloved, dying Bella. Whom _he_ shot. "You are fuckin' insane Jake. How could you possibly think I care about you, let alone love you? You've always disgusted me. Why do you think I never hung around when you started your fuck sessions? You repulse me. I could never, ever love you. No one could."

My words had the effect I was hoping for. His face crumpled. I realized then that I was the one person who could hurt him . . . who could make him feel emotional pain. I relished in the power that I never knew I had over him. And in this moment, it would be his undoing.

"_Jacob . . . he can be . . . unpredictable. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Just . . . if I asked you to stay away from him, would you?"_

"_Does he want to hurt me?"_

I took a few more steps forward. He pointed the gun back at me. "Shoot me," I dared him. "Go ahead. It won't be enough to save you! You think your tough, Jacob? _Huh_?" I goaded him. "There is no such thing as tough. There is trained and untrained. You don't have the training or my mentality I have. That's why I did the killing. You. _Can't_. Kill. Me."

The uncertainty on his face lasted a split second before resolve made its way back. His words quickly spilled out. "If I can't have you, no one can have you." He fired the gun and the bullet hit my side. I stumbled back a little, but that didn't stop me as I charged forward. He was bigger and stronger, but I had more skills. I also had one of the deadliest sins on my side: wrath. I rammed my head into his stomach and seized the arm that held the gun. Jacob's back hit the wall with a thud and I smashed his hand repeatedly against the wall until he lost his grip on the gun. It fell to the concrete floor with a clank.

I punched him in the gut which caused him to bend over in pain with a grunt. I hooked my fingers into his mouth and held the back of his head with my other hand.

"Fuck! Edward!" Jacob struggled to speak.

"_You were just lost. You're home with me."_

"Time to go to hell, mother fucker," I whispered in his ear. With one fierce jerk I snapped his neck.

I'd always wanted to do that. It was the most satisfying kill of my life, but not satisfying enough. I let go and he fell limply to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut.

"_You'll protect me from harm."_

I rushed back to Bella, lifted her from the ground, and proceeded to walk away. It didn't occur to me until then how badly it hurt when I breathed. "Fuck," I hissed. I was so close to the door, but I couldn't make it. My back slammed against the wall and I slid down, my girl in my arms, and the growing puddle of crimson slithering its way to us from where we were.

"_Edward, I owe Jake my life. If it wasn't for him his father would have killed me! I have seen this play out a dozen different ways and none of them are happily-ever-afters. They are messy and people I love end up dead."_

I heard the distinct sound of heels clicking against the concrete along with soft, slow clapping. My eyes didn't move from Bella. I didn't need to be psychic to know it was Alice.

"Bravo!" Alice exclaimed with a manic gleam in her eye, as if she was possessed with the very root of evil.

"Are you here to help?" I asked tersely. "Or to make sure you finish us off?" I looked up at her, meeting her cold and empty eyes.

"Help?" Her voice was high and tinkling, like laughter was on the edge of it. "Oh yes. I'm here to help myself."

I'd always trusted her. I trusted her more than all of them and I knew, in that moment, it was my undoing. It was my biggest mistake.

Since we got the job with Bella, and I started to see Alice's doubt, I should have ended her. I should have, could have—now all fucking useless. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I must be a mad man! Who in their right mind gives a crazy-ass pixie that sees the future the benefit of anything?

She crouched down on her heels in front of us, letting her finger dip in the blood. "Why, Edward?" she asked. "You could have had everything with us, but you wasted it." She stood up and smoothed her shirt like she was trying to wipe something filthy from it.

"Fuck you, Alice," I spat.

She ignored me and continued on without a care in the world. "Well," she sighed theatrically, "Jacob didn't aim very well, did he? It'll get the job done, though, just not as fast as you'd like, I'm sure. Oh well, it works out well for me because I would love a chance to explain."

"Explain what?" I gasped out, my side cramping.

"Well, you know, I saw Bella years ago in Phoenix. We just happened to have crossed paths when she came to the carnival. She's still such a lovely girl. I knew she was trouble and tried so hard to keep her from your life. But it wasn't until last night I saw she'd divide us. Nothing but a little wicked angel, isn't she?" Her chilled eyes inventoried Bella with pure, malicious hate. "You and her, happily in love. You were going to shun us all. Be ashamed of what and who you are. Ashamed of _us_. It fucking pisses me off that no matter what I did that wicked little angel always showed up."

"You can't change fate," I said fiercely.

"But I did, don't you see? Little Mikey? Do you really think that Jake's rez boys would hang out with someone like him? Or that Jake would take a case like that on such flimsy grounds? Poor Jake was oblivious—stupid idiotic fool. He always did have a soft spot for you. It turned him on to see you in your element. I'm actually surprised you didn't see it sooner. Ah well. It was a risk and I hoped for the best. Hoped you'd be strong enough to overcome this Wicked Angel, but you weren't.

"And Rosalie and Jasper? They're my friends who I made befriend Bella and influence her decisions. I mean, did you really think your Wicked Angel got mad enough all by herself to gruesomely murder Lauren Mallory? Rose fueled that fire. But then you had to fucking help Bella and involve Emmett."

I glared at her with all the fury I could gather.

Alice paced across the small shack before she stopped and faced us. "This should have inspired you to greatness, but instead you choose to die in her arms." She came forward and stood over us, an evil pixie gloating in her success. "But you know what? She isn't going to the same place you are; you're going to burn in hell."

Alice pivoted around and stretched like this was just a relaxing vacation. Bella moved in my arms and I held my breath, so surprised she was even alive. Then I saw Bella grab something off the floor. I smiled down at my Wicked Angel.

"See you there, you crazy-ass pixie," I said as Bella fired six shots into Alice. She slumped to the ground, lifeless.

Surprisingly, Bella reached her hand to my bare chest. Her fingers moved down to my side where the bullet had entered, leaving a trail of blood.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Is he . . . dead?" Bella struggled to ask me.

I nodded weakly. "Did you call for help?"

"I promised . . . my phone is on . . . to nine-one-one—" she paused to catch her breath "—since before he shot me." She groaned and a gurgling noise erupted from her chest. With more strength than I realized I was able to place pressure over her chest again. She had a collapsed lung and her breathing was so labored I wasn't even able to tell how bad mine was.

"Don't waste your energy," I advised and pulled her phone from her front pocket. I put it to my ear and talked. I didn't feel like I was even in my body. It felt like I was watching it all happen above me.

Detached. All hope was fading. The next phase.

Depression: feeling despondent.

I calmly stated my name to the operator, telling her we had both been shot. I asked how much longer until help arrived. They had located the shack by tracing the call and were on their way. Would it matter? An ambulance would have been useless; Bella needed a helicopter. She needed a hospital in Seattle. The woods were too dense for help to arrive in time. I thanked the operator. She told me not to disconnect the call, so I placed the phone down.

I didn't want our last moments grasping to life with someone telling us lies: that help would be here soon. Just not soon enough.

"_I love you, Edward Cullen."_

"_I've been waiting to hear those words from your voice my whole life. I love you, Isabella__Swan."_

I smiled. Final phase.

Acceptance: acknowledgement, affirmation, admission.

I was practically dead—but our undying love would surpass even the ultimate ending of death. I sat up and placed her head in my lap to stroke her hair. She moved her hand to where mine was covering her chest wound.

My ears were buzzing and the world had black edges to it. My heart beat in my head, throbbing violently.

_I would not kill Isabella Newton. I couldn't. I thought that if__I__was the one who took her life that it would be beautiful and glorious, but there was nothing beautiful or glorious about Bella lying in a puddle of blood. Nothing at all; it was utterly heartbreaking._

"Let go, Edward," Bella commanded softly, exactly how she had last night.

"_Edward . . . you won't ever leave me. Will you?" _

"_Never."_

"I can't," I confessed, shaking my head. I would die trying to save her. I wouldn't give up on her. On me, sure. Not on her. I could accept my death, but not hers. "Don't ask me to," I pleaded, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "I love you," I said, feeling my eyes getting heavier. My stomach was queasy and I was dizzy.

"I love you too. Always in my heart I will carry you with me." I couldn't believe she was comforting me.

"See you soon," I said as our lips touched.

"Don't die," I whispered under my breath.

"Only if you do."

I knew I managed to give her my last smile.

"_It's more than a need, Edward. It's an ache, deep within my soul. I need you like I need air, without you I'll suffocate. Please . . . just touch me, make me feel . . ._something_, anything but the pain I feel when you aren't touching me."_

Bella went limp in my arms as we embraced the eternal darkness together.

* * *

_Touched by angels, though I fall out of grace  
I did it all so maybe I'd live this every day_

_And we'll love again, we'll laugh again__  
We'll cry again and we'll dance again  
And it's better off this way__  
So much better off this way__  
I can't clean the blood off the sheets in my bed_

—My Chemical Romance

* * *

**A/N:** Oh, hi there lovely fan. Thanks for reading the final chapter of Wicked Angel. Are you crying? Gasping for air? No worries, dear reader. There _will_ be an epilogue. A very important, _crucial_ epilogue. There you will find out the fate of all our characters, and all your questions will be answered . . . well, maybe not _all_ of them. ;-) We _are _devilish that way. Regardless, we have one final twist in store for you. And we'd like to inform you that since January—when we posted the prologue—no one has guessed the ending. That's right, beautiful readers, not a single person who has shared their predictions has figured out the last, and final, twist to Wicked Angel.

::Rubs hands together delightfully:: Sit on that for a few days as we finalize the epilogue. ::wink::

xoxo

DP aka FSX

* * *

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


	23. Epilogue

**Wicked Angel**

**Epilogue**

**Alice**

* * *

_I'm swimming through the ashes of another life_  
_There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed_

- Shinedown

* * *

I could hear a beeping sound through the darkness, which slowly drew me out of my unconsciousness. I tried to open my eyes, but found it difficult to pull myself out of my slumber. Instead I lay there, still blind to what was on the other side of my eyelids as I tried to figure out what happened, and where I could possibly be. My body hurt and felt as if I was weighted with lead. I tried to swallow but my mouth was dry and my throat was like sandpaper.

My entire life my dreams and reality were always filled with visions of what's to come, but for the first time ever . . . there was nothing. That scared me worse than my physical pain. Without my visions I had nothing. I _was _nothing. With a deep breath that hurt profoundly, I slowly lifted my eyelids. Everything was blurry, but after several minutes of adjustment I recognized hospital equipment. The beeping noises were from several machines that I was hooked up to. My arms were covered with tape and an IV in my left hand. The sheet exposed an area with red-tinted gauze from what I can only assume was blood.

I stared at the ceiling and tried my hardest to remember what happened to lead me here. It was the first time in my life that I had to recall something purely from memory and not from an image that played itself in my head like a movie. This alone panicked me, even before the recollection of the memory I searched for made itself known. The memory crashed over me like a lethal tidal wave: Jacob's cabin, Edward shot, Bella shooting . . . _me_.

"Hey, we were wondering when you were going to wake up."

My head turned to find Jasper sitting in a chair beside my bed. It looked like he just woke up. I wondered how long he had been sitting vigilantly at my side.

"How long have I been out for?" I croaked.

"Three days," he replied.

"Have you been here the whole time?"

Jasper nervously ran his fingers through his hair before looking back at me. "Yes. I wanted to make sure that when you woke up I would be the one to explain everything."

He looked how I felt: like hell. I was sure I didn't look much better either. He was the best thing that had ever happened in my life and knowing he had been sitting here for three days, in an uncomfortable hospital chair, made my heart crack. He leaned forward and rested the side of his face on my legs and glanced up at me. I reached my hand up to brush my fingers along his cheekbone, but immediately realized I couldn't. It wasn't because my muscles wouldn't work; I was restrained.

Jasper sat up quickly, sighed, and moved my blanket to reveal the fact I was handcuffed to the bed. "You won't be able to move your arm. You're under police custody right now. You've been placed under arrest and, when you're well enough to leave, you'll be taken to jail. I'm sorry," he said softly.

"But . . ." I started to stutter, but then immediately found my bearings and started to explain my impeccably rehearsed explanation and alibi. "Edward called to tell me that Jacob had kidnapped Bella so I went there to help, but I arrived too late. Bella and Edward had already been shot, but in one last moment of confusion Bella shot me! She was probably thinking I was Jacob. I know it was an accident on her part, but I don't understand why I'm handcuffed right now. Jasper, please! You have to go and get the police so I can straighten this all out!" I was starting to sound desperate.

Jasper's eyes met mine, showing a hint of sadness, before he shook his head slightly and sat back in his chair.

"Alice, I _am _the police."

My mouth dropped open. "What are you talking about?" I gasped.

"Me and Rosalie . . . we work for the FBI. We came to Forks to uncover a gambling ring when people started to die randomly and suspiciously. This area of the country isn't the most populated place in the world . . . so after a while it started to raise red flags. We narrowed in on Jacob Black when he slipped an off-hand remark about the death of a mechanic. From his other illegal operations in the area we decided to investigate further, but we never figured out fully who he was working with.

"We started to keep an eye on him and his friends from the reservation, but they were all sloppy and dumb. We knew that whoever was pulling this stuff off with him was much cleaner and smarter than Black, but we could never find anything solid. Whoever was working this little crime ring was extremely smart and careful and didn't leave any messy footprints in their wake. That was until a little someone by the name of Isabella Swan-Newton moved back to town.

"We were watching Jacob when we saw Mike Newton meet up with him. We knew that someone like Mike would have no business meeting with someone like Black unless it was for reasons that he shouldn't be, but of course we knew we would have to watch closely to see what happened because we only saw Mike and Jacob meet once. Slowly things started happening. When Mike's mistress went missing, and then _he_ died, we knew we were dealing with someone who was in a position to cover up death, possibly because they worked directly _with_ death."

"Edward," I whispered.

Jasper gave me a sympathetic smile before he continued. "Yes, we did start focusing on Edward after that. I was there in the car when we had the accident that led to Mike dying, but I was injured too so I wasn't able to see if Edward did anything to kill him. It was when I finally made the connection that Edward was in the prime position as Medical Examiner to kill off people, and then write off their death as accidental that it all started falling together. Since he was the one who was doing the autopsies that would determine cause of death, it only made sense."

"So . . . you know it was all Edward? Why am I cuffed?"

"Because after we started following Edward, he didn't do anything that we could get him on. If he had done things in the past, he had covered his tracks well enough that we would never catch him. So we hoped we could catch him in future _endeavors_,but with Bella in his life he seemed to be living the straight and narrow. Rosalie got close enough with Bella to eliminate her as a suspect of having Mike killed, and if anything, it seemed that Edward was trying to _protect_ Bella, not off her."

"_Pssh_," I hissed out annoyed, "you are so stupid!"

"Is there something you would like to tell me, Alice?"

_Shit! _I realized that telling Jasper that he was stupid for thinking that Edward was a good guy in all of this would just lead him to know that I knew much more than I was letting on. I quickly composed myself before I gave him my best fake smile. "Why, no. I just wonder why all this has led to me being cuffed to a bed, after _I _was the one shot?"

"Good question, Alice," he said as he stood up and started pacing the room. "Rosalie and I were about to abort ship, due to a lack of any solid evidence, when I overheard you on the phone one day to none other than Jacob Black." He stopped his pacing and turned to face me. "I never really understood your gift, but apparently your feelings for me weakened you, because you never saw that I heard you, that I followed you, and that I knew you were hell bent on keeping whatever little agreements you had with your _team_ going, despite everyone else's desire to stop. _My_ only regret is that I'm afraid my feelings for _you_ weakened _me_ slightly, and three days ago I let you out of my sight, and it caused a lot of tragedy. I really did love you, Alice. When I first met you I had no idea you were involved. You have no idea how heartbroken I am that things ended up the way they did."

"Where is everyone? What happened?" I asked as I felt something completely foreign fall down my cheek . . . _a_ _tear_?

"What do you think happened, Alice? You got your wish," he said as he turned to walk towards the door.

"Wait!" I shouted after him. "Where are you going?"

"Emmett's outside with Rosalie. He wants to talk to you. I told him I would let him in after I spoke to you first."

"But . . . Jasper . . . wait!" I called to him again.

He paused at the door, his hand on the doorknob, but didn't turn to look at me. "What Alice?" he asked.

"So . . . are they . . . dead?"

I saw Jasper's shoulders lift slowly as he took a deep breath. "Yes . . . they're dead. The both of them," he said before opening the door and walking out.

Whispers echoed through the open door before Emmett stepped through and shut the door behind him. He was the same mammoth man he always was, but his usual smirk was replaced with a frown, and his eyes were red and puffy like he'd been crying.

"He's doing me a favor, you know?" Emmett said softly.

My heart flipped in my chest. Here was my chance to escape—Emmett would Houdini me out of the cuffs and we'd flee before Jasper knew what happened. Instead, Emmett pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down as his eyes searched mine.

"Alice." He took a heavy breath, his chest rising and falling. "Why couldn't you have let it go? Just let Edward live his life with Bella? Let them skip town and be lost forever?" He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head slowly.

"He was going to destroy everything we created! Everything." A sob was stuck in the back of my throat. "Just get me out of here," I pleaded quietly, meeting his eyes. "Please."

"I can't do that, Alice. I'm honestly not sure if you won't do the same thing to me you did to Edward when you find out I'm going back to D.C. with Rosalie."

My mouth dropped open. "You're joking, right?" Why was everyone leaving me? Everyone! Even Jasper. . . .

"No, I'm not," he said, his voice soft.

"I'll tell them everything about you! About us!" I screeched.

"I figured as much—so I told Rosalie already."

"You what?" I shook my head, disbelieving. "You told her everything?"

"Everything I knew of. Of course, Edward died with most of our secrets. You could have had everything, Alice. Happiness, Jasper . . . friends. Instead, you ripped us all apart and lost your chance for redemption. We were fools, but Edward and I finally figured out the real meaning of life was love. Not death. Even Jacob fought for his love. You're the fool now, Alice."

Tears streamed down my face in a torrent, my voice caught in my throat. Emmett reached over and offered me a cup with a straw. I drank it quickly, still feeling the moisture dry on my tongue too quickly.

"Listen, Alice. This will be the last time you'll see me. I'm sorry that things had to end this way, but I see no other alternative. How you didn't see this coming is a mystery to me, but I hope you've lost your visions forever because I'd prefer if this be our last encounter. I don't want to be a killer. I want a family. I want love. It's impossible to have those things with you in my life." Emmett rose to his full height, creating a shadow with his massive frame as he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Death by Alice," he murmured.

I couldn't hug him. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything except cry and shake my head as I watched him leave, his shoulder the last thing I saw before the door shut. There were so many words I wanted to say to him, so many things that were left wide open. Where was the closure at?

No one came back inside the room except nurses for the rest of the day.

_Why couldn't the bullet have hit my heart instead?_

. . .

I managed to fall asleep. It was nothing but nightmares. All my victims haunted me. Celebrating my downfall. No one got away with murder—not even someone who could see the future. It became this animal inside of me, like a beast I couldn't control. It blinded me from the simplest of truths. This beast inside me started to make me think I was invincible. God. The control and power over taking my life was not something a mere mortal could do while keeping their mind. My eyes were closed, but I was far from being rested. I had nothing. I also had no one to blame but myself.

The door to my room opened and my eyes flew open when I looked at the shadow walking towards my bed. When I saw his sad, red eyes, I looked away.

"They brought in my son three nights ago with Isabella Swan. They told me both were DOA . . . you know? Dead on arrival. Being the next of kin . . . and funeral director . . . I had to call Williamson Funeral Home from Port Angeles to handle everything. I couldn't bear it." Carlisle's voice was rough and hoarse. "Esme couldn't bear it. In two days, I will bury my son who died, and all I can think of is why, Alice? Why? I don't understand why or how and you were like a daughter to us." He closed his eyes briefly and the grief on his face was painful.

"What's the sharper end of the blade?" I croaked. "The truth or lie? Does it really matter when your throats slit open for the whole world to see? Edward was like a brother to me. I was losing him. He was the only person to ever understand me. He was the only one just as screwed up as me. I couldn't lose him . . . then I knew I was crazy."

"So you murdered him?"

"He wasn't supposed to pick her." It came out as a whisper.

"I don't know whether to hate you with a passion or pity you."

"I pity and hate myself," I finally spoke, making eye contact with the broken father before me.

Carlisle backed away, shaking his head. He opened the door, stepped through, and right before he shut the door he said, ever so softly, "If Edward came back from the dead, I'm positive he'd kill you if someone else didn't get to you before then." Then the door clicked shut.

. . .

The door slammed shut as I sat uncomfortably in the back of the government vehicle, rain beginning to mist against the glass. Rosalie was already buckled in up front while Jasper sat behind the wheel and started the car. He put the car in gear and drove away from the hospital. They were both quiet up front, only making remarks about silly things such as bad drivers. It wasn't until we were heading out of town that Jasper finally spoke to me.

"Rosalie didn't want me to do this, but I think you need to understand the ramifications of what you did," he said and glanced at me in the rearview mirror. He put his turn signal on and turned into a cemetery. It was pouring down rain outside as people gathered under their umbrellas around two caskets floating over their new homes.

"Chief Swan thought it was fitting to bury Bella next to Edward considering he died for her. He doesn't know the extent of the story, no one does, but he knows enough," explained Rosalie hoarsely. She was crying. "He loved her with everything in his being—and I tried to pull them apart."

"Go ahead." Jasper handed Rosalie an umbrella; she took it and left.

Jasper turned off the car but kept the windshield wipers going so I could see the funeral's progress. So many people were here for both of them, and deep down I knew that if it were me in one of those caskets that I wouldn't have nearly the turnout that these two had. I watched Rosalie run up to someone who was hidden behind an umbrella and assumed it was Emmett. Who else would it be? But I couldn't see the person's face so who knows?

"I was so sure you loved me." I spoke into my lap. Jasper continued to stare out of the window.

"I did, Alice." He voice was hollow. It was like he was void inside. "I still do."

"Then how can you do this to me?"

His head shook disapprovingly. "You're not the woman I thought you were. I thought you were strong. I thought you had a good heart. You are nothing but stone. Empty. You work so hard to protect yourself . . . because you know how easily you could crumble. I would love you if you crumbled. If you let yourself feel all the pain and hurt you suffered being mocked in school. You tried to protect yourself from monsters by becoming a scarier one. That doesn't make you strong. It makes you a coward."

"Jasper . . ." His name came out like a whisper. "I never loved until you."

"I know. My heart is broken Alice. I am glad about one thing though."

"What's that? That you get to lock me away?"

"No, Alice. At least I know it wasn't for nothing. I was able to show a girl who thought she was unloved, and incapable of love, to show love. I believe you loved me back, even if it was too late for me to save you."

Rosalie ran toward the car and hopped in, shaking the umbrella before she pulled it inside the car. I looked out the window and saw Emmett for a brief second before he turned and his umbrella blocked his face from view. With that, and after the conversation between Jasper and me, I felt as if my life was over. It _was_ over. Jasper turned the key in the ignition and put the car in gear. As we drove away, my face flooded with tears as I turned around to watch the people at the funeral disperse, desperately searching for my family again. I took several deep breaths to pull myself together before I turned around and caught Rosalie and Jasper smirking at one another.

"That was a very nice funeral," Rosalie said with a wink to Jasper who returned the gesture.

"Yes, yes. Beautifully done," he agreed. Then they both hastily returned to their distraught faces with ease. Like it was all a joke.

_Huh. That's strange_. . . .

**The End**

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_God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled_. ~Author Unknown

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**A/N**: We wanted to thank everyone for staying with us this year as the story for Edward and Bella unfolded in _Wicked Angel_. We've been through thick and thin, horrible and wonderful, and now we must bid our story adieu and bow out. This was where we wanted it to end from the beginning. This was the plan. Though we know you'll be full of questions that was also the plan. End this story as you wish. Fill in the blanks with how you want this to be completed.

Thank you Lisa for your wonderful edits, as always.

We would like to say that there is a possibility that there might be a part two to this story. Add us to author alert to find out. :) Merry Christmas.

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. DevilishPleasures is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement is intended.


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